Chapter 1: There's Nothing Holding Me Back
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March 2022
Sonny's Office - Friday Morning
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"Come in."
Amanda slowly opened up the door and walked inside.
"Hey," She said as she closed the door behind her and made her way over to his desk. "I was running early for work, surprisingly, so since we couldn't meet up last night I thought I'd stop by before heading into the precinct to see how you're feeling about the trial. You think there'll be a verdict today?"
Sonny motioned for her to sit down and took a sip from his coffee. "I don't know. The jury only got to deliberate for a few hours yesterday so if a verdict's in today, it'd seem fast and I'd be nervous about it. But as you're aware, the longer a jury takes, the more likely they are to acquit or be unable to come to a consensus."
Amanda sat down in the chair across from his desk. "If it ended in a mistrial would they let you retry him?"
Sonny sighed. "I'm not sure. None of my bosses want to see this guy get off, but we'd be workin' with all the same evidence and witnesses so I wouldn't be surprised if they said no. Which would be a shame. Because everyone knows Gavin Rhodes is a serial killer in the makin' who needs to be locked up for life."
Amanda nodded slowly. "He does. Kinda reminds me of a young Yates. What he did to Kaley Fields and the two teenage girls up in Buffalo was just awful."
Sonny turned on his computer. "It was. And since he was acquitted for those two murders upstate, this is really the one and only shot we have of gettin' him off the streets. Hopefully I did enough."
She reached across his desk and gave his hand a light squeeze. "I was only able to see bits and pieces of the trial, but from the little I saw and and from what I heard some of the Homicide detectives and officers who were sitting in say, you did an amazing job. Try to stay positive."
"I will." He promised.
Amanda for up from her chair. "I gotta get going. If the jury's still out deliberating and if I'm not wrapped up in somethin' at work, do you want to have lunch together?"
Sonny gave her a small smile. "Yeah. That'd be nice."
She nodded, leaned in, placed a quick kiss on his lips and then made her way out.
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Courthouse - Friday Afternoon
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The couple never made it to lunch because the jury's verdict came in later that afternoon so Sonny ended up being called in to court. Amanda, as well as Liv and Velasco, who initially worked on the case before it was handed over to Homicide, were all present at court and stood in the crowd anxiously waiting to hear what the jury decided.
"We find the defendant guilty." The foreman said to Judge Karen Blake.
Sonny breathed a major sigh of relief as he watched Rhodes get taken out of the courtroom in handcuffs.
Once court was adjourned, he quickly gathered up his belongings. As he started to head out he locked eyes with Amanda, who smiled and gave him a thumbs up but then mouthed to him that she had to go. Once he was out of the courtroom he was immediately met and thanked by the families of Rhodes' victims, including the two families from Buffalo who had flown down earlier in the week to observe the latter half of the trial. Though Rhodes had been acquitted of murdering their daughters, they hoped Sonny would be able to get him for the Manhattan murder and were extremely grateful that he had.
After he finished speaking with the families, the counselor was then approached by the Lieutenant of the Buffalo PD's Homicide Division, John Burke, and the DA from the Erie County District Attorney's Office, Robert Marshall. Both had flown down with the Buffalo families, whom they had grown close with during the course of their murder investigation and trial, to observe the proceedings.
"Nice work, counselor." Burke told Sonny as he extended his arm out to him and the took shook hands.
"Yes nice work." Marshall concurred. "Thank you for doing what we weren't able to up in Buffalo."
Sonny shook his head. "Our evidence was a little better, but a big reason I think we got a conviction was because I was able to establish an MO and a motive, thanks to the information both of you provided."
Marshall nodded. "We might've given you the ingredients but you were the one who made something out of them. Your showing in the courtroom this past week was impressive."
Sonny, not one to seek out praise, found himself growing a bit red. "Thank you."
Marshall looked down at his watch. "We need to head back to our hotel and finish packing. Our flight leaves tonight. But would you care to join John and I for an early dinner? Say around 5:30p?"
The counselor nodded. "Sounds good."
"I'll text you the address."
Marshall and Burke then headed off together down the hall toward the elevators.
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Restaurant - Friday Evening
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"Do you ever miss being a detective?" Burke asked Sonny as he took a swig from his beer bottle.
Sonny contemplated the question in his head, finished chewing and then said, "I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, but I think my time in SVU helped shape me into the person I am today. One I can respect."
He paused for a moment and then continued.
"You did a little time in sex crimes. You know how gray that world can be. It's where I learned there are no such things as perfect victims and witnesses. That empathy goes a long way. How not everyone who did somethin' wrong should be punished in the same manner because some of those individuals are in fact victims themselves and deserve to be shown a little compassion. These are all takeaways that I keep in the forefront of my mind as a prosecutor."
Burke nodded and fixed his lips to say something, but his phone rang.
"It's my wife. I need to take this. Excuse me." He got up from their table and stepped outside.
Sonny and Marshall continued to drink and eat in silence for a minute or two when the Erie County DA finally broke it. "I was hoping we'd have a chance to talk privately tonight and it looks like that moment's now."
"Everything OK?" Sonny asked.
Marshall nodded. "Yes, it's nothing bad." He reassured him. "It's a good thing. At least I think so and I hope you do too."
Sonny eyed him curiously, but remained quiet.
Marshall cleared his throat. "My Chief Assistant District Attorney, our second in command, retired in December and I've been on the hunt for a new one ever since. There was internal interest in the position, but none of the candidates I interviewed seem quite right for it. No one I've come across has. That is, until I met you."
Sonny's eyes widened in surprise.
"I have gotten to know you pretty well while we've been in communication in regards to Rhodes and your trial and I really like what I've seen from you counselor. Your courtroom deportment, vigor, passion, and skill. The rapport you developed with not only the family of Rhodes' victim in Manhattan, but also the Buffalo families. All of those things, in addition to your past life as a detective, your demonstrated experience prosecuting not only homicide cases, but special victims, and some of the things I've heard you say tonight and in precious conversations have led me to believe you'd be the right person for the position."
"Wow." Sonny said, shocked. "I'm flattered to hear someone with your experience and reputation say that. Especially considering I haven't been on the job that long."
Marshall shook his head. "Over the years I've come to learn that quality trumps quantity. It isn't always about how long someone has done the job. What's more important is how well they've done at it and, in regards to us lawyers, the legacy they are leaving behind. I like the legacy you have begun to build. It's right in line with the direction I have been trying to take my office in since becoming DA."
Sonny sat silently for a moment while he digested everything he heard before finally responding. "I'm truly honored that you are offering me this position. One in such a progressive, forward thinking office as yours. It sounds wonderful. But…I can't accept it. My life is here in the city."
Marshall nodded his head slowly and then asked, "Wife and kids?"
Sonny's mind instantly drifted to Amanda and the girls, whom he had come to think of as such over these past months. But eventually he answered him honestly. "I'm not married and I don't have kids."
"Then there's really nothing holding you back." Marshall said as he took a bite of his steak. "But I understand your hesitance. I know taking a leap like this one can be scary because it was for me."
"You're not from western New York?"
"Brooklyn, actually." Marshall told him. "I thought I'd be a lifelong New Yorker but an opportunity I had longed for was presented to me elsewhere so I took it and I never looked back. Leaving was the best decision I ever made."
Sonny nodded his head slowly.
"I don't need a decision tonight." Marshall said as he took a sip of his wine. "I know you think you have your mind made up, but take some time and really think about it. Let me know in a week."
Just then Burke returned and the conversation took a lighter turn. While Sonny did his best to stay engaged, he had mentally checked out and found his mind drifting to the Chief ADA position.
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After dinner was over and the men exchanged farewells, Sonny began the walk back to his car. On his way his phone rang and as he whipped it out he smiled when he saw that it was a FaceTime call from Amanda. When he answered he was pleasantly surprised to see it was actually Jesse and Billie.
'Congratulations Uncle Sonny!' Jesse exclaimed. 'Mommy said you won your court case!'
'Conglatulations!' Billie said while clapping.
A big huge grin spread across his face. "Aww, thank you girls."
'If it's not too cold tomorrow, can you take us to the park?' Jesse asked hopefully.
"Of course we can go to the park." Sonny told them.
'Yay!' Both girls cheered excitedly.
He then saw Jesse look at someone, who he was assumed was Amanda.
'Mommy says we have to go to bed now.' Jesse informed him. 'Night Uncle Sonny.'
'Night!' Billie added.
"Goodnight. See you two tomorrow."
Jesse nodded and then handed the phone to her mother.
'Hopefully we didn't interrupt your dinner.' Amanda told him as she appeared on his screen. 'Jesse heard me on the phone tell my mom you won your case so she wanted to call and congratulate you.'
Sonny shook his head. "No I just finished up. I'm glad the girls called. It feels like I haven't seen them that much lately. Been so busy with this trial."
'I know.' Amanda said. 'But now that it's over we'll all be able to spend more time together. Which will be nice.'
Sonny smiled. "It will be." He then yawned.
'You look tired, counselor. I know you were planning on stopping by after your dinner, but why don't we each just get a good night's rest and meet up tomorrow?'
He nodded. "Sounds good."
'Love you.' She said to him, smiling.
"I love you more." Sonny told her. "Goodnight."
'Night.'
Sonny ended the call and stood in place for a moment, pondering. In regards to his personal life he finally had everything he ever wanted. The Buffalo position sounded amazing but it was 400 miles away from the three people who meant the most to him. Though Marshall wanted Sonny to take a week to think it all over, the counselor knew in his heart the answer was no. Amanda, Jesse and Billie were in New York City and there's no place he'd rather be than with them.
He put his phone away and resumed his walk toward his car.
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Precinct - Monday Morning
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Sonny's weekend with Amanda and the girls had been a nice one consisting of two trips to the park, Disney movie marathons, a visit to the Children's Museum of Manhattan, homemade pizzas, and once Jesse and Billie were asleep, some intimate time with Amanda. But as always, the weekend flew by and before he knew it, Monday had arrived.
When Sonny walked into the precinct that morning and looked around, he didn't see Liv or the rest of the squad. He decided to poke his head into the break room, where he saw Liv pouring herself some coffee.
"Hey Cap." He said as he headed in.
"Carisi," She said as she took a sip from her mug. "Those files for me?"
The counselor nodded as he set them down on the table.
Liv motioned toward the box of donuts on the table. "Velasco brought these in. Have some so I don't eat them all."
Sonny chuckled, grabbed a blueberry cake donut and sat down. "So where is everyone?"
Liv took a seat next to him. "Fin had a doctor's appointment and Rollins and Velasco are out on a call. They're on their way back now."
Sonny nodded and then turned his attention toward Monday's edition of The New York Times next to the donut box. The cover story was about a late in the season blizzard that struck the Buffalo metropolitan area on Sunday and left the city covered in 20 inches of snow.
"Another reason to add to my long list of reasons for why I should stay right where I am." He muttered to himself.
Liv, having caught the comment, eyed him curiously. "Stay where you are?"
"It's nothin.'" Sonny said, as he took a bite of his donut.
"Come on, Carisi. Spill."
He sighed. "You know I've spent a lot of time communicating with the Buffalo PD and Erie County District Attorney's Office in preparation for the Rhodes trial."
Liv nodded and waited for him to continue.
"Well the Erie County DA, Robert Marshall, invited me out to dinner and during it he offered me a job. Chief Assistant District Attorney. Second in command."
Liv's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow."
"Crazy, isn't it?" Sonny said, still very much in disbelief. "I mean, I haven't even been an ADA for that many years."
The Captain nodded. "True. But Carisi, there's a lot of actual DA's out there younger than you and without that much more experience."
"I suppose that's true. Anyways, I was flattered. But I'm obviously not going to accept the position."
Liv nodded her head slowly and then asked, "Why not?"
He raised his eyebrows at her. "You think I should take it?"
Liv thought over her words carefully before finally responding. "I've hated it every single time one of our ADAs has left, but it would be especially hard to see you leave because unlike the others who were assigned to the unit and I gradually built relationships with, you were one of my detectives. I've watched you blossom from this inexperienced, somewhat brash cop I got saddled with into an empathetic and talented lawyer I consider not only a colleague but friend."
Sonny smiled softly, but refrained from commenting to let her finish speaking.
Liv took a deep breath and then continued on. "While I'd hate to see you go, I've loved seeing you grow and take on new challenges. This is one I think you're ready for and it's one that may not come along around here. Because down here it's not so much what you know, but who you know."
She took a sip of her coffee. "What I know is that the world needs more Dominick Carisi's out there in the driver's seat. We'd all be a lot better off. So maybe you should give the offer a little more consideration."
Sonny nodded his head slowly. "I get what you're saying. I do. It's a once in a lifetime kind of offer that most wouldn't pass up. A challenge I'd love to tackle. A position where I could truly make a difference. If it were somewhere close, like in a neighboring county, I'd take it in a second. But it's not and the city…it's home. I could never move away from my family or…"
Amanda?" Liv asked.
She ran a hand through her hair and then scooted a little closer over to him. "Carisi, I know how close you are with your family and how much you value your friendship with Amanda and how close you are with the girls. And while those relationships would need to evolve into something different if you moved away, it doesn't mean they'd have to end."
Sonny sat quietly as he processed her words. He knew everything Liv was saying made sense and had he not been in a secret relationship with Amanda all these months and still had doubts about the position, she would've convinced him to take it. Because while he was very close to his parents, sisters, nieces and nephews and would miss them all a great deal if he left, he'd still be willing to take the plunge and make the move for such an amazing opportunity. But Amanda was the love of his life and there was no job out there worth sacrificing the life the two of them shared together. Liv didn't know about them yet, but she would soon and when she found out his decision for staying would make much more sense to her in that moment than it probably would now.
"I know this may be the one and only time I'm ever presented with a chance like this." Sonny admitted to her. "But my heart is telling me I'm right where I need to be."
Liv nodded her head slowly. The room then very briefly filled with silence until she changed the subject and asked him a question about the files he brought over.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them both, Amanda had recently returned back to the precinct. After hearing Sonny's voice and then him mention the job offer to Liv as she passed by the break room, she silently stood just outside of it and listened in on their conversation.
Once it had concluded she hastily wiped away the tears that had fallen from each of her eyes and discreetly made her way back to her desk.