Hello all, as some of you will probably know already I'm not one to put comments in the middle of my stories, normally preferring to do so at the beginning/end, however due to the amount of support for this story I'd just like to say thanks to everyone for reading and for the great reviews. This is definitely my most popular piece to date and I hope you are all having as much fun reading it as I am writing it. I only ever really have a vague plan when I start to write something, so Maker knows where this story will end up :P...but anyway, here is the latest update ;) Enjoy!

Hawke was imprisoned in the brig for another three months, with Isabela leaving the day after their little cell encounter. Three months for a murder was pretty small. Lana had a feeling Aveline had pulled a few strings to get her sentence lessened. The Templars usually weren't so lenient with murderers, especially when it came to the death of one of their own. The isolation in the brig gave Hawke endless hours of inescapable contemplation...even though she would have preferred to drown herself in alcohol, find a nice piece of ass and work through her problems in a more pleasurable way. As it was, the brig wasn't in the business of supplying booze or broads to prisoners (no matter how much Lana tired to convince Aveline it was a good idea). Maker, half these cells were filled with rambunctious women who could probably suck the nails out of a hardwood floor. The thought made Hawke's toes curl. She couldn't stand this type of sobriety. Blight! Why didn't she just let Isabela bend her backwards over the wooden table and take her there and then? Common sense was a real bitch! Why couldn't she just have done the wrong thing for a change...literally! If she had known then how long she would have to spend in this shithole, would she have let the pirate have her way with her? Lana tried not to keep second guessing the whole situation between the two of them. She had made her decision, and no matter what her sex-deprived mind was telling her, it was the right one.

The sexual frustration continued to wear Lana down as the weeks passed. Some nights, as she lay on the hard stone floor with nothing more than a paper-thin mattress and a dirty, stained sheet, she would close her eyes and allow her hand to slip down her body and slide under the waistband of her pants to ease the throbbing ache below. Her mind would flash back to that windmill in Lothering, remembering the taste of that forbidden fruit she had savoured all those years ago. Her mouth still watered at the thought. Maker bless Sister Leliana and that magical touch of hers! What Lana wouldn't give to feel the woman's lips on hers once more, the slender fingers stroking slowly along her skin, sliding up the inside of her leg before-

"SERAH HAWKE!"

Lana jumped from her slumber and sat up. For the love of Andraste why did someone always wake her when she was dreaming of Leliana? It was so bloody unfair! Realising she had fallen asleep with her hand still down her pants, Lana quickly and discreetly removed it before turning to the cell door. A Guardsman was fiddling with the keys in the lock.

"What's going on?" Lana asked getting to her feet. Her body was permanently stiff from how uncomfortable she'd been for the past few months sleeping rough. She groaned like an old woman, finally managing to raise herself off the floor. The Guard held the cell door wide open and waited expectantly.

"You're free to go, Serah," he said, "The Captain would like to see you before you depart. She's in her office."

"Aww blast! I was just getting used to this place," Hawke joked, feeling suddenly light-hearted at the good news. She exhaled and exited the cell, finally a free woman.

Aveline brought Lana up to date with the recent goings on in the city and informed her there was still no word of Bethany's fate, though the Guardswoman was keeping an ear out. Hawke knew that the numerous mages in the Circle would no doubt be suffering the brunt of the Templar fury, her sister probably among them. She felt extremely guilty, knowing that it was her fault. But what was she supposed to have done? Let her sister be trailed to the Gallows and not even bat an eyelash? Bethany had been her best friend since they were little. She had reacted instinctively, seeing her in Templar hands and now others were going to pay the price for her actions.

The whole time she had been imprisoned, Lana had killed Anders a hundred times over in her mind, each way more painful and torturous than the last. The Guard Captain had warned her off though, threatening her with another month inside if she did anything remotely life-altering to the mage.

"I mean it Hawke," Aveline said sternly, point her finger at her in warming. She had just handed Hawke a chest full of the first instalment of gold from her Deep Roads earnings (courtesy of Varric) and was now going to lecture her no doubt. The redhead never could resist a good telling-off. "I don't want to see you back here in a few days for a second murder."

"What about torture?" Lana asked, smiling cheekily. The Guardswoman glared at her for not taking this seriously. "Assault?... Can I at least give Anders another kick in the balls?"

Aveline got to her feet and leaned over the large wooden desk. "Not funny, Hawke. Just stay away from him," she scolded, unimpressed with her jokes. At least she hoped they were jokes. "Don't think I won't put you away for another month. Promise me you won't go looking for trouble."

"Trouble usually finds me, Aveline. You know that," Hawke said, smirking still.

"Hawke..." Aveline warned through gritted teeth, "Promise."

"But-"

"Promise me!" the Captain implored, giving Lana that 'don't-mess-with- me' look. Maker, the redhead was scary sometimes. Hawke scanned the Guardswoman's arms of steel and came to the conclusion that she never wanted to find herself in a headlock by her. She groaned in defeat.

"Oh all right!" she relented.

"Say it!" Aveline pressed

"Oh come on-"

"Say it!"

Lana exhaled. Andraste's ass, Aveline wasn't taking any chances.

"Fine," Hawke said grumpily, "I promise I won't beat Anders to a pulp and strangle him with his own entrails."

Aveline rolled her eyes. She knew that was as good a promise as she was going to get. She went back to her desk full of paper work then, and Lana took it as her cue to leave. Ah, that sweet sense of freedom! How she'd missed it! A heavy chest of gold and a lighted heart. I wonder how long they will last.

Although Hawke had promised Aveline she would leave Anders be, she couldn't help searching for a loop-hole which would permit her to flay him alive. If the mage knew what was good for him, he would stay out of her face. She didn't need another excuse to break it.

As much as she longed for a pint in The Hanged Man, she decided it would be best to check in on her mother. After all this chest of coin was for the Estate, and Lana couldn't really see herself living there now with out Bethany in the picture. It had been her sister and her mothers dream, not hers. Leandra would no doubt be in pieces over losing Bethany (and be in dire need someone to blame no doubt). Hawke wondered why she continuously went back to the woman. Was she just a sucker for punishment? Maybe Isabela was right. But just because her mother had stopped loving her didn't mean that Lana could just switch off her feelings as well. Family was the most important thing to her, even if her family didn't actually include her. Leandra could disown her daughter all she wanted but Lana would use every last ounce of strength she had to prove she wasn't a failure. She didn't know whether that would be enough though. Her strength was already running dangerously low. How much could a person be stretched before they snapped? Now that Bethany was gone there were only two Hawke's left. The once happy family was rotting away into nothing. Could something be saved if it is already in the process of self-destructing?

Hawke hesitated outside the door of Gamlen's home. She took a few deep breaths, steeling herself for what awaited her inside. Why do I keep doing this to myself? There was nothing to stop her from simply turning her back on all of this shit and having that long-awaited pint in The Hanged Man with Isabela and Varric. Leandra didn't even come to visit her in the brig all those months. Why should she care about a woman who clearly didn't give a damn about her? Maker's Breath, I can't deal with this anymore. Please...someone just tell me what to do!

As soon as the words entered Lana's head, the front door opened. Lana looked up in surprise. She was now standing face to face with her mother. A lump formed in her throat.

"Lana..."

Lana couldn't find her voice. She was breathing heavily, caught in two minds whether to run, or to stand there and take what ever her mother threw at her this time. What should she do? A moment of silence passed between them. Leandra's face was wrecked with grief. She still had that look in her eye that Lana couldn't stand. Hawke shook her head then, realising that she just didn't have the strength to carry her mother's burdens any more. She placed the chest of gold on the ground at Leandra's feet and turned her back on her, walking away without a word.

"Lana..."

Her mother's voice was louder this time, forcing Hawke to a halt. She paused, her foot faltering at the top step. Please...I can't do this anymore. I'm finished. She heard soft footsteps behind her. A gentle hand then placed itself on her shoulder. Lana closed her eyes and shook her head. She couldn't turn back.

"Lana, look at me..."

Reluctantly, Lana spun slowly to stare back at her mother's tortured expression. Leandra gazed at her with sad eyes. Then she did something Hawke didn't expect. She opened her arms wide and pulled her eldest daughter into an embrace, holding her tightly against her chest like she did when Lana she was little. Hawke froze. She couldn't even lift her arms to hug her back, but leaned against her mother's chest, feeling her strong arms around her, and tried to come to terms with the first sign of affection her mother had shown towards her in over two years. She had no words.

After a few minutes (or was it hours?) Leandra finally pulled back. She took Lana's face in her hands and stared down at her daughter, seeing the pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Leandra said sincerely, "I'm so sorry, my love..."

Lana's eyes filled with tears as she stared up at her mother. She still couldn't find anything to say.

"I've hurt you, Lana, I know, " Leandra continued, a tear falling down her cheek, "I have blamed you for everything that's happened these past two years...and now Bethany's gone too..."

Hawke pealed her mother's hands away from her face then and took a step back. She shook her head then. "Don't you dare pin that on me." Her voice was shaking with anger that she couldn't control. "Don't you dare..."

Leandra shook her head quickly then and took a step towards Lana again, "I'm not, I swear! That wasn't your fault, Lana. If anything it was mine...I was the one who asked you to leave her behind."

Hawke was stunned. She couldn't believe her mother had finally admitted to having done wrong. Leandra had finally taken the blame for something instead of passing in onto her eldest. But there was still judgement in her eyes.

"However you still blame me for Carver?" Lana asked. Leandra didn't reply. She saw the truth on her face laughed bitterly and turned away, beginning to walk down the steps. Enough was enough.

"Lana wait!" Leandra called.

Fuming, Lana turned back to her for the last time. Leandra walked down the steps towards her. She withdrew a letter from her pocket at handed it to her.

"What is this?" Lana asked harshly, holding it limply.

"It's the deed to the Estate," Leandra said, "The Viscount has allowed us to reclaim it."

Hawke took a glance at the envelope and passed it back to her mother in disgust. "I don't want it," she said bitterly. Leandra pushed the letter back towards her.

"There's a letter from Bethany inside there as well. It's addressed to you."

Lana's heart warmed. She tore open the envelope at once and pulled out the smaller piece of parchment. Her little sister's handwriting almost jumped off the page towards her. Each word was like one burden lessened off her shoulders, a gentle embrace from the person she cared most about in the world.

Dearest Sister,

I hope this letter finds you well. I miss you more than you know. My time in the Circle has been bearable, even though the Templars made a point of putting me through the Harrowing as soon as I arrived. Knight Captain Cullen has been very kind to me. He's a nice man...for a Templar. I'm doing fine so please don't worry about me!

I'm sorry for how this all worked out. I know you warned me that working with Anders was dangerous but I felt I had to make the decision by myself. I'm not a child any longer, even though it may be hard for you to realise it. You'll always be my big sister no matter how old I am, and I guess that's something I'll just have to live with.

Don't be sad. Even if we can't see each other anymore, I'm not that far away. Take care of mother. She needs you now more than ever. I know that's asking a lot considering how harshly she has treated you, but please do this for me. I'll rest easier knowing she is safe.

Take care of yourself (and stop drinking so much!)

With love,

Bethany

Lana read the letter several times over, smiling to herself. Maker, she missed her sister so much it physically hurt! Leandra smiled as she watched Lana's expression. She hadn't read the letter but could tell it was good news. Lana looked up at her mother then. As much as this was going to kill her she had to try, for Bethany's sake.

"I'll meet with the Viscount tomorrow and buy you the Estate back," she said. Her mother smiled at her.

"And you'll come to live with me in it?" Leandra asked. Lana hesitated.

"I don't know," she said with a sigh. "I need time, Mother...A lot has been said and done... And I just don't think I have any more fight left in me."

Leandra reached out and placed a hand on Hawke's arm. "Then let's not fight anymore...Let's just move on...start a new life together."

Lana exhaled. This was a lot to take in all at once. "I...I..."

"Take as much time as you need, darling," Leandra said gently, "I'll be here."

Her mother leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. Maker she seemed to have changed overnight! Am I dreaming? After several seconds Lana shook her head, trying to regain herself. This whole thing had just messed with her head over and over. When would it end?

"I'm going for a drink..." She had only been in her mothers company for ten minutes and it was already too much to take.

"You only just got back!" Leandra called after her. "Where are you going?"

"The Hanged Man, Mother. Don't worry about me." Hawke called over her shoulder.

She walked around Lowtown for a while, trying to clear her head. It seemed like she was going to get no peace at all today. Between Aveline's lecture and her mother's new-found desire to rebuild their broken relationship, Hawke felt like her head was going to explode. There was only one cure for that: A large bottle of Whiskey and a few games of Diamondback. Hawke rounded a corner near the Alienage, still lost in thought and walked straight into someone, knocking them to the ground.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry, I...Merrill?"

The elf lay flat on her back, looking shaken and disoriented from the fall. Hawke reached out her hand and helped her to her feet, trying not to laugh. "What are you doing out at this hour? It's dangerous to walk these streets alone."

"Oh hello, Hawke. I-I got lost. I was using the ball of twine which Varric gave me to find my way back but-but someone cut it and...well, now I don't know where I am." She squeaked. "I'm so happy to bump into you-well not actually bump into you, I mean-I'm so happy to see you...I'm babbling aren't I?"

This time Hawke could not hold in her laugh. She looked down and Merrill's other hand to see the remains of her ball of twine.

"Merrill, your house is right around this corner. You're almost home." Hawke said chuckling. "Come on, I'll walk you back."

"El'gernahn! I've been walking in circles this whole time? The streets all look the same in the dark," she said, following Hawke through Lowtown. Within a couple of minutes they had reached Merrill's little, run-down home. It made Gamlen's shack look like a palace in comparison.

"Here you are, Merrill," Hawke said kindly, standing outside her house. "Back safe and sound."

"Thank you so much, Hawke. Do you want to come in? I have...water."

Hawke chuckled again. "It's fine Merrill. I definitely need something stronger than water, the day I've had! And I've been locked up for three months. The tavern is calling me. I'll come and see you tomorrow though, if you like."

"Oh please do! I missed you while you were in prison," she said walking into her house, "See you Hawke. And thank you again!"

"Well, well, someone finally let the Hawke out of its cage!"

"A jigger of your finest for my friend over here!"

Hawke smiled at Varric and Isabela and seated herself beside them. She exhaled, right back where she belonged: The Hanged Man. Sorry Bethany, but I deserve a little drink after everything. Varric clapped her on the back.

"How are you holding up?" he asked, "Did Aveline rough you up in the brig?"

"I spent the majority of my time wet," Hawke replied.

"You're not the only one," Isabela said, smirking cheekily. She placed the drink in front of Lana and gave her a wink, both women remembering their brief tumble in the cell (the first one particularly).

"Ho! I'm sensing a story here!" the dwarf said excitedly, seeing that sly look on each woman's face. That only meant one thing where Isabela and Hawke were concerned. Lana laughed and helped herself to Isabela's bottle of port.

"Oh, it was nothing, Varric," The Rivaini said, waving her hand, "Hawke punched me in the face but it turns out she's not as good a fighter as you might think."

"Didn't stop you from hitting the deck though did it?" Hawke teased.

"I did get on top eventually," Isabela said with a chuckle, "Sore ribs?"

"Sore everything," Hawke moaned, making the other two laugh. She took a long drink, straight from the bottle. Ah Maker! How she would love one of Isabela's massages right now. Lana quivered just thinking about it. But she had closed that door for herself. And it was a door best left locked.

"So is my coin safe or not?" Varric asked, "Isabela's been trying to wrangle these two damn sovereigns out of me for a while now. The only way I'm going to hand it over is if I hear the words directly from Hawke's mouth."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Been telling fibs about me again, Bela?"

"Oh, Hawke, you're going to have sex with me eventually," Isabela replied, grinning, "I'm just trying to get Varric to give me an advance on my winnings."

"Whatever," Lana said, "We've had this discussion already, Bela."

"Oh I know, Sweet thing. But we never got to finish," Isabela reached across the table and ran her hand up Hawke's arm. "I had a point...and I had just put my finger on it...Then you interrupted me."

Lana shuddered. She knew exactly what 'point' Isabela had put her finger on. The memory of it made Hawke moist a little. Isabela's smirk was getting wider, seeing the effect her words had, reflect on Lana's face. Andraste's Ass! She must do a better job of controlling her facial expressions. Especially now, after she had told Isabela they were never going to happen. The Rivaini bit her lip, her eyes tracing over the shape of Hawke's breasts under her shirt. Maker, what she wouldn't give to grab a handful of those again.

"Stop staring at my breasts, Bela!" Lana said, crossing her arms to cover them. Isabela giggled.

"Oh Hawke I've already done so much more than stare...Or don't you remember?"

Hawke cursed inwardly. Isabela now knew her reasons for stopping whatever this was between them from going any further, but she clearly didn't care. The pirate was still going to come after her, selfish or not.

"Don't you?" Lana countered, referring to her (eventual) rejection of Isabela's advances back in the cell. Varric looked on, confused. He had never heard them speak so seriously before. There was a hint of a joke still left in their words...but only a hint. Isabela's smile faltered as she realised Lana was reluctant to play their games any more. The woman must have really meant what she said back in the cell.

The Rivaini didn't care though. Hawke could think she knew her all she wanted. But maybe if the woman gave her a chance then she'd find something worth sticking around for, rather than taking off on a ship the first opportunity she got. Lana was scared though, and to be honest Isabela couldn't blame her. The pirate was already aware she had a tendency for hurting people. That was the reason she never went past a certain point in relationships (that point being the bedroom). She enjoyed Lana's company and had never desired anyone more in her life, but how deep that desire went was unclear, and skin deep was all Isabela was looking for.

"I do remember," the pirate replied eventually. The cheeky smirk appeared on her face once more. "But I didn't say it would stop me from trying..."