Legal Tacos

An Elani Short

By Lou

4

"Dammit," he swore, then looked over his shoulder listening, hard, for speed demon little feet. He'd used damn near a whole bottle of dish soap, and he still couldn't get the damn ring off his finger. Nothing he tried got the band to budge. It was stuck.

"Hot!" He snatched his hand from under the faucet. It was cursed. Had to be. When he saw Black Elvis' ass again, the hand he was going to deliver. "Giant bastard."

"Daddy, what happened to your hand?"

Eli yelped nearly jumping out of his skin. "Where'd you come from?"

"My mama's stomach," David told him. "Did you hurt your hand?"

"I'm okay."

"You say that a lot; here," David took the stool he used to "help" wash the dishes to climb on his cabinets to reach the top of the fridge where Eli kept the kitchen band aids.

And his Doritos.

"David; you been getting me for my Doritos?"

"…No?"

Just like his mama.

"Gimmie the Band-Aid please." Eli fit one around the offending ass ring around his finger with his back to the little boy grumbling. "I'm just supposed to believe that this child isn't out here climbing mountains to get to the purple bag. Please. You gon replace my stuff, lil boy."

"David to get to school okay?"

"Yeah," Eli replied.

"Did he…?"

"No, he hasn't noticed yet, or he's playing me."

"Why would he-"

"He actually gave me an idea on how to-"

"Lani?"

"I'll call you back, Eli."

"How can I help you?" Justin smiled.

"Well, Justin," She sighed. "I need a divorce. The quicker, the quieter, the better."

"You and Brady got-"

"God, no. No offense."

"None taken. The perks of being a Kiriakis magnifies the downside of growing up as one if you don't have another strong, nurturing presence keeping you in check. See Philip. Brady had John and Marlena, but even then the influence of real love and care can only do so much."

"Long story short, your cousin can be an asshole?"

"Long story short, my cousin can be an asshole." Justin agreed. "Even if he really isn't trying to be. If you didn't marry Brady…Eli?"

"Yep."

"Unplanned?"

"Vegas wedding."

"That'll do it."

"Uh-huh. Uh…and annulment isn't an option."

"I see."

Lani nodded.

"So…the both of you are on board with this?"

"Yes."

"Does Eli have counsel?"

"No. He told me to do whatever to get this resolved. We don't want our son affected."

"Understandable. Before we get started on this, he will need to obtain counsel. There is no way around this unless he is going to go at this alone."

"I'm sure his getting a lawyer won't be a problem. Keeping this quiet is what's most important to the both of us."

"Just received your wire transfer," Justin said to her. "I'm, officially, on retainer."

"Need a lawyer. Dammit," Eli sighed, his eyes sliding closed. He had so wanted to avoid that. His eyes came open just as Belle was exiting the building. Eli took off after her, jumping over a desk, spinning around a patrolman on lunch call while digging in his pocket searching for the dollar he had won off David on a double or nothing thumb war between Julie and his great-grandfather.

They really needed to stop doing that with him.

"Hey, Belle!"

"How are y-oh." She looked down at the bill Eli slapped into her palm so very, very confused. "Thanks?"

"I need a lawyer."

"Okay. Why?"

Eli looked around scanning every place Paul or Shawn's cackling ass could be. "Igotmarried."

"Whaaaaat?" Bell swore, not at all shocked. "No way. Not surprising at ALL."

"Shh!" Eli looked around. "Do you want to be a widow?"

Belle turned her lips in at the look on Eli's face. When she saw the band-aid wrapped around his ring she clapped her hand over her mouth, big blue eyes sparkling with mirth. "How long do you think that is going to hold up?"

"Here you go. Worse than Shaw."

"You and Lani got married in Vegas." She said to him.

"H-"

"Men. Ridiculous for no reason." Belle rolled her eyes. "When Shawn told me about your friend Sheila, and Paul let it slip that Lani did, in fact, go to Vegas…math. She's the only woman you look at. Really look at. Still."

"Shawn told you about Chloe."

"Paul." Belle replied. "Confirmed it really. I won't apologize for my brother."

"I appreciate you not going there. Anyway. Lani says that I need a lawyer for this quicky divorce."

She smirked. "No annulment? Again, just so much shock."

"And here I was asking God why he would make Claire so much like her instigating ass daddy. My poor cousin never stood a chance."

Belle's cackle was the most unrepentant piece of foolishness that he had ever encountered, and David existed.

"Just an observation."

"Mm. Look, whatever Lani wants in this, do it." He told her. "We don't want David affected, and quiet. Don't tell Shawn."

"I don't know what makes you think he doesn't already know, what with this same wavelength you two seem to have; but I would never. What about you?"

"I'm not telling him shit."

"No," Belle chuckled. "I mean in this; what about you?"

"Taking care of them is taking care of me. He's too young to remember it, but David was stressed by our first divorce. We don't want him going through that again."

"Okay, who is Lani's counsel?"

"She didn't say."

"It should be simple. Though, because an annulment isn't an option, you have to go through the standard year legal separa-"

"On a Vegas wedding?" Eli took another quick look around to make sure no one was listening in.

"Law doesn't care about the location," Belle told him. "Just that a legal contract was entered into."

"That's romantic."

"At a Vegas wedding?" Belle tossed his words back at him.

"Points. Made."

"Mmhm. You two may even get lucky and the paper may not have been filed yet."

Eli pulled in a breath.

"I would not put all my eggs in that particular basket." She told him. "It's been a few days."

"Then why the statement?"

"Due diligence and the look on your face."

That slim chance went out the window quickly. Hell, Lani thought. The papers had been filed the same day and signed by a judge shortly afterward.

Lani tossed her phone to her desk in frustration. A headache playing at her temples. She picked the phone up, to let Eli know what was going on, and opened her email by mistake. A video sent by the karaoke bar played. It was she and Eli on stage getting their entire lives to New Edition's If It Isn't Love. Lani clapped a hand over her mouth stopping the bubbling laugh coming. She didn't remember any of this, but here it was.

Eli was hitting every step with her, too.

Lani gasped, her heart jumping to her throat at the unexpected knock at her door.

"Gams. Open the door." Paul spoke.

Lani rolled her eyes. "Mammaries…"

"Why are you hiding?" Paul asked stepping into Lani's office and closing the door behind him.

"I'm not hiding."

"Okay," Paul replied. "Let's circle back to that and, right now, you tell me what went down with you and Eli in Vegas."

"Nothing happened in Ve-" The look on Paul's face stopped Lani's lie from being completed. "I hate you."

"That's real nice talk, Mrs. Grant."

"How=-"

"The 'strategic' band-aid on Eli's finger and you walking around with the look of a deer perpetually caught in the headlights. Now I, 100 percent, believed that you and Eli revisited the Grande Special. The marriage thing caught me, considering."

"Yeah," Lani replied softly. "Considering."

"Hey, you both got passed that. What's the next step?"

"Yearlong separation before we can file for divorce as an annulment isn't an option.

"Was never going to be an option."

"Paul!"

"I have eyes." He said to her. "Something was happening."

"Co-Parenting was what was happening."

"Is that what they call it now?" He smirked.

"Raggedy."

"Amazing."

"Amazingly raggedy. Stop teaching your godson how to swear in Japanese."

"What?"

"His teacher said he cussed out a child on the playground in a 'foreign' language for not saying excuse me."

"Bitch."

"No arguments."

"How'd she know he was swearing?"

"Tone and middle fingers."

"Did he get in trouble?"

"No," Lani replied. "I don't like that woman."

"Civic duty then." Paul shrugged. "You gonna be okay, Lani?"

Her sigh was deep. "Yes, but…"

"But?"

"I keep like I keep messing up, Paul. My marriage, my relationship with Eli, and our son's stability. I would really like to not threaten that again."

"Eli isn't upset about this."

"I'm upset about this," Lani said. "I feel like every time I turn around lately I'm stepping in something."

"You expect to step in everything." Paul corrected her. "You still feel guilty all these years later about how things ended, how bad they got. Talk to Eli."

"He's avoiding me."

"Man is eight feet tall. How is that possible?"

"If it's not about David, he's not talking about it."

"He doesn't blame you for this," Paul said again. "You know this; and, if you don't, you really should."

"I feel like I don't know much of anything."

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and act. If Eli is hiding from you the way that you think that he is, find him. Paul scanned his cell before smirking at her. "I'm sending you food. Eat."

"Stay?"

"Wish I could, Gams. Other plans."

"Tell Will hello."

"He had his chance."

"The doctor?"

Paul winked. "Be nice to yourself, Lani Price."

Then he was gone.

"Hey," Eli nodded stepping around Lani and into the hotel room. "Thanks for the heads up. How in the hell did you find him?"

"Surveillance. We were tracking someone else and, it seems, that there is a connection."

"I knew he was still in Salem. I just couldn't prove it.

"Yet." Lani handed him the photos of Ted Leraunt talking with some striking woman and the smirk that touched his lips was so satisfying.

He could sense Lani pacing the space behind him.

"Paul knows." She blurted.

"Belle does, too." He didn't look back at her, but instead, out of the window.

"I think my dad suspects."

"Sheila absolutely does." He picked up the binoculars still looking out into the night for something. Anything.

"Great."

"We'll make it through this separation and get the divorce. It's not like it was the last time, Lani."

"Then why have you been avoiding me like the last time?"

"I didn't want you to be any more stressed out than you are." He hedged.

"You shutting me out has been more stressful the Black Elvis pronouncing us," Lani told him, still pacing. "We worked hard to find a common ground, and not just because of our son. I thought…"

"What? That I blamed you still? Why? If I still blamed you Lani we would still be in court. We'd still be speaking through attorneys about the everyday decisions regarding raising David. You didn't tell Chad DiMera to put a phony ass hit out on you. You didn't hire the buffoon that nearly killed you and our little boy. When I sued for full custody it was out of fear. I knew - I know - that you would never purposely put our son in danger. Stop blaming yourself for that. Please?"

"Why did you stay away? It wasn't just about me?"

"I needed to clear my head, too," Eli admitted.

"What does that mean?"

"Remember when every hand I had to give Chad arrived same day?"

Lani nodded.

"Well, Brady was looking at the same shipping and handling. I can't be thinking like that. I have a young man to help raise."

They were silent in the room then watching for movement.

The stakeout food made Lani nauseous, and she was starving. He had been in the middle of a meal with Julie when Lani had called and was chowing down on chips and fruit snacks.

"Who's your attorney?"

"Justin. What?!"

His laugh was so tickled Eli couldn't catch a decent breath; he could barely keep his body in his chair. When he thought he had it together, he would fall apart again.

"I fail to see what the hell is so funny."

"You sure you want to get a divorce?" Eli chortled.

"I signed the damn paperwork."

"And trusted Justin Kiriakis to file it. Justin, the fool who got his ass locked up in the pen trying to scam a scammer. Kiriakis? I can't believe you put money in his hand."

"The paperwork has been filed," Lani said to him, her lips twitching. David had the exact same laugh, just in little boy. "I checked."

The laughter that followed made Lani want to fold Eli up into the smallest space available.

"Oh," She continued. "I like how you requested my t.v."

Eli tucked his lips, eyes just twinkling with foolery. "For educational purposes."

"2K is not educational."

"There's no need for blasphemy," Eli replied. "And, for your edification, I'm trying to give our son a complete New Edition education without having to take him to a concert two states away. Or do you want him to keep messing up the moves to Candy Girl?"

"You need my t.v. for that?"

"…Yes."

"Mess."

"Made you smile though. Didn't I?"