Hey there you wonderful people! So sorry that I couldn't get this up sooner like I promised. Epic Fail. This chapter was a bitch to do and I'd rather make you wait for a good chapter than quickly toss you a crappy one. Hope you understand. I'd like to thank you all for your reviews and support, and the occassional person who yells at me for not updating fast enough lol.
Super-Ultra-Mega-Ginormous Thanks to KazeNoSakura! If it weren't for her, this chapter still wouldn't be anywhere close to done and up! She has given me wonderful advice, ideas, and helped correct my horrid grammar. A true friend. Be Grateful She Is Around!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
The foul smell of coffee entered my nose, disturbing my focus. Who would be making coffee anyway? It was a disgusting thing to drink and even the smell of it made me nauseous. I couldn't think straight with it stinking up the air. It was most likely Rukia who was making it, while her, Ichigo, and Dad were probably talking about what they should tell me.
I closed my eyes and rubbed my head. I had such a headache. No doubt a result of what I just saw a few hours ago. That or I hit my head when I passed out. I still couldn't believe it! How could I have done such a stupid, sissy, girly thing like fainting? Fainting was not something I did. I didn't cook, I didn't wear dresses or skirts, I never cried, and I most definitely didn't faint.
I resisted screaming out in frustration. Of course fainting shouldn't be my main focus at the moment. Looking back, everything that had happened in the past two months seemed like a long dream. The Spectacular Six, the pool party, the fair, everything. Everything that had to do with him. I pressed my hand to my face. God, I felt miserable. Just thinking about him made me want to scream and pull my hair out. My head was pounding, my back ached, my legs were numb, my stomach churned, and my lungs felt constricted. All because of him.
When I woke up not even five minutes ago, I almost thought it was just another dream. Things like this just didn't happen. This was real life, not some book or movie where the girl falls for the teenage supernatural.
But it happened.
Toushiro turned into a giant wolf.
I fell back onto my bed. Maybe I should have known all along. Not necessarily that he was a wolf, but that something was seriously off. With all these secrets and mysterious happenings going around, I should have expected something. For as long as I'd been trying to get an understanding of him, I should have been prepared for something big. But I never would have been prepared for something this big.
Still, now that I knew I couldn't help but feel how obvious it was. And if Toushiro could turn into a huge wolf, it was safe to say that Hinamori, Rangiku, Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika could too. Why else would they all be together so much? It explained why they were all so good at sports. Why they stayed in their own little pack. Why those five seniors were scared of someone as small as Toushiro. How he was fine after he fell from the rope climb. How Ikkaku didn't have a scratch on him after I hit him in the head with a brick.
One question was just eating away at me though. How? How was any of this possible? Just because I saw it with my own eyes didn't explain or resolve what happened.
My bedroom door slowly opened. Rukia walked in and looked at me sympathetically. I noticed she'd been giving me that look a lot since I started hanging out with Toushiro. She obviously saw this coming, and yet neither her nor Ichigo bothered to tell me about this. They simply ordered me around, expecting me to follow like some trained puppy. That thought just made me angrier because I could have avoided this mess if they had explained.
"Karin, how are you feeling?" she asked.
I glared at her and stood up. "Like shit." I deadpanned. "Please leave."
She sighed and quietly left, closing the door behind her. I quickly slipped my shoes on and headed to the window. I was going to get my answers from someone who hadn't bothered lying to me yet. Ichigo would probably answer my questions now, but I was too angry at him to even consider that right now.
Just as I opened the window, the door opened again. I froze. "Karin? What are you doing?"
I turned to Yuzu who was looking at me incredulously. "I need to talk to someone, so I'm going out." I didn't bother lying to her for two reasons: 1. I suck at lying and 2. even if by some miracle I did come up with a good lie, she'd still know I was lying.
Yuzu pouted and walked up to me. "But you fainted. You shouldn't be leaving the house."
"I didn't faint! I... just passed out." I defended to which she raised an eyebrow at me. "There's a difference."
"That doesn't matter, you still shouldn't be leaving the house." she insisted.
I placed my hands on her shoulders. "I'll be right back okay?" Whether she agreed or not wouldn't keep me from going. The moment she left I was going to leave.
She gave a sigh of resignation. "Fine. But if you're not back soon, I'm telling Dad, okay?"
I smiled at my twin. I could always count on her, or at this point only her. "Thanks Yuzu, you're the best."
Quietly, I climbed out the window and onto the garage roof next to it. From there I jumped down and took off running, not bothering to waste any time. Even if Yuzu didn't say anything, Dad and the others would notice I was gone pretty soon. The fact that Yuzu let me leave without much trouble meant she still didn't know anything about Ichigo or Toushiro. I wonder if I should tell her.
It didn't take me long before I reached my destination. The door had a 'closed' sign on it but when I pushed the door, it flew wide open. I cautiously stepped in, trying my best to keep quiet. But of course that attempt was failing due to the incredibly loud, creaking floors.
"Sorry, but since it appears you can't read, we're closed." a male voice said as a light flickered on. The only other person in the room was a cat. The same stupid black cat that stole my keys a few days ago. But the cat didn't just talk... right?
The familiar sound of clogs on wood entered my ears and the blonde man walked in from the back. I couldn't see his eyes due to his tacky stripped hat but he seemed to be smiling. "Well well, Miss Kurosaki, what a surprise." he said in the same lazy but goofy voice. "But not really. After what happened with Toushiro earlier today, I assumed you would be paying me a visit."
"How'd you know what happened?" I asked suspiciously. He was kind of shady and I still didn't really trust him too much. He gestured his hand to the black cat sitting on the counter. I raised an eyebrow at him. That cat told him? I wasn't even going to bother asking him about that. "It's Urahara, right?" He nodded. "So if you were expecting me, then you'll answer my questions."
He cocked his head to the side. "Just because I knew you would come doesn't mean I'm willing to tell you anything."
He was talking in circles. I didn't have time for his stupid games and I could see what he was trying to do. I put my hands on my hips. "Quit stalling. Either answer my questions now or I'm leaving."
Urahara sighed. "Then I guess I don't have a choice." He turned around and started to walk to the back of the store, behind the counter. I followed behind him while the cat dashed out the front door. He sat on a cushion behind a low standing table and gestured for me to do the same.
I sat on a cushion on the other side of the table, across from him. I felt a little anxious about having someone I barely knew answer my questions. I asked the first thing I wanted to know. "What is Toushiro?"
He fanned himself with his paper fan. "Why not ask about your brother first? Surely he's more important to you?"
"Does it really matter where I start my questions?" I asked impatiently. He was trying to buy time for something, I just didn't know what that was yet.
He gave me a grin that really pissed me off. "No, but its all connected. I think it would work better if-"
"Okay whatever! I'll start with Ichigo!" I cut him off. I took a second to calm down, and think of my first question. I looked up at Urahara seriously. "If Ichigo and Rukia knew so much about Toushiro, why didn't they tell me about him? If they really wanted me to stay away from him, why didn't they just tell me the truth?"
"Because they couldn't." he said in a voice that I couldn't read. He still had his humorous tone, but it sounded a lot more grim. He sighed deeply. "No one is supposed to know about the existence of things like werewolves. Ichigo and Rukia were simply following orders."
Werewolves…really? It just didn't seem possible. After all, how could people go through their whole lives without ever knowing something like that was real? Sane people never believed weird myths about them. You never saw any proof of them in reliable newspapers or magazines. Were things like that covered up by people who knew? Or like Urahara just said, those who knew couldn't say anything. Or maybe people were just in denial, not wanting to believe the stories they heard about werewolves. Either way, the thought of something like werewolves just seemed too unbelievable. But I guess I had to believe it because that was what Toushiro was.
"Orders from you?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "No, not me." His gaze traveled around the room briefly then rested on me. "They work for an organization. A group of hunters." I felt my back tense. "Its their job to protect people by killing werewolves."
"But that doesn't mean Toushiro and the others are hurting anyone. They wouldn't kill people." I defended, finding myself trying to protect them. I didn't know why though. I honestly didn't know what to think about Toushiro and the others, but I was still going to stick by the little I knew about them. They didn't seem like killers.
Urahara closed his fan. "It's not what you think, it doesn't work like that. Werewolves can't control their actions."
It was so odd to hear someone talking about werewolves of all subjects. It just didn't sound right. It greatly contrasted with the serious tone at the moment and I don't think I'll get used to it anytime soon.
I waited for him to continue. "Werewolves stay human until a full moon when they change into what you saw earlier. But unfortunately, once they change, they aren't themselves anymore and they kill whoever and whatever crosses their path whether they want to or not." he drawled. It was almost disturbing to hear him say this so casually.
"So they kill someone who can't control themselves?!" I yelled. He had to be making this up. Ichigo and Rukia wouldn't kill those people, they couldn't do something like that.
"They don't have a choice either. If they just left werewolves alone then there would no longer be a balance and humans would go extinct." he said calmly from his seat.
"Balance?" I asked.
He sighed, as if trying to delay his answer, even for just a second. He spoke with a low tone. "When someone transforms into a werewolf on a full moon, they instinctively go out to hunt. That's obviously a problem when the person who changed lives in a city or town with other people." he explained slowly. Normally that would've bugged me, but right now I didn't mind. I was grateful for his slow pace as I was having a hard time taking everything in. "This results in people being killed, or if they survive the attack, becoming werewolves themselves."
I looked down at the wooden table. What Ichigo and Rukia – possibly even Dad – were doing seemed to make sense, but that didn't make it seem any less wrong. I understood what Urahara was telling me, but no matter the circumstances, Ichigo and Rukia killed people. Even if they didn't have much of a choice, it didn't make me feel any better. And then there was Toushiro. If what I was hearing was true, then it was more than likely he had done the same.
"Karin." I heard a new voice say from behind. I turned around to see Ichigo looking at me. He looked upset, probably for more than one reason.
I glared at him. "How'd you know I was here?" I guess I was more predictable than I thought if he figured I was at the haunted candy shop so fast.
He shrugged. "The cat told me." Was that some kind of inside joke? "Look Karin, I'm sorry about all this. I didn't want you involved in what me and Rukia do, but you need to listen to what I tell you."
"You hardly told me anything. You can't expect me to do something just because you say it." I knew he was looking out for me, but that didn't mean I was in the wrong for not listening to him.
He narrowed his eyes. "Because that's worked out for you so well, right?" There was bitterness in his words, but I couldn't figure out why he was so angry.
"You're acting like it's a surprise I didn't listen to you." I retorted. "Toushiro was the first guy I ever liked, and out of nowhere you start telling me to stay away from him. Did you really think I would listen?"
Ichigo was getting more worked with each word I threw at him. Good. I wanted him to know how I felt. "You have to grow up Karin. You can't be a child and do what you want just because you feel like it."
"Then stop treating me like a child and think you don't owe me an explanation when you try to order me around!" I was standing before I realized it, breathing hard and heavy. Ichigo was still but looked ready to explode any second. His body was rigid, brow furrowed and mouth set in a tight line.
"What would you have done if he did tell you?" Urahara said, causing me to jump. I had forgotten he was even here. He looked at me curiously. "Well?"
I cooled down momentarily, caught off guard by his question that seemed so obvious. I didn't know why I hadn't asked myself that yet. If I had truly known what Toushiro was, what would I have done? I thought silently about the past few months. A lot – if not most – of it involved Toushiro. I couldn't lie and say I didn't like him, because I did, but I could say I see him differently now. "I don't know..."
Urahara grinned again. "Well it's getting late. How about you two head home and come back tomorrow. I can clear everything up then, once you've talked."
Not much later, Ichigo and I were walking down the street in a wordless atmosphere. He was still really upset, but so was I. There was still that constricting feeling on my lungs, pulling me back and forth. It was as if there was some unexplainable force that was pushing me to pick sides, to decide who the killers really were. I dragged my feet and let out an aggravated sigh. Might as well get this over with.
"Ichigo." He kept his pace up but gave me a glance in response. "What are you planning to do now?" I asked him seriously.
He stopped abruptly and turned to me. He seemed cautious but spoke anyway. "About what?"
"Toushiro and the oth-"
"Jeez Karin!" he growled while putting his hand up to his forehead. "You want me to let them run around, free to kill innocent people just so you can have your boyfriend?" he stepped towards me, further emphasizing his point. "Or better yet, let them kill you? You need to forget about them. You know what they are and you know what they can do."
I narrowed my eyes at him. The more he spoke, the more his words seemed to make sense. I wanted to keep my opinion fair and see both sides, but it was hard when you consider that werewolves hurt people while the hunters protect them. He was right, no one should sit back and let people be killed... but did that make Toushiro and the others killers? Did that mean they had to be killed?
He started walking again. "Don't be so naïve about things. You may know more about whats going on, but that doesn't mean you know everything. Making stupid decisions will get you killed."
"You're one to talk!" I quickened my pace to keep up. "What about when you used to come home all torn up when we were still in Karakura Town? Three or four years ago, that's when you became a hunter, right? You're saying putting your life in danger to fight those things isn't stupid?"
He didn't respond and kept walking. I jogged past Ichigo and stopped in front of him. I wasn't letting him constantly drop my questions. "And just because you're a hunter, that doesn't give you the right to just kill them. Aren't werewolves people too?" I felt my words wavering towards the end. I honestly didn't know the answer to my own question.
"Don't try to pull that shit. You don't care about those things, you didn't even know they existed this morning. You only care about Toushiro." he scoffed.
Whether I wanted to admit it or not, Ichigo was right. I still didn't know much about werewolves, hunters, or anything else that was out there. I was trying to keep my opinion open because of my ignorance. Who was I to judge something I knew next to nothing about? But every time I referred to a werewolf, I was only thinking about Toushiro.
"It's my job. I swore I would protect people from monsters like them and I will." he sounded like he was rehearsing something he'd practiced in his spare time. It sounded plastic.
I stared at him closely. It had become so hard to read Ichigo now. Before he was always so predictable, but now I couldn't seem to understand him. A little unnerved, I asked. "Do you really think they're monsters?" Was Toushiro really a monster?
Maybe I really was a monster.
Those strange words echoed in my head. I remembered saying that in a dream. What did it mean?
I shook my head to focus back on Ichigo. He still had that angry scowl on his face. "Maybe they were people once, but they're nothing but killers now." It was painful to hear him sound so sure about what he just said.
I glared coldly at him. "You're telling me you don't see them as people? That's a fucked up reason to think becoming a hunter is justified."
I think I struck a nerve when I said that. Ichigo's fists were clenched and his eyes seemed to be filled with pain. He was shaking and seemed to be holding back his words along with his breath. Ichigo, my strong older brother, looked as though he could fall apart from the overwhelming amount of emotions he seemed to be feeling. It was enough for me to want to take back my words, though I'm sure that wasn't what caused this reaction. I'd never seen Ichigo so upset since...
"Those monsters... they killed Mom." he grounded out, anguish evident in his voice. His eyes were trained on the ground and his teeth were gritted tightly.
"W-what?" I said weakly. "Ichigo, what are you talk about? Mom wasn't killed – she fell and drowned in the river back in Karakura 10 years ago." I remembered Dad telling us her body was never found and that the police announced her dead after a few days of searching.
"And you believe that? What would Mom being doing near the river in the middle of the night?" he snapped, as if offended that I would believe that someone like our mother could be overcome by a mere river. "A werewolf attacked and killed her during a full moon. The story about her drowning was to cover up the existence of werewolves." his voice was suddenly softer, somber. "That's why I became a hunter."
I was speechless. Ichigo had been the one who took losing Mom the hardest. Yuzu and I were only 5 and didn't get as much time with her as he did. Even so, I still missed her, and to think the circumstances of her death were just a lie like everything else had been. It was disturbing. Was there anything that wasn't a lie?
"Do you get it now? They're killers." It was odd. Suddenly the sides seemed to define themselves, with Toushiro being on the bad one. Could one small revelation make such a big difference? "Face it, he was just using you for his own entertainment. Just forget about them." he repeated and continued walking.
We arrived home and I went straight to my room while doing my best to avoid anyone. I laid back on my bed still thinking. I had to sort out my own thoughts before anything else. I just didn't want Ichigo to be right. That Toushiro was a killer, that he used me, that I had to just forget about him. Unfortunately, just because I didn't want that to be true, didn't mean it wasn't. I had to grow up. 15 years old meant I couldn't be a baby anymore, expecting everything to go my way. That wasn't how life worked. Life was a big ugly bitch who liked to slap you around when things are going too good. And if I wanted something a certain way, I had to work for it.
The problem was, I didn't know what to do. Everything Ichigo said seemed to just make so much sense. I didn't like the idea of him and Rukia killing people, werewolf or not, but what were they supposed to do? Let other people be killed? Either way someone had to die. Mom was killed, something that could have been avoided if the werewolf that killed her had been stopped by a hunter beforehand. Mom shouldn't have died. But I guess someone had to, because in the end someone always died.
I groaned and pressed my hands on my eye sockets. I felt the need to reiterate how crappy today had been. I felt a sudden shift in the air and I heard a creak from the floor. I removed my hands from my eyes and was about to shout, but it was too late. They grabbed me.
()()()
"Shit!" I cursed as I kicked the refrigerator. Today had to be one of the worst days I had had in a while. First I was shot in the arm which hurt like hell, then as my luck would have it, Karin showed up. I was tempted to let Kurosaki shoot me by then because I was sure nothing could make things worse.
Rangiku looked from me to the dent in the fridge with a pout on her face. "Calm down Toushiro. So your girlfriend found out you're a dog, you don't need to take it out on the fridge."
"Then what would you prefer I take my anger out on?" I growled.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't be angry. Just go talk to her." she suggested. "I'm sure Karin feels like she's got an egg on her face right now and it's your fault."
"My fault? How is it my fault?" Was I supposed to tell her I was a werewolf? 'Hey Karin, I really like you. By the way I turn into a giant dog every so often and I enjoy howling at the moon in my spare time. I hope you don't mind fleas.' I don't think so.
The other four walked into the kitchen, all apparently listening in. Of course no matter where they were in the house they'd be able to hear whether they wanted to or not.
"Well first off you shouldn't have been messing with her." Momo said in an almost scolding manner. I had to admit she was right about that.
"What are you talking about?" Renji scoffed. "A man has needs that need to be met and if that Karin-girl was helping him with tha-"
"Shut. Up." They were making it incredibly hard to think.
What should I do? The safest and smartest thing to do would be to leave Seireitei as soon as possible. But I really didn't want to do that. I needed to talk with Karin, but that was easier said than done. I was probably the last person she wanted to see and I didn't blame her. Not to mention her brother will be waiting, ready to blow my head off. Honestly, I must have taken lessons on how to screw myself over because I was going for the gold right now.
Yumichika sat in a chair by the table Rangiku was sitting at. "I think you should go talk to her. This house is rather appealing and it'd be nice if you could work something out so we don't have to move." he shrugged. "Unless you don't want her."
"Why would he?" Ikkaku piped up. "She's crazy."
Momo raised an eyebrow. "Crazy? What do you mean?"
Yumichika started laughing when he explained. "She threw a brick at his head."
"And why would she do that?" I asked.
"She caught us following her." I wasn't sure if I wanted to know why they were following her. Yumichika supplied anyways. "We wanted to see why you took an interest in her."
Yeah, didn't want to know. I rubbed my temples in an attempt to calm down. This was so aggravating, or rather, the situation was. My options weren't exactly limited, just most of them were undesirable.
Momo sighed. "Go to Urahara and let him know we're leaving Seireitei. With Kurosaki and Kuchiki around, we aren't safe."
"She does have a point. For all we know, they could be coming here tonight." Renji added.
Rangiku huffed and crossed her arms. "Then thats all the more reason he should go talk to her. She might be able to get her brother to leave us alone."
Yumichika raised his hand. "I'm with Rangiku."
"I say we fight them off. That way we can stay here, keep our dignity, and we won't have to worry about anyone bothering us." No surprise coming from Ikkaku. Although that does sound very tempting, I've already made things complicated for Karin and I'd rather not make it worse.
I left the kitchen and headed to the door. "I'm going to Urahara's." I called back.
I walked fairly slow in the dark. It was at night when I felt most relaxed. The moon was out and the air was cool and crisp. But even the night didn't relax me right now. I almost found it hard to believe that I was doing this. In hindsight, why would I risk the others' safety just so I could be around Karin? Maybe I was just being selfish. Or stupid. Either way, nothing could be so simple as just leaving without a word. Even leaving period. As strange as it was to me, I wanted to stay here, with Karin.
But that wasn't how life worked. Life was cruel and demanding, only giving you a break so it could knock you back down even harder than before. I've lived long enough to know that. So in the end, I'll leave the decision to Karin.
I stopped in front of a house with a clinic attached to it. I'd been here a few times before, but that was before Kurosaki was trying to kill me. I couldn't just go walking through the door like everything was fine and dandy. I walked around to the side of the house and saw a window cracked open. I rubbed the back of my next neck in hesitation. I had to do this just right. I had to be as quiet as possible so I didn't attract anyone who might have a gun or any other weapon that could shoot, stab, or bludgeon me with silver.
Carefully, I climbed up the side and onto the garage. The lights in that room were off so hopefully no one was in there. I jumped from the roof of the garage to the ledge of the window. I looked up to see the room was empty. I opened the window and crawled in. Sad to say this wasn't my first time sneaking into someone's house through a window. Even with the lights off, I could tell this was Karin's room. It was the same as the last time I was here, and her scent filled the room. It was almost intoxicating.
Someone was stomping loudly up the stairs outside the room. As fast I could, I hid under the bed and laid flat on my stomach. The door opened and the light flicked on. It was Karin. She slammed her door shut and flopped on her bed directly above me. Well this was fun. I waited a few seconds. She gave an irritated groan and shifted a little.
This was my chance, while no one else was in the room.
I slid from under the bed and glanced at her from the floor. She had her hands covering her eyes. I stood up behind her and the floor creaked. She sat up and was about to shout, but I clamped my hand over her mouth so she wouldn't alarm the rest of the house. That was a close call because she let out a muffled scream.
I was sitting on my knees on her bed, right behind her with one hand over her mouth and the other arm wrapped around her arms. She started fighting back though. She was a lot stronger than I thought. "Karin, wai-" She swung her elbow behind her and it hit me... in a very very sensitive spot. Werewolf or not, that freaking hurt.
She slipped away from my grip and turned around. Once she saw it was me she was about to yell something but I jumped her again. Now I had her on her back, my hand over her mouth with my other holding both of her hands above her head. The position was oddly similar to the one we were in when we first met, only this time I was on top.
"Karin, you have to be quiet." I told her, trying not to think about how this must look. I didn't dare shift myself with the way I was straddling her. But dammit, why was she squirming so much?
She glared at me and started yelling, though it only came out as stifled muffling.
"That doesn't sound quiet to me, do you want your brother to hear? Just shut up and I'll move my hand."
Her dark blue eyes were livid but she kept quiet. I lifted my hand and held both her hands on each side of her head. "What the hell are you doing?" she hissed.
I shrugged. "I wanted to talk."
She narrowed her eyes and started wiggling even more. "Talk? You mean you want to talk about how you're a werewolf? Or did you have a different topic in mind?"
"I know. I'm sorry." I said sincerely. "I didn't want you to find out the way you did."
"Really?" she faked her shock. "Because I thought my brother trying to shoot you, only for you to turn into a giant wolf and running off was a wonderful surprise." she paused. "You asshole, you made me feel like an idiot."
Karin went silent for a few seconds, not looking at me. It made me feel ashamed of myself. But I came here to talk, and I wasn't going to lose my nerve now. "I don't want you angry with me even though you have the right to be. I understand how you feel but try to see it from where I am. It's not like I could put the others in danger by telling you what we were."
She tried to pull her wrists from my grip but to no avail. "Then why did you bother with me in the first place?" she snapped. "I'm sure it would've been much easier to have just ignored me. To have let me drown, or fall, or whatever the hell you stopped."
"I..." It was strange to hear myself hesitating like I was. It was different from how I had felt in a while. I wasn't even sure if I had ever felt this way before. "I didn't want to."
"So instead you wanted to just fuck me over then? Was I some kind of game to you?"
I winced at her words. She really thought that? Everything she said sounded so sure that it pained me to think she really felt that way. "No."
She rolled her eyes away. "Then why?"
"Why?" I repeated, a little frustrated. "I need a reason to want to be around you? Can't it be as simple as I like you?"
Karin gave a humorless chuckle. Even with a bitter tone, she still sounded melodic. "I just find what you say a little hard to believe after being lied to so much. You, Ichigo, Dad... I'm sick of it."
"I'm not lying. Not anymore." I insisted. "I wouldn't come here to continue lying to you."
She seemed to cool down a little, but not by much. "Alright then." she said boldly in a testing manner. "Answer. You, Hinamori, Rangiku, Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika are all werewolves, right?"
"Yes."
"Have you... ever killed anyone?"
That damn hesitation again. It was one of the most uncomfortable feelings like cotton stuck in my throat. It was suffocating and dry. "Yes."
Her low pulse quickened ever so slightly that I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't concentrating on it at the moment. She obviously already suspected what my answer would be, but me saying it out loud seemed to make it that more real to her. She spoke again. "You regret it, don't you?"
Even a simple question like that made me feel the guilt I'd been harboring for all of these years. Living as a werewolf was a very controversial thing. It seemed the only purpose of our existence was to kill those weaker than us. And in a sense, that seemed to be all we were doing, existing. Not living.
"Karin, I've done nothing but exist in regret and guilt for longer than I can remember. That is, until I met you." I took in a deep breath. I never thought I would ever say anything remotely like this to another person, let alone think it. But I guess that was what she did to me and I wanted to tell her that. "I don't know what it is about you, but it drives me crazy trying to figure it out. You're bossy, short-tempered, sarcastic, and stubborn."
She raised an eyebrow in aggravation at me. "So now you're insulting me?"
"No. I'm saying I like you in spite of, or even because of that. Because that's who you are. Theres a lot of things I've done that I regret, but getting to know you is not one of them." I paused for a second, calming myself. "Whether you believe me or not is up to you, but I want you to know that."
Karin's features changed dramatically. Before they were hard and calculating, and now they were unreadable. She turned her head away and squinted her eyes. "You wait 'til now to say this." she started, still not looking at me. "And what if I believed you." she said in a steady voice.
I smiled softly at her. She fell into silence again. I just had the urge to hold her more affectionately as opposed to pinning her down like I was doing. Her face was flushed and it made her look so irresistible. Finally, she asked. "So now what?"
I closed my eyes. I couldn't keep looking at her at the moment. "Me and the others are leaving." As I had said, I wasn't going to lie to her anymore.
She tensed at my words. I patiently waited for her reply, doing everything I could to keep control of myself. "Do you want to leave?" she finally asked.
By then I hadn't even realized I was holding my breath. I opened my eyes but I was the one to turn my head away from her this time. I couldn't answer that question. If I told Karin yes I'd be lying, but I was afraid to say no. Afraid she'd want me to leave.
"Toushiro." I drifted my eyes back into hers. They looked angry and hurt. "Do you want to leave me?" she asked, sounding so quiet that only my enhanced senses allowed me to hear.
I stared at Karin in silence. Her deep blue eyes unwaveringly repeated the question to me again and again. I leaned down closer to her, mere centimeters away, her warm breath sending chills down my neck. Without thinking, I pressed my lips against her soft rosy ones, reveling in her addictive taste. The sensation was far more satisfying than anything I'd felt before and I would've been more glad to stay like this forever. It would have been ideal to forget about the world and just be here, doing this.
I pulled back to look her in the eyes once more and whispered softly. "No." Before I reclaimed her lips again.
Maybe life wasn't so bad after all...
My sad attempt at something romantic. But it does get the story speeding up faster and more will be explained. And the antagonist will be revealed soon. In the next two chapters at least. Well, let me know what you think and how you're liking the story so far. Feel free to ask anything or suggest ideas that you might want to see later in the story ;)
So let me know! Luv ya!