Shelter from The Storm
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This is the much requested follow up to Easter Bunny, in which Zoë and Julie tuck a feral Maine Coon Cat into Ranger and Stephanie's bed, in their suite at The Four Seasons NYC.
a/n I changed the chef's name, just to be polite. No offense intended, of course.
Chapter Thirty-eight
Easter Bunny, Part Two ~The Tail of He-Man HotDoodles
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Roff-roff-roff! Roff-roff-roff!
HeMan Hotdoodles opened his eyes just a slit and stared secretly. The annoying sound was coming from what appeared to be an alien creature, part pug dog with mutations of odd wooly pastel things on his head. The noise was very annoying.
HeMan heaved a disgusted sigh, snuggled back into the luxurious Four Seasons comforter and tried to return to kitty dreamland. He'd had a delightful day—the bed was soft and warm, and ever so cozy, the room itself empty and peaceful. The only interruption was the earlier arrival of a grey-uniformed maid who carefully worked around him, fluffing pillows and murmuring, Hola, Senor Gatito Grande! Nice keeety, nice, nice keeety. I hope you do not bite me? Nice gato, nice. Nice. She carefully placed tiny gold wrapped presents on the pillows of HeMan's new bed and left as discreetly as she had appeared.
HeMan stretched sensuously, then roused himself to investigate the gold tiny things.
sniff-sniff.
Oooh. Food. He scarfed the chocolates up and now that the door was left open, he did some exploring in the large silent space. He found more rooms, with more beds...and ate each chocolate with pleasure.
After while his tummy rumbled a little. He looked around, then made his way to the large potted palm near the window.
Oh, ah. Much better...
And HeMan went back to the lovely smelling bed to nap in comfort.
But now this: Roff-roff-roff! Roff-roff-roff!
Then worse. HeMan sensed movements of air, scented an intruder. A large human quietly appeared, scooped up the little alien and said, "What's your problem, Killer?"
Killer, thought HeMan. Don't make me laugh!
The little dog made the annoying sounds some more, and the man saw HeMan curled under the soft white and snuggly towel. "What the fu...?" the man whispered. Then he yelled, "Zoë! Julie!'
"Oh! daddy daddy daddy daddy! You have found the Easter Bunny! Lookit! Is he not adorable! He is called Bunny! We love him! Julie loves him, Killer loves him! Hi, Bunny!" cried the small human called Zoë. HeMan remembered her from the park.
The larger small human was here too. She added, "We found him at the Park. Monster let us bring him home."
"Monster," said the man. He didn't yell anymore but his voice was scary.
The ugly old human who bought HeMan hotdogs now appeared along with a very pretty human lady. The ugly man Monster said, "What? It is not for me to say no to your children, Ranger. That is your job, not mine."
"Crap."
''Daddy, you said crap!'' said the smaller child.
''Baby, he—it's filthy.''
''But we'll give him a bath! We'll walk him! We love him. He has no mommy! He was eating rats! Pleeeeze, daddy, pleeeeze." The girls, in unison.
The lady was laughing and carefully reached out to scratch HeMan's ears. He purred for her.
The large handsome daddy person said very calmly, "Call the concierge, babe, we're checking out. Now."
''What? Why?" The laughter stopped.
''I don't know about you but there is no fuc...no way I am sleeping in that bed with this creature's lice and fleas."
''Eeeew. Okay."
"And if the hotel sues us, it is coming out of your pay, my man," he told the old hotdog man.
''But, boss...''
''Here, take the dog into the other room. His barking is giving me a headache." The ugly man left with the ugly alien dog.
The daddy man went on, "Okay, we'll call the concierge, get a cage for this thing. Jorge and Arkady can drive it back to Trenton in the Explorer.''
''So, we can keep him! Oh, thank you, daddy, thank you.''
Hugs and smooches. HeMan sat up warily. Trenton. New Jersey?
The little person Zoë patted him, told him, ''Oh Bunny! So wonderful! You are coming home with us!"
"No, he is going right to the vet. He has to be de-liced, de-fleaed, dewormed. Bathed. Whatever. If the vet gives him a clean bill of health he can be fixed right away. Before he comes home."
''Fixed?'' asked the small girl.
''Yeah, fixed."
''But daddy, what is fixed, he looks okay to me...?''
''Chica, he has to get..." HeMan scowled while the large man suddenly floundered. "Neutered."
The bigger of the children told the little one, ''Bunny has to get his balls cut off! Like Killer! So he won't be a man cat anymore!"
HeMan and the large handsome man winced, but the man said, ''Yes. If we do not do that he will run away and look for lady cats."
HeMan preened.
''Oh. Okay. But Bunny is coming home with us?''
'''We'll see. Now get busy, the bellman will be here soon for our luggage.''
Everyone except the large handsome daddy man disappeared.
The man stood for a moment, hands on hips. Finally he said, "It doesn't have to be this way, Mr. Hotdoodles."
HeMan sat up and growled. He lashed his tail. He stared, unblinking, his golden eyes furious. The man knew his name! He could somehow hear and understand HeMan's thoughts.
How scary!
The cat arched its back, swung a sharp clawed paw towards the human who stepped back and said, ''Yeah I thought so..."
He jerked his head towards the door. "When the concierge and bellman come in, that's your window of opportunity, man. Up to you." He turned to go, but came back and added, ''Live free or die hard, hermano."
...
Ten minutes later, in the confusion created by the family rushing to check out of the Four Seasons, HeMan made his escape.
Freedom. Yeah, freedom.
He followed his nose towards the wonderful aromas of food, found the prep kitchen of the world famous Atelier de Jean Robichaud. He slipped into the kitchen, paused to sniff-sniff-sniff. Was that fish? Or...?
''Shoo! Scat! Le chat enorme! Sortez d'ici! Venez OUT, gros chat! Out!" Huge sweaty man in white attire waved a butcher knife at poor HeMan, who ran. A small man dressed the same way opened a door and scooted HeMan out with his kitchen clogged foot.
Adding insult to injury, he yelled, "Bad cat! Go away! Shoo." The door banged shut. HeMan was back in an alley, on familiar ground. He felt himself truly relax for the first time since the Zoë child found him and screamed Bunny! He sniffed some more, then padded to an overflowing dumpster.
Sniff, sniff? Someone did not care for Chef Robichaud's raw sea urchin morsels en langouste gelée...? Yum! Oooh. And the red snapper stuffed with rare duck breasts, mmm!
A mighty leap, and HeMan was up on the dumpster's edge, He paused for a second, looked up at the waning spring moon overhead and began to sing:
Born Free! As free as the wind blows, as free as...
Life was good.
the end of the story, series tbc
link to see Killer yapping at something on the bed and to see Killer's Easter bonnet: pls visit my website/blog. Link in my profile here.