JENNIE

I was nervous.

I had chosen to work from home today, so at four me and Kuma made our way to the car. I kept my son in charge of music and Kuma tells me about a band called The 1972? Or was it The 1985?

It's Monday and I was going to join Lisa today at her session today.

"Mom..."

I turns to look at him who was staring with me one brow raised. "Yes, Kuku?"

"You haven't moved."

I frowns a bit before looking around, I bites my bottom lip when I noticed, yes, I hasn't moved from the driveway. I gives him a small smile and starts the car.

"So...?" Kuma starts.

"Soo..."

"You're driving me today." He states and I hums. He just stared at me in the familiar way he does when he's trying to piece things together, his eyes narrowed and bottom lip pushed into his mouth a bit.

"Your dada had asked for me to sit in on her session." I said, my words coming out slowly and Kuma's bores furrow in confusion.

"Can you do that? Sit in on someone's session?"

"The therapist only do that to further discuss things." I tried to explain and it just makes him frown more. I doesn't even know where to begin in explaining to him. The drive to the clinic was filled with one song after the other coming from Kuma's phone.

We walk in together, Kuma in a black hoodie and dark jeans, brown boots and his dark hair left in its I just rolled out of bed style and I resists the urge to reach it and adjust the hair.

Scratch that. I reached out and began to push the hair down, laughing as Kuma tried to duck and side step my hand. I wonders when he grew taller than me, wasn't it yesterday he was five and running around the house naked.

"Miemie stop!" He whines. Thankfully the waiting room was empty save for a girl sitting to the side, typing on her phone. So yeah, besides the nurses, it was just us so if I wanted to embarrass my son in a low key manner, I was going to.

We were still in our little playful mother on bubble when I hears a soft laughter coming from behind me. I turns, aiming her big smile at Lisa who was watching them with a fond look on her face.

Kuma makes use of this opportunity, he tried to move out of my grip. I tightens my hold on his arm, drags him down and ruffles his hair, earning another whine from him. This time Lisa laugh was louder than it had been.

Kuma finally breaks free, his cheeks and tips of his ears red as he stared at me. "It took me twenty minutes

to get my hair right." I raised a brow, amusement clear on my face.

"The I just got out of bed look?"

"The one with his hair flying in every direction?" Lisa adds and I nods.

"You two suck."

I snickers at him, pressing my lips together to keep the snickers down. Kuma stomps off towards what I thinks is the bathroom.

"Thank you for coming today." Lisa said when Kuma was gone. I push my hand into the pockets of my hoodie I had on. Just like my son, I was dressed in a bright pink hoodie and dark skinny jeans, white adidas on my feet.

"You asked and ... here I am." I replies, her smile not even dropping. I felt lighter than ever with Lisa. It felt like something heavy was being lifted off my chest and I could breathe easier.

Lisa gives me a warm smile. My ex wife was dressed in a black celine shirt, tucked into rugged jeans, her bob blonde hair with bangs. She looked good.

"Kuma's name is up and mine is just after." She said, gesturing at the large screen hanging up on the wall and true to her words, a nurse comes out and calls out Kuma's name. Kuma walks out of the bathroom, hand raised a bit. I winks at him who just shakes his head at me.

"Come on." Lisa said, leading me in the direction of Vanessa's office. The nerves that I had been feeling before came back as soon as they entered her office. I don't know what I was expecting but my first glance at the room, calms me a little.

White walls with black squares scattered here and there. A slim table and chair, painting hug up on the wall. There was a long couch pushed to the side and another smaller couch set a couple paces away. Vanessa was a tall dark skinned woman, her hair styled into a pony tail, a peach shirt tucked into a dark pencil skirt and she was barefoot. Thankfully her stockings covered her feet.

She smiles warmly when she sees me and outstretched her hand for a shake.

"Hi. I'm Vanessa Sterling." She says.

"I'm Jennie Kim," I tells her in reply. She gestured towards the small couch while Lisa takes her seat on the long. She then grabs one of the stools pushed up against the walls and sets it close to me and Lisa.

"Thank you for coming to a session."

I shrugs, my hands still in the pocket of my hoodie. "She asked and I thought about it."

"Lisa has told me, she told you about her anxiety?" Vanessa starts and I nods. I remembers when Lisa had come clean about and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. My smile falls and I takes a deep breath.

"She also told me her side of what had happened. I wanted to ask you to tell me what you believed happened the year of the divorce." Vanessa said and I bites my bottom lip a bit, taking a quick glance at Lisa who was looking at the ground.

"She was never home. She missed important dates and I had a feeling she was cheating but I didn't want to confirm it because if I did, it would have been real." I says, my voice quiet. Vanessa nods as she listens so I continues. "Kuma also knew. He was trying to tell me before the incident at McDonalds."

Lisa's head snapped up and I thinks about stopping but what's the point? I has been holding this for two years.

"I was already sad, you know? I had to take care of four kids myself and I... needed Lisa then. After the McDonalds incident, I couldn't do it anymore. I was tired of lying to myself and I ... I never hated her, she just made me so angry and so fucking sad. She had spent a year away from us to be with a new, shiny model of me. I felt like I wasn't enough, like our twenty years had been a lie, like our children wasn't worth her time, attention and love."

I stops there. I could already feel a swirl of emotion within me already and the familiar stinging sensation behind my eyes.

"Did any of you consider counseling?"

"I did." Lisa says, her voice quiet. "Our attorney back then mentioned it to me and I was willing to. He said he was going to talk to Jennie about it being an option."

I stared at Lisa with wide eyes.

"How about you, Jennie?"

"I... I didn't think about it. I just didn't want to be close to someone who hurt me like this." I said. "I was scared to bring it up because If she could cheat, she might not want to keep being married to me."

"The thing is, Ms. Manoban Ms. Kim, sometimes anxious thoughts motivate partners to act in ways stress you, strain the relationship or ruin it." Vanessa says and I just keeps biting on my bottom lip.

"You thought we could fix this? Fix is?" I asks Lisa who blinks like a deer in front of headlights. Like she couldn't believe I had asked that kind of question.

"I wanted to, yeah. You and I, Jennie, we are forever and I made a mistake, a big, stupid mistake. I just... don't want to lose you or the kids. I know that you won't forgive me but I wanted to try and I still..." she falls silent, her voice breaking towards the end.

I couldn't look away from her who had pushed her hands into her hair and was gripping tightly. It got harder for me to breathe as I watched her battle with her emotions and fears.

"Do you know any Somi Jeon?" Vanessa asked and I nods.

"Besides the time I saw her with Lisa, I met her once a couple weeks ago."

Lisa let go of her hair and raised her head so she could stare at me.

"Lisa has come clean to me during our weeks of therapy sessions. She has said a couple things that I know she hasn't told you yet. So I wanted to give you two this weeks task. And that task is to have Honesty Hour once a day."

I lets out a sigh, my gaze still resting on Lisa who doesn't look away. I fights the urge to run to her and pull her in for a tight hug. Vanessa takes a good look at us before going on.

"Pick a time and between the hour, I want you to send truths about anything to the other." Vanessa clicks her pen and presses it to her note pad. "So pick a time."

"How about 2pm?" Lisa asks.

"Can we do 9pm instead? The kids will either be asleep or busy and I don't want to be distracted or something.

"Yeah. I can do nine."

Vanessa writes something down in her notepad and snaps it close. She smiles brightly at the two of us. "Thank you for coming, Jennie"

"It was nice to meet you, Vanessa." She says. "Is the hour up?"

"Yeah. Time flies quickly in these parts." She teases. We all stand and she walks us to the door. Lisa looked a bit shaky and I really wanted to reach out. Lisa quietly tells us she was going to go to the bathroom and I gives her a little nod.

Once she was gone, I turns to Vanessa and asks. "Is she really okay?"

"Anxiety can be a tricky thing but she's okay." Vanessa says and I tried to believe her but I had seen how out of sorts Lisa had looked like halfway through the session.

"She just needs a little more time but you have my word, Lisa is fine. She's okay."

I gives her a small smile before walking away. I finds Kuma waiting, tapping his feet on the ground, his phone in his hand. He stands when he sees me.

"How was it?"

"A little intense but good. I feel better." I says honestly. I lets Kuma take my hand and lead me through the door. "How was yours?"

"It's good. Would you mind if I bring Lego? I told my therapist you went in on Dada's session." I startles at the word dada. Kuma hadn't used that word in years, and here he is, saying it like it was natural. It was, wasn't it? Shit.

"You have to ask him."

"Sure but she's going to give you a call since Lego is not old enough to decide this alone." He says and I finds myself agreeing.

"If Lego wants to go with you, it's fine."

We get into the car but I didn't move. I needed to know Lisa was alright and had half the mind to get down from the car and search for her. Thankfully, She walked out of the building, looking a bit more out together. I sighs in relief and gives me a small wave.

KUMA

I watched the two of them and I doesn't say anything. Was it weird my parents reminded me of a Coldplay song? Yellow in particular. Anytime I hears the song, I just thinks of my parents.

On our way home, I watch Mom. There was a light in her eyes that hadn't been there for a while. I doesn't know what it is about but I'm happy that it's back.

~~~~~~~~~~