Disclaimer:

Jace: Say it *smiles*

Me: I've been through with this with Aden.

Jace: *smile drops off face* Say it, or else.

Me: Or else what?

Jace: I'll hurt you like I hurt Aden.

Me: *Hides behind textbook* I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

Jace: Good.

Me: But I do own Selena and Aden. =)

Jace: Smart little…

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, added my story on story alert and/or favorite story and favorite author. Thanks guys! All make my day. =D

Oh, hope this shows that Aden and Selena (although I'm not sure why some people think that Aden is since he fought Jace even when she didn't want to) Mary-Sue. It was always there, but I made it even more clear now (in case you're wondering, don't you think that Selena is too nice in that creepy way that makes you want to kick them sometimes? Like a suck-up (sorta)?).

Enjoy =)

Chapter 18: Few Moments of Calm

Jace's Point of View:

This was not good. What the fuck are we going to do?

Aden started running towards the door, running towards Clary. And I automatically started going towards Clary too. I felt a weird urge to get there before Aden. Damn, I thought as I grit my teeth. I thought we went over this! I do not like Clary! You're not worthy enough. Speaking of which, Selena…my thoughts trailed off. I never meant to go this far with her. I didn't even think that she was a Shadowhunter at first, so it didn't really matter if I hung with a mundie right?

I wasn't not worthy for either of them.

Or for anyone.

But I didn't go towards Clary. The only thing that stopped me from going was a sharp look from Selena, one that was so unlike her that I stopped. I was surprised but didn't say anything. What happened to her being nice? I thought. She never, in the past three weeks we've been dating, have ever gave me a look like that.

Plus, didn't she want me to patch things up with Clary? Confused, I started walking again. "Jace," Selena's voice came icily to me, "don't go to Clary."

"I'm not," I replied as frostily as her voice had been. I turned to look at Selena at my words; I've never spoke to her like that, I never had the occasion that made me. She didn't even look shocked, or even surprised. She didn't even wince, which even Izzy was doing right now. She probably thought I was going to break another innocent, good heart. I should just stick to the ones that just wanted a make-out secession and leave.

Instead, Sel's face was as cold and blank as her voice. "Then where are you going?" she asked, with less of an edge to it, but the iciness was still there. She shifted her arms, re-crossing them in front of her chest. A stubborn look I recognized.

"To China," was my sarcastic reply before slamming the door shut, with more force than necessary. I strode to my bedroom, passing Izzy's room where I could hear voices.

Clary.

Aden's Point of View

I started running after Clary, and I could see Jace from the side starting to do so to. Fuck off, I thought. Seriously, I don't give a shit what their past was, but this was my problem right now, he can come later if he wants. He has to stop acting like her boyfriend when I was.

I swear, the way he looks at her sometimes makes me want to…calm Aden, I thought to myself. I took deep breaths and not from running.

She was heading down the corridors where my room was. Where is she going? I wondered, all mean thoughts of Jace vanishing. She shoved open a door, before slamming it shut.

Or should I say, almost shut.

I stopped it with my foot, catching it between the door and the doorframe. Man did that hurt. You can heal it later, I thought to myself. Fighting with Jace before had left me pretty banged up.

"Clary, please," I begged her.

"Go away," she snapped at me. I flinched but I was a bit angry. Can't she even listen to me? I don't want to fight with her, why is she making it worse?

"Please!"

"No," was her curt response.

"Don't make me bust down the door, because you know very well that I will. And you'll hear from Izzy about this later."

"I don't care," Clary sniffled.

"Red, please, let me in!"

"Fine," she snapped at me again going away from the door but it leaving open. I entered before locking it behind me. I didn't want Jace in here. Speaking of which, where was blondie?

Shaking my head, I started walking towards Clary but a shake of her head, the red curls bouncing, made me stop. The motion had 'stay' written all over it. I resist the urge to not listen and just pulled her into a hug. I can't stand to hurt her.

Clary's Point of View

"Clary –"

"Why?" I whispered, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry, it's just that–"

"Just what?" I asked, my voice going an octave higher. I winced at the memory of screaming those exact words to Jace. I stomped those memories into tiny little pieces. He was my past. Or so you tell yourself, a voice whispered. I shoved it back, now was not the time to think about it. Jace is gone and done.

He looked at me for a second, faltering after seeing me wince. He probably thought that one wrong word would make me lose it. Maybe he was right.

"I didn't mean for you to find out this way," he finally said.

"And how exactly did you expect me to find out then? Or do you mean for me not find out at all?"

The words were harsh and when Aden flinched back, I felt guilty. I was taking out all my anger on that subject, and my anger on Jace on him. That wasn't his fault – well, the fighting was – and it was unfair to him. I took a deep breath.

"Clary, I was going to tell you. After we were done."

"But you knew I wouldn't like it," I stated.

"True," he admitted. "But I thought that if you saw how we didn't kill each other than you would be less worried." I thought about that. It was true.

"Okay, but you still knew I didn't want you guys to fight at all."

"I know, but hey, I can't keep from practicing with him from one point or another. You can't delay what's bound to happen."

"Okay, you win," I sagged in defeat and plopped down on the bed. Aden didn't exactly look happy that I wasn't mad at him anymore.

"Clary, baby, this wasn't about us winning or losing, it's about us working this out. And we did, now, stop looking so glum. Aren't you going to show me what you got?" Aden slyly changed the subject. He really did care about me.

I shook my head. "Why not?" he asked me.

"It's a surprise."

"Okay," he laughed, "as long as you aren't going as a sexy stripper. I mean, of course you can look sexy but don't be like that." He grinned at me.

"How'd you know?" I asked, joking around.

Jace's Point of View

I pressed my ear to the door, knowing that I should really be smacked for this. Seriously, first following Clary around like an unknown shadow, then doing this to her and Izzy and now doing it to her and Aden..that was just wrong. She'll kill me if she finds out. Which she won't…I thought.

"I'm sorry, it's just that–" Aden started.

"Just what?" Clary asked, cutting him off. I tried not to wince at the memory of Clary lashing out those exact same words to me. I tried not to think about that often, no surprise there.

There was a pause before Aden responded. Maybe Clary winced too. Yeah, right…I thought.

"And how exactly did you expect me to find out then? Or do you mean for me not find out at all?" Ouch, that was harsh. Good enough to be a blow below the belt. Her words were used like Izzy's whip, sharp and hard.

Again, there was another pause. Poor guy. And to think I had to control myself so I wouldn't beat him up. I'm sure that this was way worse than a beating. "Clary, I was going to tell you. After we were done."

He was? I don't remember him saying anything about that.

"But you knew I wouldn't like it," Clary said.

"True, but I thought that if you saw how we didn't kill each other than you would be less worried." Okay, that was a good and valid point.

"Okay, but you still knew I didn't want you guys to fight at all."

"I know, but hey, I can't keep from practicing with him from one point or another. You can't delay what's bound to happen." That too was true, what did she think, that we were going to kill each other? Just because I wanted to doesn't mean I was going to.

"Okay, you win," Clary sighed. I blinked; he shouldn't make a girl be like 'you win'. That's just….

"Clary, baby, this wasn't about us winning or losing, it's about us working this out. And we did, now, stop looking so glum. Aren't you going to show me what you got?" Good, he better had said that, or else I would have killed him. That just showed that he was good for her.

I shook my head, not thinking about that. "Why not?"

"It's a surprise," Clary replied mysteriously. Okay, I had enough, no more doing this. It was out of what I wanted to hear and I didn't want to spy on Clary any more than I already had. No need to raise my creeper status then from it already is.

I sighed and laid down in my bed. Aden was good for Clary; he just proved that now, even if he did end up being an idiot and doing this behind her back. But what about Sel?

I just used her at first, when I saw her in the club. She was like a rebound even if I was the one who broke up with her. I didn't think that she was going to end up being a Shadowhunter and then living here, it was like a one night thing. I didn't feel as strong for her as I did then.

It hit me as hard as I might run into a brick wall. I didn't like Selena in that way. I just liked her as a friend and used her to make it look like I was over Clary. Really, all I felt this time was friendship, not anything else. It was just covered up, buried. But somehow, I felt like I knew it all along.

A good thing too, because I didn't want to end up hurting Selena as bad as I did to Clary. Also, that I found out before it was worse for her. And me. I didn't want to go through loving someone else like that and then leaving them because of the same reason for leaving Clary.

I guess all along I never really planned her to be there with me. I guess the alcohol that night was making everything all like that. I knew I shouldn't have had those drinks…

I was just suppose to use a girl, and then throw them away, like all the others. But I didn't want to hurt Sel, even if I just realized that I didn't like her like that. She would still make a good friend, and I didn't want to be a damper on her happiness.

But she kinda needed to tone it down a bit. Maybe she had ADHD. People with that are usually hyper like that…

Hmm, I pondered over that. Either way, she was nice, even if it was sort of creepy at times. Like how she never gets mad too, the creepy calm. And sometimes she was just too nice, kind of like how a fake person might be.

Oh right, she was angry at me. Or icy towards me anyway. Funny, she kind of reminded me like winter, with being silver-haired and all. Like how Sel could just as sharp as the bitter cold and icicles but also as nice as winter, like a little kid playing in the snow.

Yeah, that was a good way to describe her.

But just like playing in the snow, after a while, the bitter cold gets to you. Like how I'm getting it now.

The big question was though, how was I going to break up with her? I don't know a way to break up with her and not hurt her. And what about Clary?

Can I really just stand by, see her possibly marry Aden, have kids with him, grow old with him? Could I really do that? That night, in Idris in her room, I told her I couldn't do that before I left to find Sebastian – I couldn't stand to call him by my name.

So how could I do what I said I never could a year ago? I still felt the same way, if not stronger. Argh, Herondale, you're going around in circles!

What to do…what to do. I could do this, I could do that, but I have no idea what to do! Sighing, I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, blonde locks spilling back.

At least I was sure of one thing: I was glad that I fought with Aden. Or else I might have realized this later and that would not be good.

The only thing left to do was to tell Clary how I felt.

Clary's Point of View

"I know," Aden said, smiling from the sexy stripper image that was probably in his head, "because I'm awesome like that."

"Didn't you ever hear the modesty was an attractive trait?"

"Not for people as good-looking as me," Aden smirked. What was with me and cocky guys, I had no idea.

"Okay then. Is it me, or is it hot in here?" I asked, efficiently changing the subject. Wrong move.

"Want me to leave?" Aden's smirk got bigger.

"No, but I will," I laughed and bounded towards the door.

"No wait Clary, sorry! Come back, my lap feels cold!" Aden called out to me. I rolled my eyes; his lap was probably getting too hot anyways in the humid air. I have to tell Izzy to crank up the air-conditioning.

I went to the kitchen, I was trying to make Aden go get ice cream with me since it was hot but he had to ruin it with his wittiness, didn't he?

Whatever, I'll just get it myself, I thought as I opened the kitchen door.

Jace's Point of View

I looked up from the kitchen table, the door opening to reveal a person standing there.

Clary.

Just the person I wanted to see.

"What are you doing here?" Clary asked, clearly shocked.

"Who wouldn't want to see my glamorous face? Do you know how many people would kill to see this face?" I hope that my response would keep her from finding out the real reason. I need to get some space to think about what I was going to say to Clary.

I was stupid and wrong to leave her. Even if I thought myself as unworthy, she still somehow loved me back. And I didn't take that into consideration. I just thought how I was for her. I didn't think about how she somehow wanted me.

And from now on, if she wanted me here, I was going to be. Even if she didn't, I still will be. Forever and always.

I was selfish in a way before though, and yet I wasn't. If I ever told her the real reason, it would seem like I doubted her love for me then, which wasn't true at all. I was an idiot. I guess the saying was right, you never realize what you have until it's gone. And by then it's usually too late.

I wasn't going to make it too late. I was going to tell her.

Somehow, she saw something in me that wasn't worthless, something that was good. And I was going to live up to that expiation. I failed before, and now I was going to tell her.

"Uh huh," Clary snorted, snapping me back into the real world. She got out two bowls and spoons before taking out some ice cream. She carefully put scoops in the bowls before turning to leave.

"Clary," I called out, stopping her.

"Yes?"

"I don't regret fighting with Aden be–" I started.

Clary instantly blew up, not bothering to hear the rest and despite the cool ice cream in her hand. "Of course you don't! You wanted to hurt him, didn't you?"

I didn't say anything because I was shocked that she would jump to that conclusion whilst she took it as a confirmation before spinning on her heel and dashing away.

Shit…that came out wrong.

Clary's Point of View

The nerve that Jace had! I muttered things like this all the way to Izzy's room, smiling a bit when I saw Aden.

"Ice cream," I sang. He perked up, and typed something before slamming the phone shut again.

"Ooo, thanks babe. What flavor?"

"Your favorite," I smiled at him.

"Awesome, thanks Clary. I was wondering where you went," Aden said before diving into the chocolate chip ice cream.

"Mmm." I thought for a second about what Jace said. "Hey Aden, can I ask you something?"

Aden looked up at me and kept him expression blank. "Yeah, go ahead."

"Who started the fight?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

He blinked. "Promise you won't get mad?"

"Yes." Maybe.

"I did," he responded. My eyebrows went up to my hairline. What….I was so sure it was Jace.

"Oh."

"Yeah, we were just seeing who was better. I have to admit, Jace is good."

"I know." I didn't really want to talk about him and I was hoping he was getting the hint. He did.

After that, we just fell into easy chatter again, all worries about Jace and the fight drifting out of my mind. We only left to go in the kitchen and eat some pasta that Maryse made for dinner. Shortly afterwards, I had to go home.

As I was walking home, the street I normally walk in was strangely empty. There was one lone car bustling and then the street was quite again. It was much too quiet for New York City, the city that never sleeps. There were only a few lights on too, spilling yellow every few dozen feet.

A cold breeze swept in from the north and I shivered despite the heat that lingered in the night air. It was like in those old cowboy movies, were the big dust thingy went across the street, with the weird music before a showdown or something.

I was lost in my thoughts, so I didn't hear the footsteps behind me rapidly approaching until it was too late.

A knife went to my throat, the cool metal burning my skin. I swallowed loudly, trying to be calm but no such thing. I was scared. What are you, a baby? a voice mocked me. I am a Shadowhunter! I retorted. Then act like one! it spat back. The voice was right, I was a Shadowhunter.

I quickly determined that he was short for a man, but he felt and looked muscular, from what I could see of his hand. And he wasn't even flexing his muscles. Shit…I thought to myself. This was not good. "Come with me," a deep masculine voice said. Ha, so he is a boy! was the only thing I could think of.

Then the realization hit me like a blow in the gut. This guy was going to rape me. Or….or worse. My eyes widened and I discreetly reached into my purse, for the handy seraph blade that Aden told me to take with me, just in case, every night when I walk to the Institute and home. I thanked him with my hand.

During the time I thought he was just being paranoid and over-protective – which was annoying sometimes – but thank the Angel for that. "Wh-wh-why?" I trembled out purposely so he would think that I was scared. This guy won't know how strong I was until it was too late for him. I didn't go through hell for a year for no reason; I could take this guy down easily.

The guy just chuckled, a cool evil sounding chuckle. Goosebumps rose up my arms; not a good sign. I finally had my seraph blade out and I gripped it tightly. This would have hurt a demon more, but this will still hurt this stupid mundie that thought that it could do something to me.

"Come along now," he said brightly. Asshat, I thought.

"Wh-wh-where?" I trembled out again. I guess the acting of being a pathetic girl worked. I guess my size helped too.

I turned the knife around and around in my hand, seeking comfort from it. "Don't worry about it." And he started shoving me forward. I stumbled a little, falling onto the floor. I looked up at him with big bright eyes.

Now that I finally saw him, I was scared. He was built to the max. His muscles bulged out from his arms, looking like if it got any bigger, it would burst. He had a mask over his face and was wearing black clothing and black boots. If he wasn't going to do something to me right now, I would have thought that he would have fit as a Shadowhunter perfectly.

I hid the blade behind my back and got up. "Come on dearie," he said, the evilness of him scaring the heck out of me.

"Well, dearie, take this!" I said as I leapt at him, cutting his right shoulder. Hopefully that man was a righty and that would make it hard for him to hurt him. Hopefully, he wasn't trained with both arms.

"You little bitch," he snarled at me. I backed away from him slightly as he held his right shoulder with his right arm. "I was going to let you live but now, now I'm gonna fuck you up so bad that the police won't even be able to recognize who you are!"

His threats didn't sound empty. But he wasn't making a move for me. I put my purse behind my back again, getting out my cell phone this time. I don't know who this guy was and he still wasn't looking like he was going to leap out and slash my guts out of my body. He just stood there, glaring at me.

It dawned to me then; this guy probably wanted me to call the police. Oh, by the Angel, this is like the KKK's being with the police and stuff! Or maybe he just jacked a police station..yeah, that's probably it, I worriedly thought.

I did what he probably what he least expected of me. I didn't call the police. I pushed the number three and clicked send.

I was calling Jace.

I never had to heart to take him off my speed dial, he was just after mom. I let it ring and slid it in the back pocked of my jeans, on speaker but putting the volume low so the man couldn't hear if Jace talked on the other line.

Then a dreadful feeling went down on me like a bucket full of cold icy water dumped on my head. I fought with Jace today…was he going to pick up? Would he, or was he too busy with Selena?

I couldn't hang up and call some else now. The man starting coming towards me, his hands outstretched. A shiny metal glinted from his left hand. Crap.

I backed away too, his forward step matching with each of my backward step. I was approaching the pole were I disappeared from soon. What would happen if I just disappear? I couldn't do that, the Clave would skin me alive for doing that.

Fuck you! I thought to him in my head. I couldn't take it anymore and it felt good to take out my anger at him, even if it was only in my head.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed at me. Hopefully by now Jace picked up and was listening. If he picked up.

Closer he came still, grinning.

He knew no one was going to save me.

Jace's Point of View

I was eating dinner with Sel in the kitchen, specially arranged by me. I set the table, light a candle and everything. Hopefully, with seeing my effort going into this, she wouldn't take the break up too hard. I considered telling her the stupid line, it's not you, its me. It was me.

Sel came and sat down, smiling at me. "Jace, this is so romantic! Oh did you do it by yourself? This is just so great! Aw, babe, this is so sweet!" she gushed, glowing with happiness. At least she liked it if anything, I thought.

"Sel, I want to tell you somethi–" I started but got cut off by my phone ringing. Frowning, I put one figure up to Sel to tell her that it would only be a moment and looked at caller ID.

It was Clary. I didn't know if I should pick up or not. Choices, choices. I finally decided to pick it up; Sel was starting to look at me strangely anyways.

I picked up. "Hello?" I waited. And waited. And waited.

No answer. What was this? A practical joke from Clary? Are her and Aden giggling right now, muting themselves so I wouldn't hear?

Or did she just butt dialed me?

I stayed on it for just a few extra seconds, just in case she actually was there and didn't realize I said hello.

Then I heard Clary scream. "Get away from me!" She sounded scared and terrified. Panicking, I ran out of the room, Clary still on the other end and burst into Aden's room. If he was doing any funny business with her, I swear I won't hesitate to snap his neck in half.

He was sitting there, innocently texting someone. "Where's Clary?" I growled at him.

He looked up at me, an odd emotion played out on his face. "Why?" he asked guardedly. I didn't have time for this.

"I need to know. It's important," I told him.

I guess that got his attention. "She started walking home a couple of minutes ago. Why?" he informed me.

I didn't answer him, just flew out of his room and out the door. I pounded on the steps, Clary still on the other end.

"Help, help! Somebody help me!" Clary screamed, terrified.

"No one's going to help you girly," a voice growled at her. Shit. You are gonna fucking die, whoever you are. You are gonna get so fucked up when I'm through with you, I thought, more than pissed. Don't worry Clary, I'm coming!

I zoomed on the street, shoving and pushing past other people. Anything to help save Clary before it was too late. From what I heard, this wasn't a mugger.

Clary's Point of View

Please Jace, hurry up! "Help, help! Somebody help me!" I screamed, also benefiting for Jace if he was still on the line. The knife was stained with a lot of blood, as well as his shirt and the floor, yet he still came at me like it was nothing. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"No one's going to help you girly," he menacingly told at me. Right, still pissed at me.

I continued walking backwards. Somehow, I knew that if I fought him, I would be dead before I could even snap my fingers. No wait, I wasn't going to die that easily. He was going to torture me before killing me.

Finally, I couldn't take being a coward. I didn't want to be stereotyped as a girl who can't fight. Because I can. And who knows if Jace is on the other line.

I rummaged through my purse, finding a dagger there. Bitch, I thought, you're going down. I gripped both of them tightly in my hand and took a few steps towards him. He didn't seem fazed at all.

He seemed to be enjoying himself, as if this was a game for him. As if he liked his prey fighting him. We'll see who the prey is. I leapt out at him, stabbing him this time with both daggers in the stomach before yanking it out. He flinched and angrily threw me into the wall. He literally just threw me like he was a kid having a tantrum and was throwing his toys at the wall.

My head connecting with the wall with a sickening sound, my whole body feeling like, well, slamming into a brick wall. I could feel warm drops of blood oozing from my head. Even my palms were skinned from trying to lessen the impact.

At least he sounded like he was in pain, and throwing me that hard must have upset his belly. He bent over it, arms crossed in front as if he was going to die. Good. Who knows how many other girls he's done this to?

Right, stabbing stomachs was not fun for a mundane. Keep that mind for next time. Next time? I thought dimly. My brain felt fuzzy and I saw stars dancing in front of my eyes. Not good. Slowly but painfully, I got up, the spell still not breaking. Actually, it felt worse than before. But I had to try.

Or else I would die.

I put on a brave face and gripped the handles of my weapons. Somehow, I still had it in my hand, even after the impact. I guess that's what happens when you hold onto something tight.

I staggered forward, catching myself each time I fell. When I finally reach him, he just looked up at me with grim eyes, accepting defeat. He looked like he was expecting death. But he wasn't going to death. No, that would be far too of an easy punishment for him, especially after throwing me at a wall. No, he would live. But just in case…

I stabbed him in each leg so he couldn't escape, and he still didn't cry out. He was strong for a mundie. But he did move his lips in a wordless cry. After that, the blackness that was at the edges of my vision was starting to take over. I put a hand to my head, hoping that it would help. How was I going to get help now? Or go home? I can't in this state.

"Clary?" a frantic voice called out and the floor starting coming nearer and nearer. The person caught me and I could barely see; the blackness was too strong. But not enough to let me see one color.

Gold.

You like this chapter? Tell me your thoughts. This was meant to be only 3,000 but then I added the whole rapist guy in and BAM! 5,000 words handed on a silver platter to you.

Oh and guess what? I made a one-shot! Although I had thought with my 3 months on being on here that I wouldn't make a one-shot, I did! It's called I Love You and I give my thanks t SpeakNow1118 because I was talking to her and she said something that made me come up with the idea. My first one, so I hope you enjoy it!

Goal: 131? Please? And secret word, troublesome. Sadly, this whole week was horrible. My great aunt died, I was upset so I ended up fighting with my mom twice, sister, brother and best friend. And worried my other best friend and my aunt upset. So, it was not happy week for me. And my ankle starting acting up again too…*sigh* whatever, this week is getting better and school is gonna end! Hoorayyy!