Disclaimer: I still don't own The Mortal Instruments yet, (Cassie still hasn't got to me) so say tuned until I do! =p

Also, I used a couple of lines from City of Bones when Clary and Jace kiss in the garden; in italics. I did not make that, it's Cassandra Clare's. No copyright intended.

So, glad you guys liked the chapter! This is only the beginning guys, just warning you ;p So thanks to all the people who reviewed! =) Made my day, again. Also, thank you to those you made this story your favorite and/or added it to your story alerts! Oh, and I decided this would be a treat since it's the weekend. I was planning on updating this yesterday but I had to review it and stuff and it took a while because, as you can see, it's one looong chapter (for me). I can tell you this, I really don't know how long/short my chapters are going to be but I promise they will be at least around a thousand because I hate super short chapters! I'm warning you now that it's long; it's about 2,000 words (and there is some mild language). I was going to split it, but since I was in a good mood, I decided not to torture you guys =p Also, I know I updated three times since Sunday but I can't always write that often. I still have lots of work to do, (stupid school) chores, (gag) and other stuff that kept me busy. After this, back to school work X/ since I finished this chapter. I was working on this for a while, so it took much longer than I thought it would and like I said before, this is a treat. Now, I'll leave you enjoy my treat.

Chapter Two: Drown in Your Memories

Clary's Point of View

I opened my eyes and blinked, confused. Why the hell was I curled up on the floor? I wondered. I got up, feeling stiff and cranky. Great, now I'm feeling like an old lady! I'm suppose to be a Shadowhunter for the love of the Angel. Not an old lady!

I unlocked the door and went down the hall to the bathroom. Staring at myself in the mirror, I could see that I looked absolutely horrendous. My hair looked just as good as a haystack, flaming curls wild and loose everywhere. Last of all, I stared at my face, finally noticing the dried up tears running down my cheeks, the red puffy eyes, and the cracked lip where my front teeth feel snugly in it which was laced with dry blood.

And that's when reality came crashing back down on me, like waves lapping on the sandy beach. Flashbacks of what happened earlier raced back into my mind. I half-stumbled half-dropped on the cool white titles. I squeezed my eyes shut, but it didn't help. In fact, it made it worse. Jace's masked face as he broke up with me was burned into the back of my eyelids.

I opened my eyes, unable to take it and just sat up against the tub. I pulled up my knees, wrapping my arms around them and resting my chin on top of them. Taking deep breaths and counting backwards from ten, I attempted to calm myself.

It didn't work. Jace's face flashed in front of me, painfully so. I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't hold it back. I whimpered and nearly sobbed out loud. The only thing that stopped me was remembering my mom and Luke – I mean my parents – would hear. I had no idea where they were. I could feel the line when I furrowed my brows together, confused as to why they didn't snatch me up as soon as I set so much of a foot outside of my room.

I tried to recall the time but I couldn't. Damn, I cursed mentally. There just had to be no window in here didn't there? Crawling on my knees, I reached up to lock the door before pressing my ear on the door. I heard nothing. Silence. What time was it? How long was I sleeping on the floor after…

Trying to distract myself from where my thoughts were heading; I washed my face, trying to make myself look less…hideous. After drying my face I looked into the mirror, to see the tear streaks were gone. My goal was also complete – I distracted myself. Trying to buy myself more time, I grabbed my hairbrush, starting with brushing just the tips of my hair and working my way up. Each stroke was painful; anywhere I put my brush, it came across tangles and knots.

After a good deal of time spent on combing my hair, it certainly looked better but I felt like I had my hair grabbed by a two year old trying to make me bald. Pressing my ear once more to the door, I listened again. Silence greeted me. Cautiously opening the door so it wouldn't make a sound, I exited the bathroom. Peering down the stairs, I saw no lights on so headed down.

Each time the floorboards just had to squeak – it couldn't resist taunting me – I nearly jumped out of my skin. It loudly pierced the silence and I kept glancing backwards and waiting a few seconds in case my mother or father decided to see what the noise was.

Thankfully, the one and only good thing that happened today, they didn't come. I felt guilt gnawing on the knot in my stomach for not letting them know what happened but I pushed any thoughts that lead even remotely close to him away.

Stepping into the kitchen, I saw moonlight filtering in through the window and the curtains, basking the kitchen in a soft white glow. The slight wind swayed the curtain through the half opened window that showed the harvest moon. Pausing, I took in the beauty and to gaze at the stars that I never saw in New York City. I gazed at it, thankful that this didn't bring back any memories like it might have. The beauty was too great to be ignored and begged to be sketched or painted. Making a mental note of taking some time to do so, I tore my gaze away from the stunning beauty.

I finally made my way to the middle of the kitchen to find myself absent mindedly getting food. I didn't even realize that I was hungry – starving in fact. I hesitated but after my stomach growled, I decided to just eat. I opened to refrigerator and rummaged around it until I stumbled upon an apple.

Slamming the refrigerator door shut, I quickly searched for more food in an attempt to not think about what I was thinking about. Except like every other time that day not including the stair situation, it popped right into my mind against my will; it was too bad I didn't want to remember, I remembered anyways. It broke down my mental walls as if it were leaves and the memory the wind, carrying the leaves around. The wind clearly in power, leaving the leaves being swept away, light as a feather.

It was the knife Jace had been using to cut apples, lying on the sides. She had jerked hastily back to avoid stepping on it, and her shoulder bumped his – he put a hand out to steady her, just as she turned to apologize, and then somehow in the circle of his arm and he was kissing her.

'Stupid apples' I was only part of what I wanted to scream while yanking out all my hair. Why did every damn little thing remind her of him! I dimly realized that it was in third person rather than first; as if I wasn't myself and rather watching myself. It reminded me of how it was now; it was me, not any more. At least even my own memories realized what happened, it just wasn't me anymore – it was a past me. One I wanted to forget but couldn't.

Sighing out loud, I settled for fruit snacks so I didn't have to clean anything up and risk waking up my parents to do the dishes. I ripped the packet open and popped the first one into my mouth as I treaded heavy-footed up the stairs as quietly as possible.

When I entered my room, I could see the actual darkness without the moon now since it was in a different perspective. Glancing at my alarm clock while eating more fruit snacks, it read around midnight. Sighing, I flicked on the light to get my pajamas dreading going to sleep.

As slowly as possible, I changed into shorts and a tank top, wincing at the memory of the blue shorts and tank top. Everything seriously just loves to torture me and remind me of what happened. Thank god I didn't wear those today since just about everything reminded me of that night, the night when we shared out first kiss on my birthday.

Closing my eyes and counting to three I cleared all thoughts from my mind. After opening them I glanced around my room, trying to think where I left my sketch pad. That would definitely hit the spot. Frowning slightly I glanced around the room once more while finishing the last of my fruit snacks.

Sighing again, I crumbled up the package and hurled it with unnecessary force into the trash can that was empty. Why oh why did I have to leave it at the Institute! I thought bitterly. I am such an idiot! The last thought had me face palming my forehead. I inwardly groaned and decided that it was finally time for me to go to sleep and to stop procrastinating. I can't avoid the inevitable.

Who knew I was ever going to dread going to sleep? With all the training for becoming a Shadowhunter and trying to catch up, it left me exhausted. Waking up at the crack of dawn and going to sleep late had me so tired that I normally welcomed sleep with open arms like an old long lost friend.

I slipped under the covers trying to just concentrate on just breathing but I couldn't. I franticly tried to think about anything else. I know it sounds pathetic – maybe I am pathetic – but I ended up counting sheep. I got up to 175 before I couldn't take counting sheep anymore.

Sighing, I turned to my side and curled up my legs and my hands were cupping my cheek. I tried thinking about nothing but that didn't help either. I mean, how could you think about nothing at all?

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling before I finally gave in; knowing it was going to cause a lot of pain afterward but this couldn't be helped.

Closing my eyes, I pretended that Jace and I were still together. He was still my badass angel. I pretended that he was here with me, his arms wrapped around me; making everything but us just disappear. Feeling safe and at home in his arms. I actually felt that he was still here with me, a ghost of what was left of him.

When I finally feel asleep, still thinking about Jace, I ended up having flashback sort of dreams where it was actually events that happened and I was reliving them. It felt so real.

It was me and Jace on the vampire motorcycle, me hugging him tightly around his waist, having a blast with no care about the world even though we had just almost died. I was not feeling in the least scared of the heights with him there.

Then, it was me and Jace in the greenhouse and he was saying happy birthday to me before we kissed. In the back of my head, I wondered why I kept remembering this moment.

Next, it was us in the Seelie Court, the Queen saying I had to kiss the person I most desire and then I was kissing Jace. I felt like I was drowning in his kiss, but not wanting to end, especially when Jace pulled away. We thought we were still siblings then and it wasn't right for siblings to kiss.

Last but not least, it was Jace and I kissing at the bottom of the hill when the manor had collapsed after we killed the angel that the house was tied to. I mentally winced because Jace and I argued afterwards. He had been convinced he had demon blood in him, when in truth, he slightly more angel blood just like me.

Each memory brought a painful jolt; in the back of my mind, I knew I was going to regret this. Big time. But I just couldn't stop thinking about him! And couldn't stop think about the past.

Past.

The last memory was crumpled away, like a Shadowhunter being burned to ashes. In my dreams or memories or whatever it was it turned jet black. Then, I made out the tiniest white glow, getting larger and drawing something.

There was a rectangle, like the rectangular shape of a door and inside it was a swirl. It looked like what people drew to represent the wind for paintings or drawings. The swirl started out from the right and curled around in a circle a couple of times, never touching the outer circle as it made a new loop, before stopping in the middle of the swirl. It looked like wind blowing towards the left.

I snapped open my eyes, jerking upright in bed, gasping. I was confused, I wasn't having a nightmare but something about it made my heart pound like a hammer. I glanced out my window, and it was still dark although slightly less black. Looking at my clock, I noticed that it was only a couple hours after midnight.

Damn, I thought to myself. Now, I have to go through the sleeping process again! As if the first time wasn't hard enough! I continued to ramble to myself about the unfairness of the situation.

I thought about laying back down in bed and going to sleep but I felt wide awake despite the petty hours of sleep I got. I felt like I just had coffee, adrenaline rushing through my veins. Mmm, coffee, I thought to myself but I couldn't have any, not if I wanted to go back to sleep. What am I going to do about training? I wondered, thinking ahead. I brushed that though away but truthfully, I had no idea whatsoever.

I started getting settled in bed when a sudden urge made me get out of bed and grabbed my stele off my nightstand. I stopped just outside of my door, unsure of what I was doing. For some odd reason, I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and I was getting nervous. I could feel cold sweat dripping down my back, despite it being the perfect temperature in my room. What the hell am I doing? I franticly thought.

I twirled the stele in my hand, trying to feel its calming reassurance and sure enough, it worked. It was my mom's old stele, and it had gone through thick and thin with me. I destroyed Valentine's boat with this, drawing only a simple open rune on the wall. I volunteered to give it back to my mom after she became a Shadowhunter again but she insisted that I keep it and that it was mine now and she got a new one, not that I minded.

I always like it despite it being old. It was beautiful and something about it drew me towards it, probably my artistic side liking its appearance, for it was better looking than most. Closing my eyes, I recalled the rune in my dream; it was a simple but beautiful design.

A crazy idea popped into my head, and I carried it out before even thinking about what I was doing. I drew the rune exactly the way I saw it in my dream onto my door. Past, I thought as I drew it on my door. Past.

When the rune was complete, it shimmered a slivery white –reminding me of the moon – before disappearing altogether. I could feel the confusion on my own face. Why was the rune a slivery white? All runes are pitch black! This is not good. I babbled in my mind. And I'm not suppose to put runes on inanimate objects unless it on a rock for witchlight. What in the world was I –

The door glistening broke me out of my reverie. Peering at the door, I couldn't help to try to stifle a gasp.

Instead of where my door was suppose to be, it looked like a portal replaced it. But it wasn't a portal, it couldn't be. I am the one that literally invented the portal rune! The rune certainly didn't look anything like this rune. Something in the back of my mind whispered, past.

I couldn't help but to look at the door – portal – again. It certainly looked like a portal but something was…off. It was nagging my brain but I couldn't figure out what it was.

I faced it for a few minutes before something whispered, think of what you desire. Think about the past. The voice was captivating; it wrapped around me, making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Possibly even safe. Come, it coaxed. I felt immediately reassured as I wondered about the voice. It sounded like me…but it didn't sound like me too. Taking too much time pondering it repeated in my head, think of what you desire. Think about the pass. Come.

I felt a shiver run up my back. Something told me that this was not a good idea, listening to voices that sounded and didn't sound like me but curiosity had me wrapped me up in its clutches. Curiosity killed the cat, warned some part of my mind but I paid it no heed.

Stepping closer to the portal or whatever it was, so that I only had to take a tiny step to enter. I was barely an inch away from my nose touching it. I felt like raising a hand to touch it, to stroke it but I didn't. Well, I finally responded to my nagging part of my mind, I'm not a cat.

Suddenly, Jace popped into my mind to what felt like the longest time ever. True, I did try to distract myself from thinking about him but that didn't entirely work; I was always thinking about him. If I was captivated by the portal/door before, I was lost to it now. The words came rushing back into my mind. Think of what you desire. Think about the pass. Come.

With that, I stepped through the shimmering door, my thoughts wrapped around Jace.

I warned that this was a long chapter (for me) so anyways, I hope you guys realized that I have a talent for cliffy endings! =p I hope you guys liked the chapter and if you see any mistakes, you guys can tell me since constructive criticism is always welcomed. Please, please, PLEASE review! I know that not everyone has reviewed (sadly) but please try to review, just take a second to say if you like it or whatever. I'm not going to require a certain amount to continue like some authors because I hate that. If people like it (or not) then they do (or not) and I'm not going to force anyone to review just so I continue. Writing should be enjoyable (though stressful when you writer's block) but I would never do that but I would still like reviews!

Also, there is a poll that I posted up, asking about whether you want me to post up songs that go with the chapter. And if I get people to say yes, then I will go back to my last chapters and post the songs on those chapters and do it for continuing chapters.

And thank you someone (you know who you are ;D) for saying they liked my writing, thanks a bunch! I always thought that I was a poor writer since everyone at my school is really good and especially my sister (she got the IRLA brains in the family) so that really made my day! And keep trying, since apparently I'm good =) But I'm thankful for everyone's reviews so don't think I'm singling anyone out or anything (which is why I made the person someone unless they don't mind being pointed out to. If you do, I'll change it if you want).

P.S. If you didn't notice, I changed the name of the story from City of Broken Hearts to City of Glass Hearts. If you guys like the new one better or the old one, tell me! I'll put up a poll for that too or you guys can say it in your review (hopefully if you review) so check it out!

***Reminder this is set AFTER City of Glass. And don't forget to review!