Maas POV

Moran completely blindsided me.

And I don't think he meant to.

I think he expected me to feel…I don't know.

Differently, somehow.

But what I felt was…betrayal.

Outrage.

Apprehension.

Resentment.

And most of it was on behalf of Alex and Bobby.

"Stanley, come into my office," Moran had said to me a few minutes ago.

Casually.

Almost cheerfully.

As though today was going to be a great day.

And up until now, it had been.

In fact, it had been an eye-opening and life-altering week, and moments ago I was flying high and full of self-confidence.

So maybe I should back up a little bit.

Monday night, I got a text from Lisa just as I was leaving Pete's after a nice, relaxing evening with two couples who always managed to make me want what I don't have.

What they have.

Meet me in twenty minutes.

That's what the text said.

That's what my life has turned in to.

She sneaks away from Bill a couple of times a week, and I'm just supposed to drop everything to be with her.

I couldn't blame her for expecting that I'd comply.

I mean, I've been complying for twenty years.

And never once have I cheated on her.

How sad is that?

I've stayed faithful to a married woman who was never going to leave her husband.

For some reason, Monday night I felt like I'd reached my breaking point.

Because I was never going to have what they have if I kept allowing myself to come in second place.

With my mind made up, I went to the hotel. Not the one where I'm staying, but the one where we've been meeting for two decades.

She was on me as soon as I entered the room, but I finally managed to extricate myself.

"Just…wait a minute," I told her.

"We don't have that long."

"That's fine. This won't take that long," I said firmly.

And my tone must have clued her in to the fact that I was serious.

She stepped back from me and let out an annoyed sigh as she ran her hand through her hair.

"Stan, I'm not leaving Bill. I've told you that, and you said you're okay with it, so…"

"I'm not."

"You're not what?" she asked in confusion, and it struck me right at that moment how one-sided our relationship had been and I wondered exactly when it got that way.

She didn't love me.

She couldn't, or we wouldn't be in this situation.

"I'm not okay with it. And I'm not doing this anymore."

Initially, I'd planned to give her one last chance to leave Bill, but as I stood there looking at her, it hit me that I didn't really want her to leave him. I'd been with her for so long because it was habit, and it seemed to work for both of us, but the thought of having something meaningful with her, something more than sex…I just couldn't picture it.

"You're breaking up with me?" she asked incredulously.

"If you want to call it that. I want more, Lisa. I deserve more."

"Of course you do," she said, as she moved closer and ran her hands down the front of my shirt. "We all want more, Stan. But this is us, okay? This is how we work."

"It was how we worked," I corrected. "It doesn't work for me anymore."

"Since when? Did you meet somebody? Clare just kicked you out ten days ago."

"I'm well aware of when that happened. And no, I haven't met anyone."

"Then what's the problem?" she asked coyly as she started to unbuckle my belt.

I put my hands over hers to stop her, even though my resolve was crumbling because it was always so easy for us to check our feelings at the door while we took care of our physical needs.

But not this time.

"The problem is that I don't love you anymore."

She faltered for a moment and then looked up at me and said, "That's okay. This isn't about love."

"Well maybe it should be."

With that, I turned away from her and walked out without looking back.

And then I headed straight for the nearest bar.

I was already a little buzzed from the drinks I'd had at Pete's, so after two more at the bar around the corner from the hotel, I was feeling no pain.

"You look like a man with a lot on his mind."

I glanced over at the woman who'd spoken to me as she eased onto the bar stool next to mine.

"You could say that."

"So…solitude or company?" she asked me.

I went with company.

And let me tell you…she was excellent company.

It was probably pretty stupid of me to jump out of one woman's bed and into another, but the lady I met at the bar on Monday night had no expectations of any kind of follow-up.

And I kind of thought that maybe I needed that…needed to force myself to move on before I changed my mind and went back to Lisa with my tail between my legs.

The next night, I didn't plan on a repeat performance, but Lisa texted me.

We need to talk. Thirty minutes.

I replied, which is something I very rarely ever did.

And I said no.

Then I went to a bar and chatted up a few different women until I found one who seemed interested and willing and then I took her back to my hotel.

So after twenty years of only ever being with the same woman, I was with two different women in two nights.

During the day Wednesday, I wondered if maybe I needed to call my own intervention, maybe have Bobby and Logan out for drinks to talk about my newfound habit.

But their case picked up, and I was busy, too, and when Wednesday evening rolled around and Lisa texted me again – please, I really need to see you – I didn't feel quite so tempted as I'd felt before.

And I didn't feel the urge to go out and find company.

So I had dinner in the restaurant of my hotel, and then I went to my room alone.

And I felt okay.

Almost like a weight had been lifted.

Thursday morning, I went in to work a little early so that I could get a jump on the day, and then a few hours later, I flipped on the TV to watch Alex's briefing.

"Captain, doesn't your lack of denial actually constitute a confirmation?" the reporter from Channel 7 asked Alex.

Don't take the bait, I chanted internally.

Not that I thought she would.

Alex might not like doing the briefings, but she handles it like it was her destiny.

If she wasn't careful, Zaring might start making a push for her to take over as the media liaison.

Or at least, he might if there was anyone as qualified as Alex to run Major Case.

Which at the moment, there wasn't.

It was amazing how quickly she took to that job, and how easily she'd earned the trust and respect of the detectives working under her.

I'd heard Moran mention on more than one occasion that she was one of the best he'd ever seen.

I wondered what he'd do if he ever found out about her and Goren.

He was certainly too smart to do something that would be detrimental to the department, but still…he'd be forced to do something.

Unless I could get him to hurry up and sign off on the change of departmental regulations.

I looked back up at the TV as Alex was making her wrap-up statement.

"…and I feel confident that each day brings us significantly closer to getting this killer off of the streets. That's all for today. Thank you."

I watched for another moment as the reporters called out to her retreating form, and then I reached up and clicked off the set.

A note on the fifth victim?

I was pretty sure she'd made that up.

Nice misdirection, Captain, I thought.

Although I guess she's good at that, considering that's what she and Bobby had to do on a regular basis.

And isn't that what I was helping her do by renting out her apartment?

I felt honored that they trusted me enough to bring me into their little circle.

Although to be honest, I'm pretty sure that's what set me down the path of being dissatisfied with Lisa.

I was the odd-man out.

They all had someone with whom they could share their day, and I had no one.

Even when I had Clare, I really had no one.

She never wanted to hear about my day because she loathed everything about the job that took her true love away from her.

And I guess I can't really blame her. She probably did me a favor by kicking me out, because I'm not sure if I would've ever been man enough to leave.

But now things were going to be different.

I left my office and went down the hall, only to find Moran's office door closed.

"He's…in with someone," Denise said vaguely.

"Zaring?"

"No."

"Okay," I replied slowly, surprised at her unwillingness to share. "Can you let me know when he's done? I need to go over some changes to the department regs."

"Sure, Captain," she agreed.

I went back to my office and then checked my voice mail.

Thirteen messages since I left the office last night.

Eleven of them were from Lisa.

"Stan, don't do this. Don't just shut me out. You owe me more than that. I sacrificed my marriage for you."

"Sacrificed," I mumbled mockingly as I hit the delete button. "Maybe, but you sure as hell weren't ready to leave it, were you?"

"Please, Stan. Meet me tonight so that we can talk."

Delete.

"Twenty years, and I don't even get the courtesy of a returned phone call? Fine. Fuck you, Stan. You're a selfish son of a bitch and a lousy lay. Good luck finding someone willing to put up with you."

And delete.

Although that last message stung a little.

More than a little, really. I hadn't meant for it to get ugly between us, but her viciousness only served to solidify my opinion of our situation.

It had run its course.

I pushed the button to listen to the final message, expecting another verbal lashing from Lisa.

"Um…this is Traci. I hope it's okay that I called. I was going to make something up, but the truth is that I had a really nice time the other night, and I was hoping maybe you'd like to get together again sometime."

I stared at the phone, truly surprised to hear from Tuesday night's one-night stand.

And okay, so maybe she didn't want to just be a one-night stand.

Huh.

I mean, I'd left her my number because it seemed like the polite thing to do, but I hadn't actually expected her to use it.

But the timing of her call couldn't have been better because it sure as hell took the bite out of Lisa's message.

Not that I thought Traci was going to be the one or anything, but apparently she'd found me to be good company.

And not lousy in bed.

So I called her back at the number she'd left for me.

"You're a lawyer?" I asked her in surprise when she came on the line. A secretary had answered her phone and had rattled off an impressive list of partners.

"Stanley?"

"Yeah, sorry. It's me. I guess I never got around to asking what you do."

She laughed lightly, maybe a little self-consciously, and I liked the sound of it.

"I never asked you either. I think we had other things on our minds."

"I think we did," I agreed. "So, um…I'm a cop."

"And you're humble," she replied. "You're Captain Maas, the Deputy Chief of Detectives. I heard it on your voice mail."

"Oh, yeah," I said, and now it was my turn to laugh. "I promise I'm a better detective than it seems at the moment."

"I'm sure you are."

There was silence for a moment and then I realized that she was waiting for me to ask her out, since that's what she'd suggested in her message.

"So, I'm…I'm glad you called. And that you want to get together. Um…how about tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night would be great," she agreed.

We talked for a few more minutes, and she gave me her address so that I could pick her up for our date.

I hung up the phone and had a smile on my face.

So when a few minutes later Moran said, "Stanley, come into my office," through the intercom that he routinely used to summon me, I was still slightly distracted by my thoughts of Traci, and I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary from Moran because like I said…he'd sounded upbeat and borderline excited.

In fact, I had every intention of sweet-talking the boss into coming around to my way of thinking about the regs, since it sounded like he was in an amenable mood,.

Besides, the no-fraternization rule was antiquated and pointless and it showed a lack of trust in our detectives, telling them that they weren't adult enough to make smart choices about their personal relationships.

So I grabbed my version of the revised regs and left my office, heading for his.

"What's up, Chief?" I asked him when I opened his door and stepped into his office.

And that was when I realized that this day was going to hell in a hand basket, and I immediately started thinking of an excuse that would get me out of the office in a hurry, because I really needed to call Alex.

She needed to be here for this.

And she needed to be prepared for a fight, because I had a pretty good idea of where this unexpected meeting was heading.

See, when I stepped inside Moran's office, I saw that he wasn't alone.

There, in the visitor's chair, sat Danny Ross.

TBC...