Hawke made her way down the stairs, a few minutes after Isabela had left her standing outside Varric's quarters. She had needed a few moments to compose herself after the latest pass the busty pirate had made towards her. Lana could still feel her lips on hers even though the kiss had lasted no more than a few seconds. There was intent behind it though, a lingering sense of intensity and passion. Isabela was trying to make her see what she was missing out on, what Lana was prohibiting herself from experiencing. The pirate had become very adventurous with her methods of persuasion. Maker's Breath, what was she going to try next? Hawke shivered at the thought. She definitely needed to distance herself from the Rivaini, at least until their latest flirting escapade had calmed down. It was beginning to get somewhat serious now, even more competitive than before. Isabela was beginning to cross the line between flirting and pretty much just going in for the kill. And Hawke wasn't that easy. She had to put the Rivaini back in her place before the woman took what she needed to satisfy herself and left Hawke wondering where her strong resolve had gone. That kiss had been given away too freely. She would not get another chance to do it again.
Lana reached the door to The Hanged Man and pushed it open. She took one last glance back at Isabela, standing at her usual spot beside the bar. The pirate was having a conversation with one of the local patrons, running her hand up and down his arm. She glanced towards the door, feeling Hawke's eyes on her. The Rivaini threw her a wink and a smirk before turning back to her latest catch. Lana smiled to herself and shook her head before exiting the tavern into the rain. She pulled her jacket closer around her, feeling the crisp severity of the wind and the sharp drops of freezing cold rain water as it lashed against her face. Within a couple of minutes she was soaked to the skin. Hawke screwed up her face and kept her head low as she battled against the wind, walking in the direction of Gamlen's home.
As Lana reached the front door of the house, shouting could be heard from inside. Again. Andraste's Ass! Would there ever be a moment's peace for them? Sighing to herself, she pushed open the door and entered.
"...can't believe you're spending my children's coin in a brothel!"
Leandra and Gamlen were at each other's throats again.
"Well you can't expect me to stay here all day with you lot," Gamlen yelled back, "I was perfectly happy until you showed up on my doorstep. Now I can't even relax in my own home!"
"The Blight wasn't my fault," Leandra replied, "Believe me if I could go back I would! I've never been more ashamed of you in my entire life Gamlen!"
"I don't need your approval, dear sister. You may have been Mother and Father's favourite but that was then. This is now. Just because you organised a stupid dinner doesn't mean I have to stay for it! You can't tell me what to do anymore Leandra," Gamlen said spitefully.
"I didn't organize it Gamlen!" Leandra exclaimed.
"Bullshit!" Gamlen spat, "Then who did?"
"I did, Uncle."
Lana looked up in surprise. She had been checking her mail at the door, not paying any attention whatsoever to the argument going on around her. That was until Bethany's voice chimed in. She said the words softly but Hawke reacted as though she had shouted them. Leandra and Gamlen fell silent and all three of them stared towards the bedroom where Bethany was standing in the doorway. Lana could tell she had been crying.
"I...well," Gamlen stuttered. It was clear he hadn't expected this. Bethany stared at him disappointed. "That still doesn't mean that I...You can't make plans for me girl!"
"What did you say?" Hawke shouted in disbelief. She knew Gamlen was an ass, but Maker's Breath talk about being a complete bastard! Bethany's head dropped. She stared at the floor dismally. Gamlen turned to Hawke then.
"I said the young girl had no right to presume I would be participating in family dinners without asking me!" he yelled. Hawke was fuming. She couldn't believe her ears.
"You really are scum Gamlen, do you know that?" she shouted angrily. "All Bethany wanted was to get to know you better. You are our uncle after all. Or doesn't that mean anything to you?"
"I...Of course it does Lana!" Gamlen spat, "But I don't need stupid family dinners and social pressures spoiling the way I lived before you lot got here! I'm a grown man for the Maker's sake!"
Hawke shook her head. "You may be grown Gamlen...but you are no man!" she spat with disgust. "A proper man wouldn't leave his family to rot while he went whoring around, spending the coin they earned behind their backs."
"Don't you dare talk to me like-"
"I'll take to you how I want!" Hawke spat, "You want respect then you should try earning it Uncle. Not that you would know how. You've never earned a thing in your life I'm sure. Stealing mother's inheritance and then stealing from your nieces? Don't you dare command respect from me, you worthless piece of shit!"
"Its fine, Lana," Bethany interjected quietly, "Just leave it."
"It's not fine!" Lana replied, walking towards her sister. "He stands there insulting you after you tried to do something nice for him and then asks me to respect him for it?"
"I know," Bethany said softly, "Just let it go, Sister. We can't win."
"I've let it go for too long, Bethany." Hawke shook her head, her anger uncontrollable now, "We have to draw the line somewhere. Stealing from us that's one thing, but I won't let him speak to you like that! Ever!"
"I said its fine," Bethany replied, her voice straining now.
"It's fine?" Hawke repeated. She couldn't understand how Bethany was so calm. "All the effort you and mother went to? All the coin spent on food? Wasted! All you wanted was a family dinner and this bastard didn't even have the decency to stay!"
"WELL YOU DIDN'T STAY EITHER!"
Silence filled the room. Lana stared at her sister, gobsmacked. Bethany had never yelled at her like that before. She was breathing heavily. Tears began to spill down her face as she stared at Lana, surprised a little herself by what had come out of her mouth. Hawke's jaw dropped slightly. She felt an uncomfortable sensation of guilt snake its way through her.
"I..." her words caught in her throat.
Bethany cried silently. She had not meant to sound so angry. She hated seeing that look of hurt on her sister's face. It was probably the first time Bethany herself had caused it. Her words had been harsh. She knew perfectly well why Lana had left yesterday during dinner. The awkwardness between her mother and Lana this time had been her fault. Lana had tried. Bethany knew she did it for her. But it was too much to ask. Bethany saw the look Leandra had given her eldest daughter. It hurt to see because it was so unjust. It was the first time she had ever saw Lana almost cry. She felt nothing but pity for her older sister having to face those silent accusations everyday, especially when she was working so hard for them all. It was a thankless task taking care of your family. That had been proven once again.
Lana stared at the floor sadly. When Bethany yelled, something was definitely wrong. She was normally so calm and understanding. Now Lana had turned the only person on her side against her. So wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. The pressure was becoming too much.
"See?" Gamlen blurted out, breaking the silence, "You think you're so high and mighty, dear, but your nothing but a screw up!"
"And you're nothing but a thieving bastard!" Hawke shouted back, turning to look at him.
"How dare you!" Gamlen shouted, moving towards her furiously. Hawke stood her ground, staring up defiantly into the face of all that remained of her Mother's family. She was extremely glad she had never met any other Amells. Gamlen's head was inches away from hers now. She could smell the alcohol from his breath.
"Give me a reason!" she growled at him, "I beg you!"
"Stop this, please!" Leandra said, jumping in between them and pushing them apart.
"You should be ashamed of yourself Gamlen," Lana said spitefully, pointing her finger at him from behind her mother. Leandra walked her towards the door.
"Get out," her mother said to her. Lana looked down, surprised to find her mother was talking to her.
"What?
Normally she was indifferent to her presence, speaking only when she needed something done. Leandra's brown eyes stared into her daughter's then. Hawke could see that familiar look of blame. She then realised her mother wasn't doing this to protect her. She was doing it to protect Gamlen.
"I said get out," Leandra repeated.
"You're throwing me out?" Hawke asked in disbelief. Leandra shook her head.
"No," she said softly shaking her head. "You just need to calm down."
"I need to calm down!?" Hawke yelled. She couldn't believe her ears. "You and your dear brother have been arguing daily, not giving a shit about how the rest of us feel and all of a sudden I need to calm down?"
Leandra was giving her that same look of disapproval. A look she only seemed to reserve especially for her. Maker's Breath, was she ever going to get her mother's respect back?
"Go, Lana," her mother said firmly, pointing to the door, "Just...go. You've done enough damage to this family as it is..."
Hawke's breath caught. She froze, staring into the saddened eyes of the woman who had brought her into this world. They were cold, reproachful, unforgiving. A vision of a giant ogre reaching down towards Carver shot through Lana's mind. Then another of him lying dead in a pool of his own blood. It was as though she could read her mother's thoughts. Lana could feel tears build in her eyes as her mother gave her the most hurtful look a parent could ever give to their child. One of upmost disappointment.
Several seconds passed, Lana still frozen to the spot. The look her mother was giving her was more painful than any physical injury she had sustained in the past. Bethany and Gamlen were also shocked into silence at Leandra's harsh words. Hawke swallowed over the lump which had formed in her throat. Her jaw tightened as she fought back the tears in her eyes. Then she tore her view from her mother and turned, opening the door.
"Wait!" Bethany called, running towards the door, "Lana, please! Stop!"
It was too late though. Lana had already run the length of the district into the pouring rain without looking back. The evening had gotten dark without them realising. Bethany ran to the top of the steps outside Gamlen's house. Before she could follow Lana, the darkness had swallowed her sister up whole, leaving no trace of her behind.
"LANA!" Bethany yelled desperately after her, her voice echoing off the cold stone walls of Lowtown's derelict estates. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The rain fell in sheets, hammering off the tin roofs of Lowtown's houses and shacks. Bethany stared off into the distance after her sister. This wasn't right. How could things have turned out this way? After everything they had been through together and this was the way it was going to end? Bethany shook her head. She ran back into the house and grabbed her coat.
"Where do you think you're going?" her mother demanded.
"I'm going after her," Bethany replied. Her mother grabbed her arm.
"No you're not!" she exclaimed. "The streets are dangerous at this time of night."
Bethany shook out of her mother's grasp. She turned to face her.
"Lana is my sister!" she said tearfully, "She has done more to help this family than anyone, Mother. I can't believe you would say such a thing to her. After everything she's done for us."
"Your brother died to protect this family," Leandra said sadly. "Lana was supposed to look after him and she didn't! I am not about to let my other child run into danger after her."
Bethany couldn't believe her mother's words. "You forget one thing, Mother...Lana is your child as well...How long do you intend to punish her for?"
Not waiting for a response, Bethany turned on her heel and ran out into the rain, following the last direction she had seen her sister run.
The streets of Lowtown were creepy at night. Every corner Bethany turned she expected to be attacked. There were shouts in the distance of drunken men as they no doubt made their way home from The Hanged Man. She shivered against the cold. The rain was getting heavier. Bethany ran as fast as she could towards the tavern, her feet splashing in the mucky puddles filling up on the uneven ground. She pushed open the door and entered.
Inside was thick with cigar smoke. She scanned the patrons, looking for any familiar faces. Suddenly her eyes spotted Merril and Isabela. They were sitting at a table in the corner playing cards. Bethany rushed up to them.
"Hey Sweet Thing," Isabela greeted her, smiling, "Take a seat. I was just showing Merrill how to play. You might pick up a few pointers."
"Have you seen Lana?" Bethany asked desperately. Isabela shook her head.
"Not since earlier this evening. Why?"
"Something bad happened," Bethany said her eyes filling with fresh tears. "Mother threw her out of the house and she ran off. I have no idea where!"
"How awful!" Merrill said sadly, "I hope she's alright."
"She'll be fine," Isabela said, "Don't worry, she's a big girl Bethany. She can take care of herself."
"I'm worried about her," Bethany said sadly. "I yelled at her...I was just upset. It's Carvers anniversary today..."
She fell into the nearest chair, a look of despair on her face. Isabela stared at the young girl as she wiped her tears. She felt a stab of pity for her. The pirate got to her feet then.
"Stay here with Merrill," she said, "I'll go look for her."
Bethany looked up and smiled as best she could. "Thank you, Bela."
Isabela smiled at her and patted her on the shoulder. This wasn't any of her business but Bethany was so sweet. She didn't like seeing her falling to pieces like this. She knew Lana would be fine but as she stared down at her little sister, Isabela knew that no words would convince Bethany unless they came from Lana's own mouth. The pirate knocked back her drink and placed the cards down on the table before walking to the door and exiting the tavern.
Isabela searched Hightown, checking The Blooming Rose first. It was where she would go if she needed to clear her head. There was nothing like a bit of pleasure to counteract the pain. Or inflict more on you if that was your thing. Alas, Hawke it seemed wasn't the type of person to drown her sorrows in another's bosom. Maybe the place reminded her too much of Gamlen. Or maybe she didn't want to end up sleeping with someone who he had. There wasn't a large selection of suitors here after all.
Seeing The Blooming Rose as a lost cause, Isabela decided to check on Aveline in the barracks. She couldn't see why anyone would want to come here voluntarily. The pirate spent enough of her time in the brig. It was almost criminal to return by choice. But Aveline was tight with the Hawke family. Maybe she had seen her. Isabela reluctantly pushed open the Guard Captain's door and walked in.
"My, my...We have moved up in the world haven't we?" she joked, taking a look around Aveline's new quarters. The redheaded Guardswoman looked up in horror. Her least favourite person had just walked through the door.
"Don't you knock?" she asked angrily, staring up over a large stack of papers in front of her.
"Depends..." Isabela began, "I knock boots if that's what you mean?"
"When is that ever what I mean?" Aveline asked sarcastically. She was starting to get irritated already. Maker this was just too simple! Too simple it was staring to become boring winding her up. Isabela needed to think of something different. But now wasn't the time.
"Relax Big Girl, I'm not here to play," the Rivaini said. "Have you seen Hawke?"
Aveline got to her feet. "Why?"
"She's gone missing. Her mother kicked her out. Bethany's going frantic with worry so I offered my services," Isabela said simply.
"I thought the only services you offered had to be paid for, Whore" Aveline said, folding her arms. She seemed pleased with herself. Isabela laughed, untroubled by her jibe.
"Oh you've been waiting to use that one. Did you practice?" she mocked. Aveline's jaw tightened.
"Shut up!"
"I'll just be going then," Isabela said chuckling. "Clearly I was right about Guard Captains...Useless, no real authority. Not like on a ship."
"If you see Hawke tell her-"
"Tell her yourself!" Isabela called over her shoulder as she exited the barracks. "I'm not your message in a bottle, Guard Captain." The pirate's laughter echoed down the halls as she walked away. Aveline slammed the door shut behind her. Maker she hated her!
Isabela made her way back into Lowtown. This was hopeless. She was never going to find her. Hawke had a talent for hiding when she didn't want to be found. Just as this thought entered Isabela's head she spotted the woman in the distance. She was walking towards The Hanged Man, absolutely soaked to the skin. The pirate loved the rain. It reminded her of being at sea. She was accustomed to it. Hawke on the other hand looked like a drowned rat. But a very sexy one of course. The clothes she was wearing clung to her body like never before and Isabela got a little too excited at seeing her. She took a quick, approving glance at her ass before rushing up to greet her.
"Fancy meeting you here?" The Rivaini said in her ear from behind. Hawke jumped and turned to her. Isabela's smile wiped off her face at once. Lana didn't look like herself at all. There was a cold look in her eyes which stopped the pirate in her tracks.
"What happened to you?" Isabela asked curiously. Believe it or not she was genuinely concerned for the woman. There was no twinkle of mischief in Lana's eyes, no smirk playing on the corner of her lips, none of her usual swagger or charm she oozed. To be honest, she looked utterly exhausted. She didn't look like the same person who the Rivaini had kissed earlier that day.
"Go away Isabela, I'm not in the mood..."
"Bethany asked me to find you," the pirate replied, eyeing her carefully, "She's worried."
"I don't know why," Hawke mumbled, "My mother made it perfectly clear I've let everyone down."
"You don't really believe that do you?" Isabela asked.
Lana shrugged.
"Where have you been?" The pirate questioned.
"Walking," Hawke replied simply. "Apparently I need to calm down."
Isabela chuckled. "I don't think you could get any calmer, Hawke. You look completely worn out."
"That your idea of a compliment?" Lana asked. Isabela chuckled again. The words sounded more spiteful than humorous but Isabela could sense the joke underneath.
"If you want it to be," she replied, smirking. "Or do you want another kiss instead?"
Lana made a face, "You're not as good a kisser as you think you are, Bela."
"Oy!" the pirate said, whacking Lana on the arm. A small grin appeared on her face then. "Finally a smile!" Isabela approved. "You were starting to look like Fenris."
"If you're here to make me feel better about myself you're on a roll," Hawke said sarcastically. Isabela laughed.
"I always aim to please," she said.
"I saw that," Hawke said, "Did you have fun with your man friend back at The Hanged Man earlier?"
Isabela's smirk widened, "Jealous?"
"Hardly."
"Liar."
Lana turned to face her. Isabela was enjoying herself. She found it hard not too with Lana, even when she was sulking. She gave Hawke a sly smile as they stopped outside The Hanged Man.
"So I heard you're homeless now?" Isabela inquired.
"For a while at least," Lana said, "Why? Going to offer me your bed?"
Isabela laughed. "My bed's been available to you for quite some time, Hawke."
"Really?" she mocked, "I would never have guessed."
The pirate chuckled once more. "It's your choice," she said shrugging, "I won't bite...Not unless you want me to."
Hawke chuckled as Isabela pushed open the door to The Hanged Man. As she made to enter Isabela reached out to stop her.
"One more thing," she said, "Go easy on Bethany...She's pretty torn up about Carver."
"Oh, Maker!" Hawke said, holding her head. She closed her eyes tightly. "His anniversary..."
"Yep," Isabela confirmed. "Sorry..."
The pirate beckoned her inside with her outstretched arm and led her over to her table. Bethany and Merrill were still sitting playing cards. Bethany jumped up as soon as she seen Hawke.
"Lana!" she exclaimed running forward, "I'm so sorry, Sister. I didn't mean what I said. I..."
"Ssshhh," Hawke soothed. She reached out and wrapped her arms around her. Bethany melted into her older sister's embrace and buried her tear-stained face in her soaking wet clothes. "It's ok...Don't worry..."
"Are you alright?" Bethany asked, still clinging to her.
"Fine," Lana answered untruthfully. She was far from fine but Bethany didn't need to know that.
Isabela returned to the table a moment later with a bottle of red wine. Hawke watched from over Bethany's shoulder as the Rivaini poured some in each of the four goblets she had laid out. Lana kissed her sister on the head and led her over to the table. Isabela raised her goblet in the air.
"To Carver," she said, staring at Hawke. Lana smiled at her in thanks and she, Bethany and Merrill all followed her lead.
"To Carver," they repeated simultaneously. All four of them took a sip and sat down. Lana regretted everything that had transpired today. It was supposed to be a time of remembrance and instead it had turned into a war. It wasn't exactly the best way to commemorate her little brother's anniversary. His death had hit Bethany harder than anyone. They were twins after all. At least he was resting peacefully now though. Those who die are never truly gone as long as one remembers them. And Carver's memory would live on forever in both Lana and Bethany's heart.