NON REVERSABLE EFFECTS
CH18
THREE MONTHS LATER
"OW!" I exclaimed, trying to jerk my foot back.
Daniel rolled his eyes at me, keeping a hold his grip on my foot. "Oh, stop whining."
I was speechless at the off hand comment to my pain.
"Don't give me that look." Daniel scolded. "If you weren't lazy and used it more, then it wouldn't hurt and get cramps or lock when you finally did use it."
"I'm not lazy!" I defended, sitting up straighter in Daniel's desk chair. He looked up at me, his expression open as he waited. "I, uh . . . I'm embarrassed." I said finally.
"You have nothing to be embarrassed about." Daniel tried to assure me, but I shook my head, my expression shamed.
"Have you seen me lately?" I asked rhetorically. "Mitchell went through the same thing that I did, and look how that turned out! How can I even be called a soldier—a Lieutenant? If I can barely even survive my first real confrontation off-world? I'm not even Human for God sakes. Not to mention the fact that I can't even walk properly now, and won't even be able to go through the stargate anymore." my vision blurred as tears filled my eyes.
Daniel let go of my foot, and took a hold of either side of my face, forcing me to look him in the eye. Once he knew I was paying attention, he spoke. "I should smack you right now for even thinking that." he told me. "You're better than that. You have hit a bump in the road, but you are going to run through it. I know it hurts and I know that what happened sucks and that you didn't deserve it. But it did happen, Nick. It happened and the damage is done—and the only thing that you can do now is live with it and over come it."
I stared at him, my hands going up and tugging the ear flaps from my hat tight over my ears. "I guess." I said slowly and reluctantly.
"I'm sure of it." Daniel said, prying my fingers from the hat setting them in my lap before he took it from my head. "Why do you try and hide it?" he asked, rubbing my cat ears—and to tell the truth, it felt so frickin' good; just like when I was a tiger and Jack petted me.
"I guess for other peoples benefit." I told him quietly, leaning into his touch. "It's been three years, and people still weren't really used to the fact that I could turn into a tiger. Before, they could just sorta ignore the fact because when I wasn't a tiger I was normal. Now I'm stuck in between, not really Human but not a tiger either."
Daniel sighed. "Some people are stupid." he told me and I could help but smirk. "They go through a wormhole for a living to different Planets and fight aliens—parasites that can take over your body—but one guy who could turn into a kitty cat and they're all freaked out."
I snorted now. "Yeah, what a bunch of idiots."
He smiled in return. "I know that having a limp sucks and that you can run as fast as you could before. But that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed, or think that anyone is better than you, because they're not. You just have something that they don't." he told me. "No one could have pulled through like you have, and we would have died on that Planet if it weren't for you."
I puffed my cheeks out in answer—still think that things could have gone better. But he was right about the fact that it had happened and there was nothing that I could do about it now.
"Now," he continued. "You need to walk around more, or this will keep happening. I may not be Janet, but I'm smart enough and you're smart enough to know that." he took my right foot in his hands again—the one that had been badly twisted and had needed surgery to repair the torn tendons, the tears that had cause me to have a permanent slight limp. He slowly rolled my ankle; I wanted to jerk it away, but resisted on the pure fact that it would probably hurt allot more than what he was doing.
Slowly my ankle stared to unlock and as he kneaded my foot, the cramp went away. And when the cramp went away, I couldn't really tell Daniel to stop—he was that good at this. I'll tell ya, if Daniel didn't make it with the Stargate program, he could have had a whole other career waiting for him. A purr erupted from my chest and caused me to star for a second before continuing—how could I be surprised about anything any more? My eyes fluttered and my toes spread.
"One would wonder about the noise coming outta here."
Daniel and I both looked at Daniel's office's door way to find Jack leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest, and a smirk playing across his lips.
"You're just jealous because no one wants to touch your feet." Daniel returned with mock heat.
Jack opened his before snapping it back shut. "No comment." he said in a haunty manner.
Daniel smiled openly at him, not hiding the fact that Jack actually had no comment to that. I smirked, looking down at the floor to hide; it was rare that Jack actually had nothing to say. He glowered back at us, standing up from the door frame and sat on the couch in the corner of Daniel's office, his glower turning into pout as Daniel turned back to me. I held out my bare foot to him, wiggling my toes at him in invitation. Daniel looked at my foot for a second before he turned his head up to me a "really?" expression on his face. He lightly swatted my foot and stood, wiping his hands off on his pants as he went over and sat beside Jack.
I crossed my ankle over my knee, curling my toes and causing them to crack. Daniel's hands had been cool against my hot skin—apparently ever since my mid-Change, I now run a higher temperature. I rubbed my foot, lightly tracing the scar that now resided on my inner ankle. It was still sensitive and thick and bright pink, causing it to stand out. Quickly I slipped my sock back on, not liking the reminder that it gave me. The reminder of what had happened—along with all of the other scars—of the deaths that I had caused, the people that I had killed.
I mentally shook my head as I bent and slipped my boots back on, tying the laces tightly. I sat back up, my finger laced behind my head. Neither Daniel or I had questioned Jack sudden appearance, and nothing was said because nothing needed to be said. It was a compatible silence that of which was comfortable for the three of us. But Daniel and I both knew that sometimes, Jack just needed to get away from his busy schedule as the SGC's General.