Sorry for the lenghty wait.. I needed more crack inspiration.

I just happened to have a pixie stick...

xD

Note: This contains Winry bashing. A lot of it. I don't hate Winry at all.. actually, I very much like her. So this bashing is for entertainment purposes only, please don't hunt me down and shank me with a pitchfork.

Enjoy, peanut butter cookie heads.

Chapter Numero Something or Other, I don't remember:

Yo, Blondie!

All was normal in the quiet countryside that was Resembool. The farmers were chewing their cud, the cows were panicing at the disco, maps were attacking small children...the usual.

And, as per usual, Winry was tinkering around with some random thing she found in the middle of Old MacDonald's field. It was all big and metally and IT SMELLED OH SO AMAZING~ so she brought it merrily home and commenced to poking it with her handy dandy wrench.

"Stupid unidentifiable metallic object," Winry muttered, chunking her weapon (and tool) of choice at it in anger when she failed to take it apart for like the 4,000th time. "What are you, anyway, you cone?" (1)

The wrench smacked the ground with a loud thud and Winry bent down to retrieve it. "Sorry, wrenchy!"

"SORRY? OH, SO NOOOOW YOU'RE SORRY!"

Winry blinked, because there really wasn't another acceptable action.

"YO, BLONDIE, I'M TALKIN' TO YA HERE!"

Winry blinked again, because she really was quite slow, all blonde jokes aside.

"..Don't make me snap my fingers in a Z formation!"

Winry started to blink AGAIN, but even the manga world was getting a bit annoyed with her mentalness. She's already like, bipolar or somethin', and now she can't even talk back to inanimate objects? Silly girl.

"Eh..are you my mother?" Winry questioned, cocking her head in a doggily way.

"No, bish, I'm yo conscious."

"..So, does that mean you're not my mother?"

The talking thing did a mental facepalm. Geez, this girl really wasn't the brightest cup in the dishwasher.

"I'll give you a hint: I'm cold and grey and you like to chunk me at poor unsuspecting folk."

"Um..you're..you're EDWARD!" She screeched, clapping her hands in delight. "I KNEW you'd come for a visit!"

"Look down at your HAND," the object answered, voice conveying that I'd smack you all upside teh head wiff a spork if the author wouldn't get pissed at me tone.

"Ooh, I have nicccee hands," Winry cooed. "Nice, nice hands."

"I. AM. YOUR. WRENCH."

"Oh. So, you're NOT my mom, right?"

"GUR IMA KNOCK YOU INTO NEXT TUESDAY IF YOU DON'T HUSH UP.!"

"Somebody needs a hugggg!" Winry sang, clutching her beloved wrench to her enourmously over-sized chest. "It's okay, Wrenchy! We have each other!"

"Ima..suffocate..between..these..things.." Wrenchy wheezed, before taking control of Winry's arm and sucessfully smacking her in the face.

"Now, listen up, Blondie! I gots me a few things to say!"

Some music randomly began playing because this moment called for sexy dancing and music.

"DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD THAT FULLMETAL BRAT'S HEAD IS! How would YOU like to get thrown into a head of steel! Also, my name's not Wrenchy, bish. It's Edannequashia." (2)

"And ALSO.."

"My name is Humpty, pronounced with an Umpty. I like my oatmeal lumpy.." (3)

"NOOOOOO!~ MAKE IT STOP!" Winry yelped, covering her ears in a futile attempt to save her sanity. "NOT OLD-SCHOOL RAP!"

Winry bolted upright in bed, sweating horses. No wait, I think that saying's about cheesepuffs. Whatever. She was all scared and sweaty, kay?

She cautiously glanced around the room and saw her flying-dragon-unicorn-cat in the corner, laying atop a wrench. That didn't speak, nor move.

"Ah, okay, it was just a dream."

"What wuz, Blondie?"

Ling Yao was happily licking a riverbank when a strange highpitched scream echoed throughout his kingdom. He stopped, mid lick, and asked Lan Fan, "Dii joo heer tha?"

Lan Fan looked over from where she was trying to ride her chicken named Nancy. "It sounded like a fear induced scream caused by seeing something shocking. Perhaps we should call someone."

"Naaaah," they said unanimously, going back to the respective tasks at hand.

Winry was found three days later, curled up in a breadbox somewhere west of Drachma, with a suspicious looking wrench resting atop her box in which one normally places bread.

"So, Blondie, got any grapes?"

~Fin~ (like a fish. I like fish.)

Grapes are my crack. Seriously. Cats taste good, too..

ANTIWAY..

(1)- Cone. That's like, the worst insult at my school. I wondered if other people say it.

(2)- That's my right foot's name. Don't ask.

(3)- That song is the bomb-freakin-diggity. Go youtube 'Humpty Dance.' You won't regret it.

Thanks for reading!

Nurse a lightbulb, drink a grill, and don't drink and drive!
(Do one or the other.)

~FullMetalCrayon~