A/N: Sorry for the lateness… as a "please don't maul me gift," here's the WHOLE of episode 9 in one chapter. :) Um, also, I actually have the episode taped on Sy-Fy on my DVR, so I'm using that this time instead of watching the episode online as I go… that being said, sometimes the American station likes to cut out some scenes, so if I miss something, feel free to tell me. This is just much easier than going back and forth between YouTube, you know? *sigh* Oh, how I long for the day when I can finally own season 3 on DVD… but enough of my dramatic lamenting… on with the show! Enjoy… review… you know the drill by now, I'd hope. :D

Reflections

Chapter Thirty: Love in the Time of Dragons

May I just start by saying that I think this is a very funny title for an episode of Merlin, or for any show, for that matter? It's not that I don't like the episode (because I do, very much) but the name just cracks me up. "Love in the Time of Dragons." Sounds like a soap opera.

PREVIOUSLY on LOVE IN THE TIME OF DRAGONS

GAIUS: Oh, woe is me! My girlfriend has turned evil and I think she's going to kill my friends!
ALICE: Oh, woe is me! I'm being controlled by a beast that wants to kill Gaius's friends!
MERLIN: Oh, woe is me! Gaius and I are become estranged because he cares more about his evil girlfriend than me!
GWEN: Oh, woe is me! I'm not in this episode!
ARTHUR: Oh, woe is me! I'm a jerk-face to my awesome servant, Merlin!
UTHER: Oh, woe is me! I've been poisoned and my eyes are black!
MORGANA: Oh, woe is me! I'm not in the episode, either! And I'm a terrible excuse for a human being!
MANTICORE: Oh, woe is me! I get wasted by an old man and his totally handsome wizard sidekick!
CELESTIA: Oh, woe is me! My husband left me for his fourth cousin five times removed and now she's pregnant but not with his baby and she kidnapped my son and my alien baby has a cold and… Oh, wait. Wrong soap. So sorry. *scurries back to Studio B, where "Hate in the Age of Hippos" is being filmed*
ANNOUNCER: Oh, woe is me! I have to announce for this lousy show. You know what, I quit. Who wants tacos?
GWAINE: Tacos aren't birds, but burritos are. Sometimes they're even called "bird-ritos".
EMACHINESCAT: *facepalm*

So you see, I've just summed up the entire episode in one go. Wow, I'm good. Well, that's it for this episode!

.

.

.

.

.

JUST KIDDING!

Ha, you didn't really think that you were going to get away so easily, did you? No, that was just a little prelude to what's to come. Except I'm not sure where Celestia comes in. I think she decided to pop up when she found out I was going to make fun of soap operas. (I do that a lot.)

But seriously… hmm… Love in the Time of Dragons. Still a strange name. I mean, seriously…

Which of these three do not belong?

DAYS OF OUR LIVES

LOVE IN THE TIME OF DRAGONS

ALL MY CHILDREN

Dude, I'm stumped! I can't figure it out! They're all soap operas, aren't they?

GWAINE: No, the last one's a bird.
EMACHINESCAT: Really, Gwaine? Really?

I don't know. The title of this episode… just funny. That's about all I can say.

But enough about the title! We have more important things to discuss, don't we? Like the episode itself! Drumroll please?

*Gwaine plays the drums on Arthur's helmet (which is on his head) and Merlin applauds enthusiastically*

Thanks, Gwaine.

I really do love that man. And Merlin. And Arthur… well, ALL the future knights of the Round Table. And Merlin, even though he's not a knight. But I'm digressing again, aren't I? Darn.

Okay, so the episode begins with an older lady making her way into Camelot. We don't know it yet, but her name is Alice. Whoops. I just spoiled it for you, didn't I? Oh, well, I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you've already watched the episode… unless you haven't gotten the episodes where you live yet and have enough scruples not to watch it illegally online (*cough unlike me cough cough*) and you're watching this in place of the episode. In which case, I'm very flattered, but please, go and find the third season. You really shouldn't trust me to give you the awesomeness, especially since I'm making fun of stuff most of the time. Not that I actually think people would read this story/review/thing in place of the series… But if you do, I'm just saying… although I'm not expecting anyone to…

Oh, great. Now I'm sounding like Gwen.

Anyway, the lady comes into Camelot and enters a house. Nothing weird about that, right? Just a regular old lady who may or may not be named Alice (see what I did there, I was mindful of spoilers, see?) going to Camelot and going into an inn or house thing. I'd like to say it's a house, but if she's just coming to Camelot, how would she have a house waiting for her? Unless they had pre-ordered homes back then, but somehow I doubt it because I'm not even sure if they have those today, and even if they do have those today, it sounds like something that would require a phone or Internet or something. Just… no, I'm not gonna say it. I'm going to go the rest of this chapter without saying 'just sayin'' – and that didn't count, because I was just – ha! Almost got me there, but I didn't say it! Ha!

Wow, I'm a bit pathetic.

But anyway, this isn't about me. This is about Maybe Alice. Maybe Alice goes into this room and she has this mysterious looking chest with her. Oooh, I wonder what's in it? Could it be treasure? A treasure map to another chest with treasure in it? A fried bologna sandwich on rye?

As it turns out, it's none of those – and she opens it using magic. Oh oh oh! She has magic! I totally… saw that coming. I mean, the qualifications for every new character on Merlin:

1) Is a future knight

OR

2) Is evil.

OR

3) Possesses magic.

OR

4)2 & 3 combined.

I've yet to see a 1, 2, 3 combo, but who knows. Maybe Percy's secretly an evil warrior magician that has a cattle ranch on the moon and spends his summer nights playing poker with his pet hamster, Gerry. Or maybe he's the son of Poseidon and he has to fight monsters and use his demi-god powers of doom. Actually, that's another Percy, who I love. To bits. Ahem. Anyway, darn it! That was another spoiler, wasn't it? But I'm going to assume that you guys've watched season 3. All of it.

Now, when Possibly-But-Not-Definitely Alice opens the box, guess what's inside?

(A) An adorable golden retriever named Marley.

(B) A one of a kind, collector's edition Arthur Pendonkey.

(C) A crazy, ugly, demented creature with a face uglier than Umbridge and some sort of weird scaly mane thing around its neck.

(D) Flitwick.

Yep, if you guessed C, you're right… although it would've been pretty awesome if it had been B… but even more epic if it was D. I mean, come on – he's Flitwick, am I right?

Yeah, this thing… is ugly. And when I say ugly, I don't mean ugly like a hairless Chihuahua or a baboon's butt (you know, the "it's so ugly it's cute" thing – by the way, that one only applies for the first one, the hairless Chihuahua, at least for me. If you think that baboon's buttocks are cute, that's your decision. But if that's the case, just know that I'm giving you a really shifty look right now.).

Um, all that was to say that this thing – as we will find out later, this manticore (which Microsoft Word claims doesn't exist) – is just icky. I hat looking at it, really. But it's not big, probably about the size of my Chihuahua, Chewy. But don't let that fool you – it's a nasty critter, filled with potent black venom that'll suck the life right out of you!

That was my attempted sales pitch. I thought it was rather wonderful. If you don't agree, I won't sell the manticore to you. Plain and simple.

Now we're heading to the throne room, where Uther is telling Gaius of some "disturbing" news, although how the news of a person on the brink of death after a horsing accident is bad, I'm not sure… Oh wait, here's why – Uther's freaking out because this person should be dead, and well, he's not. So you know what that means, don't you?

MERLIN: That Arthur's a prat?

GWAINE: That… Uther's not a bird?

ARTHUR: That I'm as blind as a bat?

UTHER: MAGIC!

*ding ding ding ding* We have a winner. Yes, Uther's angry because someone is alive because they've been revived by magic… but while we're on that train of logic, shouldn't he be mad that Arthur's alive? And Morgana? And him for that matter? If not for Merlin and his magic, Uther would have been dead… erm… by at least season 1, episode 6, "A Remedy to Cure All Ills," when Merlin directly used his magic to save the ungrateful king from that sleazy guy Edwin and his magical bugs of doom. Ick. I hate bugs. I saw one on (it was actually a spider) crawling on the kitchen floor once and I screamed, ran, and ordered my supremely annoyed stepdad to "Ack! Kill it!"

But enough about me… I swear, by the time I finish this story-thing, you're going to know more about me and my crazy moments than the episodes themselves. But at least I link me and my crazy moments to Merlin and the episodes of awesomeness the show contains. Erm… most of the time.

So basically, Uther wants Gaius to check it out because after this fatal-but-not-really horse accident, a local innkeeper was cured of a deathly illness. Uther wants Gaius to go all Hardy Boys and investigate. Well, not really, but still being a bit of a Hardy fangirl (although I have to admit, I all but deserted that fandom for Merlin in a heartbeat… I'm such a traitor, but I'll never, EVER turn my back on Merly-Werly. I promise. Hee hee… where was I again? Oh yeah. Hardys.) So basically, Gaius's mission is to find out how Tom, I think his name is, but I could be wrong… how Tom the Innkeeper got better and if it was *shifty eyes* magic. Of course it was, and not just because it's all but impossible, but because the solution/motive/cause to/of just about everything in the show is magic.

In the words of Katie McGrath and Bradley James on the series 3, episode 1 audio commentary, and I quote: "[Merlin's] shiny chains? Magic. Morgause's eyeliner? Magic. Gwaine's hair? Magic."

I love those two.

Anyway, back to the topic. So Merlin and Gaius go on a little mystery-solving trip, and on the way to question the innkeeper, Merlin says something that just… made me… AHHH!

"Uther doesn't have a problem turning to magic if his family is hurt. [Gaius tells him to keep his voice down. Merlin does not keep his voice down.] He is such a hypocrite."

WHOO! Go Merlin! YES! That SO needed to be said ('cuz we've all only been thinking it from day one, am I right?). Dude, Merlin, you are AWESOME and I don't just tell anybody they're awesome.

*cheesy sitcom flashback noise and thought bubble as I reminisce to yesterday*

ME: "Hey, Mailman Joe! You're awesome!" … "Hey, Mom, you're awesome!" … "Hey, random stranger staring at me like I've lost my mind… you're awesome!" … "Hey, Chewy the Chihuahua, you're awesome!" … "Hi, door I just ran into. You're awesome."

Oookay, so maybe that wasn't the best example. But you know what I mean… right? What's that? You hardly ever know what I mean? Wow… that stinks. Maybe I need someone who can translate from "Weirdlage" (Weird and Language combined, see what I did there!) to English so that you guys won't be confused. What do you say (or do you by chance happen to enjoy my semi-psychotic ramblings?

DRAT!

Sorry, just found out that I was WRONG about Tom. His name isn't Tom. It's Henrick. *pouts* … Hee hee, I think I was thinking about the Tom that works in the Leaky Cauldron, perhaps? *scratches head* I dunno, though… to get "Tom" from "Henrick" is a pretty surprising feat… but then again, it's me and I'm full of surprises.

So, here's the run down as Gaius and Merlin go all third degree on Henrick.

GAIUS: So… Henrick… if that's even your real name!
HENRICK: *gulp*
MERLIN: We hear that you've gotten better after being deathly ill… *shines torch right in his face* Care to explain?
HENRICK: Ack! You're burning me nose 'airs with that light, sonny!
GAIUS: Why do you have a really bad… French… Irish…? Whatever… accent?
HENRICK: I know not, but I doth suspect that Emachinescat hath something(th) to do with thiseth.
EMACHINESCAT: *giggle snort*
GAIUS: Should have known. There goes our good cop/bad cop act.
MERLIN: Darn.

Actually, all that really happens is that Gaius asks Henrick how he's doing. Henrick confesses that his wife went to a healer in the lower town out of desperation (which explains the magical ward in the doorway) and then shows him the cure – which looks suspiciously like sparkly pixie dust! Oh no… what if Grunhilda's back? What if Maybe-Alice is Grunhilda in disguise? What if Henrick is a pixie and has a hankering for older gentlem…. No. Not even gonna finish that thought. Sorry.

And then Gaius and Merlin go on their way, leaving Not-Tom (*pouts*) to do whatever he does during the day (I'm assuming he keeps inns or something of that nature, considering his title).

Later, Uther asks what the nature of the treatment was. Gaius's answer? Something to do with hogwart… and after that, I was gone. This is the SECOND TIME that "Hogwarts" has been referenced since the beginning of the third series. I knew it! It's a secret code for those Hogwarts professors who are missing their Charms and Herbology teachers, letting them know that it's all good… "Grunhilda" (AKA Sprout) and "Grettir" (AKA Flitwick) are just fine… if you don't count that Sprout has been turned to dust and Flitwick is now a mystical, flower-bearing bridge keeper of… not so much doom, but of… daisies! Yep, that's it! Mystical, flower-bearing bridge keeper of daisies! Ha!

Anyway, Uther's like, "Dude, that's not possible… you said that he was going to die, man."

And Gaius says, "Yo, U-Dawg, I ain't always on the down-low with the sickies, y'know what I'm sayin', dawg?"

And Uther goes, "Um… no. Not really bro. Care to clear it for me, dude?"

And Gaius is like, "Here's the dealio, my kingly brother. See, sometimes I ain't always right, ya dig? And then other people gots to fix everything, you know, yo?"

And Uther is all, "But… magic had to do this, it's just too gnarly for mundane means!"

And Gaius goes, "Your face is too gnarly."

And Uther blinks and is like, "You bet it is. So, you're sure there's no magical pixie dust of doom or magical shenanigans (and oh my gosh, I spelled shenanigans right on the first try! I SO deserve a cookie for that! Anyone want to share? No. *sticks out tongue* Fine.) going on?

And Gaius nods all cool-like and says, "It's all good, bro. It's all good."

Yeah, and don't ask me when Gaius went all gangster and Uther went all surfer dude. Because I just don't know, okay?

But that's basically what went down, only with a more… modern? weird? annoying? purple? … spin to it, yo.

Oh crap. Now I'm doing it!

All that to say, Uther doesn't believe Gaius at first when G-man (and that's not to say Gwaine, because, as you may recall, Gwaine's nickname is G-Man the Epic – Gaius is just G-man, ya dig?) tells him it's not magic, but eventually Gaius convinces him. Way to lie to the king, G!

Later on, as Gaius is carving up some sort of bird to eat… I'm not sure if it's a chicken or turkey… on second thought, maybe it's a ham, which I don't think is a bird, but I'll call in the expert "bird-spotter" to make sure. Hold on. *Calls loudly for Gwaine to get his gorgeous self over here*

GWAINE: Yeah, oh great Emachinescat whom I adore?
ME: Is ham a bird?
GWAINE: What a stupid question! Of course not, where would you even get the idea that I'd say it was in the first place? Honestly…
ME: Uh…

Well, that didn't work. Let's just say Gaius has some meat he's carving and while he works, Merlin tells him that he's happy about how Gaius protected the innkeeper by saying it wasn't magic, and then Gaius goes all weird. He says that it wasn't magic and when Merlin brings up some good points (i.e., the totem/ward thing that was in the doorway, the shimmery fix for Henrick's illness), Gaius tells him that he must be tired because there was no magic. Then he walks away with the food without giving Merlin any. Wow. Touchy.

That night, Merlin wakes up as Gaius is leaving and follows him through the lower town to where this mysterious woman is staying – although how Gaius knows exactly where to find her, I'm not sure. Surely they wouldn't have kept her house empty in the twenty years she was gone. Yep, it's been twenty years. After Merlin sees Gaius reunited with Alice (yep, her name is Alice, alright!) and runs off back to sleep, Gaius and Alice go inside to talk. Alice says she's missed Gaius and Gaius says he's missed her. She says it's been twenty years and he tries to get her to leave Camelot because apparently she uses healing magic – she was the one who healed Henrick and that's why Gaius lied to the king. She says she wanted to see him again and then they hug and it's SO sweet. Honestly, Gaius needs a girlfriend that's not going to lick his face with a frog time every time she gets ticked off at him. And this is different, it's a real (and I would say innocent, but even though she does love Gaius, she does have ulterior motives), sweet, old people kind of love. Not the "Let's make our own perfume… together" type. Yuck. Professor Sprout, that was not one of your finest moments.

After Gaius heads home, the ugly manticore thing pops up and tells Alice she's done well. Alice doesn't look too pleased at using Gaius for their plan but the manticore uses some sort of dark magic to turn her eyes black, which apparently forces her to do its will. Ah… interesting. So, things to know about manticores:

1) They're ugly.

2) They are control-freaks.

3) They're ugly.

4) They're little but feisty (and by feisty I mean brutal).

5) They're ugly.

That's a pretty good list so far. Oh, wait, did I mention that manticores are ugly? 'Cuz they are.

While Alice in Eviland is plotting with her pet psycho, Gaius is looking through a chest of old memoirs, reading old love letters given to him a long time ago by Alice. Hum, who's getting the wrong end of the stick here? I think it be… Merlin.

Ha, you thought I was going to say Gaius, but just wait. Merlin's the one who really gets crapped on this episode, although by the end I was feeling sorry for Gaius and Alice as well…

Anyway.

The next morning, this conversation occurs between Gaius and Merlin:

MERLIN: Did you… go out last night? (You bet he did, Merlin! He had a grand ole time partying with his sneaky ex-girlfriend!)
GAIUS: Yes. I had to get some herbs. (In the middle of the night? Right, Gaius…)
MERLIN: Herbs. (Apparently I'm not the only one who is skeptical of Gaius's outright lie, eh? Sweet.)
GAIUS: Um… a new supply. (Liar, liar… robe on fire! What? As far as I know, Gaius doesn't wear pants, just that long robe, and even if there is a chance that he wears pants under the robe, I'm certainly not going to look under it to find out! Gaius, because you know who you are and I know you know that I'm talking to you and I know you'll read this and I know you know I know you'll read this – can you tell me? Do you wear pants?)
MERLIN: Right… Do your supplies normally kiss you? (Ha, ha, love it Merls, no beating around the bush, eh? Heh, heh…)
GAIUS: (mouth drops open) You followed me! How dare you? (And again, I say, touch-y!)
MERLIN: Gaius, it was the middle of the night! I was worried about you; I thought you might be in some sort of trouble. (Nah, he was just curious, weren't you, Merlin? Hee hee… he has a bad habit of following people around… obviously, he's gotten better at it since season 3, episode 1 since he didn't get caught and chained up in nest of Serkets this time… not that I think Gaius would actually do that to him, but still… he'd probably make Merlin clean his leech tank or something. I dunno… I think I'd take the Serkets.)
GAIUS: There's nothing wrong. (Of course not, Gaius, you're walkin' on sunshine right about now, aren't you?)
MERLIN: *takes a step, looking at his shoes and says in an adorable, sing-song voice* What's her name?

D'aww, too adorable! I love sheepish!Merlin. By the way, what the heck is with the ! in between words that describe characters? Like limp!Merlin and whumped!Merlin and protective!Arthur and sheepish!Merlin and devilishly handsome!Gwaine and nose picking!Uther (what? You know he does it!)? I do it all the time but I don't really get it all the same. Kind of like how I did my science homework last semester without actually "getting" it. Get it? Got it? Good.

We find out from Gaius that he and Alice used to be engaged. They studied magic together and she was a natural at healing and magic in general. Then the Great Purge came along (otherwise known as "Uther Goes Mad With Grief and Guilt and Declares War on Magic") and Uther made a list of those that were to be executed for magic. Alice's name was on the list and Gaius marked it off, giving her just enough time to get out of Camelot, while he stayed behind.

Aw, what a sweet/sad love story.

Sometime after this, Gaius and Alice spend some time together, holding hands and reminiscing about old times. It's really sweet, but bitterly so because we know by now that Alice and Mr. Ugly have something planned… something that Gaius is going to be put in the middle of and that'll cause Merlin to get the short end of the stick… again.

Speaking of Merlin, we finally get our first real Arthur and Merlin interaction of the episode. Wow, what a relief! Don't get me wrong, sappy old people love is sweet and all, but I much prefer bromance to oldmance. Hee hee, see what I did there? Ah… so you see what I did there and that's why you're not laughing. Fine. I see how it is. (Not even a giggle? Darn.)

They're on the training field and Merlin is holding this hoop over his head while Arthur runs at it with a lance and Merlin looks scared silly to say the least. I would be too, if my best friend was running at me with a pointy stick. Which I wouldn't put past her. Really, I wouldn't.

Next, Merlin's holding a shield while Arthur continuously whacks it with a mace. I'm not sure how this helps Arthur fight better, because normally his opponents aren't cowering behind the shield. Not to say that there's anything wrong with that, Merlin, because I'd be doing the same.

ARTHUR: *whacks the shield over and over again* Come on, Merlin! Put your back into it!
MERLIN: *pokes his head out from behind the shield and tries to explain but is cut off as Arthur swings the mace again* Sorry, sire, I'm just a bit— *ducks back behind the shield and continues to cower*
ARTHUR: Pathetic? (Yep, that would be a point for Arthur. Darn. He's catching up – it's tied! What was that? Biased, you say? Me? You're kidding… you aren't kidding, are you? Hm. Thought not. Ah well, I may be biased but I'm not letting it affect the score, see. Point Arthur!) You're pretending to be a battle hardened warrior, not a… daffodil! (Another point for Arthur… who takes the lead! Yikes, Merlin, get your snarky butt in gear!)
MERLIN: Sorry, sire, I'm just a bit tired is all!
ARTHUR: Fair enough. (Merlin looks like… what the heck?) *Arthur holds up a giant hammer-thing of doom* Maybe this will perk you up. (Arthur, stop getting points!)
MERLIN: O.O

When Merlin gets back to his and Gaius's chambers, he meets Alice, who, as Gaius tells Merlin, is not only going to be staying with them for a while, but is also taking Merlin's room. Great. Merlin gets to sleep on the floor with a snoring Gaius. I can sympathize, because while I've never slept in the same room as Gaius, I have shared a hotel room with my grandmother, not to mention my mom's best friend. And lord knows I love them both to bits, but wow… it's like a log sawing competition… in HQ.

That night, Merlin wakes up to Alice talking and investigates, peeking through one of the cracks in his door to see that she's talking (i.e., plotting) with the manticore. The next day, when he tries to tell Gaius about it, however, G-man, who is blindly in love, refuses to believe it and basically blows Merlin off. Not fair, right? Just wait. This isn't the last time.

Merlin decides to prove to Gaius that he's right, so he gets the box that the manticore was in and opens it, but the creature isn't there and Gaius gets really angry. He's like, "You're crazy! What Alice keeps in her mysterious, magical box hidden underneath the bed like it's something she doesn't want me to see is her business!" *sigh*

Since Gaius is love struck and not about to help Merlin prove Alice's guilt, Merlin goes to the library and ends up enlisting the help of Geoffrey to find out more about the creature – and learns that it's a creature of nightmares that Geoffrey doesn't believe exists.

While this is going on, Gaius and Alice go about preparing Uther's shoulder meds and we finally figure out what Alice's plan is – she's got a vial of the manticore's venom and plans on spiking Uther's painkillers with it. Yet another person that wants Uther to kick the bucket. Gaius says some pretty harsh comments about how he wishes Merlin had her skills and then Alice is in the process of slipping the poison into Uther's medicine (because you know the old saying, "A spoonful of venom helps the medicine go down… along with your life, sucka!" … or is it "A poison a day keeps the doctor away… and brings the gravedigger in!") when Merlin comes in and she drops the vials, spilling medicine – and poison – everywhere. When Gaius volunteers Merlin to clean it up, Alice is like, "Nope, it's cool, I got this, no evil magical venom in here, hey where'd this extra vial come from? Weird, huh?"

What I think should happen is this:

MANTICORE: So… how did it go?
ALICE: Well… the king's not… himself anymore.
MANTICORE: So he's dead? The venom worked?
ALICE: Not… exactly. When I spilled the potion, I got the vials mixed up and, well…
MANTICORE: You fool! What happened?
ALICE: Erm… *whispers what happened in the manticore's ear*
MANTICORE: *listens, then recoils, shocked and angered* A LLAMA? He's supposed to be DEAD!
ALICE: Yeah. Weird.

Muahaha, I'm brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say!

Hee hee… Love that movie. And I'd love to see Uther llama-fied.

Just sayin'.

The next part is TOO hilariously adorable! Merlin decides to go do some night-studying in the library to try and find a way to kill the thing (apparently someone's spent too much time hanging out with Hermione Granger. Next thing we know, Merlin will be recruiting Arthur into S.P.E.W.)

MERLIN: Join S.P.E.W.
ARTHUR: What's spew?
MERLIN: It's protesting the outrageous treatment of house elves.
ARTHUR: House what?
MERLIN: They're like servants… except short… and bug eyed… emotional… and they don't wear clothes.
ARTHUR: Hm. I'm gonna say no.
HERMIONE: You're going to SIGN the petition or I'll throat-punch you!
ARTHUR: Yes, ma'am.
HERMIONE: My work here is done. Study session in the library later?
MERLIN: You betcha! And then we can nag our best friends until we're blue in the face!
HERMIONE: Yay!

Erm… Moving on… because that wasn't completely off topic.

Where was I?

Oh right, hilarious and adorable. Merlin.

He goes into the library late and Geoffrey of Monmouth (How COOL is it that he's the librarian? I mean, the Geoffrey of the Monmouth! Sweetness!) is sleeping with his head on his desk. Yes, siree, that's a real librarian, there. Merlin sneaks to go read some books (what he wouldn't give for an Invisibility Cloak, I'd wager) about How to Kill a Manticore When Your Guardian Just Thinks You're Jealous of His New Girlfriend for Dummies. And to clarify, the Girlfriend isn't for dummies, but the book is. So anyway, back to the adorableness that is Merlin, he trips over something in true Merlin fashion and wakes up Geoffrey, who is like, "Who's there?"

And Merlin, in true Merlin fashion, doesn't just hide or wait until Geoffrey gets bored and falls back asleep, but uses his magic to make the supplies on Geoffrey's desk float around him and says, "No one… you're dreaming… now go back to sleep…" And the way he says it is just HILARIOUS! Geoffrey looks all happy and just conks out again. This is amazing.

The next day, when Merlin tries to tell Gaius what he learned about the manticore, how they have to summon it and then kill it by destroying the portal (the box) because it can't exist in our world for long without it (kind of like how I can exist long in our world without chocolate), Gaius says, "I can see perfectly well, Merlin, and what I can see is that you cannot bear for me to be happy. I cannot begin to guess why that should be, but it saddens me… more than I can say."

Ouch. Right, Gaius, and how do you think Merlin feels about what you just said when he's trying to warn you about your girl's dark motives? From the look on Merlin's face, he's crushed. Poor Merlin.

When Gaius returns to his room, Alice tells him that Merlin's just being hostile because he's jealous. No, Alice. He's not jealous. He's also not smitten with you (which is good because that would be weird) and he sees through your façade. So don't try to hide it! And then Alice gets Gaius to relax while she goes about making Uther's new medicine, all set to poison it again. Woo-hoo!

We're back at the training field with Arthur and Merlin. It's a warm, sunny day in Camelot, and the field is full of fans… well, not fans, but full of… Merlin and Arthur, at the very least. Today's games will consist of spear-throwing – with moving targets. Merlin runs, Arthur throws, the spear hits the target… on Merlin's back! And the crowd goes wild! And what's this? An after-game conversation with the players themselves has been leaked to this commentator's box! Let's have a hear-listen (like look-see, geddit?), shall we?

… After these messages! :)

Stats:

Burn Meter 5000:
Part 1: Arthur 3, Merlin 0
This Episode so Far: Arthur 3, Merlin 0
Total: Arthur 45, Merlin 43

Shirtless Arthur Scenes:
Part 1: 0
This Episode so Far: 0
Total: 5

Smirk-O-Meter
Part 1: 0
This Episode so Far: 0
Total: 60

A/N: Yes, I know I said I'd do the whole episode in one, but the TV was commandeered from my control, so I'll finish it either later tonight or tomorrow, but either way part two will be up within 24 hours! Please review for now! More later! XD In the meantime, you can walk your hamster, eat a jelly bean shaped like Uther's face, or do the hokey pokey. See you soon! :)

~Emachinescat ^..^