AN: Disreguard this message, riding a wheelbarrow ful of dicks up my own ass.
I was about jab a knife in my eye from the idea of seeing Big the Cat naked, hoping that the intense pain it would cause would help me forget the horrible mental image. I reached down to grab the gun Shadow gave me to destroy my enemies with, when all of a sudden a horrific yell echoed throughout the room.
I looked up hoping to see Big sprawled out on the floor in pain, but instead I saw Dracula screaming over in the corner. "OH HOLY SATAN. WHAT IS THIS PAIN. SHIIIIIIIIIII-" Dracula screamed as he fell down on the ground. And then...his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
I stopped. "Oh Satan! Duracla! What's wrong?" I ran over to is crumpled up body.
"I suddenly got this vision of a chili dog being slammed into my brain! I think I'm having a vision!" Dracula said as he somewhat regained his balance.
"Tell me! What do the visions tell you?" I said, impatiently.
"I see...I see Dr. Robuttnik!" Dracula began. "I see Dr. Robotnik holding Shadow...in BONDAGE!"
This stunning revelation somehow caused the universe to twist and turn and we were all thrust violently into the Station Square hospital. I was tied down to the bed (ew not yet perverts) and being treated for the giant open gashes in my arms. Jet and Vector and BIG were there with me. They were being shipped off to some facility somewhere because you can't have sex fiends teaching in a school filled with hot goffik girlz. Knuckles had constipated the tape and had punched the video camera so hard that the tape decided it was not worth existing anymore so it simply vanished. He then left the hospital room to go discover the cause of the sudden world shift. Jet and Vector then exploded in a giant firework procession of not-needed-anymore-for-this-part. I put my middle finger up at them.
Big the Cat then walked back into my room. He produced a bouquet of pink roses from somewhere, and I was not about to question where. "Enoby, we needs to talks bout soem thin," he said as he tried to hand me the roses.
"Fuck off," I said in disgust. "You shoulda known I hated the color pink. And besides, why would I talk to some purple prep fag like you?" I jerked violenty, forgetting I was tied down. Big had once tried to rip off my clothes wit his fishing pole one year because he was "curious why I had things all over me".
"No Ebony" Big said, his idiocy seemingly fading. "These are not just roses."
"What, are they goffs too you fucking poser?" I asked because now I was just curious why the hell he was here.
"I saved your life!" he said, angrily. "No, that was Knuckles," I retorted. "What YOU saved me from was from being prematurely debued on the internet. And from Jet and Vector viewing me." Who were MASTABATED over it he added silently.
"Yeah, whatever!" I huffed.
"As I said," he started again, "these are not just roses." He stared at them for a little bit and then took a bite outa them. "This is my lunch." He suddenly got a real evil look in his eye and shouted "VAEX WUX VUTHA IEJIR GHONTIX!" and suddenly the roses erupted in a giant burst of Hellfire and the souls of the damned shouted and flowed out from the fount of pure evil that Big was holding. He took another bite of the flowers, savoring the flavor of eternal damnnation.
"Oh-kay. I believe you. Now what does this have to do with Shadow?" I sighed.
Big just rolled his eyes. I looked into the ball of eternal torment but all I could see was a reflection of myself.
"YOU SEE, ENOBBY," Knuckles said as he walked in, wearing a wide brimmed cowboy hat, "To see what truly lies within the flames, you must find your Inner Weeabo."
"I know what I am, lowly echidna!" Big yelled. Knuckles stared at Big for a moment, noting the changed personailty.
Big decided now was the time to leave. He proceeded to rip open a hole in Space/Time and steped through. "Just know that one day, foolish mortals, I shall return! And I will feast upon your souls!"
As the rift closed, Knuckles sighed. "He gets like that when he's away from Froggy too long. Don't mind him." He left me a set of clothing and left too, by way of punching a hole in the wall and Gliding away from the 5th floor.
Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather mini-dress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Hideo Kojima all over them. I put my hair down so I looked like some crazed spirit from a bad Japanese horror movie. I put on some blood red lipstick, black eye liner, and black lip gloss. I fond and put back in several skull earrings.
Oh my way back to my room, I ran into B'loody Mary. "You look so kawaii, gurlfriend." she said sadly. "Fanks, you do too." I said back, equally as sadly. I felt bad so I ripped off my left hand and drank my own blood, then re-attached it with some of my lace. I went and cried in my bathroom and put on some shades so Jet and Vector couldn't see me this time. I then decided I missed enough classes so I went back to THE ACADEMY. Draclura was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures class, eating a piece of a Hufflepuff he just recently slaughtered. It's head was on a spike inside of it's once peaceful cage. The other Hufflepuff were crying in a corner. He was a little upset because his old ass-bandit friend Shadow was dead.
"Hi." he said deeply and offered me a piece of the Hufflepuff. "Hi back." I replied, taking it and began knawing on it.
We both looked at each other for some time. Drecelu had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Shadow's. Then… he whipped out his Hyper Weapon and shoved it in my mouth. I gladly began milking it.
"Ohoho. Why not whore yourself somewhere else missy?" Rouge said loudly. She was watching us, along with the rest of the class.
"Dracula you fucker!" I punched him in the face and got off his sexxy man-pole. "Stop trying to screw me! You know I love Shadow!" I shouted and ran away angrily.
Just then, Drucala let out a horrified yell. "OH HOLY SATAN. WHAT IS THIS PAIN. SHIIIIIIIIIII-" Dracula screamed as he fell down on the ground. And then...his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
I stopped. "Oh Satan! Duracla! What's wrong?" I ran over to is crumpled up body.
"I suddenly got this vision of a chili dog being slammed into my brain! I think I'm having a vision!" Dracula said as he somewhat regained his balance.
"Tell me! What do the visions tell you?" I said, impatiently.
"I see...I see Dr. Robuttnik!" Dracula began. "I see Dr. Robotnik holding Shadow...in BONDAGE!"