Shelter from the Storm

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Chapter 34 ~ Kiss Me, I'm Irish

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Ranger

"Daddydaddydaddy! It is almost time for Killer's trip to the beauty parlor!''

The show quality pug needs monthly grooming. I looked up from my computer—a replacement issued after my MacBook was destroyed during last week's disastrous visit by the lethal Izzy brat. I saved the security plans for my new client onto a thumb drive, and looked over at my four year old daughter Zoë. "Okay."

The long suffering tiny dog was clasped in Zoë skinny little arms. His belly bulged and his little feet dragged. The dog was dressed in a glittery green harness and wearing a hand knit hat that had green things instead of ears. He looked sadder than usual.

Zoë set him on the rug and I now could see he was also wearing a tiny t-shirt that said Kiss Me I'm Irish. Killer scrabbled a bit, found his balance, and ran over, hid under the desk. I stuck my hand down to pet him and he moaned. "What's up, dawg?" I said. He sneezed. Eeew, on my hand.

''Mommy said can you bring us because last time she had Killer in the car, he had a hissy fit! And then she ran into a stop sign and crashed! And she needed four stitches in her chin. And she got a hunnerrt dollar ticket from Officer Nose Pick!"

Not to mention the 3 grand repair bill to her current Cayenne.

"Gaspick, chica, the man's name is Gaspick."

"Whatever."

''As long as you were all okay, baby."

She nodded. "Well, except for the stitches..."

''So when are we going?''

''Oh daddy we have a spa date for the doggy salon at 7AM on Monday, before I go to school. And then you can pick Killer up, he can spend the day with you!''

Or, not.

"We'll see."

"But daddy! Nevermind that! Here is what I want to show you! See Killer's ever so pretty Irish hat?"

''Uh huh."

''It has shamrocks!''

''That's what the green things are?''

''Yes! And I have this book, lookit!''

She climbed onto my lap and thrust a small picture book into my hands. I looked. Then I read, "Shamrock, The Irish French Poodle...?''

''Yes, look!''

I opened the book.

''See? Shamrock the doggy in the story is GREEN! He lives in Dublin and he falls in a keg of green beer on St-Paddy's Day! And he is lost, and and and GREEN! and so he follows the parade and the bagpipers to this pub and the men there give him Guinness, what is Guinness? Nevermind I will google it...and so they name him Shamrock, and the man who owns the pub is sort of scary...He says to Shamrock: Behold... and despair... your new master!—but the scary man is actually very nice he is just teasing Shamrock and then he gives Shamrock more Guinness. Who yip-yips! and thinks in his doggy head, Oooh, la, la! C'est la vie. That is French. It means esta la vida, did you know that?"

"Mmmm." I turn the pages.

''Then this skinny rich mean lady comes to claim poor little Shamrock. She is very snotty and she says Your reward!" Zoë pointed at the page. ''Go on, read it!"

I read: '' 'The publican looked angry. He said, I do not want your gold. The rich lady said, Then what? The man who rescued poor Shamrock made a very scary face and whispered, I want your head! And the mean lady who didn't take good care of Shamrock was afraid and she ran away. Shamrock stayed at the pub...' "

Zoë interrupted, " '...and he lived happily ever after!' At the pub!"

Who writes this stuff for kids? And who the hell publishes it?

"Hmmm."

"So—isn't Shamrock really pretty when he is green?"

''Uh...''

''So I was thinking Killer would ever so much like to be green.''

''What! No.''

''I saw bunnies that were pink and blue, daddy. So Killer could be green."

''Where were the bunnies?''

''At the petting zoo we saw them on our school trip last week! And the baby chicks were yellow!"

''Zoë, I believe chicks are always yellow.''

"That is not the point, daddy."

''And the point is?"

''Killer must be green for St-Paddy's Day."

"Why?''

"Because we are Irish!''

I stared at her. So far as I know there is not one drop of Irish blood in me, in her, or in the dog. "We are not Irish, baby."

''Uncle Lester says on St-Paddy's Day everyone is Irish.''

''Well, I suppose...''

''So...green Killer?''

''No.''

"No?"

"No."

the end

pls be sure to see Killer's hat! LOL, really.

St Paddy's Day/ Kiss Me I'm Irish: Killer the Pug's shamrock hats:

real links in my profile.

www[dot]etsy[dot]com/listing/67846007/dog-hat-irish-with-four-leaf-clovers

www[dot]etsy[dot]com/listing/65240287/dog-hat-irish-pride-hat

and if you haven't been to my blog yet, pls come visit and read my very different Paddy's Day story, and others, over there

http[slash slash]:mercenaryranger[dot]blogspot[dot]com