Disclaimer: I got no word from my demons yet. Stay tuned to see what happens! *rubs hands together evilly and grins*
So, I am happy! Why? Met our goal! Whoot whoot! And thanks to the person who pointed out the mistakes in the last chapter, you know who you are. Muchos gracias. So, thanks to all those who added my story to story alert and/or favorite story! Especially to those who reviewed! Makes my day! So this chapter is my average length =) And the title didn't fit =/
Chapter 11: Cry me a River, Build a Bridge, and Get Over It
Clary's Point of View
I stormed down the corridors, walking briskly to the kitchen. I was so angry that tears were pooling at the back of my eyes, stinging lightly like butterfly kisses. I blinked rapidly to make sure none spilled over and burst open the door to the kitchen.
As soon as I opened the doors, I wished I hadn't. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I was mad. Mad at Jace. Mad at myself. Mad at everyone. I wasn't about to let anyone see me like this. Especially not this person. They were probably the second to last person I would want to see right now. But, my luck could have been worse.
"Hi Alec," I greeted as cheerfully as I could manage.
"Uh," Alec responded. "Hello." Looks like he wasn't expecting me either.
Alec and I had been on a rocky road when he thought he was in love with Jace. After he realized that he didn't, we got along pretty well. We were pretty good friends now. I doubted that he would take my side though. From his 'uh' I knew that knew that Jace and I broke up, talk about awkward. And I knew that he knew that I knew, if that made any sense.
Now I know how Jace and Izzy feel. Luckily, Alec isn't like Izzy, he's more quite. He's talked more that everyone knows that he's gay and has a boyfriend, but some habits are hard to break. If Alec was as talkative as Izzy and took action against that person, I would probably be screwed right now.
"Coffee?" Alec asked after a moment of silence.
"Black?" I inquired. He nodded. "Thanks Alec. I needed this."
He just nodded his head before we both sipped our coffee. "You know," he informed me, putting the cup back on the table, "that I'm not on either of your sides."
I looked up at him in shock. Unsurprisingly, the mug slipped from my hand, spilling coffee over the table but not breaking. It was just like my luck today, bad and sort of good. Mostly bad though. I knew something bad was going to happen; I was just waiting for it. Alec must have known that I would need a strong cup. Figures.
"Shoot," I muttered under my breath, getting up. I grabbed some napkins and dabbed at the coffee that was moving across the table like a black swirling river.
Alec just watched me silently and patiently, his light blue eyes soft and not judging. After I was done and threw out the napkins, I sat back down, slightly embarrassed about spilling the coffee. I took a swing of it, gathering my courage. Coffee can help me do anything. I would marry coffee if I could.
"What do you mean?" I asked after I was done with the coffee. I had delayed the question as much as possible, but it was inevitable; I had to ask. However, I didn't really want to talk about us right now. Not after what had happened.
He pursed his lips while fiddling with his mug's handle, thinking deeply. "I don't know what happened between Jace and you," he started, each word thoughtfully and carefully. My eyebrows shot up at that. I thought that Jace might have told him. Or even Izzy, she loves to gossip. "But I can tell something is up."
I just nodded weakly. I had walked out of the training room to get away from Jace but here I was, talking about Jace, about us. I didn't want to talk about him. I just wanted to go home and sulk. Maybe even draw. That would help me feel better; coffee was just not going to do it this time.
"I know he broke up with you," he said gently. I looked away, looking out the window as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. I knew he knew, but having him say it out loud just made it all the more real.
There was a stretch of silence, neither of us talking, waiting for the other to leave but neither of us did.
"Clary, can I tell you something?" Alec asked suddenly.
"Shoot."
Alec hesitated slightly before telling me, probably trying to gather his thoughts. "He loves you. I know he broke up with you for some stupid reason, but that's Jace for you. You and I both know that." I wasn't sure which part he was talking about, but I knew that neither was true. He broke up with me due to the fact that I was probably 'tying him down' or something.
I always knew that it was weird that Jace loved me; I mean, he could have anyone but he chose me. I mean he had chosen me. Not anymore. I never knew what made the world give me him and I knew that I had never deserved him. But that didn't help the pain any more. He had slipped through my fingers like water.
"And I know you won't believe me, but trust me on this. He's been as sad if not sadder than you have been. You should know that he's hurting too," he continued in the same soft, calming voice.
I roughly got up from the table, the chair screeching in protest against the titles. I could see Alec sighing from the corner of my eye as I dropped the mug into the sink.
I walked to the door, pausing as I was halfway through it. I turned back. "I wouldn't be too sure about that." And with that, I walked out of the kitchen, not sparing a glance behind or waiting for a response. I guess he was just trying to help me but I didn't believe any word of it. If he broke up with me why would he be sad? That was just a load of crap.
Jace's Point of View
I stood where I was for the past ten minutes; staring at the spot Clary had been before she walked out the door. The minute she left, my mouth hung open, my jaw reaching the floor. I didn't expectt it to be like…this. She was so angry. So so angry. It was probably one of the worst things that ever happened to her.
I closed my eyes, sighing. I took deep breaths, attempting to clear my mind. I knew Clary was going to be mad at me, that was expected. But I had thought that some part of her might rationalize that I did want her. I guess that part was very small. Or most likely, from the look on her face, nonexistent.
After all the times I said I loved her, after all the times that I said that she could do better, she actually believed me when I broke up with her. To be honest, I had thought she would know that it was all a lie. And where would that bring me if that happened?
I buried my face in my hands, not being able to stand looking at the spot where Clary had stood a few minutes before. Where she had angrily stormed out on me. I guess I deserved that, I mean I was provoking her. And I guess torturing myself worked, because now I just felt ten times worse than before.
A part of me, wanted to tell Clary that I was being a jerkface and beg for her to take me back. But I had done this for a reason, and I was going to stick to it. I only hoped that she knew that I still love her. And I always will. The bigger part of me won; I was going to hold this out for as long as I could. I wonder how long that will last, I sarcastically thought. Look at what I've done in one day. Not even a day, more like an hour.
Finally, unable to take it, I headed back to my room. I banged the door close with more force than necessary, not caring at the moment as to who heard it.
I flopped onto my bed, burying my face into the pillow. I wrapped my arms around each side of the pillow, my legs slightly apart. I knew I was being pathetic but I didn't care. All I could think of was Clary.
Two times in two days, I reflected. Let's hope this doesn't become a habit.
Clary's Point of View
After the coffee, I headed down the hallway to Izzy's room. I heard a door bang and I furrowed my brows. Who was mad? I pondered, not really thinking or caring about the answer. I was basically detached from everything right now.
I didn't stick to find out, I was just going to do what I was supposedto do and leave. I didn't want to risk seeing Jace, or else there will be a fat chance at that I was going to tear him into tiny pieces of Jace confetti . And that wouldn't be pretty.
I knocked on Izzy's door, rapping my knuckles against the wood door three times. I waited for a couple seconds impatiently, tapping my foot against the floor, arms crossed.
Izzy cracked her door open, letting one deep blue eye peer out, widening slightly before opening the door widely after seeing me. She gestured for me to come in with a graceful wave of her hand.
I stared at her walls; they were rather artistically done is what I thought. I always wished I could do that to my room. The gold swirls contrasting with the black walls perfectly. I guess that her artist talent was in clothes and her room whereas mine wasn't. I sat down on her bed – that was as always – cluttered with clothing. What she did when she wanted to go to sleep? I wondered, chucking silently to myself after debating the answers. For all I knew, she could sleep on top of them or push them on the floor.
Her whole room was messy – if my room was like this, I would be grounded for life. Not that I have to go anywhere anyways. And Simon is always welcomed, so no problem there.
"So," Izzy said, plopping onto the bed next to me, lying down on the bed, her hands holding her head up, feet crossing and uncrossing. "What happen?" She looked like she was ready to hear some intense gossip. I doubt it was to Izzy, knowing her.
"What makes you think something happened?" I asked, not entirely surprised that she guessed that something had happened.
"Oh, come on," Izzy replied, rolling her eyes. "Of course something did! Spill."
I looked at her sheepishly before answering. "Well, we trained, right."
"Right," Izzy nodded her head vigorously. Her concentration on me and the topic frightened me a bit.
"So, well, um, he kept annoying me and purposely pissing me off." Iz nodded again. "And," I added. "We were starting hand to hand combat today so–"
"Oh my Angel!" Izzy exclaimed. I gave her a look and she pretended to zip her lips and throw the key away. She then waited patiently for me to continue as she switched her position to folding her legs back and sitting on them while resting her hands on her bare thighs.
Izzy was wearing a super clingy yellow tank top with blue jean short shorts. I got to admit, as always, she looked good in it, not that she doesn't look good in everything. She was one of those people who could probably pull of rags if they wanted to. "As I was saying, so we were doing hand to hand combat and he was telling me how to protect myself if a demon gets their arms around me." Izzy's eyes widen, but true to her zipped lips, she stayed silent.
"So, he told me to think of a way to get away by myself. So I asked if I could demonstrate." Izzy's smile grew so wide, I thought it was going to spilt her face in half. Her smile revealed her pearly, shining white teeth.
She unzipped her lips and pumped her fist in the air. "You go girl!" she cheered.
"Izzy!" I rebuked her. She gave me a sorry look and zipped her lips again. "Right, so I did and I stepped on his foot and punched his face."
Izzy nodded her head, smirking. "Was it his left foot? And you punched him in the face?"
I grinned at her widely. "You bet." She smiled back and chuckled a bit, seeing that the best Shadowhunter of our age got hurt by his ex-girlfriend
"So, he told me what do to his way and I 'demonstrated' on him again," I continued, putting air quotations on demonstrated. "I jabbed him in the ribs and pushed him backwards."
"Then he asked if I was okay and then everything blew up and I was yelling at him. That jackass pissed me off badly."
"The end?" Izzy asked.
"The end," I confirmed, not wanting to explain in detail.
"So, I would think that you came here because you obviously aren't going to train anymore, so you want me to tell Maryse that you weren't feeling well? Or Jace wasn't?"
"Yeah, thanks Izzy," I smiled at her, gratefully that she was covering for me.
"Only," she added, "If you come here and let me make you look sexy as hell. We aren't letting a dress like that go to waste."
"Fine, fine," I replied, knowing I had to do it either way. "Bye! And thanks."
.o.O.o.
After I came home, my parents bombed me as to why I was here early. I made up some lie and headed up in my room, drawing to calm myself down. The encounter with Jace kept replaying in my head and made me angry all over again.
I tried drawing but my heart just wasn't into it. My phone buzzed. Hey, what's up? Simon texted me. Oh sweet distraction!
Nm. Wbu? I texted back. I didn't have to wait long for a reply.
Nothing. I'm surprised you texted me back. I could feel the line between my eyebrows forming.
What do you mean by that? I asked him.
Nothing, just that right now you are training with blondie and you never would text me back if you're with him. I pursed my lips, unsure how to answer. It was true; when Jace and I were together, I was only aware of him.
I'm not with him right now. I finally texted back, unsure how to answer, just telling him the truth.
Why not? What happened? Simon asked. Even though he was just texting, I could tell that he was worried.
Hard to explain. Come over? I invited. I decided to tell him that Jace and I broke up. He's going to be wondering why I'm going clubbing without Jace and dancing with other people as Izzy hoped.
Sure, be over in five. Simon texted. I sighed and didn't answer.
I trudged down the stairs and flopped onto the living room couch, switching on the old TV to a random channel. I watched with detached interest when the doorbell rang.
I scrambled up, excitement blubbing up in me. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him. I should have told my best friend this a while ago; he would have known exactly what to do to cheer me up.
I burst open the door to see Simon standing in the doorway, his hair windswept. Looks like he ran for a bit.
"Simon!" I cried and threw my arms around him. I was so excited to see him, that I hugged him tightly.
"Can't. Breathe," Simon gasped out.
I pulled away slightly, and punched him in the arm. "You don't have to breathe. Don't use that on me!" Simon just smiled that grin of his and I felt better, my problems melting away. Well, for a little while at least.
"So, why did you seem so eager to have me over?" Simon asked, pure curiosity. "And why aren't you with blondie, training?"
"Let's go upstairs and talk," I responded tensely, pleading him with my eyes.
"Okay," he responded, giving me a look that read, this better be good.
"Oh it is," I retorted. "Plus, if we are going upstairs, you know why." I gave him a deep, meaningful look. He nodded his head ever so slightly to get that he understood. My parents can't know, was the message.
We walked up the stairs silently and entered my room in the same manner. Simon closed the door behind him while I sat down on my bed. Simon turned around to face me.
"So, what happened?" Simon asked. Funny how that was the same exact thing that Izzy had said to me. He probably noticed me staring at him because he gave me a look.
"Okay, so…long story. Why don't you sit down?" I offered, purposely stalling a bit. He sat down next to me, looking at me pointedly.
"Okay, okay, no more stalling. I'll tell you. Might as well get this over with," I muttered. Simon gave me an encouraging smile.
"I'll tell you," I started and he groaned. "If you promise not to do anything unless I approve of it. Okay?" Simon grumbled something close to an 'okay'.
"Good. So, um, uh, Jace, and I, um…" I stammered, unable to get it out. Simon looked at me wide-eyed.
"I do not need to know about your sex life Clary!" Simon shrieked like a girl. My own eyes widened and I gasped.
"What, Simon, no! That's not what I wanted to talk to you about!" I loudly said after I was done gaping at what he said.
"So you did do it? Ew, Clary!" Simon screeched.
"No, Simon, you idiot! I didn't for the Angel's sake!" I shouted at him. Yesh, people these days, I muttered. "Stop thinking about that!"
"Then?" he prompted.
"Well, there's no easy way to say this. So I'm going to put this bluntly." Simon nodded, looking impatient now.
I took a deep breath and rushed through the words. "Jace broke up with me." Simons face rearranged itself so many times that I lost count. There was shock, anger, calm, some more that I didn't catch a hold of and finally confusion.
"Why?" asked Simon incredulously.
"I don't know," I said nonchalantly, shrugging and looking away.
"Clary." I still didn't look at him. "Clary," he commanded. "Look at me." I stubbornly kept my face away from him.
He put his cool, smooth finger under my chin and made me face him. "Look, I'm sure whatever the hell made him do that, it wasn't your fault." I dropped my gaze. "If only you didn't make me promise not to do anything that you don't approve it. I would have kicked his ass." I smiled at that; before Simon didn't stand a chance, but now as a new vampire, there was a fair chance he could.
"But seriously Clary, are you okay? I should have noticed; this is my fault too. I'm so stupid!" he asked me, saying the last part more to himself than me.
"I'm fine," I replied. It would have worked if it was with anyone other than Simon.
"Oh, Clary." And he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head against his chest, a rebellious tear sliding down my face.
"It's okay," Simon crooned, stroking my heart comfortingly.
"No, it's not," I replied truthfully, my voice cracking.
Simon pulled back a bit and when he saw the tears that kept coming after the first one, he pulled me back in a tight hug.
"Can I please rearrange his face now?" Simon pleaded.
I laughed, humorlessly. "No."
"Why not?"
I stayed silent, unable to answer. I just couldn't put what I felt into words and I wasn't going to be one of those crazy, bitchy ex's. You can handle this, I thought to myself, not really having much hope.
"I hate crying," I said under my breath while wiping away the tears with the back of my hand. They were falling freely, as if the barrier was finally knocked down.
Simon, apparently not noticing the topic change, hugged me even more tightly as I willed myself to stop crying. I felt stupid for crying over a guy. Every time I heard about break ups and a girl crying over them, I never really understood why they would cry. I would just think, just get over it, it isn't the end of the world.
But then again, what we had was different. Or maybe that's what every girl thinks. A guy expression came in mind. Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it. Well, I was certainly done crying now.
I was going to go over the bridge. Pushing Simon away, I got up and left abruptly. I locked myself in the bathroom, cleaning myself up.
Simon's Point of View
I watched Clary get up and leave after she pushed me away. I'm not sure why she did and I hadn't asked her because she looked deep in thought. And when she's like that, even if I try talking to her, she was unreachable. So I let her walk away without a fight.
Funny how a few months ago, I had so badly wanted to hold her like that, and now that I have, I don't really feel anything. I always have – and always will – love her, but I don't love her the way I used to. I know now that her heart will only ever belong to Jace.
And he is stupid enough to think that it wasn't. Speaking of Jace, I really just felt like going and just pound the pulp out of him.
Since I can't do that, sadly, I had promised, then at least I was going to have a talk with him. A very serious talk. And hey, if he hits me first, I'm only defending myself, right?
My mouth curved into a smile, as I thought that. I then thought about Clary, as always, and I knew that he didn't break up her today. She would have been alone, sobbing her heart out, not with me and crying a bit. I should have known that something was wrong, I chastised myself. What kind of best friend are you?
Clary's Point of View
After I cleaned up and not to shed any more silly tears over the undeserving douche, I entered my room, Simon – thankfully – still there. I thought that he might have ran out and beat the crap out of Jace.
Wait, no he couldn't. Knowing Jace, he probably would still be in the Institution or fighting a demon so Simon was going to have a problem since a, he can't enter the Institute and b, how is he suppose to find one demon in all of New York City?
I glanced at Simon, knowing the he knew I was there with his vampire hearing. He seemed lost in thought, a little bit twitchy. It was hard to tell if he was if you didn't know him. He always made this tiny little face every time he was. It was barely a change in his face but I could see it.
"Simon–" I was interrupted by Simon's phone ringing. He muttered an 'excuse me' and left the room, muttering too low into the phone for me to hear clearly.
I sighed and sat on the bed, waiting a bit impatiently. Simon came back in, running his hand through his hair.
"Sorry Clary, but my mom called. I have to go." Something seemed off but I was too busy thinking about how tonight and how he knows.
"Aw," I responded. "Well, have fun."
"Yeah, okay," he sarcastically muttered as he left.
Simon's Point of View
I felt pretty guilty since I lied to her. Yeah, my mom had called me, but that's not why I left. So I half-lied. But that was still lying.
I dialed a number. It went to operator. I called again, going to annoy the hell of out him, even if he was on a date or hooking up with some other girl.
Again, it went to operator. I gritted my teeth as I hauled a cab, giving him directions. I called him again, hoping he could pick up. Or else he was going to regret it.
"What?" came Jace's irritated voice through the phone.
"I need to talk to you."
"Leave me alone, I'm busy." I don't doubt that, I thought to myself.
"I don't care, this is important," I insisted.
"Fine, where to bloodsucker?" Clearly, he was in a good mood.
"Veselka. And try not to kill anyone on your way." I glanced at the taxi driver, and he didn't seem bothered with what I said. New Yorker cab drivers were use to much crazier people than me and what they said. Not like he knew anything anyway.
"I'll try." And the phone line went dead. Yeah, just hang up on me without a 'bye'. Jerk.
We arrived at Veselka and I entered, sitting at a table, drumming my fingers on the table as I waited for Jace. This kid better not keep me waiting.
Jace's Point of View
I entered Veselka, a rather unattractive place on the corner of Ninth Street and Second Ave. I entered, spotting Simon right away. He was sitting at the table, the drumming of his fingers stopped as he spotted me. I felt the eyes of some teenage girls giggling at me. I was tempted to roll my eyes. I don't think they'll like me after they find out what I do.
Simon leaned back in what looked like a hard plastic chair. I gulped; I had no idea what this was going to be about and I wasn't exactly in the mood to talk to Clary's best friend.
"Jace," he greeted me the same way that Clary had earlier today.
"Simon," I acknowledged. "Now, what's this all about?"
He paused for a second, before giving me a look. I sat down on the chair – which was a hard and uncomfortable. I was right.
"You seriously don't know?" Simon asked, arching an eyebrow. I thought about it, before concluding that this probably had to do with Clary; just my luck.
I apparently took too long, because Simon snapped. "Do you not have a brain under that blonde hair of yours? Or are you just pretending to be stupid?" He muttered, loudly enough for me to hear, that can't be that hard for you.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did you not," I drawled, "call me over. Cut to the chase, kid or else I'm leaving."
"Fine," he snapped, probably not happy with me calling him 'kid' and then paused. "Why did you break up with Clary?" Ah, there it was. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. Now, how could I tell him? He was going to tell Clary and honestly, that's none of his business. Okay, it was, a bit, but that's not the point.
"That's none of your business," I said the best thing that I could.
"I have every right to know. Do you not remember what you said that night after the battle? You said you'll keep her happy. Is this what you call happy?" he hissed at me.
"Look, I wanted to see other people, what's the big deal?" I answered shallowly.
Simon's nostrils flared. "The big deal? The big deal?" his voice rising with each word.
He looked at me, my amber eyes clashing with his dark chocolate brown ones. "The big deal," he enunciated each word, "is that she still loved you when she thought that you were her brother. She loved you when you turned her world upside down with the Shadow World. She brought you back to life. Now you're asking me what the big deal is?"
"I never asked her to do all those things!" I cried, my voice loud and my fist slamming down on the table.
"You weren't suppose to ask her! She did it because she loved you! That's what people do when they love each other. You wouldn't know," Simon disgustedly spat the last part out at me.
He got up, throwing some bills to pay for the untouched coffee and stormed out, leaving me alone at the table.
Simon's Point of View
I couldn't believe that jackass, the nerve that he had! I stormed out of the café angrily, heading towards home. How could he say all that?
That wasn't the Jace I knew before. At all. Before, I thought that he really had loved her, despite all his cockiness, I had approved if Clary wanted him. Now, he didn't seem to care at all, the way he blew off all the things she had done for him! How could he do that?
I remembered his face after I said that last part, looking at his face from the side. There was something he wasn't telling me, something that he was holding back on. But whatever it was, I didn't want to find out. I was so going to break his face into tiny little pieces like shattered glass.
I was glad that he broke up with her, she deserved better than him. He was good for no one. He can grow old and die alone for all I care. Breaking hearts is what he was best at doing.
And what he just did to my best friend.
Texting abbreviation:
Wbu – what about you
Nm- nothing much
So, what did you guys think? Tell me what you liked, disliked and all that good stuff. I tried getting it in early but I had A LOT of homework and chores and after school activities and whatnot, so sorry! Only reason why I'm posting this today is because I was going to post to tomorrow, but I'm going to be out all of tomorrow, so here you go! Hope you enjoyed it! Secret word: Party! Why? Because I'm going to a party tomorrow (that's literally what I'm doing for most of the day and then dinner) =D
New goal: 78? Thanks for meeting it last time! You guys are awesome!
P.S. Check out the stories I beta for: Bookninja15's (I remembered hehe) Raziel Academy, Coolxnerd's You Should Have Stayed and MollyGM's City of Bones Jace POV! They are all super awesome (I should know =p) so check it out!
***Reminder: This is set AFTER City of Glass and BEFORE City of Fallen Angels. And don't forget to review please!