It's been awhile. But, hey, here it goes again! This oneshot is a bit more serious than the others, and you might not laugh at it, but it's still very quirky and enjoyable. I promise you that.

"So, what are you doing this weekend Jayje?" Garcia asked her fellow blonde colleague as they sat in J.J.'s office playing the Game of Life, drinking Diet Pepsi, and eating pizza.

J.J. was supposed to be doing work, choosing the next case and all, but decided that she deserved a break – and invited the team to a pizza party in her office. Rossi "lost" his invitation, Hotch genuinely had to go see his kid, Morgan hadn't been seen in three days, Prentiss was at the hair salon getting her bangs trimmed, and Reid was having lunch with William Shatner after winning a Star Trek coloring contest. Garcia was the only one who actually RSVPed with either a "Yes" or "HELL FREAKIN' YES!" as specified by the invitation emails.

"I'm thinking of taking Henry to the pool and teaching him how to swim, or getting him a puppy, or buying him a cute little T-shirt with a cheesy saying on it." J.J. replied after adding a blue peg to her van piece with one hand and shoving a whole slice of pizza in her mouth with the other.

"Why don't you ever go anywhere with Will? All you talk about is Henry."

J.J. tore the spinner off the board and threw it at Garcia. "Don't you ever say that name again!"

"Henry?"

"No."

"Will?"

"SHUT UP!" J.J. responded, throwing the entire board at Garcia – who used a pizza box as a shield.

"What's your issue?"

"Will's gone. He disappeared last Tuesday. I haven't gone to find him, or report him missing."

"Why?"

"He left a note saying he'd gone out to get some donuts, and never came back. I think he's cheating on me." J.J. replied, tears in her eyes.

"That's serious Jayje. Have you tried calling him on his cell?"

"Yeah. It just keeps ringing. It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing!"

"Well that means he isn't talking to a secret lover sugarplum." Garcia offered before her ringing cell phone cut into the conversation, she answered it. "Penelope Garcia with a Capital Goddess, how may I help you?"

"Garcia?"

"Will?" Garcia asked, glancing over at J.J. who stayed completely still in shock.

"J.J. won't answer her phone. She locked me out of the house, then stole my keys and put bars on the windows. She won't even let me see Henry. I think she's going through some sort of post partum depression. Can you talk to her? You're her best friend, right?"

"Yeah. I will...talk to you later." Garcia concluded before ending the call and turning to face her friend. "I just got off the phone with Will. He says you locked him out of the house, stole his keys, and then put bars on the windows."

"Yeeeeah. About that. He's a vampire, I can't let him into the house. He'll slaughter me, Henry, and the nanny." J.J. informed with an utterly straight face.

"There's no such thing as vampires honey."

"Then explain why Kevin told me he was a member of the new resistance against vampires, demons and the forces of darkness – and that he was placed into this office and given a new identity via a magic spell."

Garcia tried to speak up.

"Or why Will came up to the door of the house the other night, holding a dead body, and saying that being undead was the best thing that ever happened to him."

"Kevin is a member of an MMORPG with me, the plot is to fight against vampires, demons and the forces of darkness. His character was just accepted into a new guild, and he just upgraded via a magic spell."

Suddenly, Will's face popped up on J.J.'s computer screen via videochat – she almost fell backwards in her chair from the shock. "J.J. I said being a dad was the best thing that ever happened to me. And the dead body was a four-foot tall stuffed Bob the Builder for Henry."

"Ohhh. That doesn't explain why you had fangs that were dripping blood...."

"Exactly my point." Will replied, upon suddenly appearing in J.J.'s office. His face then eerily morphed into the slightly grotesque one of a demon, and fangs appeared. He snarled. "It's feedin' time Miss FBI."

The office door then fell apart revealing a petite spunky blonde lowering her leg from the impact, and Kevin armed with a mini crossbow.

"It's dusting time for you!" Kevin quipped before pressing the trigger, sending the arrow into Will's chest.

"Owww! Why do I have to be a vampire again?" Will asked, looking down at the arrow.

"CUT!" Reid yelled from behind the camera. "Because you're evil."

"And why am I Xander, why can't I be Angel or something?" Kevin asked.

"Shut up Kevin." Reid said before pointing to Rossi holding the boom mic. "You need to lower that a bit more!" He then pointed towards the blonde girl next to Kevin, "Patty, give it more umph! J.J. give it more feeling! Garcia, say your lines next time!"

"The cue cards are messed up." She replied, casting a glance at Hotch who was holding up his illegible scribble that somehow passed for words.

"What's up with your makeup anyway Will? You look like you've been on a beach, you're supposed to be undead!" Reid glared at him, then at Prentiss, who was holding a makeup kit.

"Dr. Reid, I still have an arrow in my chest." Will informed the cranky director of the short fan film while his complexion noticeably growing paler.

"Shut up. Nobody likes you anyway." Reid replied, getting up, snatching the crossbow from Kevin and shooting Will again.

"Those weren't real arrows right?" J.J. queried, panic evident on her face.

"Just like that Redskins game gave me a real chance at winning you over." Reid finished, throwing his call sheet down on the floor and storming out in a hissy fit.

DOCTOR SPENCER REID, PHD's CALL SHEET

Dr. Spencer Reid, PhD - Director

Aaron Hotchner - Cue Card Holder

David Rossi - Boom Mic Operator

Emily Prentiss - Hair and Makeup Artist

Agent Anderson ("DeskMan") - Cameraman

Patty from Legal Affairs ... Buffy

Kevin Lynch ... Xander

William LaMontagne, Jr. ... Evil Vampire

Jennifer "J.J." Jareau ... Victim/Wife of Evil Vampire

Penelope Garcia ... Victim's Friend