Something stupid

Roxton chases her down the stairs into the hallway that connects the personal rooms of the tree-house. He catches up to her before she manages to enter her room and holds her tightly by one of her arms spinning her around sharply (almost violently) causing her to stop in her tracks, almost knocking her down (and finding an almost morbid pleasure in the aggressive act, but he doesn't allow himself to think too much, anger is his driving force in those moments).

-"Damn it Marguerite...didn't you think to discuss it with me first?"- he asks, raising his voice, visibly upset.

-"Let go of me Roxton¡" she replies, trying to shake his arm to escape his grip.

But the man squeezes tighter, holding her back, his fingers leaving blank impressions around her slender arm, and pulls her dangerously close to his own body with a tug.

-"answer my question Marguerite¡ , because I swear..." he hisses angrily.

-"I didn't want to, okay?" -she says in a very low voice, almost whispering, almost shy, almost guilty, creating an absurd contrast with his screams. Then she lowers her face in shame, unable to hold the hunter's dark gaze for a second longer, guilt hanging heavily between them.

- "You didn't want to? You didn't want to? ...But what kind of bloody answer is that?"-a growl of disbelief rises from the hunter's throat and grabbing her jaw with one hand he lifts her face fixing his attention on her again, scrutinizing the truth in her bright eyes.

She presses her lips tightly together creating a firm white line between them, biting at the truth to keep it from escaping him. Her stubborn silence ends the Lord's reserves of patience who grabbing her by the arm again aggressively drags her into his room, thus trying to elude the worried heads peeking reservedly out of the stairwell.

- "Talk to me¡, bloody hell, we're in this together and I want to know why, YOU OWE ME MARGUERITE¡ "-

She raises her head defiantly, (owes him? owes him what? But who does he think he is?) indignation flashes again in her blue eyes darkening them, sparking anger at his nasty ways, she shakes her arm harder, and this time manages to escape the strangle hold the man has on her and automatically rubs it trying to soften the scarred skin.

-"I didn't mean to, okay?"- she cries out and turns once again towards the hallway in a new attempt to escape the situation.

But Roxton is quicker (or simply knows her better), he holds her again and closing the door angrily smashes her against the adjoining wall immobilizing her with his body.

-" NO, I don't agree, "I didn't want to" is not an adequate answer, and DON'T EVEN DARE you put up that bloody wall again and lock me out again do you hear me? We are together now and I want to know why? I deserve an answer Marguerite, a good answer, a sincere answer, not that nonsense you just threw at me, because I want to think there is a minimally intelligent reason that somehow justifies the stupidity you did there...so I'll ask again Marguerite...why?"-

He towers imposingly before her and suddenly Marguerite becomes aware of how solid his body seems in contrast to hers, how tightly he is holding her, how magnificent the muscles of his arms are under her hands, how formidable his height is and how small she seems in comparison.

She moves closer (something she can't help doing apparently, at least not with this man) and the smell of him wafts over her, something pungent, a mix between sweat, anger and danger, she can't quite make it out (but male, definitely male) and she sees how, at her own moment of perception, he too becomes aware of their closeness, of the proximity of both their bodies.

She sees how his pupils dilate and hunger is reflected in his eyes. Anger is giving way to another kind of emotion, just as primal, just as intense, but of a very different nature, (though the two tend to mix very well) Marguerite blushes furiously guessing perfectly what the Lord has in mind, the two of them have mixed those two emotions enough times not to mistake them for something else. She can't help but smile a little, she feels the shift in the balance of power, it would be so easy for her to pull him into the realm of desire and away from the truth

But unfortunately for her she also sees the pain and despair behind the desire.

And fear, she also sees fear, fear for her. He's scared for her

And that makes her back off.

No, John doesn't deserve such gross manipulation of her feelings (and if she's a little honest with herself she must admit she owes him an explanation after all).

- "Why?"-he insists again, though somewhat softer, not leaving a sigh between them.

Marguerite catches her breath and lets it out in one breath, the truth is like a band-aid, it hurts less if it's quick - "because I knew you would be the only one who could change my mind John, and I didn't want to change my mind, I wanted to do it, I needed to do it...and you wouldn't have let me...That's why I didn't tell you."-

John crosses his arms and closes his lips tightly, trying to silence a rude response that he knows could force a crack in the delicate balance that is already his relationship with Marguerite. Shaking his head angrily, he releases her and walks away from her. He tables his short hair, wanting to understand her, desperate to get through to her.

- "what you did was...the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do Marguerite...and stupid is an adjective I've never associated with you, you may be many things but stupid is not one of them!"

- "But it worked, didn't it? I rescued Malone, John."

- "barely, damn it Marguerite, if Veronica and I hadn't shown up when we did I don't know how you would have fared...if something had happened to you I..."-he raises his voice again, desperation clinging to his tone-"I still don't get it, what did you have to prove and to whom, explain it to me again...?

She raises her eyes and stares at him, she feels pain, shame and her eyes water, she doesn't want to finish confessing her motivation, John is asking her for a trust she has never had with anyone, that would give him a power over her that she has never given to anyone, it terrifies her.

- "Who Marguerite? Not me, we've established that point before, so who? Challenger?"- without reaction - "Veronica?"- she blinks in response-"Veronica then, what did you have to prove to her? Is it because of something she told you?"- she blinks again and lowers her head in embarrassment.

Roxton huffs angrily, he is starting to lose his patience again, this game of a thousand questions with Marguerite is making him nervous, for once, just for once he wishes his relationship with this woman wasn't as lurid and difficult as it is.

- "Come on Marguerite, I'm here aren't I? I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere, tell me what she told you, trust me."

- "it wasn't what she told me"-her voice sounds strangled and weak, she closes her eyes not to look at him.

Roxton knows he's pushing her hard and she's making a great effort to communicate (he must grant her that), just the fact that she's trying and hasn't run away is already a big breakthrough for him (obviously the evasion attempt earlier doesn't count for him). But Roxton has made his game very clear, he's not backing down, they are now engaged for better or worse, he won't abandon her but that also demands commitment from her. That the sex works so well between them is a wonderful thing (and God only knows how many times he's been grateful that she enjoys their encounters as much as he does) but it's also instinctive for both of them, it comes out on its own, effortlessly, (being honest he's always known that would be the case, he knew it from the day he met her)...just the chemistry flows.

But trust...that's another matter entirely...that's the real stumbling block in their relationship and it's something they both have to work very hard on if they want their relationship to work (and he wants it to work, God knows how much he wants it to work), when it comes to Marguerite it's always been "a forever", no hesitation.

- "she didn't really say anything to me, it was how she looked at me..."-

Roxton gives her some time, he's learning that if you don't force her and wait, she tends to open up more, she's like a scared colt, you have to let her mark her own time

-"...like I've let her down again, all over again, like I created the problem on purpose, like I'm to blame for Malone's situation, like I don't deserve to belong to her family"- she bites her lip regretful and ashamed of what she just revealed, guilt surging out of her in waves, like a tsunami sweeping away what's left of her sanity

Roxton looks at her perplexed, that she doesn't feel worthy to be with them is not new, (neither is guilt) but he thought they had gotten over those feelings long ago, the same wolves over and over and over again damn it, the woman has more layers than an onion and it has the same effect on his eyes, it brings tears to them every time he peels back a layer.

On the other hand he can't help the resentment he feels against Veronica, it's not the first time the blonde's inflexibility against Marguerite has almost caused a disaster. If he loses Marguerite because of her, he doesn't know if he will be able to forgive her despite the strong fraternal feelings he feels for her. He bends his knees to be at Marguerite's eye level and grabs her by the neck with both hands to lift her face.

- "listen to me, because I don't want to have to repeat this to you again all right?, you weren't to blame for Malone getting into that mess, he's old enough to take care of himself and stay out of trouble, you have nothing, Nothing to prove to me or anyone else, let alone Veronica, and there is absolutely nothing to justify you endangering your life the way you have."

He realizes that she is about to launch into an objection.

- "no Marguerite, no excuses, I almost lost you today, you know how that made me feel...sometimes I think you have a real death wish"-he tells her helplessly-"swear to me you'll never do anything like that again, swear to me Marguerite!"

She blinks the moisture from her eyes and watches the desperation in that man's face (which she knows perfectly well she doesn't deserve) and her heart beats faster, she tightens her grip on his shoulders and pulls him towards her to claim him in a searing kiss. He responds with enthusiasm and her body comes alive again in his arms, there is no more anger, no more fear, no more guilt, all those feelings dissolve and transform at breakneck speed into desire, into a liquid and scorching fire that sweeps everything in its path and that settles strongly in her insides and right now, at this moment, the only thing she is one hundred percent sure of is that she needs him and she needs him now, inside her to extinguish that fire that threatens to melt everything in its path.

When he enters inside her she manages to forget everything, her mind goes blank and there is only that amazing and perfect sensation of him moving with her

They will finish talking later (she doesn't think he will be satisfied with what has happened), he will insist and insist until he manages to convince her that she is worthy once again, and he will make her swear again that she will never do anything so stupid again (and yes, she agrees with him that it was something stupid even if it made sense to her at the time) and she will consent because she loves him fiercely, really really loves him, because if what she feels for this magnificent man is not love she doesn't know what else it can be.