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BalthazarxSam: 7
GabrielxSam: 8
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
"Well, that was hot," Balthazar grinned before Gabriel punched him. Castiel reached out to grab his best friend and Dean had a hold on him, and since he was slightly drunk, he missed. Luckily, Sam had quick reflexes and grabbed him before he hit the ground. Castiel mumbled something unintelligible and leaned back into Dean as Jimmy came over.
"I'm more drunk than I thought. Why are there two of you?" Dean asked.
"Cas? Explanation now," the twin said.
"Well, you see, when two sperm reach-"
"Not how we were created. Why is Balthazar on the floor?" Jimmy said and then he glared at Dean. "What are you doing with my brother?" Dean didn't get a chance to answer as Jimmy took his brother back, stumbling a little from the weight. Dean reached out to steady him but Jimmy bat his hand away with a glare. "And why are you pretending to be drunk? I've seen you drink ten tequila shots without wavering."
"I'm tired," Castiel said.
"You're just trying to pretend you're tired so you won't get yelled at," Jimmy grumbled. "Gabriel, get the idiot on the floor- and don't drop him."
"You don't want me carrying him them," Gabriel replied sourly. Castiel sighed and got out of Jimmy's grasp, bending down to get Balthazar and got him into a standing position before throwing him over his shoulder.
"How are we related?" Jimmy deadpanned.
"You and Gabriel are cousins. I don't know either of you," Castiel said.
"Why does my head hurt?" Balthazar frowned, coming back into consciousness. "… I feel like I've gone ten rounds with a truck."
"That'd be a combination of you getting punched and drunk," Jimmy informed him dutifully.
"Oh god, it's you," Balthazar frowned and then he groaned. "Don't shout at me." Jimmy raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not," he said.
"Ugh… where's Cas?" Balthazar asked.
"Cas is at work," Jimmy said. "Want to listen?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned on the radio, already programmed on Castiel's channel. Balthazar groaned as he heard the static and then Castiel's voice as the static cleared itself up.
"Fate has a funny way about her. I'm sure you've heard of the saying Fate strikes when you least expect it. Yes, that is the correct expression. I had one of the interns check, that's what they're here for after all. Anyways, I went to a bar with my brother and my best friend. Fate decided to strike.
"Remember when I said don't meet your one night stand again? Well, I met him again. In a bathroom, at the bar. I gave him my number and went back to my brother and best friend. Said best friend decided to drag me over to my one night stand's brother and kiss him. His line? He was drunk,"
"He says that like it's a bad thing," Balthazar smirked. Jimmy responded by turning up the volume, making Balthazar try and bury his head in a pillow.
My cousin just happened to… be out with the brother and punched my best friend,"
"I got punched by Gabriel?" Balthazar frowned.
"You'll be walking around with a black eye for awhile. Gabriel may be small but he punches hard," Jimmy smirked.
"This is why you're not my favorite twin," Balthazar said.
"This is why you're not my best friend," Jimmy said.
"Your bedside manner sucks," Balthazar huffed.
"And Cas's is any better?" Jimmy asked dryly.
"Oh, and I just got a text… I think I got a text," Castiel said. Jimmy and Balthazar rolled their eyes. "My car is ready. I have to go meet my one night stand in a few hours. Fate, radio listeners, is a cruel mistress."
"Hey, you're on the air with Dean Winchester. So last night I went to a bar with my brother so he could meet his client- he's not a stripper but anyone who calls his phone and asks him to do some kinky shit, I'll give them ten bucks- and I've known the bartender since she was in diapers. Hey, don't look at me like you want to kill me, Jo- okay, okay, training bras! She was in training bras- oh, fine, she's my assistant here. Just don't punch me again…
"Anyways, I'm at her mom's bar and I go to the bathroom. I run into my one night stand. Again. Come on, I don't believe in fate and destiny and all that crap but I have to meet the guy. Again. So this time, we plan to avoid meeting by fate and he gives me his number. I think it's all good and I go back out. I'm feeling good, got a hot dude's number, I'm feeling pretty damn fine. I have myself a few beers and then the next thing I know is the dude's friend is kissing my brother and he's shoved my one night stand into my arms, like I'm some kind of knight in shining armor- dude's got a tight ass, in case you're interested.
"So my brother's midget client gets pissed off and decides to be my brother's knight in shining armor and punches my one night stand's friend, who was already pretty drunk. So when you punch a drunk guy, he usually goes into la la land which is what happened. My brother's got game, well he'd better, since he's my brother."
"Then the dude's twin brother came over and revealed my brother's client is their cousin. Then my one night stand denied being related to the midget in a way that you pretend not to know a person when they do something embarrassing. Hey, if you'd met the midget you'd be denying you knew him too. The poor guy's related to him.
"Oh, then my one night pulls a freaking Clark Kent and throws his best friend over his shoulder and walks just fine, as if he hadn't been drinking a- Jo what was he drinking? Sex on the beach. Right. Why's my phone ringing? I- aw, crap. I have to meet him today because he has to pick up his car.
"Fate's a bitch,"