A/N: I was supposed to update much earlier than this, but school has been brutal because it's the last few weeks before summer break… So… sorry! XD But, good news is, once finals are over, this should be updated at least three or four times a week! :) Now… onto the show! Thanks for the reviews and please continue to do so!
Reflections
Chapter Twenty-Four: The Eye of the Phoenix Part 3
STOP – It's Gwaine time! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah-nah, can't touch this!
So sorry, couldn't resist. Because…
GWAINE'S HERE!
Gwaine, hi, Gwaine! Hey Gwaine, I saved you a seat right next to me, come sit by me! You can bring Merlin, too, and he can sit on the other side! Arthur can join the magic circle of awesomosity, too, and I guess Lance can come, but he has to promise not to be emo, 'kay?
Seriously – my roommate and I have decided that in season 4, Lancelot's going to have emo bangs. There's nothing wrong with that, not really, except that Lancelot is a knight and he's supposed to be tough and all GRR but instead… he's kind of whiny and melodramatic. In the words of my brilliant roommate, Cat, as she rants about how much she can't stand Lancelot:
"I don't want Lancelot. He's too whiny. I mean, come on: *assumes mock Lancelot voice* 'Oh woe is me, I can't be a real knight so I'm going to go off and prove myself by falling into a pit of despair in which I fight off giant rats of doom and almost get myself and the woman I love killed. Horrifically.' Waa waa waa, blah, blah, blah."
That's an exact quote, too.
I love my roomie.
Anyway, I'm not sure how we got on that little aside there. I was talking about how awesome Gwaine is (because he *is*) and then I started complaining about how Lance whines too much. Hmm. Well, I can honestly say that Lancelot isn't in this episode at all, but Gwaine is, so I shall save all further Lancelot ranting for SPOILER ALERT episode 13. I will say this, though – I don't totally hate Lancelot. I just wish he'd stop pining for Gwen and get on with his life. Also, it would be nice if he didn't cause Arthur's downfall because he broke his heart by smooching with his wife. And no, I can't see the future (or can I?), but I do know the legends. And Lancelot needs to find himself a girl that isn't already taken by the prince – hopefully soon to be king – of freaking Camelot! Sheesh!
*shifty eyes* What's this? Oh, I'm supposed to be waiting to rant about Lancelot until he actually shows up so he can defend himself against my accusations/words/name-calling? Right. Sorry about that.
On with the episode (because Gwaine's more fun to talk about anyway)! AND I don't have to rant about Gwaine – ever! Do you know why Gwaine is so perfectly amazing?
BECAUSE HE IS GWAINE. PERIOD.
I mentioned last chapter that Merlin finds Gwaine to take with him on his quest to save Arthur from the perilous perils of the perilously perilous Perilous Lands, right? Well, where, you might ask, does Merlin go searching for Gwaine?
Where else?
*raises Nerf sword in the air heroically* To the tavern! Hazzah!
Then again, what do you expect? It is Gwaine, after all.
Merlin walks into a tavern and some guy is being slid down the table. Dishes are flying, things are being thrown, people are yelling… and he looks down, and lo and behold, guess who we have here?
GWAINE!
Gwaine, guess what? I made you a button that has our pictures on it and it says "Best Friends" because that's what we are! And guess what else? I bought you a plushie of Charlie the Unicorn because I know you like him! And I painted a plastic spork in your likeness! It's quite possibly the most moving piece of art I've ever done. You should be honored.
So apparently the reason that these tavern-dwellers are using the table as a slip and slide for our dear Gwaine is because he owes them money. He probably borrowed money so that he could take me out to an awesome dinner at The Hog's Head. And because he owes them money. He probably borrowed money so that he could take me out to an awesome dinner at The Hog's Head. And YES, just like Gaius can go to Hogsmeade and party hardy, so can Gwaine. Why? (HINT: the answer should be fairly obvious by now.)
Because he's Gwaine!
So basically, Merlin and Gwaine have to run for their lives because Gwaine doesn't have the money to pay them back. Don't worry, they get away, though – no Mafia type blood debt to be paid today… although that's not a bad idea for an extremely AU fan-fiction. *locks idea away in mind for possible further/later use*
Laughing loudly, Gwaine and Merlin steal some horses and ride off into the forest.
O.O
Merlin and Gwaine are horse thieves?
Oh! Oh! Oh! Maybe they are like those bandits in Western movies that I really don't like to watch!
GWAINE: *walks into a bar and pulls guns on the customers* Gimme all yer horses. And yer money. And yer whiskey.
MERLIN: Howdy, y'all! We're her to steal yer livin's!
CUSTOMERS: *burst out laughing*
GWAINE: Merlin, from now on, let me do the talking.
MERLIN: *sulks* Fine. I didn't want to be a cowboy anyway. I was hoping Emachinescat would let us star in a sci-fi scene.. I think I'd make a really cool Stormtrooper, don't you?"
Um… don't ask, please. I have NO idea where that conversation came from, but my policy with this story/review/rant/whatever-the-heck-this-is is write down whatever randomness comes to mind and don't look back. If you do, you'll start second guessing yourself and begin to question your sanity even more than you do now. It's just not worth all the emotional trauma, therapists, and acupuncturists, man – IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!
Oooh, guess what?
I learned what "glomp" means today! I'm so happy and I'm going to glomp everyone I see today, starting with you guys! *glomps* *grins*
Like I said – whatever random thoughts/conversations/ideas that come to mind. It's just the way I roll.
But I suppose I should get my random thoughts/conversations/ideas back onto the episode, though, otherwise, I could be writing this all night, and that just won't do (I've got lots and lots of other stories to catch up on as well. Can you believe that I haven't updated a fan-fiction in like 3 days? I'm having withdrawals, I think! Or maybe it's the hair dye I ate earlier. Do withdrawals make your skin turn purple?
Ahem.
Back to… whatever it is I'm supposed to be talking about.
Oh, right. Order of the… DARN IT! I seriously just started trying to type the title of the episode, and this is what came out.
Once again, folks – it's NOT the Order of the Phoenix. It's the Eye of the Phoenix! Gah, this is so confusing!
Personally, though, I'm kind of glad that this has nothing to do with the Order of the Phoenix – book or movie – because it would be pretty crummy for Umbridge to waltz into the scene.
Speaking of Dolores "Centaur Food" Umbridge, I have actually written a short scene that involves her, Arthur, and Merlin. It's for the sequel to my Harry/Merlin crossover, The Most Deadly Alliance. The sequel is going to be called The Most Hallowed Alliance. And I'm going to start posting it fairly soon! Yaysers!
Once again with the self-promotion. Sorry, y'all. I may just be a walking ad. Ha.
ANYWAY… The Eye of the Phoenix. I need to get back on track here. Terribly sorry for the random rabbit trails.
Where was I? Oh right, Gwaine and Merlin riding off into the woods.
We switch scenes, and Arthur, who is being drained of his life force as we watch – remember? "May the force not be with you" – and he looks at a map. Then… he comes to a bridge that is being guarded by none other than…
Professor Flitwick!
PROFESSOR FLITWICK! Hey, guess what, I've finally figured out the "Wingardium Leviosa" spell! I swished and flicked, and I levitated Scabbers to the moon!
Just in case anyone is wondering – although if you know ANYTHING about Harry Potter, you should know about Flitwick or else you need to go back to Hogwarts and re-take charms! – he is the short, adorable little charms teacher at Hogwarts! But somewhere between the second and third movies, he changed from a little white-bearded guy – kind of like a dwarf or a midget Santa Clause – to a clean shaven, short brown haired guy that directs the frog choir at Hogwarts. Silly director that's not Chris Columbus.
But I'm not going to go on that rant. Suffice it to say that Professor Flitwick is the Charms teacher at Hogwarts. Hey, this is kind of like the time that Professor Sprout got ticked off because Morgause stole her mandrake roots, so she went undercover as a pixie nanny named Grunhilda so she could get the goods on Morgause and kick her butt... too bad Merlin blew her up though.
Oooh! Idea! What if Professor Flitwick came to Camelot area to find Professor Sprout? That sounds about right.
Flitwick must be undercover, too, because he's going by an alias – in this episode of Merlin, he is going as the Keeper of the Bridge, Grettir. But we'll still call him Flitwick, because that's who he is. No ifs, ands, or buts. That's just the way it is.
Flitwick wants to know who it is that wants to cross his bridge and Arthur says that he's a knight of Camelot. Flitwick just kind of grins and says, "Ah, then you must be courage."
I personally believe that he must be "stupid" in this case. I mean, I love my dad, but if he told me to go prove my worth for the billionth time by going ALONE into a perilous Perilous land to find a mystical trident of doom, I'd laugh and tell him he was all kinds of crazy. Then again, I'm not the prince of Camelot (thank heavens; who'd want Uther as their father? … although if it meant I got to hang out with Merlin… *dreamy grin* … er, anyway—)
Arthur looks a little confused at being told his name is Courage. I probably would be a little weirded out too, but mostly because Flitwick's in Camelot when he should be at Hogwarts teaching first-years how to levitate feathers!
Arthur's response is pretty funny, but mainly because of the bemused expression on his face. He says, "No, I'm prince Arthur of Camelot."
And then Flitwick says, "Yeah. And I'm the Queen of Sheba."
Just kidding. Flitwick's the Queen of Wisconsin, not Sheba.
Arthur and Flitwick shake hands and Arthur can't get this adorable grin off his face, which makes me smile – apparently he thinks that Flitwick/Grettir is pretty funny. I think so too, but because I'm half expecting him to pull out a wand and squeal, "All together now! Swish and flick! Wingardium Leviosa!"
Now I shall relay the wise words of wisdom that Professor Flitwick gives our dear prince that will be important for the rest of the episode. They also irritate me to no end – not the words, but the fact that Arthur STILL doesn't figure out Merlin's secret by the end of the episode when Flitwick's warning should make it OBVIOUS later on! *pouts*
FLITWICK: I have to say, you're not as short as I thought you'd be. (HINT: this isn't the advice, I just thought it was funny coming from a wee little man like Flitwick.) Before I let you pass, I'll give you a little advice. As Courage, there's two more things you'll need to complete your quest. Strength – and Magic.
ARTHUR: I don't condone the use of magic. (Oh yeah, Mr. Smarty-Pants? Well I don't condone the use of YOUR FACE! Ha! What now, jerk? – sorry, you all know I love Arthur but he's being a bit of a prat here – a real daddy's boy and if Flitwick isn't going to go all Hogwarts professor on him and give him a good talking to, then by gosh, I'll do it!)
FLITWICK: You'd be wise not to dismiss it so freely. (Okay, fine, so Flitwick does give him a mini-lecture about it. But I like my lecture better. Because it is better. Cause I said it. 'Nuff said.) The rules in the land that you are heading to are quite different to those of the world that you know.
ARTHUR: Thank you for your help.
Here Flitwick kind of smirks but that's okay because he has a reason to – Arthur's being a real dwonk and he's going to end up getting himself killed if he continues to hang onto his father's prejudices. But I can't help but wonder if Arthur is saying this just because it's what he wants everyone to think since his father's still alive and kickin'… or not. Because Arthur has seen magic used for good.
Exhibit A: The orb that saved his life in the cave with the terrifying spiders of doom.
Exhibit B: The whirlwind in Ealdor that saved his and everyone else's lives.
Exhibit C: The unicorn was magic and it was pure and beautiful.
Exhibit D: When Merlin turned him into a blast-ended screwt. Oh wait… wrong fandom (I'm back on Harry Potter again, darn it) … but I would love to see it… just one episode, you know?
Surely Arthur doesn't REALLY think that magic is all bad, does he? I mean, what if he found out about Merlin? What would he do?
MERLIN: *saves Arthur's life using magic*
ARTHUR: I don't condone the use of magic.
MERLIN: Are you blind? I just used it to save your life, you ungrateful ninny!
ARTHUR: I don't condone the use of magic.
MERLIN: I just incinerated five evil wizards and a mountain troll, all who were about to kill you painfully.
ARTHUR: I don't condone the use of magic.
MERLIN: Gee, thanks – I'm so glad you're ungrateful for me saving your sorry hide. I promise I'll never do it again – magic or not!
ARTHUR: I don't condone the use of magic.
MERLIN: Okay, who keeps pushing the instant replay button?
But seriously… I'd like to think that Arthur's past this petty, blind hatred of magic by now. He's grown a lot during the course of the show and I definitely think he should be at a point where he realizes that it's not just black and white. So for once I just hope he's putting up a front and being a "daddy's boy" because if not, if this is really how he feels after these past three years when I thought he was growing up, well…
He's going to be on my not-so-good list, that's all I can say… and trust me, that's not a place you want to be. Just ask the last guy that was on that list… oh wait, you can't… because he disappeared off the face of the earth… Muahahaha!
And yeah, I bet you guys didn't know I could be deep as well as a dork, did you? Oh yeah… I'm DEEP.
Now. Flitwick sees the bracelet on Arthur's arm and apparently agrees with me and probably all the other viewers out there that Arthur is being a bit of an idiot. Your strength is waning, Arthur, starting right when the bracelet starts glowing – but of course he doesn't see the glowing bracelet of doom. Why?
Because Arthur's a prat.
Arthur crosses the bridge and of course Flitwick doesn't tell him that he's sporting a life-sucking bracelet. And why should he? It would make the quest way too easy and none of the Indiana Jones-esque stuff later on won't happen.
Now, we're going to leave Arthur to his little adventure for a bit and head back over to Merlin and Gwaine. As fun as it has been hanging out with Flitwick and Arthur, hanging out with Merlin and Gwaine just can't be beat. The only thing that would be better would be hanging out with Merlin, Gwaine, Arthur, and the Weasley twins. BOTH of them.
Stupid J.K. Rowling.
Don't know what I'm talking about? Go read the end of book 7. I freaking dare you.
Back to Merlin and Gwaine.
Merlin is apparently curious about the same thing I am – why those guys wanted Gwaine to give them money. And I'm just going to point out right here that neither one of them seem disturbed at all by the fact that they are riding on stolen horses. Just sayin'.
MERLIN: Why were those men so angry? (Isn't it obvious, Merlin? They're angry because their hair isn't luscious and fluffy like Gwaine's. Heck, I'm angry because my hair isn't as luscious and fluffy as Gwaine's.)
GWAINE: It's always the way in gambling. You make a man a fool, he calls you a thief. (Oh, so this wasn't about Gwaine's hair? Huh. And here I thought that everything was about his hair. Go figure.)
MERLIN: *shakes head* ("Oh, Gwaine, you scalawag, you!")
GWAINE: How'd you find me?" (He went on a quest to find an all-seeing oracle to ask it where you went, of course. Everyone in Merlin likes going on quests, haven't you noticed? Come on, tell me you've noticed!)
MERLIN: It wasn't easy. I've been in almost every tavern in Angard. (By the way, I have no idea if "Angard" is what he said, but that's what it sounded like, okay? I'm writing this by ear, just so you know.)
GWAINE: So have I.
And then both Gwaine and Merlin burst out laughing. Have I mentioned that I love these two? Because I do, I really, really do!
You know what I've just realized? We're overdue for some epic poetry of doom! Let's have a go at it, shall we?
The perilous lands are really creepy
The sky is orange and the trees are broken
Arthur looks tired
But wow, he's still smokin'!
Don't get me wrong,
I'm always Team Merlin
But Arthur's cute too
TEAM MERLIN FOR THE WIN!
He travels and travels through the perilous lands
The bracelet is glowing and of course he doesn't realize
It's kind of annoying that Artie's so blind
But what do you expect for a guy who doesn't use his eyes?
He walks
He walks
He walks
He walks
Back in Camelot, Morgana is smirking
Honestly, M, do you think this is working?
If you have a plan, try to hold it in
And yeah, I just changed rhyme scheme in the middle of the poem, and it's cool cause I'm full of WIN
She and Gwen talk some and Morgana tries to pretend
The she didn't mean to be mean, and I want to rip her limb from limb
Come on, Morgana, don't you remember?
Gwen was your friend and you treat her like kitty litter!
The good news is that I think Gwen knows something's not right
Maybe she'll start to suspect Morgana's plight
That would be awesome, because Gwen needs to know
That her supposed best friend needs to fall in a hole!
Alright – that's it for now, but I plan to write more
Hopefully tonight, before I start to snore
But I have to stop writing for now and I don't want to leave you
With nothing at all, that'd be really rude!
So I'll update the other stories that need to be written
And then I'll give you part four of this, and I'll give you a kitten
Well, the last part's not true but I had to rhyme
I'll see you with more, tonight, so farewell until next time!
*waves* See ya later!
A/N: Basically, I have to stop writing so I can go home but I plan on writing more of this tonight to get caught up. But I didn't want to wait to post this until later, so here's this for now, and more later – and if not later tonight then definitely tomorrow! See you then – please review and then you can go to the tavern, glomp a tree, or dance in acid rain. Whatever makes you *glee*! :)
REVIEW – my awesomeness commands it of you!
~Emachinescat ^..^
Stats:
Burn Meter 5000:
Part 3: Arthur 0, Merlin 0
This Episode so Far: Arthur 2, Merlin 1
Total: Arthur 38, Merlin 40
Shirtless Arthur Scenes:
Part 3: 0
This Episode so Far: 1
Total: 5
Smirk-O-Meter
Part 3: 1
This Episode so far: 5
Total: 58