Disclaimer: Seeing that I'm still waiting to get CoFA, I am obviously not Cassandra Clare...yet. Just wait 'til my demons come back to report =)

Ok, so I was really happy about meeting the goal (and if you didn't realize yet, it makes me update faster =D) but unfortunately, FF was having problems yesterday with signing in so I couldn't upload it. So, here it is! P.S. I decided to make it into another chapter and NOT part two (I wanted to name this chapter) so if you were wondering about part two, don't worry! This is it and now this is the longest chapter! Oh, and thanks to those who added my story as favorite and/or story alert as always =D

Chapter 7: Shadow

Jace's Point of View

I woke up with a start, my head pounding and cold sweat running down my back. My head ached slightly and I jumped out of bed, startled by the time.

Damn, I cursed mentally. I overslept! Well, that's what happens when you're more than buzzed. I brushed my teeth and quickly ran outside to the kitchen to see only Maryse there, a thin line on her face.

"Jace–" she started.

I cut her off by raising a hand. "I know, I know, I overslept. I'm sorry," I apologized before she could say anything. I knew how she would scold me and better to say sorry first when you're wrong with Maryse. I would never admit it to her, but she was kind of intimating, even to me which was saying something. But she was still a kind heart.

A smile shaped her lips. "Actually, I was going to say that everyone one slept in, including Clary – her mom had called – so I'm postponing her training until later. Just tell her when you want to train." She paused and added as an afterthought, "And I don't mind you apologizing once in a while." With another smile, she left just as Izzy came in.

She glared at me, her icy deep blue eyes shooting daggers at me. I bet she wished that they were actual daggers. I shuddered mentally. Then Iz ignored me all together after she was done shooting daggers at me. "Hey, looks like I'm not the only one that slept in," I teased. Izzy never woke up late; she took forever to get ready, it was even rarer for her to wake up late than it was for me. I had to break the silence and especially the tension between us two. She didn't say anything. "Well, I don't have to train until later at least," I said without thinking.

Izzy's head snapped up, her eyes boring into mine. "You. Won't. Train. With. Her," She growled at me, enunciating each word. I looked down at my hands and was silent for a moment.

"I actually wasn't going to," I admitted, though I didn't really want to. I needed to see Clary again. I just had to. But I couldn't. I knew what it would do to her – not the mention to me.

Izzy actually looked shocked. "Oh, really? Well, have you thought about who is going to replace you, oh so smart one."

Normally, if someone said that under different circumstances, I would have said something witty back at them and would been an 'asshat' as Clary would say it. "You, of course." I looked up at her, seeing some emotion on her face although I couldn't decipher before it was masked away.

"Good," she replied haughtily and stomped away, taking a ripe green apple with her. I squeezed my eyes shut, gripped the counter edge with one arm but it didn't work. I couldn't help but to think of the moment when I came to Clary's room, asking for a picnic with her and we had apples and sandwiches in the greenhouse. That's where we had our first kiss, when I kissed her unexpectedly; even I didn't even know what I was doing. I just…did it.

I shook my head, breaking out of the memory; I could afford to think of Clary right now. Finishing some toast, I made my way to my room. I really could use with a nice hot shower, it would help with the tension that I was feeling badly right now.

As I entered my room, I cursed. I forgot about Clary's sketch pad. She probably wants it and Izzy was still mad at me. I wasn't even going to train with her, so how what I suppose to give it to her? And I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see me unless she has to and I didn't really have the heart to just give it to her and leave. No. I would give it to Izzy somehow to she could give it to Clary.

With an idea forming in my mind, I grabbed a post it note and scribbled on: This is Clary's. Give it to her when you train. Don't tell her that it was in my room or that I found it. Thanks, Jace. P.S. It's not for me, it's for her, so please do it. I know you won't do it for me, but do it for her.

I stuck it on the sketch pad, praying that she would actually do it. Izzy wasn't known to doing things that she doesn't want to do, especially if she was mad at someone. In this case, that meant me. I couldn't even explain to her why – it would seem stupid but it was the truth. And she won't understand. She had never really loved anyone except maybe Simon but he's being an idiot now. Even then, I'm really not that sure that she actually like like him.

I snuck down to Izzy's room, staring at the door in front of me that separated us. The Angel knows how much I want to barge in and annoy the hell out of her and patch things up. Sighing, I placed it just outside her door and silently went back to my room, hoping that she would find it.

.o.O.o.

I stepped into the hot shower, feeling it burn as it touched my skin. I sighed; the slightly uncomfortable sensation wasn't enough to distract me from Clary. Her bright red bouncy curls, her sparking emerald green eyes. I missed her. So so much. It hurt so badly, it was like physical pain in my heart. I wished it was, I could always heal it was an iratze. But no. I couldn't deal with the pain, the pain of losing the only person I truly loved that wasn't a sisterly, brotherly or parent kind of love.

Stop it Jace, I reproached myself. Just think about something else. But that was impossible. Everything always somehow ended back at Clary.

Finally, I just thought about last night. I frowned as I thought about Samara. One, she was a problem. A big problem. Especially being what she was. Two, her name, it was familiar but at the same time, it wasn't. It wasn't someone I ever knew or heard of, but her name was just so proverbial. I just couldn't place my finger on what it was.

I just stayed there in the shower, my mind flickering back and forth from Clary and Samara. It wasn't that I liked Samara – to hell with it if I did – but there was something about her. Something I couldn't place.

Great, now I have two problems. Both girl problems. Women, I thought.

I wondered if I actually did kiss Aline on the cheek or if that was my dream…I really couldn't tell it that was or wasn't; it was too late into the night. Screw it, I thought. She doesn't even like me; she even said that I wasn't her type, which was a shocker to Clary. Apparently I'm everyone's type according to her.

Maybe, this whole Samara thing never happened. I glanced down at my chest, and sure enough, there was slivery slash on my chest and right underneath it was the also slivery faded outline of an iratze.

After I became as shriveled as a prune, I got out of the shower. Mainly for the fact that the water was getting cold and I was done showering a while ago anyways. I went back into my room, wiping the golden curls plastered to my face with a towel.

I wondered where Clary was right now. She's probably on her way to come here and train. Maybe she wouldn't even come because of me. Yet, something told me that she wouldn't. She was too strong to not come, even if she thought she was going to see me. I wasn't sure what she was even coming, she never ceased to surprise me. My little redhead, I thought fondly. Literally. I chuckled at that.

I picked out a black pair of shorts and a royal blue t-shirt that was so dark that it almost looked black. I was pretty much dressed the way I felt; hallow. I felt like a black hole.

Neatly folding the towels and putting them back into the bathroom to dry, I thought if I actually did the right thing. I know for a fact that I hurt Clary, it was plainly written in her face, but I wondered if it was pain worth it. Well, better now than later, I thought.

Can you really stand by as she dates another person? When she gets married with someone else? When she has children with someone else? Can you just stand by and watch this happen, a voice asked in the back of my head. YES! I roared back to the stupid voice, shutting it up. Panting, I went back to my room, and buried my face in my hands. I sat on the edge of the bed, taking deep breaths. I squeezed my eyes shut.

No doubt that I was never going to get over her, but would she ever? That was the point, but now I'm not so sure if I want that to happen. You knew that this was going to happen Wayland, I tartly thought.

Wait…was I a Wayland? A Morgenstern? Lightwood? Or a Herondale? I can rule Wayland out, I never really was a Wayland, I just was brought up thinking that. I wasn't a Morgenstern, I was brought up by a Morgenstern but I will never consider myself as part of his lineage. Never. Now, was I a Lightwood or a Herondale? I always have considered myself a Lightwood after they took me in, but I was born from a Herondale. I was the last in my line, shouldn't I continue it?

And it wasn't their fault to what happened with them – well for my father anyways. I still couldn't believe my mother killed herself. And Valentine cut me out. I shuddered mentally at that. So, what was I?

I took in a shaky breathe and let it out. I started counting to ten but I was stopped at seven when I suddenly felt Clary's presence. I wondered if I was just imagining it, or if I actually did sense her.

I climbed out of my bed and went down the elevator, and peeked out of the front window. I took in another unsteady breathe and watched her walk up to the Institution after making sure that no one was looking.

She looked nervous, I noted as I hid down a few steps of the emergency staircase. Of course she's nervous! She still thinks she's training with me! I saw Izzy coming down the elevator too, hiding in the shadows, leaning against the wall, her arms crossed and her face twisted in a scowl before she smoothing it out.

Ah, I thought. She saw my note…I wondered if she actually did was I asked. I peered out from the side of the wall, glad that shadows covered the stairs since no one ever used it. She probably couldn't see me from this angle anyways since the stairs didn't have a door to it; it was just carved out of the wall.

I bet Izzy didn't see me either due to that fact that her face stopped scowling but she did look tense, as if she was nervous of what Clary was going to say given that she wasn't training with me. Maybe she came to kick my ass. Or yell at me. Perhaps even curse me out, which was likely. She was never one to keep her thoughts to herself so I was mildly surprised when she handled it calmly and asked me if it was what I wanted. Clary never did what I excepted her to do. She did rant about it before saying was it from Valentine or something, as if she wouldn't really believe what I had said before, probably from shock. Of course, Clary did always surprise me, so I was slightly prepared if she wasn't going to do what I thought a normal girl would.

Clary entered through the doors nervously, looking behind her to close to the door. I didn't get to see her face yet from my position. Her eyes scanned the room and landed on the shadow of Izzy. My breath caught in my throat when I saw her face. Her beautiful red curls framed her face, not yet in her usual ponytail, her emerald eyes hard as stone, her mouth set slightly, as if she expected a jackass me. She was well prepared if she thought she was seeing me; no doubt was I going to act like an asshat. I sighed; I keep saying 'asshat', Clary definitely rubbed off on me.

She never did realize that she was the most ravishing thing that ever set foot on this Earth. She was still gorgeous in a green tank top that matched her eyes and black shorts. The green set off her eyes and even though she wasn't dressed up like Izzy, which no one did everyday like her; I personally think she enjoys doing it and not for the sake of looking good – she was dressed casually – she looked stunning. I can't believe that she didn't think that she was beautiful at all.

I realized that Clary was tense because she thought that the shadow was me. Curse Izzy for standing in the shadow, why did she do that? "Hey Clary," Izzy greeted her. Thank you Izzy, I thought. It was good that she knew it was Izzy before she panicked and Clary obviously looked relived to see Izzy rather than me. That made me wince and I took a deep breath thinking that it was what I had wanted.

"Hi," she replied, looking at Izzy a bit strangely. I glanced at Izzy and I could tell that something was slightly off about her too. Izzy…I mentally warned her.

Seeming to get my message, she chirped, "C'mon, let's go!" There was something so small off about her, that I wasn't sure if I was imagining it now or not and Clary seemed to think that Izzy was like herself too.

Izzy turned around and started walking, not even checking to see if Clary was following her. I furrowed my brows. Did she always expect Clary to follow her or was she acting strange again? Clary looked like she debating whether or not to follow her and seemed to a similar battle inside her too.

She took a few steps before stopping again. "Iz?" she called out. Izzy was already ahead of Clary by a good several feet.

"Yeah?" Iz called out behind her shoulder, still not stopping. Iz, I advised her again mentally.

"Iz, I need to train! You know that," she said firmly. Izzy took a few steps before stopping.

Izzy tensed, her back and shoulders set. "I know you are, that's where I'm taking you," Izzy croaked out, still not facing Clary. She sounded feeble even to me, I was sure that Clary would hear it too.

"Where is he?" she prompted. I was pretty sure she avoiding saying my name. That sent a pang through my heart. I hurt her so much that she couldn't even say my name.

I wasn't even there! Well to her knowledge anyway. I then thought that she actually did wonder about me, as if she wanted to see me but I knew that wasn't true. If she did, then she actually did want to kick my ass. Izzy seemed to mutter something about me and something along the line of 'I knew that this was going to happen'.

Izzy finally replied flatly. "He isn't training you anymore." Hey, I didn't say I wasn't training her anymore, it was just for today! Well, she didn't say for the rest of her training but it sure sounded like that. No way was I letting Izzy train her from now on. This was now the only way I was going to be able to see Clary and I wasn't going to lose it, no matter how pathetic it seemed and no matter how much I wasn't suppose to.

"What?" she asked, clearly astonished. Her face said otherwise; she looked as if some weight was taken off her shoulders. But her voice implied that she was slightly upset about it. So, happy and sad that she wasn't going to train with me? Or is one fake?

Izzy sighed, probably excepting this from her. If I knew Izzy was going to say that then I was pretty sure she was going to ask 'what' too. She always has questions. "Look, I'm no relationship expert," Yeah, Izzy got that right, I thought. "But I'm pretty sure you would want some space. I'm only doing this as a friend; if this happened to me then I would want someone to do that same."

Clary's face twitched slightly, as if she wanted to smile that Iz was being such a good friend. But I wasn't sure if I saw that and after I blinked, all traces of her almost smile was gone.

Clary, seeming as if she didn't want to ask, weakly did ask. "Jace told you?" My eyebrows shot up from hearing my name from her mouth. She seemed weaken and hurt after saying my name, as if the pain was still raw. Like someone had hurt her and when it started to heal, cut up the same wound again, making sure it never healed properly. I winced at that; I know that no one is the same after a serious relationship, but I was hoping it wasn't going to be too hard on her. Looks like I was hoping in vain.

There was a pause, as if Clary was saying something with her eyes, I couldn't tell since her back was to me. She was probably thanking her or something since she never did say thank you before.

"No." Her response was curt. Her tone implied that she didn't really want to talk about it. I knew that Izzy didn't want me to train her today and I was pretty sure that she knew she was going to end up doing it anyways but she still forced it out of me, making me say it. So it was half her half me. "And I wasn't sure if you were going to show up anyways," Izzy added on as an afterthought. I also realized that she cleverly changed the subject slightly. And I wasn't the only one with doubts but I knew she would come, which is why I asked Izzy to do it. She was a strong girl; she wasn't going to let an asshat like me ruin her training.

"Really?" Clary asked, but her face said that she didn't really care about it much. She looked like she was about to fall over, from shock or happiness, I didn't know.

Izzy just nodded and continued walking to the training room. I followed after I was sure that they were far enough.

I hid in rooms or behind things as much as possible. I listened for any noises that might indicate that they were turning around for some odd reason but there was nothing. "Izzy?" I heard Clary ask after a bit of silence.

"Yeah?"

"Was this your idea?"

"My idea for what?" Izzy asked she knew as well as I did as of what Clary was talking about. She seemed like she was buying time to answer her properly or gather her composure if she lied because technically, I did as her even if that was her plan to get me to ask her.

"To train me instead."

"Oh." Izzy paused again. Clary seemed to quicken her pace during the brief silence. "Well it's only for today." From her tone, it was obvious that Izzy didn't like that the fact that it was only today. Ah ha! I knew that she wanted her train her from now on!

I ducked into the room opposite of the training room, looking through only a crack. Clary speed up and passed Izzy, blocking her way to the door. "Isabelle," Clary demanded, not using her nickname. I was surprised; for some reason, Clary really seemed to care about the topic though I couldn't really see why. Maybe to see if I still cared?

My heart dropped to my feet. She can't – no she couldn't – know that. "Was this your idea?"

I heard Izzy nearly yell. "Of course! Why do you care so much anyways?" She waved her hands dramatically in the air from what I could see. Maybe by making her feel bad for asking, Izzy thought that Clary wouldn't question her anymore. She was right if that's what she was hoping for.

Izzy's shuffled her feet, her back and shoulders set to look slightly regretful and I wondered what look was on Clary's face to make Izzy feel that way. Izzy was heartless – okay, that wasn't true but she never showed that she regretted something – and whatever was on Clary's face had to be something.

Maybe she did ask if she thought that there might be a chance that I still cared about her. I looked up at Clary too late; she always masked away whatever she was feeling and burned the key to it. I didn't really want to look at her face – the Angel knows what I would try to do but I made sure I was rooted to my spot.

"I don't know. I thought that Si might have spoken to you or something," she replied. Something was off on her face though, and I could tell that she was lying. Simon didn't know what happened. No wonder that vampire didn't come to beat my ass up yet. Hmm, she didn't want to tell him? Well, she was going to tell him sooner or later and maybe Simon was too busy to for her to tell her. No, that wasn't the case, Simon would do just about anything for her and despite me always having witty remarks about him and 'hating' him, I actually admired the fact that he actually cared about Clary and was worthy to be her friend. I wasn't even worthy enough to be that. Not that she would let me be that.

Izzy seemed relieved and nodded. Taking it as my cue, she twisted the knob and let them both in.

.o.O.o.

After they went through the door, I decided not to stay since I wasn't really going to miss anything and I already felt like a creeper as it is. I wasn't even sure what made me follow them, but I guess I wanted to see what Clary's reaction to not have me train her would be.

I had gone up to the greenhouse, just to think. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I closed my eyes and sighed, not really wanting to be here. I brought back memories of me and Clary, memories that I wanted to – no needed – to forget. But there was nowhere else that I could go that I could actually go without being disturbed. I could have stayed in my room, but I didn't go there for two reasons. One, there were pictures of us there and it was just as bad if not worse as being in the greenhouse as it was there. I didn't have the heart to move them all down now, but I knew that I had to do it eventually if I wanted to keep my act up; Izzy or Alec will get suspicious.

Two, it was just in case Alec decided to pay me a visit. I wasn't in the mood to see anyone and Alec, or Izzy for that matter, couldn't come up here because of allergies. I thought all through lunch, not feeling hungry enough to go down and get food. I also didn't want to risk seeing Clary or Izzy there when they were eating. I had no idea if they would have lunch at noon or slightly later since they were training so I didn't want to risk going down there at all and running into them.

I didn't want Clary to go through unnecessary pain by seeing me if she didn't have to. Finally, when I was sure that they weren't going to be down there as it was late to eat lunch now, I went and made myself spaghetti, not knowing what else to eat. It painfully reminded me when I told her that when I was five I took a bath in it. I shoved that memory away and locked the key to it.

After I was done eating, I rinsed off the dishes and put them away. I headed through the doors to hear Clary and Izzy talking, coming down the hallway.

I quickly hid the bathroom near the kitchen, not ready to let Clary see me just yet. I heard some chatter and they walked through the doors and heard Izzy giving Clary fruit snacks, probably not in the mood to make Clary refuse her cooking. Or make Clary refuse them if she was in a bad mood. She looked pretty bruised up if you ask me, but not hurt too badly.

I could have left after they went inside, but for some reason, I stayed in the bathroom, once again eavesdropping and feeling like a creeper. Who knows, maybe I was.

"Hey Izzy?" I heard Clary ask after a while of silence.

There was a pause as Izzy probably ate a fruit snack. "Yeah."

"I left my sketchpad here somewhere and I was hoping that you found–"

Izzy cut her off. "Yeah, I did find it actually. It's in my room, I'll give it to you before you leave," Izzy explained. Clary didn't say anything so I pictured her bobbing her head, her red curls probably bouncing around on her head.

After a long silence Clary broke it. "Where did you find it?" she asked.

"It was…" Izzy trailed off, probably debating on whether to tell her that I had it or not. I hoped that she wouldn't, I had asked her to not tell Clary if she asked which I knew she would. "It was in the library, I think." Izzy lied. Phew.

"Really?" asked Clary suspiciously. I could tell right then and there and she knew that she had left it in my room.

"Actually," amended Izzy quickly, "I think Maryse found it and I think she said something about the library or she was telling me something about that…I don't know, but the point is that I have it." I mentally thanked Izzy for lying, I owed her one for that. Especially since she was still mad at me.

I knew that Clary knew that Izzy was lying to her but she didn't say anything. I would bet everything that she was pursing her lips, something she does when she wants to say something and doesn't or when she's deep in thought.

Deciding not to play creeper anymore, I exited the bathroom. When I went to my room carefully, making sure that I didn't run into Clary or Izzy by chance, I flopped onto the bed, burying my head in the feather pillow and hands underneath the pillow. I stretched out on the bed with my feet nearly hanging off the bed and sighed.

Okay, so this was basically everything in Jace's POV so you get a little insight on how he's doing as well as how Clary was in the last chapter. So, thanks to those who said 'cheesecake' =) So, I am making these notes a heck of a lot shorter now so more people actually will read them.

So, new goal, 55 please? And I don't think you'll have any questions but if you do, just ask =) New secret word (little teaser again as a gift as some of you found out *cough cough*): Waffles! Why, I don't know..maybe 'cuz I had it for breakfast but you guys shouldn't know that...at least I hope so. =p

And if you guys want to suggest a word for me to use (maybe I'll pick one person and try to include the word in the next chapter) say it in your review! Or PM me, w.e. you like.

P.S. Check out the stories I beta for: Bookninja's Raziel Academy, Coolxnerd's You Should Have Stayed and MollyGM's City of Bones Jace POV! They are all awesome =) (I should know, lol and so much for making this shorter...next time promise! This was important stuff (to me))

***Reminder: This is set AFTER City of Glass and BEFORE City of Fallen Angels. And don't forget to review (please?)!