Dragon age isn't mine, belongs to bioware. Review plz. *heart heart*

"So, you want me to pretend to be your... what, master?" Alistair smirked, the joke lingering in his eyes.

"Well... Sort of. You don't really think they're just going to let me walk around Denerim wearing fine leathers and sharp daggers do you? I'm an elf, Alistair. Elves aren't allowed weapons within the city walls. And sure as shit they're not allowed to bloody well wander around the city with their head held high like they're someone important."

"but.. La, you are important!" he protested, the playful smirk falling away.

"Pfft, hardly. Anyway, do you think its really a super stellar of an idea for everyone in Denerim to know we're Grey Wardens?"

"Well, no I 'spose not. All that'll do is get us skewered.."

"Right. Exactly. See? This works out. All you have to do is walk around with a scowl and your nose in the air. Leli will be posing as your wife. Your very Orleasian wife." The Orlesian comment prompted a "HEY!" from Leliana. She snickered, but continued, "Zev will dress in squire's cloth, and I'll dress in handmaid's attire. Zev can carry my pack with our equipment in it and once we're inside we'll head to my fathers home and the three of us can change..."

"So does that mean I get to put on that lovely wedding dress you always carry around?" Leliana asked curiously, pawing over the few things in Asyla's pack.

"Yes, just this one time.. and if you ruin it I'll cut off all of your hair. Eyebrows included. Don't even think I won't." she said, only half-jokingly.

"I have a feeling, my dear woman, that this is not something our La-la is joking about." Zevran purred, patting a suddenly frozen Leliana on the hand.

"...But, don't city elves hate humans?" Alistair was frowning now, rubbing one hand over his stubbly chin.

"We don't hate humans.. we just, dislike them. A lot. Besides, I know you, and it's my home. They're not going to attack you and Leli. They probably wouldn't even if I wasn't there. They're more scared then they are violent. Though If I know my Shianni, I wouldn't recommend going there on your own." Asyla winked, "Oh Ali it'll be alright. I know you can do this. Besides, you can totally make a spectacle and kiss Leli in the middle of the market."

"Wha.. I wouldn't.. I mean, not that Leliana isn't kissable.. but.. I.." the ex-Templar floundered, stumbling over his words. His tanned cheeks darkened, rose color blooming over his face in a flush of embarrassment. This sent the rest of them into a fit of gulping, side aching laughter. From across the camp, a chortle belonging only to Morrigan could be heard.

Asyla snickered, then shouted across the clearing, "Be careful Morri, or I'll make you go instead of Leli!" This received the response of, "Not if I twas the last woman left alive, Warden!"

Alistair looked like he was about to throw up, or maybe pass out, but more possibly he looked as if he could just die. It took him far less time to recover then it had for him to falter, managing to unglue his tongue. He took a deep breath and turned his hazel eyes on Asyla.

"La-la, why must you tease me. You wound my pride!" he said, clutching his chest with his right hand. He drew his left arm over his forehead dramatically and feigned a swoon. This caused a whole new wave of laughter, and a grunt of disapproval from Sten's direction.

"Alright, Alright. I get it. Leli's my very very Orleasian wife, I'm a noblemen from.. I don't think I can pull off Orleasian, La.."

"Be from Redcliff then... or Gwaren..."

"Gwaren? You do realize that's Loghain's Arling right?"

"Mmhm, I do. Do you really think the guards will question a lesser noble from "King Loghain's" Arling?" She felt dirty, twisting her lips around that particularly horrifying phrase. A shiver ran own her spine, Loghain's words to her at Ostagar echoing in the back of her mind. "You're pretty for a Grey Warden. Don't let anyone tell you that you don't belong. The first Warden Maric brought to Ferelden was a woman, best warrior I've ever seen."

"Well I don't see why you need all this trickery." Wynne clucked, having emerged from her tent looking a bit like she'd not slept in twenty years.

"Wynne I just went over this with Alistair. Why is it the only people in this camp who understand how this kind of thing works are the Assassin, the Bard, and the Witch? I'd blame it on Shemlen ignorance, but two out of those three are shems.." She huffed, frustratedly. Leliana winced at being called a Shem, and Asyla instantly felt horrible for it.

"Come now, my dear. Let us not speak of our tall, round-ear companions in such slanderous terms." Zevran drawled, sliding an arm around her waist. She sighed, dropping her head against the taller elf's shoulder.

"Sorry.. I'm still not completely used to being friends with humans. Leli, you're not a shem. Morrigan either."

"What does that mean, anyway?" Alistair asked, his curiosity piqued. He pulled at his cloth breeches, setting down on the log next to her and Zevran.

"Shemlen?"

"Yes. The Dalish called us that, and you like to throw it around while your in the middle of being mad and swearing. I figured it wasn't something very nice, but you always look so.. guilty when you use it.."

"Well, that's because it's an insult. Well mostly. It's an old Elven word, one of the few we still have. The Dalish have more, I'd expect..." she took a deep breath, "It effectively means "Quick Children". If I remember what Valendrian told us when we were little, Elves were timeless once. Ageless. Once we ran into humans, we started losing that, and blamed it on Humans. From there they enslaved us, destroyed everything that was .. Elven.. and, one bloody vicious cycle later did it again. So, calling a human a Shem, or Shemlen, is.. "

Zevran piped up, catching her inability to explain it, "It would be as if we were to call you a Child, Alistair my good man. Being that you are young, by emphasizing it, we would be saying.."

"Yes, that my opinion aren't valid. I get it." Alistair was nodding, as if grasping the general concept.

"It's more then that, it's an insult that can mean anything, especially in the manner it was used. It's a really hard habit to break." Asyla said sheepishly, fiddling with her fingernails.

"Is that why you never call Alistair a Shemlen?" Leliana asked, her head tilted in curiosity.

"Ali couldn't be a Shem If he tried. Way to nice." Asyla said with a wide grin. "I really should watch my mouth. No one here falls under that particular slur. Human or not, none of you are ignorant children."

"Humph."

"Despite what Sten might believe."

"Are you quite sure, warden? Alistair surely qualifies as an ignorant child."

".. I hate you so much Morrigan."

"Don't make me separate you two." Asyla snickered, eying the two as if they were small children.

"Right, so, once we are inside Denerim, hoping our little ruse works in the first place.. then what?" Alistair asked, his glare still turned in Morrigan's direction.

"Well, then we can do a few things. We're going to go see, what was his name? Genitivi?..about the Ashes first off. We also need to get some supplies, and I promised Leli that we'd look for her crazy ex-bard..teacher? What was she to you anyway?"

"It's complicated.."

"Well there you go. We'll go look for, "Its complicated". We can also stop by and see if your Sister will see us, Ali. If you still want to, that is."

".. I do."

"Alright then. I've also got a couple of people I need to talk to. They'll keep us updated on the guards and any information we might need to haul-ass out of there. You know, in case the Crows show up," She looked pointedly at Zevran, "Or if Leli's "Its complicated" tries to ambush us," she winked at Leliana, "Or if anyone recognizes me as, well, me. Or worse, they figure out we're Wardens."

Bebouse, the Mabari that had attached itself to her after Ostagar, yawned, stretching his paws towards the fire. She smiled and dropped a hand to scratch the dog's back. "Why can't the whole world be as simple for us as it is for you, huh boy?"

"That, my dear, is the million sovereign question!" Zevran chuckled, tightening his arms around her middle. It had been a very nice trip across Ferelden. They'd managed to skirt the hoard by looping around the lake, past the circle tower, and down the northern road. It also helped that Alistair and Leliana had conspired to give her a few nights off.

She'd been sure Alistair would have taken issue with her new... infatuation, with Zevran. He'd been flirting with her since Ostagar. At first she'd been put off. It wasn't exactly as if she had loved Nelaros. Void, if she were truthful, she would have admitted that she hadn't even wanted to be married. The pain of seeing him die and leaving so abruptly was still fresh, though. Also, other then Duncan she'd had zero good contact with humans.

Not to say Alistair wasn't handsome. He was. He was a nice guy, too. Even funny. That didn't mean she was in any hurry to jump into bed with a Human, no matter how cute he was when he wrinkled his nose. She'd spent to many of her twenty years trying to help her family get by, and some of that had been no less then playing dress up for humans.

The Assassin though, now he was something exotic, charming. She had tried to hate him. He represented a whole different male stereotype that she had no patience for. Yet, he'd been surprisingly deep, and unlike the humans in her group Zevran actually understood what her life had been like.

"La-la, you're a million miles away all of a sudden. You alright?" Alistair was looking at her with concerned hazel eyes. She tossed him her very best La-la smile.

"Of course. I'm just tired is all. Who has first watch tonight?"

"I will do it, Kadan."

"Not alone you wont. We've been lucky enough to skirt the hoard so far, but that doesn't mean I want you out here alone, Sten." Asyla sat up, straightening her back and putting on her best Commander Asyla face. "And before you protest, I am fully aware that you are capable of guarding the camp by yourself. I trust you. Bebouse can sit on this watch. He's been lazy enough tonight."

Bebouse squeaked, which was an interesting enough noise for such a large dog, and stood up. Asyla watched as be padded quietly over towards Sten. Sten grunted an approval, nodding his head towards the dog. "As you wish, Kadan."

"Thank you. Morrigan and Wynne can relieve the two of you in 6 hours since neither of them will be coming with us into the city. Ali, Leli, get some rest."

"Asyla you really aught to get some rest yourself, As well." Wynne chirped up. Asyla's green eyes darkened as she looked at this woman. She'd very, very recently chided her blooming.. thing.. with Zevran. Asyla wasn't even sure what it was. Friends with benefits? Maybe more? It had only been two weeks! It wasn't even a thing thing yet. Mind you, there was lots of sex.

It didn't matter. Asyla didn't need a mother, and she wasn't about to let this old mage shem lecture her on what her duties were. She liked Wynne alright, but sod if she liked her enough to take advice on relationships from her. Asyla would sooner take relationship advice from Sten.

She opened her mouth to comment, but Zevran was already talking, "Worry not, my dear woman. I will make it my personal responsibility to see to it that our lovely La-la gets the proper rest required of a Gray Warden." Asyla felt the corners of her mouth curl deviously. Oh, she was pretty sure she would sleep very soundly.

Wynne huffed, quickly disappearing behind the flaps of her tent. Alistair was smirking, shaking his head as he disappeared behind his own. Morrigan had wandered off towards the far side of the camp to her own tent, and Leliana was tucking away the food for the night before vanishing herself.

A shiver ran down her spine as Zevran's warm breath hit her ear, "Come now, my dear. Let us away. We mustn't delay your.. rest."