My eye twitched. I just payed one million yen to man who I've never even seen in my life. Are foreign bananas really worth that much money?! Well, they are foreign, damn them Canadians.

I glare at the crate and examine its wooden texture, it has 'danger lions inside' written on the sides. Damn re-usable crates.

My phone rings. "What?"

"Did ya get it yet? Didya? Didya? Didya? Didya? Di-"

"I GOT IT DAMNIT!"

"Oh….."

"Do you know how much money you just took from me? We're not that rich!"

"Look! Im so sorry! I'll make it up to you! But whatever you do, don't open until I come home! What's inside is priceless-"

"Priceless my ass!"

"Anyway! Don't open it!"

"Oh, I'm gonna open it,"

"No don't!"

"You're going to suffer now!"

I hung up. "Clarice, take this phone from my presence! Don't answer any calls, if you forget for a second, and answer, tell him I twerked it, and then I broke it. He'll know what I mean."

Clarice took my phone and walked away suspicious of me. I picked up the crate, and well, would you look at that? It's not even heavy.

"The mountains? Why?"

Tamaki leaped into the sky happily. "It'll be a wonderful bonding time with your beloved daddy! Whatdya say?"

Haruhi sighed. "I have to study."

"Don't be such a nerd Haruhi!" Hikaru starts,

"Yeah, its not good for your metabolism."Kaoru finishes.

"What does my metabolism have to do with-"

I slam the door open. "Why the hell are you relaxing in my garden! Not you Haruhi, you're welcome all the time."

"Thanks."

"Anyway! Haruhi! Come with me!" I pull her by the arm and head back inside. I figured if Haruhi knows how to open packages, after all she always orders cheap things online.

Taking her to my room, we both stare at the package. "What is it?"

"I have no idea, open it for me."

She sighs and mutters something ineligible. After almost five minutes, Haruhi manages to open it.

"Should I open it all the way?"

"Yes!" I decide to open it myself.

I slam the crate open.

"Eh."

Standing before us, was a girl no older than us. She was completely naked, and her hair was the color of peaches.

"Oh my god! My brother bought a prostitute off the black market!" I cover poor Haruhi's virgin eyes.

She removes my hands. "More importantly, she's not alive. See?"

I scream in fright as Haruhi touches the girl's chest. Haruhi was right, she wasn't breathing, but that's not the issue.

"There is a naked dead prostitute in my- "

"Be quiet, you'll make Tamaki come rushing up here!"

I calmed myself down. "Now what."

"I don't know,call the police."

I think about it. Bringing the po-po in this will only make us suspects of murder, and aint nobody got time for that!

"Hey look an envelope."Haruhi picks it up and reads it. "Dear Natsu Tanimoto, thank you for purchasing with our company and we gladly receive your patronage,

Here we present, Peach Bliss 01, we hope you enjoy our latest product. Turn her on before 30 minutes pass with her as your product to prevent self destruction."

Self destruction?! Who would buy something that self destructs?! On top of that, some kind of blow up doll!

I glance at Haruhi, who has a bewildered face as she still reads it aloud. "The products lips have a sensor in which it can recognize its owner, this is the way in which it may turn on."

"Oh. Owner! Let's wait until Natsu comes back!"

Haruhi interrupts me. "Didn't you hear? When did you purchase this?"

"I don't know, three o'clock."

Haruhi glances at her clock. "It's three twenty-eight, hurry up and kiss it."

"What?!" I almost fall over. "You expect me to kiss it?!"

Haruhi seems rather calm about the situation. "We are two minutes away from self destruction, Do you want to die?"

She was right. I hate it when she's right, she makes me sound as irrelevant as those stupid hosts. "Why don't you kiss it!"

"You bought it! I already have enough with my debt of the host club, I'll never be able to pay you back."

Damn it. I had to, but I swear brother, when you come home…

You are minced meat.

Thanks for reading! :D DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC.