A/N: Hey, guys! I know I just updated yesterday, but I was thinking. I've been telling you my inner thoughts and feelings about Merlin Season 3 and I've been baring my soul and even giving you glimpses of the dark cavern of my tortured noggin, but you don't really know anything about me or what my inspiration was for this story. So I thought that chapter eleven would be the perfect time for us to get to know each other a little better (because chapter eleven means "introduction" in Tiwanese), and I'll be back with chapter twelve, The Crystal Cave Part 1 of 3 next Tuesday, K? :)

Reflections

Chapter Eleven: A Peek into the Tortured Noggin of the Author

Greetings.

I have decided that introducing myself will be much less awkward if I start out with a hilarious joke to break the ice. Are you ready? Oh, man, this is rich! I can't wait to see your reaction to this. Are you ready? Do you have your funny-pants on? Are you ready to laugh your posterior off? Okay, here it is, the most amazingly funny joke in the entire history of the whole wide world and even Mars:

TWILIGHT

Okay, can you breathe? Have you stopped gasping for air? Are you done tee-heeing and ho-hoing and ha-haing? Good. So now things should be decidedly less awkward...That is, unless you just so happen to be a fan of Ms. Meyer's saga, for which I will forgive you only if you give me a cookie.

This being said, I don't hate Twilight. And I don't hate Stephanie Meyer. She can't help that her books are inconsistent. But that's not the point; if you want to see the most amazing blog about Twilight ever, then I suggest you go to Sparknotes and look up Dan Bergstein's "Blogging Twilight." I was just explaining that my joke wasn't meant to be mean or spiteful. In fact, it was meant to be funny...that's why it's called a joke...duh.

So now that the ice is broken (AH! Help, I'm slipping through the broken ice and am getting hypothermia from the frigid Arctic waters as we speak!), I will introduce myself.

Hi, my name is Elizabeth but on I shall go by the alias Emachinescat. Why?

When we got the Internet for the first time, I was making my first e-mail account. As I was just a wee girl of eight or nine, my dad decided to help me think of a name. We had an Emachines brand computer at the time, and I love cats more than is probably healthy because they're so cute and fluffy and independent and cuddly, and, and... Okay, exibit A. Sorry. So we combined the two, and now I'm Emachinescat! Whoopeee!

I was inspired to start writing this satire/fan-fiction/review after reading Dan Bergstein's "Blogging Twilight." Sorry to go off on a rant here, but the man is positively brilliant. I think I'm in love. (Not really, because I don't even know him, and he could be a total doosh in real life, but I do adore his blogs!) He is so funny, and he is sarcastic, and he makes me snort milk out my nose, and he points out all the plot holes in Twilight, and he is just awesome! Also, he makes up really cool words like tubnicking. Who wouldn't fall in love with him?

Anyway, that being said, this isn't a chapter introducing Dan (although it should be, because he is tubnickingly awesome and he rocks my socks), so I guess I should start talking about me again. Okay. Oh, Dan LOVES werewolves. Okay, just had to get that out...

Alright, let's see...Me...

Okay, I've got one!

I'm an English major. I love to write and want to be a famous author someday. I am a Christian and I fully believe in the sovereignty of God. I am not going to judge you because of what you do or what you believe, I will be your friend regardless.

I tend to go through "obsessive stages" although that sounds kind of creepy, so we'll call them "Squee-Attacks...of DOOM!" Anyway, I get really into a book, show, movie, whatever, and it's all I want to talk about. I just got over Legend of the Seeker. Now Merlin is in the forefront of my mind. I don't think I'm going to get over Merlin for a while (like FOREVER because, come on guys, if you're reading this, you've obviously WATCHED the show and it's just fantabulous!), so you'll have to stick with me. If we are having a conversation about why if naked mole rats are called naked mole rats, then shouldn't hairless cats be called naked mole cats (that really is a good question, please let me know the answer as soon as possible), and I suddenly remark, "Oh my gosh, Merlin is amazing and he killed a griffin and a basilisk and then he lifted a car and went to the moon and proposed to me," just ride it out. I'll get out my excitement eventually.

That being said, there are other things that are always in my mind. Like cats and squirrels and Harry Potter. I also like platypi? Platypusses? Platy-people? No clue. Which brings up another question: if some sick, terrible excuse for a human being decided to cook up some Platypi in a pie, what would they call it? "Platypi Pie?" Or maybe "Platy-Pi squared"? I'd name it Gilderoy, but that's just because I think Gilderoy Lockhart was a platypus in another life. ANYWAY...

See what I mean? But I honestly believe that is a big reason I can be entertaining...

Oh, I'm scared of a lot of stuff. Like elevators. Spiders. Storms. Stupid people in large groups. A group of stupid spiders waiting for me on a stormy night inside of a haunted elevator. Stuff like that. Oh yeah, and black rocks. Don't ask. Just go watch "The Knowing" with Nicholas Cage. Yeah, I'm a bit of a wimp. So what?

Alright, I'm running out of things to say, but that is mainly because my feet are cold and I have vowed not to move or even put socks on until I have finished this introduction. And as my toes are turning a lovely shade of blue, I think it's about time I allowed you to truly let in what I have told you here today sink in and speak to your soul.

Now that you know me a little better, do you know what you should do? COMMENT! MESSAGE! SEND ME A PET PLATYPUS NAMED GILDEROY! What? You know you want to.

A/N: So, now that we know each other a bit better, maybe we can connect through this story at a whole new level. :) So what about you guys? What floats your boat? What cheeses your macaroni? What pets your platypi?

So I guess I'll see you next week with The Crystal Cave Part 1 of 3! :D

~Emachinescat ^..^