Here's a little diddy my friend and I wrote instead of listening to a lecture one day in Literature. Enjoy!

P.S. Just to let you know, none of these stories really continue off of each other. It's like a series of one-shots unless otherwise stated.

Enjoy again!

- TSS

The Real Reason Gideon Left

Gideon walked into the BAU, holding a bundle of blankets in his arms. He was surely happy, almost overjoyed at whatever was inside. A far cry from last week when he was seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriend.

"Hey guys! Guess what happened last night?" He exclaimed.

"What?" Prentiss asked.

"I had a baby!" Gideon smiled.

Morgan looked at Gideon, perplexed. "Gideon, you're a dude."

"And you're single." Prentiss added.

Hotch entered the conversation. "And you're not a hermaphrodite."

Gideon opened the blanket to show off his pride and joy. "Oh, well then how do you explain THIS?!"

Prentiss threw up a little in her mouth, Morgan gagged.

"That." Hotch gagged. "Wasn't." He gagged again. "In the script." He composed himself. Hotch couldn't risk his trademark stoicism. "Wait. I mean Gideon, that's not a baby!"

Prentiss composed herself before reentering the conversation. "That a twelve inch long kidney stone!"

Out of nowhere Reid entered the hubbub. "Six pounds, two ounces to be exact."

Hotch hurried the group away. "Conference now."

Gideon followed close behind, but was promptly pushed back by Hotch. "Not you!"

Hotch, Prentiss, Morgan and Reid entered the conference room.

"Okay. Who thinks Gideon's going crazy?" Hotch offered.

JJ suddenly walked out into the mix. Where she came from is beyond comprehension, the door to the room was locked. "Press conference?" She asked hopefully.

Hotch gave her a stern look. "No. Get back in your closet."

JJ looked almost scared. "But there's rats in there."

Hotch snapped out of character. Oopsie daisy. Thomas Gibson's in the house. "AJ! Get back in the closet!"

AJ looked at him. "But last week I wasn't."

Thomas gave her a matter-of-fact look. "That's because JJ fans complained you weren't getting enough screentime. Who woulda thunk it? You have fans." He looked off screen. "We rolling still?" He paused. "Damn. Thought you stopped."

A cell phone rang off in the distance. Morgan answered his. "Hey Penelope."

Garcia looked up at her computer screens and adjusted her headset. "Heeeey chocolate thunder." She giggled then picked up a framed photo of him and slapped a big smooch on the glass. "Your favorite color is hunter green, your favorite smell is honey-glazed ham, you have a birthmark on your left buttcheek, and you just touched your left wrist."

Morgan quickly stopped touching his wrist. "Uh. Babygirl? I gotta go." He quickly hung up.

Meanwhile, Thomas and AJ were still going at it. Thomas switched back into character. "Alright J-J. Maybe you want to go clean that closet over there...."

"First you were yelling at me in character, then out of character, now you're in character not yelling at me?" AJ questioned.

"J-J." Hotch pressed.

AJ switched back into character. "Hot-tch."

"You know you can't do two syllables like I can. Now the closet needs cleaning. The BAU janitor didn't come yesterday." Hotch said. He threw JJ a can of pesticide. "Take this, it should get rid of the roaches."

"Then what will I eat?" JJ said, in a somewhat whiny tone.

"Dead roaches. Your own arm, I don't give a crap."

JJ sprayed the pesticide in Hotch's eyes.

"My eyes! My eyes!" Hotch yelled in pain. He took out his gun and shot it off in random directions. Everyone ducked and covered. "My eyes!"

One bullet smashed through the supposedly bulletproof glass and hit Gideon. He died. JJ got out her gun and shot Hotch in the leg to stop him. He dropped his gun, Reid grabbed it away.

JJ looked pleased. "That solves the problem. Score one for Jareau!" She then went back into the closet.