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Shelter from the Storm
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Chapter Fifteen ~ Wonder Woman [Happy Halloween Two]
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[Ranger]
''Daddydaddydaddy! You have to take me and Killy to my party! ''
I looked up from the copy of Guns & Ammo I'd found on the coffee table under the NY Times.
My five year old daughter Zoe was all dressed up as a very cute little witch. Other than the nauseous green face and the pointy hat, she actually looked more or less normal in a ruffled black velvet skirt and black t-shirt, and orange, purple, and green striped leggings.
Oh and on her feet...oversized, pointy, red sequined slippers, leftover from last year's Judy Garland outfit.
"Are you the Wicked Witch of the West?" I asked.
''Yes! But we gotta go, daddy. Please, can you take me? It's at school! We gotta go right now!"
No, it was Killer the pug who made me stare. The mournful little man was dressed up as...I'm not sure? Yoda? Little grey bonnet, anyway, with long pointy ears. Grey fur makeup. Black sequined harness and leash. Plastic gizmo shaped like a skull, eyes flashing, teeth chattering, worn as a dog tag at his throat. Killer's eyes bulged ominously.
I was too smart to ask. Instead I said, "Baby, it's Sunday. No school."
"Yes but we have a party! Remember? I told you ALL about it! A Punkin Patch Party! Ella made punkin cupcakes! And peanut butter muffins! We gotta go! And bring the treats."
''Uh...''
''We made them green and they have orange frosting with little sprinkle bugs and gummy worms and gummy cockroaches and and and..."
I glanced at my watch. No way in hell...
"I have an appointment, sweetie."
Fists on hips. ''What kind? You said it is Sunday! And you're just sitting around.''
''Um, I need a haircut. The barber was gonna fit me in...where's your mother? Or Britta?'' Britta is our Swedish nanny.
''Britta has Sunday afternoons off, daddy!'' Long suffering voice, like You know that. "...and mommy had to run over to help Grandma M.''
''Hmmm...why?'' I got up and started looking for my shoes and guns. You knew I'd cave, right? My cell phone buzzed even as I shoved it into my pocket. ''Babe.''
''Hi, Ranger. I had to run out. I'll help Grandma here, really fast, I hope—and we'll meet you at the party, at Zoe's school.''
"What's wrong with Edna?"
''Oh nothing...it's just that, well, the class mother asked the parents to wear costumes too—Grandma was going to come to the party with me and Zoë, you remember how she loves Halloween?''
I put a jacket over my guns, waved Zoë towards the door of the apartment. ''Uh huh.''
"Don't forget the cupcakes!" hissed Zoë.
''...So this year she borrowed my Wonder Woman outfit. And she decided to give it a trial run..."
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We got on the elevator.
"So she wore it to church this morning! And when she went up for communion, the whole top fell off, she's a little...skimpy up there, ya know?"
"Babe." Zoë's bodyguard Arkady Petrovich got on the elevator on five. He stared at me, then smiled down at Yoda and The Wicked Witch of the West.
"And so some idiot off-duty cop tried to arrest her for indecent exposure! He grabbed her and when he cuffed her the little skirt fell off too. Right in the church, with everyone there for mass. All she had on was a tiny glow-in-the-dark lime green thong and the boots, Ranger!"
My stomach lurched.
"Babe, she's not the same shape as you, what was she thinking?"
''She was thinking she was Wonder Woman, Ranger. Duh.''
I buckled Zoë into her booster seat in the family Cayenne. Killer got buckled into his little doggy seat. I handed Monster the big flat box of cupcakes. He rode shotgun.
"Did Vinnie bail her out?'' I asked.
''No, no, Father Salvatore intervened, got her covered with someone's raincoat and I brought her home. Now we're trying to hot glue gun the outfit to her tracksuit, so it doesn't scare the children!''
As if that would help? Edna Mazur scares my battle-hardened men. And me.
''Okay, babe, I'm driving Zoë and Killer right now.''
"Oh thank god!"
''But, babe, I don't have a costume.''
I could hear the sexy smile in my wife's voice. "Superheroes don't need a costume, Batman. You're perfect just the way you are.''
She hung up.
'We drove a couple minutes in silence while I thought about being Steph's, uh, Superman. Then at a red light, a little voice came from the backseat.
"Daddy?''
''Yeah?"
''Joey Morelli says there's gonna be a toilet that oooooozes slime, green Kool-Aid slime! With smoke-ice! And we're gonna get to drink it!''
''A toilet?''
''Yeah. He says his daddy got the idea from some old movie.''
''Uh huh.''
''Daddy? ''
''Yeah.''
''Is toilet slime—yummy?''
''Chica...''
''Yeah,'' she sighed, ''that's what I thought.''
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the end of the story/ series tbc
Here's the link for Killer's Yoda hat, be sure to look, it will make you smile!
www[dot]etsy[dot]com/shop/jessicalynneart?ref=seller_info
I ll put in my profile too, in case ff won't let it show here.
Thank you for reviewing!