A/N: Thanks for all the well-wishes guys! I really appreciate it and I'm feeling much, much better now! :) Enjoy!
Reflections
Chapter Eighteen (The Real One): The Changeling Part 3 of 3
Okay, I think I've figured out the problem with not being able to update this on time. I stress myself out with this story because, well, I have this OCD nature that says I have to comment on every single, itty bitty, minute occurrence in an episode and I'm driving myself MAD trying to mention everything. This is why I'm going to try (keyword here is try, I really don't know if I'll be able to do it) to not go into intimate little details of every stinking occurrence and gloss over some stuff. Maybe this way I'll be able to update more often and (hopefully) still amuse you guys! But…we'll see how it works out. And I'm also going to start putting my thoughts on the dialogues in bold because it's sometimes hard to decipher between what's being said, what's stage directions, and what I'm saying about the quote. Capuche?
So, where did we leave off last time…? Right – Merlin sees Professor Sprout catching flies by the lake! Ew. So not only is Pamona Sprout a professor, a super-secret spy, and a nanny, but she's also a frog, too! Wow, she's living a quadruple life – like Hannah Montana on steroids or something! *sigh* Please don't hesitate to throw things at me if I ever make another HM reference in this story, even if it is to make fun of it. I can't bear the shame! WAA!
Merlin runs back to Camelot and tells Gaius about his findings, after which Gaius (who is officially the most epic old dude ever) decides that he, too, is going to play ninja spy of doom and sneaks into Elena and Sprouts' chambers to try and uncover some clue as to what kind of magical creature has infiltrated Camelot. My guess is that Professor Sprout got bitten by a radioactive frog (wait… do frogs have teeth?). It turned her into super-ugly frogwoman and now she's got to use her crazy sticky tongue powers of doom to bring evil lying she-witches of DOOM to justice. But… if that's the case, why is Professor Sprout acting like she's on the Sidhe's side? Surely she's not thinking about joining the dark side?
*cups hand to ear* What's this you're trying to tell me? It's not actually Professor Sprout but the ACTRESS that plays the herbology teacher in Harry Potter? YOU LIE! It IS Professor Sprout and she IS undercover and she IS NOT evil and she WILL save the day! *breathes deeply* Got it? Alright, moving on!
How am I doing on the glossing over of certain parts? Do you think that I'm going to be able to succeed in my "let's not drive Lizzie mad by doing a play-by-play of every time Gaius scratches his bum, Gwen blows her nose, or Arthur sniffs his underarms" plot! (What? You know they do it!)
Ahem.
So… Gaius sneaks into their chambers and starts snooping – and he finds the sparkle dust! Whee! Maybe this means that Professor Sprout will finally open up and tell Gaius her true identity and her plan and how she was bitten by a radioactive frog and now uses her frog powers to save innocents from EEEVIIIL! Well, that doesn't happen, but what does occur is even more hilarious and awkward for poor Gaius so I'm not going to complain!
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: (walks into the room, straightens her shawl when she sees Gaius standing awkwardly in the middle of the room) Can I… help you? (And I'm thinking, "Please don't be insinuating what I think you're insinuating…")
GAIUS: (poor guy looks SOO awkward) I…uh…
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: Something you need, perhaps? (Oh, please no, keep your mind AWAY from that school of thought, Liz, no way Sprout's thinking like that…)
GAIUS: I would like to inquire whether Princess Elena would like a perfume concocted. (Oooh, good lie, Gaius! You should teach Merlin how to do that properly sometime, the poor kid stammers like mad when he's telling a lie, except when it has to do with his magic. And then he's like… alter ego or something. Emrys: World Saving Warlock Extraordinaire. I like the sound of that. He could wear a cape. Holy cow! You know what I just realized? Merlin's like the only person in the show who's never worn a cloak! Even Gwen's worn one, and she's a servant, too! Well, I don't think Gaius has either, but he doesn't count because I'm trying to make a point. Or maybe BBC is just prejudice against anyone that lives in Gaius's side of the castle. Hum. Either way, I'd like to see Merlin in a cape or cloak. Maybe THAT would help his stalking skills – he got himself caught quickly in 3x01, if you'll remember, but Morgana NEVER gets caught if she's got her hood on over her head, even if she's wearing bright colors! And then – oh wait. I'm digressing again, aren't I? Pooh. Am I EVER going to learn how to get my point across without rambling like a fool? *sigh* I do, try, though, and I often wonder what you all think of my senseless prattle. Do you just skip over it? Or do you read it and think, "This is lame?" or do you read it and say, "I love hamsters." Hmm… DRAT! More digressing.) Essence of lavender, perhaps?
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: That is a very bad excuse. (Oh, drat. Because I thought it was a very good excuse. I'm losing my touch… WHY?)
GAIUS: (looks pitiful) Really? (Don't worry, G, I still believe in you! You're still the most epic old dude ever in my book, and you always will be!)
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: (walks closer) You don't fool me one minute. (Gaius looks nervous) You were looking… for me. (Gaius looks downright scared – Oh no, this is bad! I think she's thinking what I think she's thinking and what I think she's thinking is something I do NOT what to be thinking I'm thinking about! Wait… what?)
GAIUS: I… was. (He looks like he's going to bolt and I don't blame him one bit! This woman is advancing on him as if she's a lioness and he's the very last gazelle – Gaius the Gazelle – on the face of the earth! RUN, GAIUS GAZELLE, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, I THINK PROFESSOR SPROUT'S FINALLY LOST HER MIND!)
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: I understand (touches his face… AHHH, please please please… NOO, stop insinuating things, Sprout, things that should be left ETERNALLY UNINSINUATED! Gaius tries to escape but to no avail) It's alright.
GAIUS: I think probably I should be going… (yes, get out of there Gaius while you still can!)
SPROUT/GRUNHILDA: Elena won't be back for ages. (No, please, stop, just stop right there, Sprout… Grunhilda… whoever the heck you are! Just STOOOOP! She lies down on the bed, quirks her eyebrows and tries to look sexy, which just happens to make me want to barf and from the look on Gaius's face, he shares my sentiments.) Why don't you and I… make sweet perfume… together? (SHE WENT THERE! Blech, BLUH! EEWWW! So gross… oh I can never unheard that, no matter how much I want to… YUCK! The pain, the horror! Can we move on now? Please?)
I shall never mention that incident again in the hopes that eventually time will help heal the gaping wound created in my mind, heart, and jugular because of that disturbing image and even more disturbing insinuation. That's worse than the troll-love in season 2 – and that's saying something! At least Uther had it coming to him – poor Gaius is just an innocent bystander that's caught the eye of a lonely old professor/frogwoman/super secret spy ninja of doom/nanny/pixie…
Oh yeah, Gaius tells Merlin afterwards (I'm assuming Gaius found a way out of that aforementioned, never again to be spoken of situation, because if not… *shudders* My brain just fried just in the contemplation of contemplating it…) that she's a pixie because the sparkly stuff is pixie dust and apparently pixies are servants of the Sidhe and like old men! I'm SOOO confused! I thought pixies were tiny and cute and wore short little leaf-dresses and had sparkle magic that made you fly if you think wonderful thoughts and that they liked young men that never want to grow up and live in Neverland and wear tights? You know, Tinkerbell? She's a pixie! And in that spin-off of Peter Pan, Disney's Pixie Hollow movies – yes, I've seen them, I have two little sisters, alright? – those fairies are pixies! But… GRUNHILDA? (I've decided that she is NOT Professor Sprout, she's far too clingy and needy. Sprout doesn't need a man in her life. Grunhilda's just pathetic. Anywhat…) I just don't understand how GRUNHILDA of all people is a pixie? I like the Peter Pan version WAAAY better!
I'm not going to go through the whole conversation between Gaius and Merlin, but I will say that Merlin agrees with me. At one point, he says, "She likes you? Oh, that's disgusting! Imagine… imagine if she kissed you! Ugh!" Gaius seems offended by this but I'm raising my hand up in the air going, "Amen, brother! A-freakin'-men!"
Later on, Gwen is waiting on Uther, Morgana, and Arthur while they have dinner. Arthur tries to bring up the subject of Elena to Uther, tries to tell him that he doesn't love her and he can't go through with the marriage. Uther pretty much tells him, "Tough luck," and that he WILL propose to her and that they WILL live happily ever after. During the exchange, Morgana keeps looking back and forth between Arthur and Gwen who keep glancing mournfully at each other and her eyes light up… Oh dear… this can't be good!
Merlin, on his part, is doing some serious snooping. It's night time again (I get a little confused with it being daylight and then night but I guess there's a time lapse or something there.) He is watching through the little grate in the wall as Elena turns into the fairy-face for a minute and then Grunhilda sprinkles more pixie dust on her. He is so shocked by this transformation (and come on, wouldn't you be, too?) that he falls of the little end table thingy he's standing on and makes a racket. Ah, Merlin, you are SO clumsy. Spr—I mean Grunhilda comes out to see him running away… drat. Merlin really needs to work on his sneaking skills… I think I've already mentioned that once in this post… well, it's true. I'm telling you, he needs a cloak!
So he runs back to Gaius and Gaius puts two and two together and says that Elena is a changeling – she has a fairy living inside of her! And Merlin says, "Whoa… that can't be good for her indigestion… that explains a lot!" Okay, so Merlin doesn't say that but I would have. But Gaius does say that it explains a lot – her clumsiness and rudeness, for example. He declares a research party (something that Hermione Granger is always dragging Harry and Ron into in the Harry Potter books, coincidentally) to find a way to force the fairy out of Elena! Woo hoo – research time! Merlin, on his part, does not look pleased.
The next scene REALLY gets my goat. And I may have mentioned this in a previous post but I REALLY do not understand that phrase. First of all, I don't have a goat, and if I did have a goat, what would someone taking my goat have to do with how I'm SO angry at Morgana for being a selfish, horrible, awful, terrible, evil lying she-witch of doom?
So here's the deal: Morgana's figured out that Gwen and Artie have a thing for each other. So she brings it up to Gwen, acts like she's sympathetic and wants them to be together, but then slowly dashes her hopes by telling her that they can't change centuries of tradition just for their love. And what is her reasoning in doing this? I honestly don't think there is any. It seems like she's just doing this to be malicious, and Gwen is almost in tears. After Gwen leaves, Morgana smirks and I want to smack that smug, over-used grin right off her face!
(WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENTER RANT-ZONE. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.)
How could she? How could she? She and Gwen used to be FRIENDS! They used to be like sisters. Morgana would do anything for Gwen and vice versa! They defied the laws of master/servant relationships and set an example, a precedent for the Arthur/Merlin friendship we know will eventually bud. And then she does THIS? She makes Gwen CRY because she wants to crush her dreams of being with the man she loves? Is Morgana REALLY that heartless that she can stand to see her former friend, a girl that still trusts her with her life, suffer just because she has control over that suffering? Has she no CONSCIENCE? Has she no HEART? Has she no EGG NOG? Eh… sorry… got carried away there.
But seriously. I HATE this Morgana. I miss the old one. Even the wishy-washy maybe I'll kill Uther, maybe I won't Morgana of season 2! Grrr…. this is SO not cool!
(YOU CAN BREATHE AGAIN. RANT OVER.)
Merlin and Gaius have apparently been at their research party of not-so-much-doom for quite a while because Merlin looks like he's ready to faint from exhaustion, boredom, or a grisly combination of the two when he moans, "I think my brain is going to burst…eyes pop right out of their sockets." Oh no, Merlin! Don't let that happen! Your eyes are so pretty! *sigh* Uh… right.
Gaius finds a solution in the last book they look in (of COURSE it's the last book they look in, that's luck for you, eh?) and he's going to make a potion that'll force the fairy out of Elena, but it'll take some time. Apparently the Sidhe have wanted one of their own as queen for a while now and that can't be allowed to happen. So Gaius is going to start finding ingredients so he can do his thing and mix them all up and SHABANG! Fix Elena!
Switching scenes again. Gwen approaches Arthur and they talk about what will happen if he does marry Elena. I'm not going to make fun of this love scene for two reasons: (1) I promised Kitty O and I don't want Gwen to cry and (2) I actually cried during this scene. It made me so sad and it was so sweet! Like when Arthur's like, "Is what I want really that insane?" and Gwen says something along the lines of, "Yep, to everyone but us" (although I know Merlin's on their side, so why doesn't she include him… oh right, because this is a romantic moment) and Arthur says, "Then I'm happy being insane!" At those words, I started bawling! Bradley's such a good actor and he and Angel have a lot of chemistry on screen (though, admittedly, not as much as Angel and Santiago, but Lancelot's not here right now so let's leave that little subplot alone, shall we?)
The proposal… well this is going to be one of those "gloss over" moments I mentioned before. I'm not really going into it. I'll just say that it's very sweet because we see Gwen watching, Morgana smirking, Arthur struggling with himself… and it's so sad because we love Gwen, Arthur, and Elena and we know that none of them are happy with the situation. Regardless, Artie proposes and I want to punch Uther for putting all of them into this situation in the first place.
Merlin finds the last ingredient, this little plant that grows right in the middle of boggy, marshy terrain (as Merlin reminds us, covered in mud and glaring ruefully at the plant, "Right in the middle!" – that was SO incredibly adorable and if anyone thinks otherwise they need to be attacked by a whack-a-mole hammer) and they concoct the potion. But…
There's trouble a'brewing at the Lake of Avalon, AKA the Sidhe Lake, AKA Freya's lake... right? I'm not sure about that, actually. I know that the sword lake and the Freya lake are the same, but is it the Lake of Avalon? Or is it some other random lake? Ah… I dunno.
See, Grunhilda, formerly known as Professor Sprout, saw that it was Merlin who was spying on them. She tells the main Sidhe dude – you remember, the one that wanted Arthur to be sacrificed if Sophia was to gain passage into Avalon? – about it and at first he's like, "So what?" And then when she tells him that Merlin is the prince's servant… well, he gives this long speech about how Merlin is going to know the wrath of the Sidhe and how he's going to rue the day he ever angered them and all that claptrap.
He zips on over to Camelot with the intention of offing Merlin but Merlin's too awesome for that and what Sidhe man didn't count on was Merlin having a Sidhe staff under the loose floorboard under his bed. Merlin, after dodging a few bolts of light, zaps the Sidhe guy into oblivion – thank goodness, that guy was really starting to get on my nerves! Sadly, in the scuffle, Merlin also manage to knock over and break the vial with Elena's potion in it… but Gaius thinks he can make some more before the wedding the next day. *crosses fingers* Let's hope so!
The day of the wedding arrives and it seems that Arthur's not the only reluctant one here. Elena, too, expresses her concerns to Grunhilda, who says something about how given half a chance, she'd definitely marry Arthur herself. Yuck! So now she's a pedophile, too? Gross. This is definitely not Professor Sprout and I am certainly liking her less and less by the second.
Gaius gets the potion finished and he and Merlin concoct a scheme to get the potion to Elena without Grunhilda knowing. In the end, they use Gaius for bait and he lures her down to the vaults (Grunhilda, not Elena, obviously), where, right as she tries to kiss him after making another horribly disturbing insinuation involving how they were finally going to become one (EEEEWWWW! SO nasty! I'm not even going to comment beyond that, that's just WRONG! Blech!), Gaius scoots off and Merlin locks her in the vaults. Woot!
All for pretty much nothing though. Grunhilda uses her mad pixie skillz to escape and catches up with them right as they're about to go make Elena take the potion. Merlin keeps her busy (in this case, keeping her busy means blasting her continuously with the Sidhe staff – apparently he really likes blowing people up with that thing, geez!) while Gaius tries to get Elena to drink the potion. Apparently it tastes pretty bad and she keeps getting distracted and Gaius is too nice to just scream, "Elena, drink the flippin' potion, you dolt!"
Finally, after Merlin turns Grunhilda to smithereens (while Ulfric and Sophia turned to dust after just one hit, Grunhilda's like one of those boss levels in video games where you have to blast them multiple times before they die. And yes. I am also a bit of a video game nerd. But only when it comes to Kingdom Hearts. Otherwise, I'm not. Buuut… anyway, again with the digressing.), he runs in, sees that Elena still hasn't drunk the potion, and he says, "Elena, this is going to make you feel a whole lot better!" after which he holds her nose, tilts her head back, and pours the stuff in her mouth. I bet there's a law against that. Since nobles and servants can't even be friends, it's probably not legal for them to force-feed each other fairy juice either, but, hey, what the heck?
After she drinks it, Elena promptly passes out and the fairy comes out of her and Merlin blows it up with the Sidhe staff. Geez, doesn't that staff have any other setting? Maybe electrocute or machine gun mode or something? Always with the blowing things up. This is getting a tad monotonous.
When she wakes up, her elocution is perfect, her balance is perfect, her hair is perfect, and she's just all around perfect. She feels better, which is good, but I kind of miss the old Elena. Oh well, I'm sure her charm and sweetness and awesomeositude (He-ey, Tianne!) is still there even if she does have better manners now! She says, "Where's Grunhilda?" and Merlin and Gaius look at each other before comically intoning simultaneously (wow, that sounded intellectual!), "We'll… look into it." HA!
The next scene is right before the wedding and I love it to bunches! It's another scene that showcases the future that will be – Merlin as Arthur's advisor! It's so awesome!
MERLIN: I brought you your ceremonial sword. (Arthur has a CEREMONIAL sword? Why can't he use a regular sword? And is there a rule against fighting with a ceremonial sword? What if bandits attack during the wedding? What is he to do, then? Can he make an exception and fight with the ceremonial sword or does he have to find a regular fighting sword before he can defend himself and his bride? And what the heck is a weevil anyway?)
ARTHUR: For me to fall on? (Aw, Arthur, don't be that way! Sure, you're being forced to marry against your will, and sure, you can never be with the love of your life, but hey… you've got… well… Merlin as a friend/advisor and your father… well, okay, you've got Merlin.)
MERLIN: Hopefully not! What's wrong? (I'm hoping this is one of those moments where you know what's wrong but you feel you have to ask out of politeness or obligation because if Merlin really couldn't figure out what was wrong, I'd be a little concerned. After all, it's moments before his forced marriage to a girl he doesn't love. Doesn't take a genius to figure that one out, does it?)
ARTHUR: You wouldn't understand, Merlin. (Wow, no Merlin! He must REALLY be upset!) You have no idea what it's like to have a destiny… you can't escape. (AHAHAHAHAHAHA – that's a good one, Artie, that's so funny, wow, you're such a kidder, haha – wait. You were…serious?)
MERLIN: (Gets this look on his face that says, "Ha, now we're speaking my language!") Destinies… are troublesome things. You feel trapped. Like your whole life has been planned out for you and you've got no control over anything and sometimes you don't even know if the destiny decided… is really the best thing at all. (Whoa. Go Merlin! Dude! That was an epic speech where we see once again the depth of his underlying wisdom and the stress he goes through every day! Wowsers!)
ARTHUR: (He gives Merlin this look that says, "What the crap? Who are you and what did you do with Merlin?" and also like he's seeing Merlin or a side of him that's new… different… wiser…) How come you're so knowledgeable? (I know I've said this before but I can't WAIT for Arthur to find out about Merlin!)
MERLIN: Oh… I read a book. (Way to go there, hotshot. That'll convince him.)
ARTHUR: (Does NOT look like he believes Merlin at all) What would this book tell her? Should I marry her? (Oh my gosh! Is this Arthur asking Merlin, his advisor to be, what to do? I think it is! *does happy dance of doom* This is just epic! Woohoo!)
MERLIN: That's not really my place to say, Sire. (Wow, since when does Merlin care about what his place is? He certainly didn't care when he called Artie a dollop head, haha!)
ARTHUR: I'm asking you. (Oh my corn on the cob! He IS asking Merlin for advice! He even admitted it! This is just too wonderfulicious!) It's your job to answer.
MERLIN: If you really want to know what I think… (Arthur nods, seems he really needs Merlin's wisdom in this case – this is awesomesauce with a side of sweetocity!) I think you're mad, I think you're all mad, people should marry for love, not convenience. And if Uther thinks an unhappy king makes for a stronger kingdom then he's wrong because you may be destined to rule Camelot but you have a choice… as to how you'll do it. (At this point, my jaw is currently on the floor from the sheer awesomeness! And Arthur gets this look on his face and you just know that he is impressed and really thinking about and considering Merlin's answer. It's awesome! And I think Merlin should get a point for his whole "you're mad" thing… so I'm giving it to him.)
And then the doors open and it's time for the wedding! Elena looks great, by the way, a very pretty bride… but not for Arthur. In fact, Arthur stops the wedding. He tells Elena how beautiful and kind and wonderful she is, but he doesn't love her. And she agrees. It kind of reminded me of the wedding scene in Princess Diaries 2, when Mia and that one noble guy agree not to get married and he looks at her after she says she doesn't want to marry him and mouths, "Thank you!" Haha, that was a great movie! If you haven't seen it you should watch it sometime… but anyway, the moral of this rant is that arranged marriages suck and that Julie Andrews plays an awesome Queen! Uhh… anyway…
So the wedding gets called off. Godwin doesn't seem to put out by it, but Uther's furious but Arthur puts him in his place, telling him he's going to rule Camelot beside a woman he loves. He's being such a parrot right now but at least Merlin knows that Arthur agrees with his sentiments.
The episode ends sweetly, with some "Arwen" as Arthur and Gwen tease each other about how he's now a single man and he wants to find someone even lovelier than Elena. Gwen says she doesn't know of such a woman and Arthur's like, "Neither do I." It's really cute, and after they pass each other he does a little hop/skip thing that I interpreted as a happy dance.
AW, maybe this romance stuff isn't all that terrible after all.
Stats:
Burn Meter 5000:
Part 3: Arthur 0, Merlin 1
This Episode so Far: Arthur 2, Merlin 6
Total: Arthur 30, Merlin 36
Shirtless Arthur Scenes:
Part 3: 0
This Episode so Far: 0
Total: 3
Smirk-O-Meter
Part 3: 5
This Episode so far: 5
Total: 36
A/N: Okay, maybe I didn't do so well on the whole glossing over thing. I tried, though, but I'm just such a blabbermouth… more craziness for you guys though, I suppose lol! Please REVIEW and I'll be back with part one of Castle of Freian or Freyan or however the heck it's spelled lol! Until then, well, review, enjoy take your monkey to work day, throw Cheerios at your neighbor's dog, or something equally as pointless. Bwahaha! Review and have a great week! :)
~Emachinescat ^..^