A.N. This one is totally random. Before I published this story, I was still had ot think up many deaths. This is one of the original ideas.

Enjoy!

Death Twelve: A Flat Death

"Your what?" Edward bellowed as they walked the 12 blocks to the movie theater.

"I'm team Jacob," Bella said as if he was the one going crazy.

"But I'm Edward! You love me!"

Bella snorted. "I know I love you, idiot! But do you see how ugly you are in the movies?"

"I am NOT ugly!" Edward crossed his arms, offended.

"But your actor is! And did you see his hair? Oh my god! It was like looking at a not-quite-all-the-way-shaved Chewbacca!" Bella ranted, her 'Real men don't sparkle' shirt shimmering from the reflection of Edward's skin. Hey, the secrets out. They can walk in the sun now!

"Hey, Jacob wasn't any better either. His hair? Does he not know how to brush it?"

"No! Don't diss him!"

"How can you be team Jacob? You married me."

She rolled her eyes. "I know who I married. It's just...okay, so in the books, I'm team Edward. But the movie? Totally and one hundred percent team Jacob. I don't even want to see movie Edward naked." She shuddered at the thought, along with everyone else who is reading this.

Edward stroked his beard. "I suppose that'll have to do. Jacob is quite the sight in the movies, at the risk of making myself sound gay."

"You always sound gay," Bella said under her breath, forgetting that he could still hear her.

"What?"

"What?"

"Wha – " but he didn't get to finish his thought. Why? How? What was he gonna say? Oooo, the suspense!

Why couldn't he finish? Because, at that precise moment, someone had dropped a piano out their window. Why people decide to drop their pianos out the window is beyond me, but it still happened.

And it happened to squish our dear Edward flat.

And his blood spattered all over our dear Bella, who screamed for about five minutes, then continued walking, pulling out a wet nap from her purse.

What? You think she's gonna get a bad seat to opening night to the movie with all of those half naked men in it because her husband just died?

Psh.