A/N: I apologize profusely for being so late! Christmas week was crazy, and New Year's week is looking to be about the same. I'm writing this when I should be sleeping, but I wanted to get this out there before you guys give up on me. :) Not sure how long this one will be, there's not a whole lot of funnies to make for this episode, it's so emotional. But I'm sure I'll find something to talk about. (It's me, of course I will!) Thanks to all of you who reviewed the last chapter and please REVIEW! :D

Reflections

Chapter Twelve: The Crystal Cave Part 1 of 3

*peeks around corner warily, eyes peeled for rotten tomatoes coming my way, sighs in relief, then gets hit in the face with a potato peeler* Really, guys? A potato peeler? *gropes on the floor for missing eyeball* Goodness, you guys are violent. I leave you for a couple of weeks and when I come back, you're ready to murder me because of my tardiness. How rude!

No, seriously, I'm sorry about the delay. We had family in from Florida, and now that they've gone home, we've got family in from Ohio, but I'm making it my mission to get back on my regular updating schedule. We'll see how that goes. *chuckles nervously*

But now, on to The Crystal Cave Part 1 of 3.

I have to say, this was a wonderful, emotional episode, and it about kills me to watch it. Although there is some humor at the beginning, and a few funny moments sprinkled in the mix occasionally, it is overall an extremely dark episode and it had me in tears. So here's hoping that I won't bawl my eyes out while writing this chapter – and yes, I know, I'm a baby. What can I say? I cry at everything – The Little Mermaid, Bambi, Barney the Dinosaur (of course, the last one is from tears of pain and begging, "Please, turn it off, PLEASE, my brain is melting! AHHHH!)

But anyway.

The episode begins with Arthur and Merlin running – for their lives. They are being chased by a huge band of – surprise, surprise – bandits. Why? We aren't told, but I have a few theories: (A) Arthur and Merlin decided to play a rousing game of ding-dong-ditch-the-deadly-dummies, (B) the bandits are all farmers and Arthur and Merlin were playing super extreme cow-tipping, or (C) Arthur and Merlin both had trouble magnets embedded in their left pinky toes at birth and everywhere they go, they get into, well, trouble – getting chased by bandits, being attacked by raging hippogriffs, having their clothes torn off by crazed fan-girls – you know, the same old, same old. Or maybe they just do it for kicks – get into trouble to get the adrenaline pumping, you know, since they didn't have roller coasters, haunted houses, or flesh-eating chickens back then.

As they run pell-mell through the forest, I'm struck with a thought. Arthur's in the lead, running like mad, fully armed. Merlin's trailing behind, wearing no armor whatsoever, completely unprotected from the bandits. I know Merlin's just a servant, but seriously, if Arthur's going to take Merlin along on dangerous quests with him, shouldn't he at least be protected somehow? I mean, I know Merlin has magic and all, but it seems a little unfair, especially since Arthur doesn't know about it.

"Oh, yeah, don't worry about Merlin, I take him with me everywhere – on spying trips into enemy territory teaming with bloodthirsty foes, into insanely dangerous magical lands where people are going to try and kill us at every turn, and, most dangerous of all, Chuck E. Cheese (seriously, no joke – think about it: a small place, a mechanical rat, lots of sugar and soda, screaming children, screaming parents… I'm feeling sick just thinking about it…. Of course, I'm also terrified of people dressed up in animal costumes…don't ask why. They just FREAK me out.), but it's okay because I'm armed. Nothing will happen to me. I'm safe. So what if he's completely vulnerable? As long as I'm okay, it's all good. Now, which way to the tavern? I've got my measuring stick and I'm wanting to measure the mood of my people…."

And I'm sorry if I've given you guys a similar rant before. I will sometimes tell a story more than once, but when I repeat it, I don't remember any of the other times that I told it, so I think I'm telling it for the first time. Confused? *rubs aching head* You're not alone, my friend.

Finally Arthur and Merlin duck out of sight in some kind of valley/alcove/tree-surrounded thing. Merlin wants to know if they lost them, and Arthur grins and says, "I told you we'd outrun them."

*facepalm* Arthur. Please. Have you learned nothing from my previous ranting and raving? Sure, most of the time it's nonsensical babbling and Merlin hero-worship, but in the midst of the madness, there is a bit of redeemable knowledge – like never count your chickens before they hatch. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I think it has something to do with thinking everything's all good, and then getting proved spectacularly wrong. In other words, Murphy's law is at work in the very moment Arthur basically says, "What else could go wrong?"

Ah well, can't say I didn't warn them. Why is it that TV characters, book characters, or the extremely adventurous mailman named Pete never listen to me?

Merlin asks if Arthur's sure, and Arthur's response is: "Why is it you never trust me, Merlin?"

Hmmm, let me think about that. (A) Because you're a dollop-head, (B) because you're a clotpole, (C) because you're a dollop-headed clotpole OF DOOM, (D) because taco spells ocat backwards.

Before Merlin has time to respond with all of the above (which you know he would have), Arthur's question gets answered for him when there's more collective yelling and the bandits find them and are running at them, brandishing their weapons. Arthur just kind of stares for a minute and Merlin gives him this glare that, oh man, should get him a point on the Burn Meter 5000, but, alas, looks don't count. *grumbles about the rules*

So off they go again, prancing through the forest while angry farmer bandits chase them, ready to kill them. Arthur tells Merlin to trust him again, and Merlin just kind of gives him a look that says, "Yeah. Sure. Whatevs."

They get to this place that I believe is a mountain pass or a valley. There's this epically awesome gate thing where two giant statues are kind of guarding the valley. It's so reminiscent of Lord of the Rings. I was glancing around thinking, "Where's Gollum? And where's the precious? Those stupid fat hobbitses took them from me!" *goes into a psychotic fit, clears throat* I'm… sorry you all had to see that. Moving on.

Merlin stops – kind of like he did when Morgana used the power of the Evil Tree Staff of Doom in The Tears of Uther Pendragon Part 2 to make the skeletons come to life – almost as if he's hit some kind of barrier. I guess that's something that happens to him when he senses or is around powerful magic. Apparently Merlin is none too happy about going into this extremely old and powerful place (which is sure to be dangerous, because the three go together like peanut butter, bananas, and bacon – where you find one, you'll find the others – and I'm not crazy! Try a peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwich – it's sooo yummy. Don't believe me? It's your loss. I LOVE THEM! MMMM…. Sorry. I digress. *runs to kitchen to make sandwich* Fifteen minutes later: Okay, I'm back!), but Arthur doesn't give him much of a choice.

MERLIN: What is this place? (It's Middle Earth, Merlin, don't you recognize it? You'll be arriving at the Shire soon, and then you can party with Mery and Pippen and me of course, because they are now officially invited to the Awesome People Party of Doom. Yep. That's right, y'all. We've got hobbits. You can begin your envious splutters now.)
ARTHUR: The Valley of the Fallen Kings. (Oooh, sounds delightful. Great, ominous name for a place the once and future king is going to take a stroll through – NOT!)
MERLIN: (looking around at all the creepy face carvings around them) Is it cursed? (Of course it is, Merlin. Remember, you and Arthur are trouble magnets? It's bound to be cursed.)
ARTHUR: No, not unless you're superstitious. (Oh, well that's comforting. Thanks so much, Arthur.)
MERLIN: It is. (Listen to him, Artie.)
ARTHUR: It's a myth. They'll never follow us in here. They wouldn't dare. (Uh…contradictory much, Mr. Pendragon? You just said it's not cursed unless you're superstitious. What if they aren't superstitious? And why do I have a feeling that Murphy's Law is gonna hit them so hard in just a minute? *bites fingernails*) Trust me. (HAHAHAHAHAHA! – oh, wait, you were serious? Whoops.)
MERLIN: If you say that one more time… (HA! Yes! Finally, someone saying what I've been saying this whole time – every time someone says "trust me" something bad happens. Those are two of the most common last words, along with "It's going to be fine," "I wonder what that button does," and "Look, honey, there's a man with a chainsaw hitchhiking. I bet he's going to a chainsaw convention with his chainsaw and mask and trenchcoat. Let's give him a lift. Hey buddy, hop in – gurgle gurgle, snap, crack, AHHHHHH!" *shakes head* Some people are just too stupid. But, uh, anyway, POINT MERLIN!)

Of course, Merlin and I were right, and something bad did happen after Arthur's declaration of "Trust me." The bandits apparently aren't superstitious or they have a lot of garlic and rabbit feet with them for the ride. Ain't nothin' gonna stop those boys. *shudders at the double negative and use of ain't and FORCES my OCD self not to go back and change it to "Nothing is going to stop those men" for the sake of comedy, twitches*

But then… DUN DUN DUN… Arthur gets shot with an arrow in the back! How does that work again? The guy who is armed up to the neck gets shot with an arrow that pierces his freaking armor, yet the completely unarmed, unarmored servant trailing behind and stumbling over his own feet doesn't? Are we to ever get our Merlin angst? *growls* I know, I know, a family show. But come on, if Arthur can get shot, why can't Merlin? What happened to equal rights? I demand a Merlin whumping lawyer – anyone want to volunteer? We'll get our whumping, one way or another. Who's in?

And open the title sequence, where, of course, I have a sqee attack when I see the name: Colin Morgan. *sighs* And another one when it says: Bradley James. *sighs* Love them! And now, back to the plot begone, my girly infatuation with two extremely good looking men, at least until this chapter is through, okay? *shrugs and grins* Fan-girls. Whatcha gonna do?

Merlin manages to hide himself and Arthur and the bandits run blindly by. I can't help but wonder why they didn't just do this in the first place. Oh wait. They did. But then Arthur had to say, "Trust me," and everything went downhill. And now he's got an arrow sticking out of his back. Gotta love the irony of the world, eh?

Merlin makes a poultice and heats it up and tries to rouse Arthur. The scene is sweet, funny, and touching, and Merlin really racks up the points: "Come on." Nothing. "Dollop-head." Point Merlin. Still nothing. He slaps Arthur's cheek. "I need you to recover." When Arthur doesn't respond, Merlin rolls him over and tries to heal him with magic. Arthur doesn't stir, but something in the forest does. Yay foreshadowing! "Look, Clotpole (Point Merlin, bringing them to a tie!), I don't care if you die, there are plenty of other princes. You're not the only pompous, supercilious, condescending, royal imbecile I've ever worked for (wow, Merlin, so sweet because you're combining all of your past insults/banters into one, trying to rouse your friend, with tears in your eyes. Point Merlin because that was awesome, even if it brought tears to my eyes.) The world is full of them. I'll give you one more chance." And he tries to heal Arthur with magic again, but nothing happens.

Sadly, nothing happens. I swear, Merlin really needs to learn some healing spells. That seems to be one thing he can never do – heal. Come on, Merlin, step it up, eh?

May I just say, some beautiful acting from Colin Morgan in this scene and the next! It floored me – this man is just incredible, the emotions so raw and real. A beautiful job. Just…wow.

Back to Merlin.

He's washing Arthur's blood off his hands, kneeling by a little stream, trying and failing to hold back his tears. I was so touched. Again, spectacular job, Colin. Wowsers, that kid can act! Then he looks up and there's this old man watching him. The man asks Merlin why he's so sad, and if I were Merlin I would've said something along the lines of, "Because McDonald's doesn't sell tofu burgers – what do you think? It can't be because of the prone figure lying bloody on the ground while I wash his blood off my hands from trying to save him, can it? Crazy old man."

But Merlin just tells it to him straight – that his friend is dying and he can't do anything about it. Aww. His friend. I knew they were friends. It's just great to hear one of them say it, you know? I have chill bumps, although it could be because there's snow on the ground outside. I dunno. Either way, it was sweet.

But the man, whose name I can't remember and am too lazy to try and find again, so we'll call him Ted, tells Merlin that he doesn't need to worry, that it's not Arthur's time to die. Well, you might want to tell Artie that, Mister! 'Cause it looks like that's what he's planning on doing, whether you think it's his time or not! *rolls eyes* Future-seers. Think they know everything.

So Ted the all knowing seer of doom tells Merlin that he is Emrys, yada yada yada – you know the whole speech Merlin gets every time he meets a druid or someone powerful that's heard the prophecies. Ted says one little magic word and Arthur stirs. Okay, so what's up with that? Merlin busts his butt, throwing out long and complicated spells that could double as tongue twisters, and nothing. Nada. Zilch. Yet Mr. Ted Almighty says one word and fixes Arthur's boo-boo? How is that fair?

Anyway, Ted tells Merlin that he wants to show him something, that Arthur's fine, and that they'll be on their way soon, so not to worry about missing Emachinescat's Awesome People Party of Doom, which was what he was really growing concerned about. If Arthur died, he'd have to do a lot of explaining, especially to you Team Arthur people who are attending, about why we're minus one Epically Cool Awesome Person at our Awesome People Party of Doom.

What Ted wants Merlin to see is the future – or rather, crazy, creepy, scary glimpses of the future. Remember that Crystal of Niatine, the one in which Merlin saw all those spoilers for the season two finale? Yep – this is where that lovely piece of magic came from. It's a cave full of crystals (duh, the episode is called "The Crystal Cave"), and Merlin really doesn't want to look into them, but Ted is a bully and keeps pressuring him to do so. I hate peer pressure. It's so lame. In third grade, my friend Jessica made up this weird concoction with mouth wash, ketchup, pickle juice, toothpaste, and who knows what else when I went to her house, and told me that if I didn't drink it, I wasn't her friend. Guess what I did?

I drank the bloody potion – I bet it was just as bad, if not worse, than Gaius's troll potion Merlin had to try in season two. So yeah, Merlin, don't think you're the only one who's been bullied or who's chugged frog paste and rats guts. *shudders* I'm really not sure how I got on this topic, so can we change the subject? Pretty please?

Anyway, as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself (I can be such a chatterbox sometimes – well, okay, all the time), Merlin's really not keen into looking into the crystals. After all, last time he looked into one of those bad boys, he was traumatized. He doesn't want to know the future and quite honestly, I don't blame him. It's just going to make things confusing. If you see the future, you're either going to (A) try to make it happen and screw things up, (B) try to prevent it from happening and screw things up, or (C) attack Uther with an army of glassy-eyed ducks and do the slide out of the throne room (What? It's what I would do. It's definitely more fun than messing with the future. Come on – Messing with the future or messing with the Uther… seriously, which one sounds more appealing? Thought so.)

But alas, Ted is a bully, and Merlin does look into them. He sees frightening flashes of an old man – ahhh, an old man! – Morgana calming her horse – the horse probably realized that she's an evil lying she-witch of doom and tried to trample her; good horsie, it deserves a cookie – and of something red dripping off of someone's fingers … blood? Wine? Food coloring? We're not told. And then Morgana standing over Uther with a knife, about to kill him… but there were no ducks in the picture. Darn. I never get my way, do I?

Once again, this really messes Merlin up and he starts to freak out, and I understand completely. He's seeing flashes of what is yet to come, but he doesn't understand them fully and he suddenly feels like the weight of everything, not just the future of Camelot, Albion, and Arthur's life is on his shoulders. He collapses and yells, "What was that?"

To which Ted replies, "A clever plot device used to further the story and foreshadow episodes to come – nifty, eh?"

A little later, Merlin is back in the forest, Ted no longer in sight – good, I hope Merlin gave him a wedgie or something; I can't stand peer-pressuring bullies of doom – and Merlin is really upset – like, visibly shaking. I wanna hug him and make it all better! It's so sad to see him like this – it's really upsetting him.

Arthur throws Merlin's jacket at him – Arthur's back, yay! Hey Arthur, welcome back! Did you know that the mathematical number pi has nothing to do with a fruity, yummy treat baked in crispy crust? Me either, and when I found out, it broke my heart. Anyway, Arthur, guess what? You almost died, but some bully saved you. You'd like him. His name is Ted and his favorite form of bullying is peer pressure. Oh, and Arthur, that jacket you just threw at Merlin, it's Merlin's, but he used it to cover you with when you were dying. Feel guilty yet? Good. Ha! – and says, "You look like a startled stoat." I'm going to give a point to Arthur for that, even though I have no clue what a stoat is, or why it would be startled, or how Arthur knows these things. It sounds like a kind of sandwich. Or maybe a gorilla that eats old people. I dunno.

Merlin's reply – "Oh yeah? Well at least I don't look like a bone idle… toad. Let's go." Ah, point Merlin – and kudos for using language I actually understand, there, bud. Arthur relishes in confusing me by talking about stoats, but Merlin, you tell it to me straight, and use easy to understand words like "toad" and "hobophobia" which is the fear of hobos. And I'm serious, no joke, that's a real phobia.

Oh, maybe I should explain the "Let's go." Merlin's really eager to get back to Camelot so that he can stop his visions from coming true. Personally, I'm not sure what's so terrible about them. I mean, oh no, Morgana's horse is rearing. Oh dear, someone spilled some wine. Drat, Uther's dying. Nothing important, am I right?

Arthur says, "You're saying I look like a toad?" Yes, Arthur. Honestly, you use words like "stoat," but you can't comprehend "toad"? You're strange.

Merlin's response is just epic: "Yep. And maybe one day you'll magically transform into a handsome prince… but since magic's outlawed that will probably never happen, come on let's go." AHHH! Arthur, you just got BURNED, BABY, BURNED – DISCO INFERNO! Sorry. Music break. But seriously – let's give Merlin another point on the Burn Meter 5000 for that beauty. Merlin is on FIRE today! Oh yeah – and Arthur's feelin' the burn… 'bout time Team Merlin racked up some points, eh?

Arthur reminds Merlin that he's the one who gives the orders and Merlin replies. "Yeah. You ready? Come on, let's go." Told you he's in a hurry – that cave and those visions REALLY messed him up. Poor Merlin. I told you seeing the future was going to turn out badly. No one ever listens to me, at least no one I yell at on the TV anyway.

The first time I watched "The Return of the King," when the giant spider was coming up behind Frodo, I literally about had a conniption while lying in my bed, sick with a sore throat, screaming, "TURN AROUND, YOU IDIOT! THERE'S A GIANT SPIDER OF DOOM RIGHT BEHIND YOU! SHE'S GONNA KILL YOOOOUUUU!" And of course, the silly hobbit ignored me and wound up getting stabbed by her stinger (yet spiders don't have stingers) and rolled up like a fly, ready to be drained. Yum.

Whoops. Lord of the Rings rabbit trail. I apologize.

As they are walking back to Camelot, Arthur and Merlin have a wonderful conversation that cannot be paraphrased. I must give you the direct dialogue (infused with my own clever comments, of course):

ARTHUR: I don't understand. (There's a surprise. OOOH, burn! Point for Lizzie on the Burn Meter – you just got served, and it wasn't macaroni and cheese. No, my friend, you just got served a big bowl of BURN SAUCE! Yeah, I stink at trash talk. But I'm good a poetry. So it evens out, right?) You said I had an arrow in my back. How come all I can feel is a slight bruise? (Because Arthur's a prat – see, told you that answer will work for anything.)
MERIN: Don't know. (I should add, Merlin's in the lead, walking very briskly, answering shortly, pretty much ignoring Arthur, who's doing what Merlin usually does and jabbering on and on. It's pretty amusing.)
ARTHUR: Merlin… something happen you're not telling me about? (Hum… well, there was the part where Ted fixed you up and then gave me mental scars by showing me images of Morgana's horse rearing…)
MERLIN: No.
ARTHUR: Come on. I'm missing your usual prattle. (Aww, Arthur misses the old Merlin and he actually notices something is wrong. I love these moments, they make me all warm and fuzzy inside… or maybe that's the burritos I ate earlier. Not sure. Guess Arthur can get a point for making fun of Merlin's jabbering.)
MERLIN: You're certainly making up for it. (OOOH, that was just… BURN! Man, Merlin, you are FULL of sarcastic and witty comebacks today, aren't you? Whew, we need a fan in here because Merlin is on a roll and Arthur keeps getting burned! Point Merlin!)
ARTHUR: (looks flabbergasted and rolls his eyes, something he does quite often when around Merlin) You still haven't answered my question.

Merlin makes up some story about how the arrow didn't pierce his armor, and when he fell he knocked himself out. Great lie, Merlin. If you recall, in season one, Merlin was a terrible liar (season one is fresh on my memory because I had a Merlin-thon with my nana today, and we watched episodes 4 through 13 of season one today, all in a row, heehee), so he's getting better.

Arthur says, "Okay. I normally don't say things like this, but you did a good job back there." AW, a compliment! They are so BFFs! Like, totally – brotherly moments like this just make me want to cry – then again, the raw onion being peeled two feet from me could be the source of my tears. Maybe. But the emotions are real. Unless those burritos are coming back on me. I'll let you know.

Merlin ignores him.

Arthur presses, "Hear what I just said?"

Merlin ignores him. Arthur keeps talking – apparently someone REALLY misses his servant's easygoing, outgoing nature. See, Arthur, Merlin has feelings, too, and I'm glad you've finally begun to realize it. You just earned some respect points for Team Arthur in my book. (Too bad you're still behind on the Burn Meter 5000 though, mate.)

Arthur tries again, "Alright, maybe I should give you some kind of reward. What do you want?"

Merlin says, and I quote, while giggling hysterically and adding another point to Merlin's score, "Some peace and quiet."

HA! Take that Sir Arthur Talk-a-lot! You just got burned (again!).

Merlin is THE MAN this episode! Whoo!

Stats:

Burn Meter 5000:
Part 1: Arthur 2, Merlin 8
This Episode so Far: Arthur 2, Merlin 8
Total: Arthur 26, Merlin 29

Shirtless Arthur Scenes:
Part 1 : 0
This Episode so Far: 0
Total: 3

Smirk-O-Meter
Part 1: 0
This Episode so far: 0
Total: 23

A/N: Well, there you go – part 1. Please REVIEW and I'll have chapter 13 – part 2 – out Thursday. I'm going to start updating In the Back of Our Minds on Tuesdays and this one on Thursdays to switch things around a bit. As for now, I'm going to crash. REVIEW and then you can start a band with your neighbor's pet iguana, go hunting for sun martians, or change a chimpanzee's diaper. Whatever you do on a Friday. Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR – next time I update, it'll be 2011. O.O

~Emachinescat ^..^