You all probably thought you would never see another update…Am I right? Well, here it goes folks.

This hasn't been proofread. So any mistakes are mine…and possibly intentional.

Jennifer Jareau should have had many job opportunities open to her after being fired by Director Fickler, but for some strange reason – despite her experience and education - she wasn't having any luck.

The PR firm she applied to rejected her application citing that they wouldn't hire anyone who wrote their resume in magic marker. She vaguely remembered cussing out the head of HR for "not understanding that she wasn't allowed to have permanent inks in the house and it wasn't her fault that she enjoyed drawing on the walls every once in a while."

The local police department told her that they weren't looking for any new officers, and when she tried to show them her boobs - on the off chance that it would sway their decision in her favor – the division Captain threatened to throw her in jail for indecent exposure. Her comeback for that one was far less complex, involving her ripping off her shirt and exposing her bra. "My boobs are more than decent! See?" She was in the process of unhooking said bra when she was handcuffed and taken to the holding cells for forty-eight hours.

So rather than being caught at either of those workplaces, she was caught standing at the door to the local Wal-Mart, dressed in the associates uniform of khaki pants and a blue shirt when FBI Director Jack Fickler approached her.

"Hello, welcome to Wal-Ma….Hey! It's you." The blonde snapped her fingers, making a show of trying to remember the older man's name. After about thirty seconds, she stopped the ridiculous noisemaking. "You're that Director bitch who fired me for peeing!"

On any other day Director Fickler would not have stood for being talked to in such a manner, but these were pressing times. Instead, he plastered on a convincing fake smile and looked down at his former employee's name badge. "I see you're enjoying a fruitful career as a door greeter Miss Jareau."

"What do you want bitch?" JJ responded, tapping her foot in annoyance.

"I want you to return to the Bureau. We need you." He sighed. "Your old team is in shambles. Agent Hotchner has entered a beard-growing contest, Agent Rossi got married to a dead car battery, Dr. Reid built a brick-wall around his desk, Agent Morgan tried to get drunk while on the job…by consuming five gallons of apple juice, Agent Prentiss has refused to speak in anything but Gwen Stefani lyrics, and Miss Garcia is currently attempting to revive the reality television show 'Kid Nation.' We believe your…unconventional methods of dealing with the job will help bring them back to their former glory."

JJ scoffed. "Oh really? How do you know I'm not perfectly happy here? You know, I might love checking receipts, smiling at random people and making sure those asshats at the registers deactivate the anti-theft tags. Which I do. I love it. I love all of this."

"Miss Jareau, I know you're lying."

"Prove it."

"First of all I was a profiler long before you even thought about joining the Bureau. Second of all, you wrote 'screw Wallyworld' on your arm in red magic marker."

JJ lifted her arm, sure enough the incriminating evidence was in plain view. She was sure her supervisor would have noticed it by now, as she had actually been scrawling the words there every morning for the past few months she had been working at the establishment. 'That damn incompetent fool, I could do his job a million times better,' she thought before turning her attention back towards Fickler. "Indeed I do. Go on."

"I also know they're only paying you about eight dollars and forty cents an hour."

"That may or may not be true."

"Just please come back to the Bureau Miss Jareau."

JJ pretended to mull the offer for a few very long minutes before returning to the situation at hand. "I'll return, on one condition."

"Name it, anything."

"Well, that one condition is that I get twenty conditions. To be used whenever I see fit."

Director Fickler sighed. "Not my ideal situation, but I can work with it."

"I'm using my first condition now…" JJ responded, drawing out the moment.

"Just say it Miss Jareau."

A mischievous smirk made its way onto JJ's face. "I want a Marvel vs. Capcom arcade machine in my office before I return."

Director Fickler nodded. "Fine. I can do that."

"I'm also using my second condition…I'm returning to the job in forty-five minutes." JJ then left her post and started back towards the break room to retrieve her belongings and quit her job working at the discount hell-hole. "If you don't get the machine in my office by then I'm going to steal your car…and leave you down an agent."

Somehow when JJ returned to her office in exactly forty-five minutes, a genuine Marvel vs. Capcom machine was waiting for her – wrapped in a large green ribbon and topped with a bow. She pushed the hulking item to the side wall, plugged it in, ripped off the ribbon and began to play.

"Just wait until I get to my other eighteen conditions…."