A/N - This fic is mostly parental Roy with Ed, but it does take place around 6-7 years post-canon, so Ed is in his early 20s and Roy is in his mid-30s. I've tried to keep the vibe of their canon relationship pretty much intact, but since some time has passed they have grown into closer and more equal friends.

Ed does not have alchemy or the autodial arm. He is married to Winry and Roy is married to Riza! No kids quite yet :)

The beginning of this fic is all Ed whump, but at the end of the fic it turns into whump for both of them.

Title is from "Inkpot Gods" by The Amazing Devil.

Ed flattened himself against the cinderblock wall, listening for footsteps and mentally cursing Roy for getting himself into this situation. He'd assumed that once he no longer worked for the military, he'd get entangled in less of Roy's messes, but so far that had proven very much untrue.

Before the trouble had started, he and Roy had been in a small northern town for an Alchemy Convention. Ed couldn't do alchemy anymore, but he still knew more about the theory than pretty much all of the current State Alchemists combined, and he'd jumped at the chance to hear in person about all the new techniques and trade secrets. Roy had, as far as Ed could tell, mostly gone to show off and soak up as much recognition as he could.

So in a way, Ed supposed that it really was Roy's own fault that he'd been spotted and identified as the Flame General, hero of Promised Day. They'd been leaving the convention on the second day when a car had skidded up to the curb, doors already open. A few armed men had snatched Roy right off the street, and without alchemy, there was really nothing Ed could do but watch the car drive away.

Ed had been able to find out who the kidnappers were without too much trouble, but the more he knew, the more he started to worry about Roy. The group was fairly well known in the North area of Amestris as a radical ex-military organization. They had supported the factions that had fallen during Promised Day, and were willing to use any means necessary to keep the dream of totalitarian control alive.

Ed didn't know exactly what they planned to do with Roy, but he knew it wasn't going to be good. He would never admit this to Roy's face, but the General was probably the single most famous figure to arise during Promised Day, not to mention the most talented alchemist (now that Ed was no longer eligible, of course). From what Ed knew of the terrorists, and of Roy's reputation in Amestris, he guessed that they were planning to make a very public, very deadly example out of the General.

And Ed was not about to let that happen. He'd called Riza, and General Armstrong, and just about every military official that he could think of, but the whole point of Promised Day had been to de-emphasize military presence in Amestris, and any backup was going to take far too long to arrive. He'd had no choice but to go after Roy on his own.

Much like the kidnappers' identity, their base was also pretty easy to find. It seemed that they were something of an open secret around the small town, which was horrifying but not all that surprising. Ed had driven out of the town, into the surrounding forest, and had kept going down the tiny dirt road until he'd seen a small military compound appear in the distance. He'd parked the car outside and made his way up to the outside of the building without being noticed. The compound had a scattered few guards posted at the doors, but no one was watching the windows. Ed had grown a lot since Promised Day (reaching about Roy's height, or a little taller, depending on who you asked), but his build was still slender. It had been easy enough to slip in through the high window undetected.

At that point, Roy had been missing for eighteen hours. Ed was pretty sure he must be more or less okay, because if the terrorists had done anything to him, it would have been public. He'd probably be kind of weak, and shaken up, but Ed was sure he wouldn't be too late. He couldn't be.

The compound was huge. Ed had a hard time imagining there were that many military supporters after Promised Day, since it was obviously such a stupid take, but Ed had to assume there were at least fifty people in here. Ed was cool, but he wasn't able to take down fifty people on his own. He couldn't take down fifty people toting Roy around either, even if the bastard could do alchemy. The fewer fights he managed to get in, the more successful this was likely to be. He hated to admit it, but the ideal number of fights was probably zero.

Luckily, even with a metal leg, Ed was pretty sneaky. He'd also gotten a rough-drawn map of the compound from a guy in the town who'd worked there back when it had just been a military base. There were a few holding cells, and Ed figured that was the place to start. In all likelihood, that's where they would be keeping Roy.

Ed stuck to the shadows, moving as quietly as he could. It was evening, verging on night, so the halls were pretty empty. He figured if he went slow, ducking around corners or into shadowy rooms if he needed to, he might be able to get all the way to Roy's cell without detection.

It took him the better part of an hour, and he felt shaky with the intense effort of listening for any sign of footsteps, but finally, Ed arrived at the hallway that contained the cellblock. There were two guards posted at the end of the hallway, which wasn't a guarantee of anything but made Ed feel that there was a pretty good chance Roy would be held in one of the cells.

Winry had helped Ed make a little hand crossbow that shot darts laced with a sleeping drug. Ed was pretty good with it, and it was great for not killing people. Honestly, as long as he could drop someone with one shot, it was pretty good for getting places quietly too.

Ed loaded up the crossbow out of the guards' line of sight. It would only take one dart at a time, so he slipped the second dart into his hand. He would just have to reload and shoot the second guard as quickly as possible, before he had a chance to raise the alarm. And then pray that there were no other guards in the hallway that Ed couldn't see.

Luckily, losing his alchemy hadn't made Ed any slower. In fact, he thought he honestly might be faster now. He took out the guards without a hitch, shooting one while the other's back was turned. As the clueless guard turned back towards his unconscious buddy, he got a dart of his very own in the side of the neck and crumpled without a sound.

Damn, Ed was good. He kind of wished someone had been there to see it, but the guards had been a little outside of any of the cells' eyelines. Not that he wanted Roy's praise anyway, but he would have liked to rub it in the bastard's face a little bit.

Ed dashed across the passageway to the two guards' bodies, moving as silently as he could. He wasn't that worried, since he hadn't seen that many people in this area, but better safe than sorry. Quickly, he tugged the guards a little bit further down the passageway, out of sight of the main corridor. If someone passed the cell block and noticed that the guards were gone, Ed was probably screwed anyway - they probably wouldn't assume that the guards had just wandered away. Still, it was better than leaving unconscious bodies sprawled conspicuously across the floor, and it might buy him an extra minute or two.

Ed patted the guards down for keys, but came up empty. Apparently this kind of low-level grunt was only entrusted with guarding the prisoners, not with opening the cells. He did find their guns, which he dropped through the bars of the nearest empty cell. He wasn't going to use them, but he certainly didn't want these guys using them either.

Most of the cells were barred with heavy metal doors. There were small openings for trays of food set into each door, but no windows. Ed frowned, really hoping the rest of these cells were empty. A small escape, even one involving General Bastard, would be a lot easier than an escape with other random prisoners.

Tentatively, Ed knocked on one of the cell doors, and was greeted only by silence. He continued on down the cell block, hoping that the six odd knocks he had to make wouldn't raise any alarm.

On door number four, Ed was greeted with a very familiar, very tired-sounding voice. "I'm not going to divulge any information. Whatever it is you want, you're not going to get it from me."

Ed snorted. "Stubborn fucker. It's me."

There was a gasp of surprise from inside the cell. "Edward?"

"Yep," Ed said proudly. "I snuck in to rescue you, since you managed to get yourself captured. You're welcome."

Roy gave an annoyed sort of snort, and there was a sound of someone sitting heavily back down, with slight overtones of indignation. Ed smiled to himself.

"How are you planning on getting the door open?" Roy asked angrily, and Ed's smile widened.

"Unlike you, I'm always prepared." Ed fished a small lock-picking kit, the tools neatly wrapped in leather, out of his pocket, and held it up. Then realized there was no way Roy would be able to see it through the door. "Lock-picking kit. I got this."

Roy scoffed. "Edward, you do realize if I wasn't tied up I could open the door with alchemy, and seeing as I am tied up, I couldn't exactly pick a lock…."

"Also, you don't know how."

This was met by silence, and Ed went to work on the lock. It took him longer than he wanted - a couple of minutes. There was still no sign that they'd been discovered, but Ed knew with every passing moment they spent in here, it increased the chance that they wouldn't be able to make it back out.

At long last, the lock sprang open, and Ed pushed his way inside the cell as quietly as he could. Roy was seated on an uncomfortable-looking bench. There was a long metal bar between his hands, with shackles at either end - his arms were forced nearly straight. Ed had been held in many various positions designed to prevent circleless alchemy, but this was a new one for him. It looked horribly uncomfortable.

"Ouch," Ed said mildly. "Let's get you out of there, huh?"

Ed went to work on the cuff holding Roy's right hand, praying it would be easier to work on then the lock on the door. It was, and Ed helped Roy remove his hand from the shackle. He lowered it back to his side with a pained groan.

"You're fine, right?" Ed said, suddenly worried. "They didn't actually hurt you?"

"Just stiff," Roy said, sounding a little breathless.

"Well that's just 'cause you're old."

Roy frowned as Ed went to work on the other cuff. "It's been…what, almost a day since I could move my arms? You would be sore too."

"Yeah, but I've also had two surgeries on my shoulder. So it's different."

The cuff released Roy's other hand, and Ed pulled the bar away. Roy immediately began massaging the pins and needles out of his finger, rolling his shoulders a few times to get the range of motion back.

"You didn't happen to bring a lighter, did you?" Roy asked.

"Um…." Ed had put together a whole little "rescuing Roy" kit, which he was carrying on his back. Unfortunately, he'd been under a little pressure when he'd been trying to figure out what to bring, and a lighter wasn't among the items. "No."

"Havoc would have remembered a lighter."

"Yeah, well Havoc isn't the one saving your ass," Ed snarled.

"I'm just saying, it would have made things easier when we're trying to get out…."

"Well maybe I don't want everyone we meet barbecued, ever thought of that…?"

"Oh yes, I suppose it would be better if we died in a terrorist compound!" Roy rose to his feet, crossing his arms angrily. Ed couldn't help but notice that he was moving slowly, and it looked like it pained him to move his arms.

"Let's just go," Ed snapped, turning away from the infuriating General. He had about a thousand more points to make, but it looked like Roy might have trouble making it out of here. As much as Ed loved a good argument, it wasn't worth the time it would waste where they might be able to remain undiscovered. He promised himself silently that as soon as they were out of danger, he'd circle back to this and really give Roy what for. "Come on."

Roy snorted softly, but Ed could hear the bastard's footsteps following him out. They were a little slow, but they weren't too loud - hopefully, they could make it all the way out without being seen.

"You have to be really quiet," Ed whispered to Roy before they set off in the direction of where Ed had left the car.

Roy rolled his eyes expressively, scowling at Ed. "You know, I have done clandestine operations before, Edward. I know what a stealth mission means."

"I mean, it's just I wouldn't exactly call you 'subtle-'"

"Do you even hear yourself!?" Roy hissed, then took a deep breath. "Just…just go, okay?"

Ed nodded, slipping silently out of the passageway and heading back the way he had come. Roy followed, and Ed concentrated as hard as he could, listening for footsteps that weren't his or the General's.

Their progress was slower than Ed's had been on his own, which was something he'd planned on, although he hadn't expected to be slowed down this much. Roy was clearly still very sore and stiff, and Ed could tell that he was having to choose between speed or silence.

It had taken him about twenty minutes to get to Roy's cell, but after ten minutes of sneaking along with the General, Ed knew they weren't even close to halfway. They had to be running out of time before the kidnappers realized that Roy was missing, and Ed began to debate the wisdom of just making a run for it.

Before he'd decided one way or another, there was a shout from the way they'd come, and Ed knew the choice had been made for them.

"We have to run," Ed hissed urgently. "They know you're gone."

But running seemed to be out of the cards for Roy. Ed tried to be understanding - it had been eighteen hours since he'd eaten or drank anything, and even longer since he'd had a good meal. He likely hadn't slept, and he'd been tied in a horribly uncomfortable position. And that was assuming he hadn't been tortured or anything on top of that - Ed didn't think that he had, but it wasn't exactly like they'd had a conversation about it. Roy was clearly in pretty rough shape, and it was possible that he was in even rougher shape than Ed knew.

But it was hard not to be impatient as Ed took Roy by the arm and tried to drag him forward. Ed was pretty sure Roy would fall on his face if he tried to pull him too fast, but damn it, they were going to get captured if they kept going like this….

And then they turned the corner, and came face to face with two guards.

These didn't seem to be the guards who had realized Ed and Roy were missing, and there was a split second of hesitation and confusion while they went for their weapons. Ed had a small tube tucked into his belt, which would turn into a spring-loaded metal staff at the push of a button. With the push of a second button, he could snap it into two sticks. His staff was also courtesy of Winry, who was always down to try out making a cool weapon.

In less than a second, Ed had the tube in his hand, and in another second, it had sprung out into a five foot staff. He swung it forward, and swept the legs out from the first guard. He crumpled. He took out the second guard with a blow to the head, praying it wouldn't be enough to kill him. The first guard was still conscious, albeit clearly in pain, so Ed plucked one of the crossbow bolts from the pouch in his pocket, and plunged it into the first guard's arm using brute strength. Instantly, he went limp.

Ed stood and turned back to Roy. He was looking rather unsteady on his feet, one hand braced against the wall.

"Come on, come on!" Ed hissed. He had the sense it was probably too late at this point. They really hadn't been able to afford any delays if they wanted to stay in front of the guards who had discovered Roy, and Ed was sure the fight hadn't been silent. But still….

Roy pushed himself off the wall and struggled forward, carefully avoiding the limp bodies on the ground. But they hadn't even made it to the end of the hallway when another group of guards appeared around the corner behind them, this one much louder.

"There he is!" one of them shouted.

Ed whirled around, staff in hand. Roy just kind of stood there helplessly next to him. As much as Ed hated to admit it, Roy was normally very good in a fight. But he still seemed a little out of it, and he didn't have any way to make flame. He'd never fully gotten the hang of using circleless alchemy during combat the way Ed had, but boy was he deadly with a lighter.

The guards were on them before they had a chance to react, closing the distance so quickly that Roy didn't have time to close off the passageway. Ed tightened his grip on his staff, wondering if there was any way they could make a break for it, but that hope was dashed as he heard more footsteps closing in from the other end of the hallway. They were surrounded.

Ed glanced quickly around as Roy turned towards the new arrivals. He counted six guards, which would have been nothing if the alchemist had been ready to fight. As it is, Ed was fast, but six guards would be a challenge. Still, it wasn't like he had much of a choice.

Ed ran towards the group of four guards, disconnecting the staff into its two component pieces. He caught the first guard in the ribs with one stick, at the same time landing a blow on his temple. He crumpled to the ground, knife falling out of nerveless fingers.

Before Ed could really even think through what he was about to do next, the others were upon him. Ed ducked around the first guard's knife strike, stumbling directly backward into a second. He felt a solid blow land on his ribs, and his grip on one of his sticks loosened. It clattered to the ground as Ed drove the other backward, hearing a rush of breath as it made contact with the guard's stomach.

Behind him, he could hear the telltale sounds of transmutation, so Roy must have snapped out of it enough to pose a threat. That was good, because it was all Ed could do to stay upright in the midst of the three guards that were surrounding him. Luckily, it seemed that these guards didn't have guns, which Ed supposed made sense for a group of outlaws.

But even without guns, they were good. The guard Ed had hit in the ribs had produced a large, nasty-looking knife that was currently hurtling right towards Ed's face. Ed's second stick clattered to the ground as Ed dodged out of the way, putting the guard in an excruciating wrist lock he'd learned from Izumi. The guard went to his knees, dropping the knife, and Ed kneed him in the face with his automail leg.

The guard slumped unconscious to the ground, and Ed let go of his wrist. Roy had managed to take care of one of the guards that had come from the other direction, and the other one had closed the distance between them. In general, Roy was more comfortable as a longer range fighter, and it looked like he was trying to force the other man backwards and get more of an opening. Ed wasn't worried about him, but he didn't think Roy was going to be much help in taking down the last two guards. He would have to take care of that.

Ed turned back the way they'd come, squaring off once more. The sounds of transmutation mixed with Roy's remaining guard screaming from behind, and Ed realized with an uncomfortable jolt that he was now empty-handed.

And then, he saw that one of the remaining guards had a knife in his hand, and he was mere inches away from driving it into Roy's back.

Ed didn't think. He shoved Roy bodily out of the way, hurling himself in between Roy and the knife. Ed felt Roy stumble.

And the knife plunged into Ed's stomach.