Between a rock and a hard place
Chapter 16. Tough decisions

After stopping by his apartment to change into something more formal, Jubal headed to 26 Fed. He knew he might run into Isobel there, and he didn't know how that might turn out, but, as she had indeed told him yesterday, he had been contacted about his statement. He wanted to clear that up, for his sake and for Isobel's. And maybe he could talk to ACID, make him change his mind.

Meanwhile, he struggled against that gloom that made him feel as if the day was cloudy and leaden even though it was, in fact, finally after many days, completely sunny. He could not let himself sink like that.

After a moment's thought, he had decided to leave the crutch at home, more because he was tired of having to use it than because he didn't need it. Besides, the extra effort would do him good to take his mind off other things.

Already on the 26th Fed, when he entered the JOC, everyone stopped what they were doing to greet him enthusiastically. Maggie gave him a brief hug, while OA and the others smilingly shook his hand, and gave him encouraging pats on the back. It was exactly like coming home. It gave his heart some relief.

After he greeted them all, Elise and Maggie took him aside.

"Have you talked to Isobel?" asked Maggie.

Jubal absently licked his lips trying not to give any hint of how fresh it was in his mind that he had done much more than talk to her. A tingling spread throughout his body before he could control it, as a heavy feeling returned to his chest.

"Yes, we've been… in touch all these days. What's going on?"

"So, you know about the video," said Elise.

Jubal sighed.

"Yeah," he answered plainly.

The three exchanged somber glances. Jubal turned his face away, uncomfortable.

Elise was scrutinizing him in a peculiar way that was making him nervous. If she had watched the whole video, she had seen his despair at witnessing what Ferkov was doing to Isobel, she had seen them hugging each other desperately afterwards. And Elise was one of the most observant people Jubal had ever met... Hell, being one was her job.

"In fact, I have come to expand on my statement. The sooner I get the matter settled the better," he added, trying to change the subject.

And he got himself into another jam, because Maggie was the one who had taken his initial statement.

"Uh-huh," Maggie replied, also looking at him carefully.

And yet she did not ask him to explain further. She only nodded, acknowledging and admiring the loyalty he showed to Isobel.

"Also," Jubal went on, "I want to talk to the ADIC about Isobel's suspension; try to bring him to his senses."

"Yes, it was very unfair," Elise opined angrily.

"This persecution of Isobel for doing her job has to stop," stated Jubal, determined. "Do you know if Reynolds is here today?"

"Isobel is talking to him now," said Maggie, "About the charges to the clients."

Jubal didn't know what she was talking about. "What's up with that?"

"Isobel didn't tell you? It's outrageous. They're pushing to leave adoption agency clients completely out of it."

Jubal was stunned. He had to blink several times. "What? No way! Why didn't you call me to tell me?" he protested. Why hadn't Isobel told him either?

Maggie looked at him puzzled. "I thought you were still in the hospital..."

Jubal shook his head in disgust.

·~·~·

"So they want to sweep it under the rug. Let them deport the girls and abandon the babies. And we're going to let them?" Isobel asked Reynolds indignantly.

"They don't want to be involved in a scandal. We're talking about very powerful people, Isobel. You know how this works."

Isobel ignored his patronizing tone. She leaned on the ADIC table with both hands.

"I don't give a damn who they are. I don't care if they are the Maharaja of Kapurthala. They should have thought of that before making use of such a shady agency. At some level they will have to be held accountable for their involvement in this," she demanded vehemently.

Reynolds stood up.

"The director is not going to like this at all, Isobel," he threatened.

"What about the Deputy Attorney General? How is Nathan going to think about the fact that he is not even counted on to make these decisions?"

Reynolds stepped back a little, looking frankly uncomfortable. Isobel began to suspect that he didn't agree to go along with it either.

"You are being very unreasonable."

"Those girls deserve justice. And we can't leave those innocent children unprotected," Isobel tried to give him arguments to get him to take her side. Faced with his stubborn expression, Isobel played her last card. "If you go through with this, I'm quitting."

The door to Reynolds' office, which was not quite closed, swung wide open, giving way to Jubal, who burst inside with long strides, albeit with a slight limp.

"Isobel has my full backing on this, sir," he frowned at Reynolds without looking at her. "If she goes, I go."

Isobel looked at him open-mouthed.

"I don't know what kind of lollipop-land you live in. The. Things. Don't. Work. LIKE THIS," Reynolds exclaimed, raising his voice.

"There has to be a way to keep them from walking away like that," Isobel insisted again.

"Threaten them with the IRS, for example," proposed Jubal.

Isobel looked at him with admiration and a swollen heart because, indeed, that might work.

But Reynolds did not budge. "If you continue to insist on this, I may be forced to dispense with your service," he declared, though his tone was curiously reproachful.

Isobel's stomach turned into a block of lead.

"Then you'll have to do without me too, sir," said Maggie from the doorway.

Isobel turned sharply and found that her four best agents were coming in.

"And without me," declared OA.

Stuart and Tiffany also joined their voices to the two of them.

But, in addition, the entire JOC was behind.

"And without us, sir," added Elise.

JOC agents, analysts and liaisons stood behind her, backing her up; a wall of crossed arms and frowns.

Jubal turned to Reynolds with an exalted and defiant expression. "You can probably replace me, sir, but," he pointed over his shoulder with his thumb in a rather assertive manner, "good luck replacing them because, each in their own specialty, they are the thirty best people at their jobs. Handpicked from all over the country."

Isobel's heart was galloping wildly in her chest, gazing at Jubal with sparkling eyes. And right then and there she had to admit that she was in love with him. Plain and simple.

She managed to turn her attention back to Reynolds. "There must be something we can do from here, sir," Isobel insisted once more, with all the momentum and strength they had given her.

Reynolds' eyes swept over them all with a grim expression. And, to everyone's surprise, he chuckled.

"All right. I will convey our concerns to the Director," he said with a somewhat wry smile. It did not escape Isobel's notice that the ADIC had said 'our' including himself in the 'mutiny'. "And now, out of my office, before I regret it and fire you all.

·~·~·

Once outside Isobel stared at Jubal. She was having trouble resisting the urge to kiss him in front of everyone else. She had to adopt her sternest expression.

"Did you organize all this?"

Undeterred, Jubal squared his shoulders. It was very clear to him that he had done the right thing. He went to retort but Maggie beat him to it:

"Jubal has come to back you up, Isobel. The rest of us just followed him."

Doing her best not to grin at Jubal like a fool, Isobel turned her face away somewhat sharply.-"Okay," she conceded, "Thank you... Thank you very much to all of you. Really," she said without looking at anyone in particular and turned on her heels towards her office, before making a serious and public mistake.

Her sudden departure left Jubal with a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. He hesitated for a moment and followed her.

Isobel was already seated behind her desk when Jubal knocked on the door.

"What are you doing here? Weren't you suspended?" he asked.

Still flustered, Isobel avoided looking directly at him. "Umm... Yes, but I had to get a couple of things done here," she replied, moving papers around her desk without much purpose.

"Can I talk to you?" he told her in a quiet voice.

"Of course, come in."

Jubal closed the door behind him. Isobel didn't let that make her nervous. Well, she tried at least. The beginnings of a smile escaped her.

"Tell me," she said, placing her hands on the table, interlacing her fingers, hiding behind her most serious and professional attitude because what Isobel wanted right now was to tear off all his clothes; of course, she would have to wait until later for that. Now she had no doubt that she wanted to meet Jubal at his house afterwards.

Unfortunately, that distant formality of hers, to Jubal was as if he were underwater drowning, trying to reach the surface, and Isobel had stepped on his head.

"I've been thinking about asking for a transfer," he said point-blank.

He had not really decided until that very moment. Jubal had gone there to talk over it with Isobel, but just had come to the conclusion that there was nothing to discuss.

It was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown in her face. Isobel froze. To right after riddle him with her look.

"What?"

"I am going to ask for a transfer."

"And may I ask why?" asked Isobel.

Her voice had sounded indignant, though she felt absolutely torn inside. A request for a transfer. Isobel would have found it almost impossible to find the words to describe how humiliated and ashamed, betrayed and hurt she felt.

Jubal's stomach twisted into a tight knot; he acknowledged the whiplash of her anger with a slight twitch in his cheek. He did not answer, just stared at the wall behind her.

"You won't even give an explanation?" Isobel asked sternly at his silence.

Although she was afraid to know the reason: that the strange… arrangement? -she didn't even know whether to call it a relationship- that they had had -that they still had?- made Jubal so uncomfortable with everything it entailed, to the point of wanting to leave.

If Jubal had not already answered, it was because he was gathering the courage to say what he had to say. Let's get this over with. He took a breath, trying unsuccessfully to get rid of the pressure in his chest.

"I have developed feelings toward you that are not suitable for our working relationship," he declared. He cursed himself internally. What a stupid way to put the matter. But this was not the moment to be sweet, exactly. "I've realized that this flows only one way. I've thought about it and I think it would be better to save us both the trouble.

Unfortunately, Isobel had stopped listening several sentences ago. She got stuck on the 'I have developed feelings towards you...' thing.

"What-? Sorry, what did you just say?" Isobel asked in bewilderment. She must have heard wrong.

"I think is better save us the trouble," Jubal repeated, trying to keep his composure despite the fact that the weight on his chest was becoming unbearable.

Isobel shook her head. "No, before that."

"That... this flows only one way," he said hoarsely. Having to say that out loud again twisted Jubal's heart with such cruelty that he could not suppress a wince of pain.

"No, the first thing you said!" Isobel despaired as Jubal's last words fell on deaf ears again. Or almost.

Jubal sighed, hurt and embarrassed. Why was Isobel doing this to him? What did she gain by humiliating him like that?

"I have developed towards you," he said in a hollow voice, "feelings that are not suit-".

"But..." Isobel interrupted him. "How...?" She lowered her eyes. The whirlwind of confusion nearly made her dizzy. She tried to put her thoughts in order but it was as if someone had consciously shuffled them around. "I thought you didn't. You don't- I supposed... I assumed that you were still- That you would be still affected by losing Rina," she stammered with an awkwardness that was very unlike her.

That added a good shovelful of guilt to Jubal's heartbreak. Because yes, he had felt horrible about that, he still did, but his heart had found a way to fall in love with Isobel in spite of it all. Maybe because of what they had both been through, how they had needed each other and healed together. Or because during the most eternal and terrible moment of his life Jubal thought he had lost Isobel too.

Or maybe it was because it had been inside him, crouched and repressed for longer than he had been aware of.

He swallowed with difficulty a lump in his throat. "Well, I can't control what I feel," he replied flatly, opening his hands in a sincere gesture.

"Would you leave your position at the JOC... because of me?" gasped Isobel, still utterly confused.

"I love my job, you know that." He sighed. Just the thought of leaving all that was already painful. "But... I care more about you."

"This flows only one way..." Isobel repeated in a whisper with wide eyes.

Jubal clenched his jaws. "You've rejected every sign of affection I've tried to show you... -he muttered with a shrug, his eyes wet despite how hard he was trying to remain calm. "It's obvious you don't feel the same as…" But he trailed off as became aware of Isobel's stunned face, which he took with deep dismay as she was not being able to believe what she was hearing.

Was it that far-fetched? Whatever. What's the point if she doesn't love you? he wondered rhetorically and bitterly.

Actually, Isobel's expression was so perplexed because she was realizing that she had made a mistake. A terrible, catastrophic mistake. Her mind was recalling each and every moment when she had withdrawn from his touch, his glances or his attentions... because she had thought that the way they affected her was, however unintentional on his part, simply unjustified on hers.

The silence became unbearable for Jubal.

"Surely it would be best if I go," he muttered, his heart shattered in pieces.

He prayed that the transfer would not take much to take effect, because he didn't know how long he could stand to be around Isobel in that situation. He turned to walk out the door.

That pain in Jubal's eyes just before he left jolted Isobel like an electric shock, snapping her out of her stupor. She sat up like a spring.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, and Jubal stopped; half-turning, he looked at her warily.

She almost stumbled to get to him. However, her feet refused to go any further before she was at too close a distance.

"But... do you want to leave?" she protested, breathing heavily.

Jubal's heart shrank as he saw the despair in the depths of Isobel's eyes. It took him aback. It suddenly reminded him of what he was willing to do and suffer for Isobel. The ordeal they had been through together at Shaslivaya Vestrecha was proof of that. Jubal would endure torture for her, would kill for her... He would die for her.

"No, I don't want to leave," Jubal answered, almost panting. "Would you want me to stay?" he asked in a deep voice.

The words of encouragement Isobel wanted to say refused to come out of her mouth. Holding her breath, she looked up and, for once, allowed all the affection she felt for him to spill out of her eyes.

That unexpected flood brought back to Jubal what Isobel had whispered to him the night before. It clearly echoed inside his head: If anyone has the right... it's you.

Having trouble keeping his hopes under control, which had risen roaring in the most senseless way, he took a step toward her.

"It doesn't matter. I'll stay," he declared with immovable resolve even though rejection remained a heartbreakingly real possibility.

Isobel almost didn't let him finish. "Have I ever told you...?" she asked in a warm murmur, looking at him with narrowed eyes as if trying to decipher something fascinating. The air caught in Jubal's throat, not knowing what to expect. "...how much I adore how brave you are?" she concluded, as slowly, somewhat hesitantly, placed her hand on his cheek, her bright eyes stars in the darkest night sky.

A smile suddenly lit up Jubal's face, euphoria bursting inside him like a firework. As he drew her to him, he captured her mouth at once. Isobel didn't think twice to respond to that impetuous kiss... and she did so with all her heart.

·~·~·

"You know?" OA was saying, smiling. "This thing we just did was the most satisfying act of insubordination I have ever committed."

His three other fellow agents, along with Elise, Ian, Hobbs and Kelly, chuckled.

Everyone else had returned to the JOC, but they had ended up gathered around the desks of the first ones, near Isobel's office.

"We were right to support them," said Maggie.

There were indeed satisfied nods.

"It was the right thing to do," Ian agreed.

"It reminded me of a play they made me read in high school, in Spanish class: 'Fuenteovejuna'" commented Scola with a smile. [Who killed the Knight Commander!?]" he played in heavily accented Spanish, pointing his index finger, and then answered himself: "[Fuenteovejuna, sir-!]"

"Woah!" exclaimed Tiffany suddenly with eyes like saucers looking behind him.

The others turned to where she was looking.

Through the glass window of the SAC office, Jubal and Isobel could be seen embracing. He was holding her around the waist, while she cupped his face with one hand… and they were kissing passionately.

Almost everyone's jaws hung slack in surprise. All but two people.

With a slight start, as if she had just realized what she was doing, Isobel broke away from Jubal, who stared at her in awe as if she was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Outside, everyone managed to react and dissimulate in time, turning to the nearest person or screen. By the time Isobel checked to see if anyone had seen them, no one was looking in their direction.

"Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw that?" Tiffany whispered tensely, leaning over Stuart's desk.

"Damn you were the only one!" he exclaimed between his teeth, still astonished, staring blankly at his monitor.

Hobbs and Kelly were pretending to discuss something in the former's tablet with eyebrows raised in shock and struggling to contain their laughter.

OA was biting his lips with his eyes too wide as he nodded at the impressive poker face of Ian who, on the other hand, had completely lost his speech, making OA's gesture somewhat out of place.

Maggie and Elise, on the other hand, exchanged a knowing glance and smiled truly pleased.

~The End~