I was stalling. At this rate, we were fifty three seconds from ultimate death, and only I could save the world.

Or more likely I'd save thirty acres of the world, come on, let's be rational here.

"five seconds!"

Holy crap! How am I supposed to kiss a naked girl?! I'm not DEPRAVED!

"Five, four, three, two."

Haruhi is enjoying this! "one!" Never mind that right now!

I push myself and press my lips against its lips.

The room fell silent. I kept my eyes shut, and waited. Why would I wait?! Why didn't I do some Matrix crap and jump behind my bed? That would have been awesome.

"Finally."Haruhi laughs.

"What do you mean Finally?!" I said wiping my lips.

"I lied."

"You lied?! Why?"I demanded.

"How else would I get you to kiss it?" She chuckles.

Im going to kill her. "Say hello to Asphyxiation!" I leap for her neck.

"Hello, boyfriend."

I stop for a moment. Did it just speak? I could have sworn it just spoke. Haruhi and I both turned our attention to the nude robot.

It looked alive. It looked human! It's cheeks were rosy and it had the cutest smile that hapy-go-luckied the atmosphere.

Before I could mutter out anything that would make me sound like I had this situation under control, it jumped onto me and hugged me. "Let's go on a date!"

WHAT?!

"What's taking them so long?" Hikaru asks staring up at the window.

"It's so boring without either one of them."The twins both said in synch.

Tamaki paced around. "I knew it! Maka-chan is jealous of Haruhi's luscious hair that she has decided to shave it off!"

He squealed in fright as he imagined Haruhi without hair.

Kyoya glanced up at the window. He could see a large brow crate. Suddenly, Maka-chan peeks out, jolts, then shuts the curtains.

"Well that's suspicous.."

"Get it off me!" I shouted. It was hugging me so romantically, and its skin felt so real, along with two twin body parts she keeps rubbing on me!

"Hey, can you let go of her for a second?" Great, Haruhi is trying to communicate with it. Who knows, it could speak some sort of alien language!

"But she's my boyfriend.." She says, teary eyed. What the crap?! Robots don't cry!

"You can have her all to yourself, once we resolve this situation." Haruhi says, with her boyish charm that she uses when she's hosting.

"Okay!" She kisses my cheek and frolics to the bed.

I franticly wipe my cheek. "What now?!"

Haruhi thinks for a moment, as she scans through the manual. "It's a lovers robot, it apparently acts as your lover."

"Don't tell me…"

My brother was THAT desperate?! What the hell is wrong with just hitting on some girl? Its not like getting a girlfriend is that hard!

"She thinks you're her boyfriend."

"Eh?" I look over at it. It blows me a kiss, and I turn around quickly. Clearly robots are not informed well about anatomy.

"Why don't we get it some clothes?" Haruhi awkwardly says.

No kidding. I don't want to look at its plastic reproductive parts all day long! Ugh, now I sound like a sex offender…

"Haruhi~! Can we come in?"

CRAP.

After it reluctantly refused to put on clothes(unless I did it), we managed to put on a simple t-shirt and shorts on it.

What'll I do now? If the hosts find out about it, Ill never hear the end of it!

Like always, Tamaki bursts through the door. He glances at our position, Haruhi trying to put shorts onto it, as the shorts reached up to her thighs; while it was clinging to my neck with its lips puffed. Dear lord, why does it have to look so wrong?

Thanks for reading!:3 DISCLAIMER: I DONOT OWN OHSHC!