This fanfic is based on A Hat in Time.
The only character I own is Freddy Ringo. It will be in his POV.
With this out of the way, let's begin:
Chapter 1:
"There... it's finally all done," I smiled happily. I had just finished two different things that, though vastly different, were so worth it to do. I'd finished making my ten-thousandth dollar at work, while also getting 100 percent completion of the Seal the Deal DLC of A Hat in Time. It was extremely tough for both, considering the job market for the former and the insane difficulty curve of the latter.
For those of you wondering, my name is Freddy Ringo, and I was a 20-year-old that was working a part-time job at a local Arby's as well as being a gamer during downtime. I was oddly short for an adult male, being 4 feet 3 in height, but I wasn't a victim of Dwarfism. It was just that I didn't really spurt much in height during my puberty years. In fact, everyone was shocked when they heard my voice, as it was very deep as opposed to my short stature. I had a brown head of hair on my head done short, yet wavy. I was currently wearing a tee-shirt of black with a small, homemade badge on it that mimicked Hat Kid's top hat in the center. My choice of pants were blue shorts, along with knee socks and black tennis shoes. And they currently had cleats on them, as I was going to plan on getting to a small bit of a hike, but I took them off, as I had to get to bed, considering that the final gauntlet, that being the EX-Boss Rush achievements, was the absolute hardest. And for second hardest? The Birdhouse one. I felt proud of myself for doing it, and just in time for bed. I then went to my room and proceeded to fall asleep, having finally felt I'd accomplished something great.
...
I wavered my eyes awake, still very sleepy after the exhausting slog I'd just finished with A Hat in Time... and I noticed that I was... in a room that looked a bit familiar, but not my room. I shrugged it off, due to my sleepiness... and then, two seconds later?
"GREETINGS, INTERESTELLAR TRAVELER!" shouted an EXTREMELY loud radio, me gasping awake from both that AND the lights flickering on for absolutely no reason! Followed by a big slam I heard next to me! And when I looked in that direction... I was stunned. Right there, not two feet in front of me and also looking to be annoyed, was the adorable troublemaker herself! Not only that, but her partner in Bow Kid was also sleeping in the same exact bed!
"W-What the FFF... Fudge?!" I asked, knowing that I had to censor myself around these two, but also needing to say SOMETHING to show them that I was there and I was freaking out. And when I spoke, the two gasped and looked at me in surprise, them looking at me in confusion... but they didn't say anything? "What's going on? W-Why am I here?!" I asked, asking obvious questions that I feel the duo wouldn't be able to answer... especially since they then looked at me in confusion. "Come on, say something! Do you understand me?" I asked in annoyance, both kids nodding their heads and me sighing. "But can you SAY anything?" They shook their heads no. "Why not?" I asked... and what happened after? Hat Kid started to speak... in a completely alien tongue! I didn't understand a lick of it... but then again, she WAS from a different planet, even in-game.
"Can you at least try to talk English?" I asked, Hat Kid simply smiling at me and nodding.
"You... odd... where come?" she asked, me seeing that she was trying her hardest, but it looked to be tough for her to think of the right words.
"I... come from a different reality... I go to sleep in my bed at home, and I wake up in this strange room," I said, Bow Kid smiling at me as she then simply held onto my hand... and then, I gawked at how her bow started to change color to red before something surprising happened.
"Ah, there, now I can speak your lingo back to you. Captain, come here," Bow Kid said, me being shocked. Did... did she just copy something from me? And what all did she copy? Regardless, after Bow Kid touched Hat Kid, she then started to talk.
"Are you happy, now? Since we can talk to you comfortably instead of you doing it alone?" she asked, me nodding.
"Yeah... uh... what kind of thing just happened there?" I asked, being completely honest. When was this in the game? It wasn't, there's your answer!
"We're from a planet that creates magical headwear. Captain Hat prefers hats, I, Skipper Bow, prefer bows," she smirked at me.
"So... why do you look like human kids?" I asked them.
"Why do you sound like an adult trapped in a teen's body?" Hat Kid asked, me groaning at that.
"I see your point... okay, can we try to figure out how to get me home, though? I'm in a world that is not my own, with alien girls I've never met before, and I have to go back to work in the morning to make more money. I need to know how to get there," I said, staying civil and trying not to shout, especially to these literal kids.
"I understand. We're also trying to get home... oh! Speaking of which, we need to go check the systems, captain!" Bow said as she rushed out of the room, me following her and Hat Kid reluctantly, since I knew what was about to happen... and I didn't want to lose my life by falling from such a big height.
"Good, we're only 4 light years away. Probably 8 more days and we can finally get back home," Hat Kid said, me tilting my head.
"And... how did you go away from home?" I asked.
"It's less we went away and more we got kidnapped. We were kidnapped as infants by an alien, hoping to raise us to be obedient hookers... but our species ages much slower than normal creatures, and he spent nearly 50 years taking care of baby us. By the time we finally reached age 5 for our race, he jumped the ship, and we took it over. We then used our rising intellects to make it more comfortable for us as we started our trek home... so yeah, so you're aware, our age is ten times slower than yours," Bow Kid said, me frowning at her.
"How did you know that?" I asked her.
"I saw your memories, dummy. That's how I learned your vast vocabulary... And now I know why you were shocked when you saw us. You were stunned at being in a universe inside your beep boop machine," she said, me gawking at that. "But don't worry, I only saw still shots of the pictures... when it comes to seeing screens through someone's memories, the vision is always foggy. We don't know WHAT will happen, but we do know it'll be something big," Bow Kid said, me sighing in relief... but then, we heard a knocking sound. I gulped at this as I looked at the window and knew I had to ask a question.
"Question... do you have anything that could give me air, just in case I accidentally left the ship?" I asked them.
"Yes, we do, but you don't need to worry. Air isn't needed for anyone in this universe," Hat Kid said, me looking outside... and seeing that the mafia goon was simply breathing outside the ship while knocking at the glass, me looking at the duo and them simply pointing to the mafia guy and me frowning.
"Okay, I got it, no need to be smug," I groaned as we then went to the window and the mafia guy spoke... and I also saw that there was small vent things in the window to allow us to hear him and for us to speak to him... but also still able to prevent the suction happen.
"Is this weird boat? Boat in space? Well, no matter. Mafia demand the toll be paid for all boats, even space ones. Mafia come in to collect," he said as he then tried to open the glass door, but then Hat Kid freaked out and jumped up to the window and pulled it back shut before speaking to him.
"You're going to cause something bad if you open this door! It can only be opened in an area with atmosphere," Hat Kid said, the Mafia simply punching the window down, me gawking at how he managed to punch two holes into the window before he then finally busted his head through! I would've clapped if not for two things. One, he was with the mustache Mafia. And two, the entire place proceeded to send all three of us out of the ship and falling down to the planet below us, which contained the tons of different sights... and then, the vault flew open, and with it, all the hourglasses that powered it.
"What?!... Ugh... this is gonna be a hassle to clean up," Hat Kid said as we flew down to the planet... but while she and Bow were simply annoyed, I was freaking out in pure fear.
"OH MY GOD! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! I HAVEN'T EVEN KISSED A GIRL YET! NOT EVEN ONE!" I shouted in fear as we continued to fall... and then I felt a pair of lips peck my cheek and I saw it was Hat Kid. "This isn't the time, kid! I don't want to fall to my doom from millions of miles high!" I shouted in fear as I saw the Mafia Town becoming closer and closer to us as we hurdled down at speeds unheard of! And then, I gawked at how, when I hit the ground... I didn't die! In fact... I felt absolutely no pain?
"What... the hell?" I asked in absolute amazement, knowing that a fall of that height should've killed me! The mafia guy sure as hell died, his body being a big splat stain of red on the ground right next to us!... But Hat Kid, Bow Kid, and I were completely okay?
"Huh... I was cushioning your fall with some special bow powers... but even then, it would've definitely broken your bones... how are you completely unharmed?" Bow Kid asked, me looking at them and then at myself.
"I... I do not know..." I admitted... but then, Hat Kid noticed something that was on my chest.
"Ah! That badge! Where in the world did you get that badge from?!" Hat Kid asked in shock with pure glee, me looking at the badge in question... it was the one that had Hat Kid's signature hat on it. The one that I'd made myself during downtime.
"It's nothing special, just something I made from a bottlecap and a marker," I said.
"Not at all! That badge is one imbued with the powers of our kind! You have access to all the powers we have and then some, including adults of our species!" Hat Kid gawked, me looking at it in surprise. "That HAS to be why you were completely unharmed! Our species, the Fabricans, are very durable and strong. You must tell me how you crafted it!"
"I just did. I made it in my world with a bottlecap and marker. I made it because of me being a fan of the main character of the beep boop machine," I said, Hat Kid being surprised as she then took off her hat and looked at the comparison.
"Hmm... a couple small mistakes here and there, but regardless, it's still a good recreation of the real deal... the only thing I can think of is that, when you were somehow transported to our ship, the badge became imbued with our powers? Or at the very least, our latent strength," Hat Kid said with awe, me looking at her with a small smile.
"Well... until we can figure out how to get me back home, I'm gonna use this new power to help you do the same. Better to have three heads rather than two, right?" I smirked, them nodding at me.
"And you could help out with certain things, right?" Bow Kid asked.
"Bow, remember the ode of the Fabrican. Focus on the present, never what's happened or what will," Hat Kid said, me looking at them in surprise.
"Is that why you use them as fuel and don't use them to travel through time? It's some kind of oath?" I asked.
"More than that. Only we can use them properly. If anyone else were to use their power, it'd result in very bad things," Hat kid said, me frowning at that. It was final, then. I had to try and talk sense into Mustache Girl. Besides, the final level was bullshit anyway.
"Let's go look around the town, then. There's sure to have been a sighting or two," I smiled, the duo nodding as we avoided to blood stain of the mafia guy... and just in time to see two more fall above into a pile. And the one doing so? A blonde girl with a mustache and wearing a red hood. And she looked surprised at us before then running off.
"H-Hey, wait! We want to ask a question!" I said, that making the girl stop in place and look at me in utter confusion.
"Um... why do you have such a deep voice for such a small-" she was about to say before I spoke over her.
"I'm not going into it again. One of those questions a day is enough to annoy me... just tell us if you've seen any hourglasses falling from the sky. We need them," I said, the girl looking at me in confusion.
"You mean that weird junk that's started falling from the sky? If that's the case, then yes, I did see one fall down nearby. Here, I'll show you the way," she smirked as we then followed her the whole way around and Bow Kid simply smiled at me and whispered something to me.
"I would've done the same thing with her that I did with you when we first met. We don't like being silent," she admitted, me smirking at that.
"Unless you were taunting or jumping, you were pretty much silent in the beep boop machine," I said back to her, but quietly, so Mustache Girl wouldn't hear.
"What're you lot whisperin' about? It's impolite to keep secrets!" she said to us in annoyance. Time to ask a very important question.
"Nothing, we're just wondering how a girl of grade school age is able to have a handlebar mustache," I smirked, her smiling at me.
"Heh, I can understand. The folks on this side of the planet ALL have mustaches like me... and annoyingly, so does this no-good rotten Mafia that took over my home! Oh, when I get my hands on their boss, I'm gonna smash him to paste and put him in a jar!" she said in anger.
"Um... kind of dark, isn't it?" Hat Kid asked as I noticed that her ponytail was flexing a bit... made sense, since an x-ray of her head revealed that her ponytail had bones in it... somehow.
"If you knew what they did to the rest of my citizens, you'd want to do the same thing," she frowned.
"I'll bite. What'd they do?" I asked.
"Want to know? Well, here's the gist. They came here and we all welcomed them happily... then they take over with ruthless rules and strict standards. If you don't follow those standards, they take you and turn you into their meat!" she said, me gasping at that.
"Oh... my fucking god..." I gawked.
"OI! No swearing here! The Mafia hate them words. They'd wring your neck if they heard you say that stuff," Mustache girl said with a hushed voice, me nodding at that.
"Sorry... but... learning they came in... and basically ate the residents... are you the only one left?" I asked, her sighing.
"Tsk... I am... I've been managing to beat them up on the fly, but I'm scared the whole time... I don't want to be food," she said, me frowning at the mafia goons that I saw by the fountain and that they had the hourglass in hand.
"Alright, then. Time that I prove a point of my own. What do you say, captain?" I asked Hat Kid, her smiling at me.
"Go ahead," she smirked, me then jumping... and being surprised at how I managed to double-jump in midair! I then went to the fountain and looked at the mafia goon and spoke.
"Excuse me, Mafia ass, I want that hourglass. I rhymed a curse, bitch, I'm the worst," I smiled, him then growling at me doing that and looked like he was ready to punch me, but I smiled and jumped off the ground and slammed my foot into his head, him getting knocked unconscious instantly as I then grabbed the hourglass and looked at the other goons, them looking at me in surprise. "What's wrong, child eaters? Surprised to see a man as scrawny as me knock one of you on the ground? How about we go a few rounds, jackasses?" I asked, them then growling and trying to rush me at the same time... wait... time! I then thought of slowing time for everything but myself and smiled at how everything slowed to an absolute crawl! I then kicked each of the bastards in the backs of their knees before then swiping three of their weapons in the form of the famous parasol, a cane, and a large meat tenderizing hammer with a meat hook on the tip. And when time resumed normally shortly after, they all fell to the ground with their knees broken from my attack.
"Whoops, sorry, I don't know my own strength," I said with a smug smile of my own as I then looked at the Hat Kid and Bow Kid and gave them the parasol and cane respectively.
"Aw, I wanted the hammer," Bow frowned. I rolled my eyes and switched with her, Bow smirking at me. "Heh, you're alright... now time to get back to the ship and fix the basic support systems," she smirked.
"Allow me," Hat Kid smiled as her hat proceeded to glow a bright purple and I felt me and the two alien children warp out of the place... and then, I felt something weird... a voice.
"Help the Fabrican children... then you may go home..." a voice of a very deep and booming tone spoke... I looked at the two kids once back on the darkened spaceship and they looked at me in confusion.
"Did you hear that, too?" I asked them.
"Yeah, we did... it was Father Time himself!" Bow smirked in amazement.
"Who?"
"The father of all Fabricans, the one who watches over all time itself. If not for him, we'd have never survived our infant years," Hat Kid smirked.
"Hmm... maybe I could ask him if I could be able to traverse the two dimensions?... Y'know, just in case I'd like the come back and visit?" I asked, Bow and Hat smiling at me.
"Are you attracted to us?" she asked, me immediately shaking my head no at least 14 times.
"You're older than me, but you're still children in your species, so ABSOLUTELY not," I said, Hat Kid smirking at me.
"And our species is considered of legal consent at age 69 in your years, as in, a Fabrican month before age 7. So we're perfectly able to allow it," Bow Kid smirked as she and Hat Kid then did something that made me frown. They did the stupid smug dance. And I had a feeling it only had to do with the fact that they said that their age of consent was the number synonymous with sex on the internet.
"If that's supposed to annoy me, congrats, it's working... ugh... for now, we're just working together. Because I need to get back home at some point, since I have a feeling my job is going to be in danger if I don't get back," I said, them smiling at me.
"Understandable," Hat Kid smiled as we then went to the vault, which she then opened up and placed the single Time Piece in it, before then booping the panel to the kitchen, causing light to flow through the spaceship once again... and I also saw that the broken down door had already been completely repaired as well as given a duo of special locks.
"Um... who fixed the window door thing?" I asked.
"Roombi did," Bow Kid smiled, me then seeing the little vaccuum robot rolling around on the ground and me looking at her with confusion. "And before you ask how, it's because she's connected to the computer brain of the ship. She just uses the small vaccuum for transportation in order to see the ship up close," she smirked before I could ask 'how'... and then Roombi smacked into the chair by the steering wheel and then spoke.
"Ouch! My. Curcuit. Board!" she said, almost exactly like in the game.
"She's uh... still getting used to the recent upgrade," Hat Kid smirked.
"I see... so now we need to get back down to the planet, and now that I know that we can get there without issue, I must ask how we're going to get back there without opening that window?" I asked, Hat Kid and Bow Kid leading me into the kitchen and pointing to the oven, opening the door to reveal that it was actually an escape pod.
"Secret escape pods. Can't ever have enough of them, sir," Hat Kid smirked... and it was then that I realized something surprising.
"Oh my gosh! I've known you guys for roughly an hour now and I never even introduced myself... how dumb, huh?" I asked, the duo smirking at me.
"We already know your name, Freddy Bingo Ringo," Hat Kid said while sticking her tongue out, me smacking my face. They invaded WAY too much of my mind and I hated it.
"Never. Ever. EVER! Tell anyone about my full name. Got it? Otherwise, I'm not helping and I'm turning into a squatter," I said, the duo smirking at me.
"We saw the memories of you getting bullied for that full name, so we're not going to go that far," Bow Kid smirked.
"Wise choice... we ready to go down there?... Also, what's your age, just out of curiosity?" I asked.
"In terms of Fabrican years, 8 for me and 9 for Captain Hat. In human years, 84 for me and 91 for Hat... you can call us Bow and Hat if you want. We're not really the bosses of someone from another world," Bow Kid smirked.
"I'll stick to calling you Bow and Hat for normal instances, but if we need to go up against any villains, I'll refer to you as Captain Hat and Skipper Bow," I smiled, them smirking back at me.
"That sounds like your kissing our butts. And I love it," Hat Kid giggled as they then went into the oven and pulled me in with them... it was very tight with all of us inside of the oven, but we all did get shot out of the bottom of the ship afterwards and towards the planet. I had to hope that the badge on my chest didn't fall off. Otherwise, I'd be a stain on the ground like the poor Mafia goon that opened the door on the ship.