A.N. So I lied. I'm actually gonna do this idea, and then go to your ideas! Ha ha, this one is a little short, and really weird. No, I mean really weird. I got the idea from my brother's friend, so you can expect it to be just a smudge gross...
I also quite apologize, cuz I think this'll be the last one for a while, or until I get the must to continue writing this story. So I won't call this 'Complete', but don't expect me to update anytime soon. I'm sorry!
Enjoy! This is just about as stupid as they get. Literally.
Disclaimer: What! Did you just ask me? Oh, that. Um, no I don't own Twilight.
Death Eighteen: Death Shot
"Edward, have you ever been kicked in the balls?" Bella asked one day.
"Um..." How was he supposed to answer that?
"No? Oh my gosh, you have to let me kick you!" Why was she looking so happy?
"Why?" He wasn't liking where this was going.
"Well, I need to see if it hurts! I mean, you might have been kicked while you were human, but that was so long ago that you wouldn't remember the pain. And the only one who's ever gotten close to that...area is me in the past century, so we need to see if it still hurts!"
"Um..."
"I'm gonna do it with or without your consent. It'll make it easier on both of us if you just agreed to let me do this." She sure knows how to get to him. He nodded hesitantly. He stood up slowly and spread his legs.
"Just...get it over with."
She nodded with a wicked smile playing at her lips. She swung her leg back, and Edward squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the blow that he didn't know would hurt or not. But he was a little curious...
But the hit never came. He peeled an eye open, and Bella stood posed in thought. "What? Didn't you want to kick me?" Now he was really anticipating the kick. Would it hurt? Would it not hurt? Would it would it would it...
"I think I need bigger shoes..." She ran to Alice's room and was back in a flash, wearing thigh high biker boots. Edward gulped, then stood posed again.
"Ready?" she asked. He nodded, eyes closed again.
She swung back slowly, dragging out the suspense. Then she kicked.
Did it hurt? Did it not hurt? Did Edward double over in agony? Did Edward stand, still waiting for the kick?
No.
He went rigid and his face contorted in immense pain. His eyes crossed, and he fell over.
Did he get up again? Did he curl up into the fetal position?
No.
He just...laid there. His eyes were vacant. His body still. Bella was laughing too hard. Did she notice that he was dead?
Yes.
"Emmett! Emmett!" she called between gasps of breath. "You gotta come see this! You'll never believe what just happened!"