Isabela opened her eyes, confused. Her surroundings were in total darkness, all except for the faint glow of the moon shining through the open window behind her and illuminating a few discarded scrolls upon the mantle-piece. The heavy red velvet curtains were blowing eerily in the wind and a wolf was howling somewhere in the distance. The pirate shivered and pulled the heavy covers up around her, feeling a little exposed. Regaining her bearings she realised that she was still in Hawke's Estate, having spent another amazing night with the woman. It was only their second as a couple and already she was wondering how she ever slept alone on cold nights such as this one.
Smiling to herself she rolled over, hoping to see Lana sleeping peacefully beside her...but she was gone. Isabela jumped up at once and glanced around the room. The bedroom door was lying open, the lanterns from the hallway flickering dimly. Feeling uneasy, the pirate pulled the lighter sheet around her and got to her feet, bringing it with her to cover her nakedness. She crept out of the bedroom and into the semi-dark landing, hearing her bare footsteps on the cold floor. There was no one around. Feeling slightly worried now, Isabela began to descend the stairs, wondering why Lana would up and leave her in the middle of the night like this. Maybe I should have grabbed my daggers.
Seeing nothing in the study to the right of the stairs, the pirate began to walk towards the front door when suddenly her eyes found Hawke. The woman was sitting at her table in her red robe, slouched over and sleeping soundly on top of a few opened letters. There she is...But what's she doing up at this hour? Isabela walked towards her. She noticed there was a piece of parchment crumpled up in Lana's fist. Curious the Rivaini leaned over and slipped it out of her weak grasp. She unfolded it and straightened it out, holding the letter over a nearby candle, and began to read:
Lana,
I understand that you are angry with me, and I suppose I deserve it. I haven't been a very good sister these past few years, but I'm begging you, please reply to me. I've sent you so many letters and I've heard nothing back. It's very lonely here in the Circle and I know I put on a brave face when last we met, but that was just because I was angry. As it turns out, I had no reason to be.
I'm so sorry, Sister. I shouldn't have blamed you for everything that has happened to our family. I yelled at Mother when she did it and now look at me, I'm doing the same thing. Let's just say I needed help to realise that everyone is responsible for their own actions, me included. You are the only one who has been there for me and I have acted like an ungrateful child despite your best efforts to keep me out of trouble.
Being here alone, with only my thoughts for company, has made me bitter and I took it out on you. I understand if you never want to speak to me again but, Maker, I beg you to give me another chance. We used to be so close. It pains me now to think of how we have changed over the years and how much of it is my fault. This isn't how I imagined life in Kirkwall would be. That damn Blight took so much more than just our homeland... It tore us apart.
I received a letter from Sister Leliana a few days ago. She apologised for having deceived me back in Lothering and began a relationship with you behind my back, if that's indeed what it was. But her main reason for writing was to hint that she is using her contacts among the Templars to protect me and shield me from Meredith's gaze. I always did like her. The situation in the Circle is unstable and it helps to know that there are a few more pairs of eyes looking out for me. She reminds me of you in a way, always showing compassion where others would not. I hope that knowing I'm safe will make you rest easier, that is if you still care about me at all after the way I have treated you.
I miss you Sister, more than I can ever explain. Please don't ignore me again, I'm begging you. I have a lot of making up to do for how I have acted over the years and I do hope that you will find it in your heart to forgive me.
With love,
Bethany.
Isabela stared at the crumpled letter, then down at Hawke and gave her a sympathetic smile. With a quick scan across the table she noticed that all the open letters strewn across it were actually from Bethany, some dating back months ago after the trip to Chateau Haine. There were empty envelopes all over the floor, bearing the seal of the Circle. Balls, she must have opened them all tonight, the pirate realised. Hawke had clearly been avoiding them for a while.
Isabela threw the wrinkled letter back onto the desk and picked up a few of the others. Each one gave inside information on goings-on in the Circle and at the end begged Lana to reply, getting more and more pleading as they became more recent. She could see the smudged handwriting in places where Bethany's tears had fallen onto the parchment as she wrote. Or maybe they're Hawke's.
Sighing, the pirate threw the letters back onto the table and hunched down beside her. She brushed Lana's hair out of her face and stroked her cheek softly, hearing her long, even breaths as she slept. Why do you do this to yourself, Hawke? she thought, knowing that the growing amount of unopened letters must have been eating away at her conscience for months. The woman flinched in her sleep, her eyelids dancing as she dreamt.
"...No..." she moaned, suddenly, shaking her head where she lay. "...No...Don't...I don't want..."
"Hawke?" Isabela said gently, still stroking her face.
"...Can't...Don't make me..."
"Hawke," Isabela repeated, a little louder this time.
Hawke's eyes finally opened. They darted around momentarily, groggy and confused, then found Isabela's amber ones staring back at her worriedly.
"Isabela...?"
"You fell asleep, Sweetness," the pirate whispered, smiling at her, "Come on, let's get you up."
Lana straightened in her chair, feeling stiff from the angle she had been sitting, and allowed the pirate to pull her to her feet. Isabela tucked her sheet around her keeping it in place and held Hawke's sides, directing her over to the staircase and up to the landing above. She pushed open the bedroom door and led them inside, closing it tightly behind her and walking a still-half-asleep Lana over to the bed. Hawke felt her robe being slipped off and warm hands helping her under the heavy cover. Isabela then dropped the light sheet to the floor and climbed in behind her, shivering slightly. She pressed herself up behind Lana and ran a hand along her side, then kissed her on the shoulder.
"Hawke?"
Hawke turned to her and Isabela wrapped her arm around her, drawing her in close until their foreheads were touching. She caressed the woman's scarred back with her hand.
"Are you alright?" she asked in a whisper, staring into her eyes in the semi-darkness.
Hawke said nothing and simply leaned in to kiss her. She sighed, resting her head against the pirate's, feeling her soothing light fingers caress her back. Then, without uttering another sound, she closed her eyes and fell back into a deep sleep.
The next morning Lana woke to the sound of birds chirping. She groaned sleepily and rolled over, stretching her arm across the massive bed, finding it empty. The sheets were crumpled but cold. Isabela stood a few metres away with her back to her, leaning on the windowsill, her long white shirt blowing loosely in the slight breeze, accentuating her fantastic figure. Hawke smiled to herself then, after a moment of admiring the view, straightened up, pulling back the covers and walked over to join her. She pressed her naked self up against the woman's back and slid her arms around her waist, leaning her chin on the pirate's shoulder. Isabela's hand touched her arm.
"Good morning," Hawke greeted her, smirking, "I see you found my pipe."
Isabela breathed out a cloud of smoke and chuckled, holding the wooden pipe in her hand. A pack of matches rested on the windowsill in front of her.
"And your tobacco," she confessed, leaning her head against Lana's. "It's not actually that bad. Where's it from?"
"Antiva most likely," Hawke replied, smelling it in the air, "I found it on the corpse of a mercenary a few days ago. He didn't seem like he needed it anymore so I relieved him of it. I haven't had the pleasure of trying it yet though."
Isabela laughed. She held the pipe up to her mouth and took a long puff before turning her head to Hawke and bringing her lips to hers. Lana breathed in the smoke as they kissed momentarily and pulled back, breathing it out.
"Mmm, not bad at all...Though it tastes more Rivaini than Antivan," she joked.
"You would know," Isabela replied with a smirk. Hawke sniggered and rested her chin back on the pirate's shoulder, tightening her arms around her midsection. They both gazed out at the bustling Hightown, full of early morning shoppers attending the market stalls below and greeting each other excitedly in the street. It was a beautiful day, despite the bitter coldness of the night before. The sun was shining brightly in the sky as Lana held Isabela close, resting their heads together and breathing contentedly.
"How did you sleep?" Isabela asked after several minutes as they watched Kirkwall come to life below them. It was an innocent question but Hawke knew there was intent behind it, remembering being led back up to bed by her after she had succumbed to the guilt of ignoring Bethany's many letters and finally read through them all one after the other.
"I...fine," she replied shyly, not knowing how to answer. The pirate took another puff of the pipe and held it up to Lana, who did the same.
"You don't have to lie, Sweetness," she said, exhaling the smoke and watching it drift out of the window, followed closely by Hawke's.
Hawke hesitated. "Who said I was?"
Isabela placed the pipe on the ledge and slid around to face her. She kissed her on the lips then brushed back a lock of Lana's dark brown hair and sighed. There were dark rings under her eyes.
"You did," she revealed, caressing her cheek, "You were talking in your sleep almost the whole night, Hawke."
"Before or after-"
"After," Isabela interrupted, knowing she was referring to before or after she had found her asleep downstairs surrounded by Bethany's letters. "I know you didn't sleep at all beforehand. You were tossing and turning for hours."
Lana swallowed over the lump in her throat. Last night had been a bad one. She had a habit of talking in her sleep, and it bothered her greatly.
"Oh..." she said uncomfortably, not knowing how to reply. "And...what did I...?"
"...Say?" Isabela finished, "Bethany...You mentioned her a few times during the night...and you kept saying 'no' about something."
Hawke exhaled and her hands slowly dropped from Isabela's waist. Her face fell and she turned away, causing the pirate's hand to slide from her cheek.
"Hawke don't do that," Isabela pleaded, regretting the warmth of the woman's body leaving her as she walked away and put on her robe
"Do what?" Lana asked, not looking at her. She couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at the vulnerable position she was found in last night. She wasn't used to people coming to check up on her. Maybe it's not just Isabela who has to learn how to be in a relationship, Hawke thought miserably. She was never any good at opening up to people herself. Sharing her problems made her feel like she was admitting to having them, and that made her feel weak.
"Don't distance yourself from me," the pirate said, frowning. Hawke glanced at her, smirking as best she could.
"I thought you didn't like to interfere in other people's business," she joked, tying the belt of her robe. Isabela pushed off the window-ledge and walked towards her, not fooled by her jokes. She reached out and took Hawke's hands in hers.
"I don't," she admitted, staring into her eyes, "I really couldn't give a damn about other people's issues...But you're not 'other people' to me, Hawke. You're more than that...much more...So if something's bothering you then I want you to tell me about it. Forget that bullshit that I said years ago."
Hawke chuckled a little and let her guard down. She leaned in and kissed Isabela on the lips.
"Softie," she teased, her face hovering inches from the pirate's. Isabela rolled her eyes.
"If you keep calling me that then I will hit you," she breathed, lacing a hand on her lower back and suddenly pulling her closer. She ran a threatening finger along Hawke's throat, feeling her heart beat quicken from the sudden movement. "I'm trying my best here, Sweetness...This relationship bollocks is hard work."
Hawke chuckled again, feeling the pirate's warm breath on her face. "Two days and you're already giving up?" she joked, nibbling at the pirate's lower lip teasingly.
Isabela groaned with longing and shook her head slowly, playing with Hawke's hand in hers. "I'm never going to give up," she said earnestly. Lana was taken aback by the strength of her words.
"Well that's good to hear," she whispered, her heart warming as her chest pressed against Isabela's, "I'd hate to see us throw this away after how long it's taken to get here."
"That's not going to happen, Hawke," Isabela said, brushing her lips against hers reassuringly. "So spill it."
They pulled apart then as Hawke released her once more and walked back to the windowsill, picking up the still smoking pipe. She took another puff and stared out at The Wounded Coast in the distance.
"I'm still getting used to this sharing thing, Bela. Not to mention hearing you say things like that," she admitted. Isabela laughed and followed her, pressing herself against her back as Lana had done earlier and holding her close.
"It sounds a little strange doesn't it?" she replied, following her gaze out into the distance. "I don't think I even spoke like this when I was married. He was a greasy bastard though, and you're much better in bed."
They both laughed.
"I should like to think so," Hawke replied. "A woman's touch is always better than a man's."
"Oh, Hawke, like you would know. You've only been with one man," Isabela teased.
"That's kind of my point," Lana joked, "Don't you think if it was better I would have went back for more?"
Isabela laughed, "All right, I'll give you that one."
They stood in silence for several minutes, hearing the shouts of the market vendors below, advertising a variety of goods for sale.
"Did you love him?" Hawke asked gently, suddenly curious. Isabela snorted and took the pipe out of Lana's hands, taking a draw herself and handing it back.
"Hardly..." she said, exhaling a plume of smoke, "I was only in love once, before you, and that was after my dear sweet husband's head got redecorated with a blade...I'm not even sure if it was in fact love, but it sure felt like it at the time. That's why I ran for it."
"I remember you telling me this before," Lana said, running her free hand up Isabela's bare arm which was resting along her midsection. "Back when I first told you I was falling in love with you..."
"I was an idiot back then, Hawke," Isabela admitted, still hearing some hurt in the woman's tone at her rejection all those years ago. "I didn't even realise that I was in love with you too. If I had of, it would have saved us both a few years of torture."
They both sighed and thought back, silently cursing their bad luck.
"Just promise me something, Hawke..."
She took the pipe from her and set it on the windowsill. Lana turned to her right and looked into her eyes, waiting. The pirate stared at her intently.
"...promise me you'll write to Bethany."
Hawke's expression became stony again. She turned away once more, uncomfortable, and slid out of Isabela's arms, making her way to the bedroom door. The pirate grabbed her arm and stopped her before she could take more than a few steps.
"She misses you, Hawke," Isabela pressed, as Lana stared at the floor avoiding her gaze. She scuffed her foot along the ground, saying nothing. "And I know you miss her too." The pirate finished.
Hawke was shaking her head. The pirate could see a muscle flex in her jaw, either through anger or hurt (or maybe both).
"I don't," she replied firmly, pulling out of Isabela's grip and beginning to walk away again. "I don't miss her and I never want to see her again, Bela! So can you just drop this?"
"Hey!" Isabela said, blocking her once more, noticing her hostility. She put her hand on Lana's cheek and forced her to look at her. There were angry tears forming in her chocolate-brown eyes as she stared back at her. The pirate's words caught in her throat momentarily. "Look I...I know you don't want to talk about this right now, and I'm sorry for bringing it up, but...Just...Just think about it alright?"
They stared at each other for several seconds before Lana's facial features loosened a little and she nodded slightly. Isabela gave her a small smile and kissed her deeply before reluctantly letting her go and watching her walk to the water closet.
"Look at us, civilised ladies eating breakfast out of fine dishes and pearl encrusted cutlery while being waited on by our manservant. I'd have never believed it!"
Hawke choked on her bread, laughing as Isabela sniggered and bewilderedly examined the extravagant breakfast laid out before her. They were sitting facing each other at Hawke's dining table as Bodhan waited on them with a delighted smile on his face.
"I trust all in to your liking, Serahs?" he asked happily, filling their goblets of wine.
"Of course, Bodhan," Lana replied, still chuckling, "I think the pirate whore has just never had such good service."
The three of them laughed as the dwarf laid out some baskets of bread for them.
"Oh, on the contrary, Sweetness, I'm used to getting a great service," Isabela replied, her eyes flashing cheekily. Hawke chuckled, grasping her meaning, and felt the pirate's leg brush up against hers under the table. Bodhan's face flushed a deep red.
"Yes, well," he spluttered, "Just...let me know if there's anything else you need, my dears. I'll...I'll be in the scullery. I think...I think I hear Sandal calling."
He bowed deeply before leaving them to it. The two women laughed, watching him scurry away to the non existent callings of Sandal.
"Aw, bless him," Isabela said smiling after the dwarf. "I'm sure it's a long time since he's had a good service, poor thing."
"Isabela!" Lana blurted out, seeing the pirate's wicked smile. She held up her hands in surrender.
"What?" she asked innocently, "I'm just saying. The only company he's had for all these years has been Sandal. He may need a different type of enchantment, if you catch my drift."
"I always catch your drift," Hawke boomed, causing the pirate to chuckle. "And I hope you're not suggesting what I think you are..."
"Haven't you ever been with a dwarf before?" Isabela asked, teasingly. Lana rolled her eyes and took a drink of her wine.
"He's my friend!" she replied, appalled. "And besides, you know I'm not into beards."
Isabela frowned.
"Eh, Hawke, there are dwarf women you know."
"I know," she agreed, "And the same rule applies...I'm just not into beards."
Isabela snorted as she made to take a sip of wine. They both began to laugh then. It was true that many dwarf women were often mistaken for dwarf men. They were very hairy little beings.
"Fair enough," the pirate said, when their laughing had subsided. "But maybe you can give the whole man thing another chance."
Lana rolled her eyes, "For the last time, Isabela. I like women! We are not having a threesome with a man."
"Not even if-"
"Not even if it's Zevran!" Hawke interrupted, knowing what she was going to say. Isabela rolled her eyes, throwing her a smirk.
"Oh, fine," she sang, helping herself to some soup and pretending she didn't care. "I guess I'll just have to find some other way to show you what you're missing."
"I can hardly wait," Lana replied sarcastically, having heard those words from the pirate the night before as well. Isabela chuckled and threw her a wink before lifting her bowl and spooning some soup into it, then passing it over.
"Thanks," Hawke replied, taking it from her.
"Anything for you, dear," the pirate replied, putting on her best voice and pompous manner. Lana rolled her eyes.
"You know just because we're eating at a table for a change and using proper cutlery doesn't mean you have to change your whole demeanour."
The pirate chuckled, "I know but I'm having fun teasing you...and besides, I can be classy when I need to be."
This time it was Lana's turn to laugh. "I'll believe it when I see it. Have you started wearing pants yet?" she joked. Isabela kicked her playfully under the table.
"Anyway..."the pirate continued, taking a mouthful of soup as Hawke rubbed her shin. "Plans for tonight?"
"Thinking of taking me out somewhere nice?" Lana teased, pretending to go all glassy-eyed. "Treating me like a girl has always wanted to be treated? I know this great little spot where all the ladies of the court go, hand in hand with their chivalrous, dashing, well-dressed men."
"Oh shut up, they'd have a fit if we showed up there," she joked, as Lana laughed. "You know what I mean, Hawke," she continued seriously now. Hawke stopped laughing then and her expression matched the Rivaini's.
"I'm still not sure this is a good idea, Bela," she replied, swallowing another mouthful of soup. The letter she had received from Kirkwall's Grand Cleric last night had been troubling indeed. Meeting with an Agent of The Divine didn't sound like something that she would remotely like to do, especially after the number of recent rebellious uprisings outside and within the Circle of Magi. This would no doubt be just as dangerous as walking into Knight-Commander Meredith's office herself. Why do I never get asked to do safer things, like rescuing kittens from trees or helping an old woman with her groceries? Lana thought to herself, sighing.
"Which is all the more reason why I should come with you!" the pirate insisted, feeling uneasy about letting her walk into inevitable danger on her own. Not that she can't handle herself...Balls, this relationship thing has brought out a whole other side to me: A protective one that I never knew I had.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Hawke asked, finishing the last of her soup. "You hate the Chantry!"
"But I love you!" the pirate reminded her, "And if some Chantry lunatic is leading you into a trap then Maker be bloody damned if you think I'm staying behind, Hawke!"
"But we don't know it is a trap, Bela!" Hawke replied worriedly. The pirate looked at her sceptically.
"Hawke, when have you ever gotten asked to do something that didn't result in us being trapped, ambushed or almost killed?" she asked.
Lana sighed. "Fair point," she relented.
"I'm coming with you," the pirate said firmly, reaching out over the table and grabbing her hand. Hawke gazed across at her and smiled, squeezing her fingers gently in hers.
"Good," she replied, smiling at her, "I'd hate to be locked up in a cell all by myself. What would I do with all that free time?"
Isabela chuckled. "Oh, I could think of a few things."
They both giggled.
"I'm sure Varric will want to come as well," Hawke said. Isabela gave her a wide grin.
"You mean-"
"I mean," Hawke interrupted, knowing where she was going with this. "Come with us to the rendezvous tonight with this Agent of The Divine...not come with us into the sex cell."
Isabela laughed. "Oh!" she said, looking rather disappointed. "I suppose he will. Who else should we take? The Big Girl? Kitten? The sexy, brooding elf with a talent for fisting?"
They both chuckled again.
"I'm coming!"
The two of them jumped and turned around to the doorway. Anders had just appeared and was looking slightly worse for wear. His fur robe was matted with blood, his face had numerous scrapes and he seemed ready to keel over from where he clawed at the door frame, trying to stay upright.
"Anders! What happened to you! Where have you been?" Lana said jumping to her feet. None of them had seen him in days. She led him over to a nearby chair and helped him be seated. Isabela hovered beside them, observing the mage's numerous cuts and seeing a thin line of perspiration along his forehead.
"The Templars..."Anders wheezed, out of breath, "They raided my clinic...attacked...I ran...before they could arrest me..."
"Maker's Breath!" Hawke exclaimed, sitting down opposite him. "How did they find you? Do you think someone talked?"
Anders nodded with rage in his eyes. "Someone definitely blabbed," he said furiously, "And...whoever did it...most likely knows everything..."
Everything. Hawke's blood ran cold. Bethany! She got to her feet and ran a hand through her hair, feeling suddenly stressed. Her sister had been passing information to them for months, using informants, naming names, reporting on Meredith's behaviour, even smuggling a few of the children out right under the Knight-Commander's nose for fear of them being caught up in the brewing trouble. It was likely now that the numerous protectors Anders had arranged for her had now defected and left her exposed, or turned their weapons on her when she wasn't expecting it. The Templars would no doubt know now of the information she had leaked to the resistance outside the Circle and the numerous other acts of defiance she had committed against them. She was now in danger.
"Oh no..."Lana breathed, realising just how serious this situation was becoming for them all. Her hand ran from her hair and fell over her mouth.
"Hawke," Isabela said soothingly, reaching out and stopping her from pacing. She touched her face and stared into her chocolate-brown eyes to see the frantic worry there. "She'll be fine, don't panic. She's a big girl."
"But the Templars!" Hawke shrieked, "They'll kill her, Bela! We don't have much time! We have to do something!"
"Sshhh," the pirate said, pulling her into a hug, "Don't worry about the Templars...Remember what Bethany said in her letter?"
Hawke's breath caught. She hadn't realised the Isabela had read them. She pulled back and looked up at her, questioningly.
"I read them last night," the pirate said slightly apologetically, "You had one in your hand when I found you. I was curious. Do you remember what it said?"
"Leliana..."
"Exactly," Isabela said, smiling down at her, "She's got people looking out for Bethany, protecting her from Meredith...So try not to worry, Sweetness. She's not completely alone."
Hawke exhaled and leaned back into Isabela's embrace, glad she had someone to hold her. She relaxed slightly, feeling the pirate kiss her head, and closed her eyes, seeing her sister's face appear in her mind. Despite their differences she had never wanted it to come to this. They were still family, no matter how broken that family was. Even though she couldn't stand the sight of her right now it didn't mean she wanted her to die. She's my little sister! I have to do something!
"I need your help, Hawke," Anders said, interrupting the tender moment between the two. "I cannot control Justice any longer...Whenever I see Templars I just...can't...I think I may have found a way to separate us."
"What do you need me to do?" Lana asked weakly, opening her eyes and glancing at him, her head still resting against the pirate's.
"I need you to help me collect some ingredients," he replied, not elaborating.
"Ingredients for what?" Isabela asked suspiciously. She had a feeling the mage was up to something. No one had had any contact with him in days and now all of a sudden he appears in the middle of Hawke's Estate, out of breath and covered in blood.
"A potion," Anders replied, not looking at the pirate, "The ingredients only grow in certain places and I will need your help to get there."
"Sounds easy enough," Hawke said, eyeing him suspiciously as well. "If that's all then you have my word...But you can't come with us tonight Anders, you're dead on your feet."
"But I have to...! I have to..."
"Have to what?" Isabela asked, seeing his eyes flash with rage. Anders ignored her question.
"Fine," he said, calming himself down, "Fine, I'll stay behind...But I'm afraid what I have to ask of you next, Hawke," he said, getting to his feet and walking over towards them both, "Isn't going to be as simple as the first."
Hawke released Isabela and turned to him, feeling the dread creep up inside her. This can't be good. As she looked into the mages eyes she saw then just how unhinged Anders seemed to be.
"And what is that?" she asked, waiting with baited breath.
Anders eyes burned with fury, with Justice raging behind them.
"You have to kill the Agent of The Divine at your meeting tonight."