Daegu, South Korea – May 2008

"That's stupid."
"You're stupid."
"I know, thanks for reminding me."
"You're welcome."

They were an odd pair. A boy with clothes so mismatched it looked deliberate and a girl with shoes so shiny they could blind you. However, sitting on the bus together, rambling on about music, they didn't seem so out of place. It had been two years since that fateful day when Nari embarrassed herself and went up to speak to the mystery boy. But now, Nari and Yoon-gi were good friends. They took the bus together every morning and occasionally in the evening, and Yoon-gi would meet up with her, Yoon-ah and Hae-won at the tteokbokki cart they all liked nearly every day. The tab on Yoon-gi's melon and tteokbokki had long been forgotten by Nari, but she kept feeding him. Yoon-gi, on the other hand, was keeping track, fully intending on paying back every single cent she'd spent on him. And, to this day, Yoon-ah and Hae-won didn't know a thing.

"Are you two arguing again?"

The bus had come to a stop, and Yoon-ah and Hae-won waltzed over. Hae-won shooed Yoon-gi to Nari's right and took his spot.

"He's written something stupid," Nari said, sighing.
"It's a play on words, woman," Yoon-gi sighed.
"Ah, the everlasting tension between rapper and vocalist," Yoon-ah said airily. "How predictable."
"It can't be that bad," Hae-won said. "He's usually a good writer."
"See?"
"Hey, you're supposed to be taking my side, not his," Nari complained.
"Oh, how'd the job thing go?" Yoon-ah asked suddenly.

Nari clapped excitedly and shook Yoon-gi by the shoulder. He struggled to get her to detach.

"I take it, it went well?" Hae-won asked, looking on, concerned.
"Yeah—Nari, quit it!" Yoon-gi said. He finally managed to pry her hands off. "You're gonna make me throw up on you."
"I'm just so proud," Nari said, faking a dramatic cry. "My little Yoon-gi-ya—all grown up."
"I'm two years older than you, weirdo."
"But I'm still an inch taller."

Yoon-gi flicked Nari on the forehead and the girl grumbled.

"You could have flicked her harder," Hae-won said.
"I'll flick you if you don't shut up, Hae-won!"

Hae-won taunted Nari and ended up dodging many attempts to flick her forehead. The bickering went on until they reached Yoon-gi's bus stop and the three girls paused to bid a good day to their friend. When he was out of sight, Yoon-ah pulled out another new album to gush over, which made Hae-won sigh. However, it got a little better when Nari took out Epik High's new album she'd just gotten. Seeing the hip-hop album was like a godsend and, during their lunch break, Hae-won insisted that she, Nari and Yoon-ah sneak into one of the music rooms to eat and play their new CDs.

"Ugh, why is this so good," Hae-won said dramatically, as she swayed to Usan."
"Because you have good taste," Nari chuckled. She stuffed a big piece of fried chicken in her mouth. "If I ever meet them, I'll tell them you're their number one fan."
"I still can't believe you're going to be a YG trainee," Yoon-ah sighed, smiling. "Maybe you really will be the next Park Hyo Shin."
"Highly unlikely," Hae-won said. "Park Hyo Shin is a God and Nari is just a pathetic mortal."
"Thanks," Nari chuckled, smacking Hae-won on the shoulder. "Besides, I'll probably be signed to a girl group, anyway."

The three girls ate and swayed to the music until there were ten minutes left to their lunch break. Hae-won served as a lookout as Yoon-ah and Nari cleaned up and set everything back into place, and then they all scurried off to class.

It was rather difficult for Nari to pay attention today. She kept looking at the thermos bottle filled with tea on her desk, thinking about her mother. Charlotte returned to work last year and had been experiencing varying stress levels ever since, but it had become quite noticeable for a week or so. She spoke a lot less than usual and wasn't as bubbly when Yoon-ah and Hae-won came over. Hae-won even noticed that her tea had been tasting different.

It didn't help that that morning Charlotte had said Hae-won and Yoon-ah couldn't come over for tea. She'd said something about an important family dinner, and that was worrying Nari. There'd never been an important family dinner. Ji-hoon worked more than Charlotte and Nari would have liked and therefore never really sat and ate with them. Usually, it was both women sitting outside at the patio table, chatting away and eating casually. A serious dinner was something to be worried about.

Nari frowned. The sounds of the teacher talking were soon drowned out as her mind focused on her mother. Every single possible scenario for what was going on with her mother was rushing through her head and, before Nari knew it, the whole class had gone by and it was time for the next one. However, Nari's attention wasn't any better.

At the end of the day, she had retained zero information whatsoever. She asked Hae-won for her notes and quickly reviewed them before taking Yoon-ah's, complaining about illegible handwriting. On the bus home, she retook the notes, pausing every time there was a bump, and finished up the job when they'd disembarked for their traditional tteokbokki afterschool snack.

"Are we still banished from your house tonight?" Hae-won asked. She fed Nari a piece of tteokbokki as she wrote her notes.
"Yeah," Nari sighed. She finished up the note-taking and handed back the book to Yoon-ah. "I'm worried about this dinner."
"I'm sure it's nothing," Yoon-ah tried to reassure.
"No, I'm sure it is something. We never have dinner with Ji-hoon—he's specifically leaving work early for this."
"I'll never get over the fact you call your father by his first name."

Nari chuckled and sighed. She took a bite of her food.

"You know we've never been really close," she said. "He's more of a wallet than anything else."
"Nari-ya!" Yoon-ah scolded. "Don't talk about your father like that."
"Hey, it's rude, but she isn't wrong," Hae-won defended. "It's not like the man is bad or anything, but when was the last time you heard Nari say something positive about him?"
"Ugh, we were still in kindergarten, I know." Yoon-ah pinched the bridge of her nose. "I still don't think you should talk about him so rudely."
"Well, it's not like I call him Ji-hoon to his face," Nari chuckled. "I don't have a death wish."

When their tteokbokki was done, Yoon-ah insisted on taking a selfie to make Yoon-gi jealous. She posted it in the group chat as the three girls got onto the bus. Yoon-ah and Hae-won got off after a few stops, and they wished Nari luck with the family dinner, insisting that she call them if anything was wrong. Then, they left Nari alone with her swirling anxious thoughts.

When Nari reached her house, Yoon-gi had sent a simple, "Rude" in the group chat. She chuckled and sent a few laughing emojis before making herself some tea. As she was heading out, tea and biscuits in hand, Ji-hoon walked in through the front door. Nari greeted her father politely and he nodded, heading straight to his office without saying a word. Nari let out a long sigh.

"Typical."

Nari spent the next few hours splitting her attention between studying, her iPod and her friends' group chat. She didn't even realise that her mother had come home and that dinner was ready until she felt Charlotte tap her hand on her shoulder. Nari put away her laptop and iPod into her backpack and brought her teacup and saucer back inside. Charlotte had prepared quite an elaborate meal; there was grilled pork with several dipping sauces, pancakes, omelettes, rice and japchae, and on the counter, Nari could see a beautiful cream sponge cake for dessert.

"Wah, eomma, you went all out," Nari said, sounding eager. If anything, the elaborate nature of the dinner was making her even more nervous. "This is too much for a little family dinner."
"Nonsense," Charlotte denied. "Go get your father, all right?"
"Hm, yeah, okay."

With a sigh, Nari went over to her dad's office and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, Nari twisted the handle and poked her head in. Her father was absorbed by whatever was on the screen.

"Abeoji."
"Hm?"
"Dinner."

Ji-hoon nodded once, grumbled and did nothing else.

"Abeoji."
"Hm?"
"Now."

With a sigh, Ji-hoon closed whatever it was he was reading and stood. Nari backed away from the door and returned to the kitchen. Charlotte was already seated, serving food onto everyone's plates and bowls. They began eating in silence, but Nari could feel the tension. Even Ji-hoon, who was usually as expressive as a wet paper towel, seemed nervous. Charlotte would have looked fine if she made eye contact with her family. However, every time Nari looked up at her, Charlotte seemed to look away.

"Is everything okay, eomma?"
"My lily flower... Your father and I have some bad news."

Nari's heart sank and she glanced around at the food. She was right to be worried. The fancy meal was probably just to make the news go down easier.

"Halmeoni is sick."
"Halmeoni is sick?" Nari repeated. "Is she going to be okay?"

When Charlotte hesitated, Nari knew that something was seriously wrong.

"We don't know, sweetheart," Charlotte said.
"Well, what's wrong with her?"
"The doctors aren't sure yet, but they think that her cancer may be back."

Nari could feel the tears welling up.

"But I thought she beat that years ago?"
"I know, dear. I know."
"Who's going to take care of her now that harabaeoji is gone? We can't have her stay in the hospital forever."
"Well, that's what your father and I wanted to talk to you about."

Nari's eyebrows quirked into a frown. She blinked and a few tears fell down her cheeks.

"What do you mean that's what you wanted to talk to me about? You just told me grandma is sick—is that not all?"
"You're right, lily-flower," Charlotte admitted. "She's my mother. We can't let her stay in the hospital forever. Someone has to take care of her."

There was suddenly a lump in Nari's throat.

"There's no one else in England that we can trust to help her, so—"
"So, you're going to have her flown here, right?" Nari said, her voice cracking. "Right!?"
"She's too sick to fly, dear."

Nari scoffed, mouth hanging open in disbelief. Her lower lip began to tremble and she blinked quickly to get rid of the tears threatening to fall.

"There's got to be specialised care homes that deal with this sort of thing," Nari argued. "Can't we just—"
"Lily-flower, she's my mother," Charlotte said softly. "I can't just throw her into some care home and leave her in the hands of strangers."
"But eomma, they're specialised—"
"Nari—"

Charlotte had reached her hand out and placed it over her daughter's, but Nari pulled her hand away. Her eyes were wide and filled with tears.

"So, you're asking me to move to England!?" she exclaimed.
"We don't have a choice—"
"Of course we do! Why don't you go to England alone—abeoji and I can stay here!"
"Nari, your mother can't take care of your grandmother alone," Ji-hoon stated calmly. "I don't have a choice to go, and you staying here on your own is out of the question."

Nari chuckled, but there was no humour behind it. Her brain stuttered for a moment, every part of her going on pause while her thoughts caught up with her. The welled-up tears in her eyes began to fall.

"I know it's asking a lot—"
"A lot? A lot!?"

The chair Nari was sitting on flew back as she stood rapidly.

"Eomma you're asking me—everyone here— to uproot their lives!" Nari shouted.
"Nari, calm—"
"Don't tell me to calm down! You're asking me to leave my entire life behind!"
"Sweetheart—"
"No! You're asking me to leave my friends, my school, the house that I grew up in—and you know that I just got accepted into YG's trainee program! Eomma, I start in two weeks!"
"We're leaving before the end of the summer," Ji-hoon said. He put down his chopsticks and sighed. "You're going to have to withdraw your acceptance into the progra—"
"NO!" Nari shouted, her voice cracking. "I'M NOT GOING! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR THIS?!"
"Nari, don't yell at your father," Charlotte said sternly.
"Then don't send me to England!" Nari retorted. "I can't believe you'd just spring this on me! I've seen you acting weird for weeks now—was it because of this?"
"Nari—"
"You could have at least told me halmeoni was sick earlier! But now you tell me everything at the same time—did you really expect me to take this well?!"
"I was hoping you'd be understanding."

Nari scoffed and wiped the tears away from her eyes. In a fit of rage, she kicked the chair that had fallen to the ground.

"Understanding? Eomma, do you realise that this YG trainee thing is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!? If I leave, I'm never going to get this chance again!"
"Sweetheart, we all have to make sacrifices sometimes," Charlotte reasoned.
"Sacrifices? Sacri—eomma I'm sacrificing my entire future here!"
"Hey, your mother sacrificed her career in medicine to be able to be home with—"
"I DIDN'T ASK HER TO DO THAT!" Nari yelled. "That was her choice! How can you have a child and rip their dreams away!? Yoon-gi and I were going to debut the same year, Yoon-ah was going to go to college and start her own fashion brand, and Hae-won—well, I don't know what Hae-won's dream is but I can't see it happen when I'm IN ENGLAND!"

With a harsh and angry growl, Nari stormed to her bedroom and locked the door behind her. She let out a long and pained scream before throwing herself onto her bed and burying her face into the pillow. Hot tears stung her eyes and soaked the pillow as she racked with sobs. She ignored the soft knocks on the door and didn't budge until the rage slowly burned down into sadness. The room had become quiet. Only the sound of the air conditioning unit and soft sniffling could be heard. Nari heard someone knock again, but she glared at the door, refusing to open the door. Instead, she rolled over in her bed and picked up the phone at her beside. Nari listened to it ring a few times after she'd dialled a number and after a short exchange with a woman, Yoon-gi's voice came through the phone.

"Yo, Nari."
"Hey, Yoon-gi-ya..." Nari muttered. She sniffled.
"Nari? You good?"
"No... I've got some bad news."