A.N. I have no idea why Bella is so evil in this one. I don't even say what her motives were, because I don't know what they are myself. You'll see! Side note: Previously, I had 'Bill' as the best vampire ever. It has now been indefinitely changed to Eric. Swoon.
Enjoy! Please ignore the randomness and frivolousness of this chapter, please.
Disclaimer: Hello. My name is Aces and Eights. I don't own Twilight (or the other TV shows I mentioned). You killed my father. Prepare to die!
Death Ten: Dissing again?
"So...Emmett. What is your favorite TV show?" Bella asked him. All the Cullen's were assembled around the kitchen table. Bella came over saying she had some 'questions' for them.
Emmett raised his eye brows for a second, then lowered them. "Oh. Well...uh, I would have to go with Blues Clues." Bella nodded. Rosalie whipped her head to her husband and glared. She opened her mouth to protest, but Bella had moved on.
"Alice?"
"Uh...CSI." But it sounded like a question. Why was Bella asking this question? Esme looked at Alice with a raised eyebrow.
She nodded. "I see. Jasper?"
"..."
"Jasper?" Bella looked at him expectantly.
"...True Blood," he snorted.
"Esme?"
"About A Girl."
Alice squealed. "Too bad they canceled it. I loved that show!"
Esme nodded. "I know! Like – "
"Stop!" Bella shouted. She turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie?"
Rose looked around. "Uh...I'd rather not say." Emmett elbowed her. He gave her a look; she sighed and answered, "Avatar: The Last Airbender..."
Jasper snorted this time.
It didn't even faze Bella. "Carlisle?"
"Becker," he answered quick and sure.
"Edward?"
"Glee. Or Gilmore Girls. It's at a cross between the two."
Bella looked around the room, as if waiting for something to happen. Meanwhile, everyone stared at Edward.
Bella smirked. 3...2...1...
The room exploded.
"Gilmore Girls? Gilmore Girls? That is the gayest show ever!"
"Well at least it's not Blues Clues!"
"Hey! That show is very educational!"
"Oh yes! We're all very glad that you know your shapes now, Emmy!"
"Hey, at least my show wasn't canceled!"
"Don' be dissing the About A Girl! Did you ever seen that show? Huh? Did you see Jason? I didn't think so."
"Jasper, what the hell is up with you liking True Blood?"
"It has a good story line."
"Please! You only watch it for the sex!"
"Emmett!"
"I don't watch it for the sex! I watch it for the – "
"Nudity?"
"No!"
"Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex!"
"That is no language for a 91 year old, young man!"
"Sorry."
"Avatar? Why do you watch that show? It's so stupid!"
"No it's not! It's very...pretty."
"At least there's no sex."
"It don't watch it for the sex!"
"I'm on team Zutara."
"Me too!"
"Mmmm...Jason..."
"Do you like Noah or Fin?"
"Noah, hands down."
"He's a jerk!"
"He's sweet!"
"Did you just say sweet? Gay..."
"So's your mom."
"Hey!" Esme chirped.
"You're a doctor! Why do you need to watch Becker?"
"Because! It's...funny."
"At least it isn't a cartoon."
"Shut up! It's a good fucking show!"
"Sure it is. And everyone loves Bob Saget."
"Sex!"
"Shut up! It has a good story line! Bill and Eric – "
"Oh my god! It's a gay porn show?"
"I swear to god, I will kill you!"
"At least Eric's a real vampire!"
Frozen. Bella's smirk wiped clean off her face.
What.
Did.
Edward.
Just.
Say.
In.
A.
Room.
Full.
Of.
Vampires?
"Edward...could you say that again, please?" Carlisle asked. Edward stared wide eyed and scared. Carlisle nodded. "That's what I thought you said."
The next second Edward was thrown out the window/wall, and all the Cullen's had commenced in beating the shit out of him.
Once the Cullen's were done burying the body, they went inside to see that Bella was still there. She smirked.
"My work here is done." And she left.