Chapter Forty-two: Something that I already Know
He drove quietly down the street, the radio turned off so he didn't have to listen to the news reports. He should have know that the city would be abuzz with the word of a dead cop. It made him sick to see all the people watching the news, held captivated by the story that he just could not bare to hear anymore. But he tried to look on the bright side of things, knowing that they were now starting to get somewhere on the case. Thanks to Speed's attempt to escape they were able to locate an old abandoned building deep in the everglades. Probably a camp for hunters years ago. They raided the place in hopes of retrieving Hagen and Jesup. Only neither the detective nor the officer was inside the building. What they did manage to find was evidence of stockpiled firearms, possibly even the makings of a bomb. And then, in a back room, they found a battery operated lantern and blood. Without even testing the blood they knew it belonged to Hagen and Jesup. To Speed. Actually locating the place, stepping into that room, gave them a sense of what their fallen comrades were going through. It also gave them a glimpse of how Speed made his brave escape in an effort to get help.
It made everything real, brought that reality crashing back down to earth.
This was really happening.
He pulled his truck into driveway, killed the engine, wasted no time in climbing out in the Miami morning. A blanket of clouds to the west threatened an afternoon of thunderstorms but he didn't care. There were other things on his mind, the weather all the way at the bottom of his list. As he walked toward the front door he resisted the urge to look around, focusing entirely on what he was doing. He waited less than a minute after knocking on the door before Horatio opened.
"Hey," he said, his voice low, even.
Horatio stepped back to invite him in. Over the years he'd been to his boss's house numerous times. Very few people realized just how close knit they were in the lab. The investigators, the lab techs, the detectives, they were all family. They had to trust each other with their lives and that brought them closer. Horatio closed the door behind him. When Delko turned to face him he was straightening the collar of his shirt. Horatio Caine, always impeccably dressed for work. Delko wondered often how his boss managed to wear a suit in the unbearable heat of Miami's summers. And he wondered even more so if his boss noticed how much Ryan wanted to be like him, wearing suits in the hot weather when he didn't have to.
"Everything is set. You shouldn't have any problems," Horatio said as he retrieved his keys from a table in the small foyer. "If by chance there is a problem, give me a call. If it's a big problem, they're out there watching."
"Okay. Let me know if you guys need any help at the lab," he said as Horatio pulled the door open again. This time he stepped out into the sun.
Looking back over his shoulder he said, "I'll call when I'm on my way back so as not to surprise you. Be careful, Delko," he said, his blue eyes searching those of his younger friend. "Please."
"I will, promise."
And like that he was left in foyer, Horatio having closed the door, on his way to work at the lab. For three days Delko had been waiting for this moment, this chance to be here and now he wasn't so sure it was what he wanted anymore. It had been a long time since he'd felt the familiar fluttering of nervous butterflies in his stomach. Almost akin to the feelings he experienced in high school. Or all those times when he…He forced that through from his mind, not wanting to think of that day outside the lab when he sat in the grass with Speed, the sun shining down upon them, Speed's newly acquired dog running around nearby. As if reading his mind Mite came padding out of the living room, his tail wagging lazily as he walked over to Delko. He couldn't resist the dog, reaching out to pat him on the head. Then he headed into the kitchen to grab a soda out of the fridge. Mite followed him, lying down on the cool tile of the kitchen floor.
Delko looked up sharply as he heard the sound of another person. For three days he had wanted nothing more than this moment and he found himself choked by emotion. He took a nervous sip of the soda in an attempt to move the lump forming in his throat. It must have worked because he heard himself say, "Morning."
His companion simply grumbled.
"You look like shit," Delko said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"I feel like shit so thanks for confirming it for me."
"More than welcome. I do so love to be of help."
"So do I and that's why I feel the need to inform you that you also look like shit. What's up? Some girl decide to dump you for a hottie with a body and no mind?"
"Nice to see you acting like yourself," Delko remarked, taking the barb in stride. He watched as his companion shuffled into the kitchen. Watched as he stumbled, grabbing the counter for support. "Speed," the concern thick in his voice. Without thinking he went to him, his soda forgotten on the counter he'd been leaning against. All that mattered to him at that moment was his friend. He took hold of Speed's left arm, placed his other hand on Speed's right hip, all in an attempt to help steady him. A static of heat buzzed through him.
Three days, going on more like two weeks since they had taken Speed, and all that Delko wanted to do was be with him. Seeing him out there on the road in the everglades, so motionless, so…almost like he was dead. That had broken his heart, shattered it into many tiny pieces. Having to stay away while Speed was in the hospital and then secreted away to Horatio's house where he'd been these last three days sleeping in the guest bedroom. Just about everyone in Miami thought the body pulled out of the everglades that day belonged to a fallen officer. But that was their way of covering up Speed's survival. Let the militia group think that had won this round. As far as anyone knew Delko was only at the house to keep an eye on Mite. Outside, hidden around the neighborhood, were agents from the Federal government. They still hadn't taken complete control of the case, the agent in charge having been impressed with the lab's record, but they wanted to make sure that their guys were watching Speed. For days Delko had to deal with only hearing about how Speed was doing through Horatio. Now he finally got to see him, got to hold him. He could feel those tiny shards of his shattered heart slowly piecing themselves back together. What would he have done without Speed?
Seeing Speed lying on the ground, blood soaked into his shirt, dried blood covering the bruises on his face, he figured his friend dead. When he got the report with the others from Horatio how serious the wounds were he found himself on precarious footing. He wanted to be happy while at the same time he wanted to start crying. In the short time that they had him they'd done a really number on him, beating him. He had a black eye that became extensive bruising over his cheek. There had been dried blood in his ear on that side which had the doctors concerned. In the end they found he had a mild concussion, and they were still unsure if the slight hearing loss would be temporary or long term. Two ribs were broken clean through while a third was cracked. There were countless soft tissue injuries that would need icing over the course of days to keep the pain at bay.
But there were two things in specific that had the doctors concerned, two things that made it so Horatio or someone else was always with Speed, watching him.
One of those was his spleen. According to the news he heard from Horatio that night Delko knew they were worried about internal bleeding. The beating given to Speed had been that awful. They rushed him through the CT scan to make sure, found nothing but a slight discoloration around the spleen. They were unable to tell if it was merely bruising to the surrounding tissue or a slow bleed. Horatio passed along to Delko the symptoms he needed to keep a look out for that could very well mean there was a slow bleed killing their friend.
The other concern was his previous gunshot wound. The healing had been going so well that the doctors okayed Speed's return to work. But the beating sent them backtracking, the tissue damaged once again. The blood soaked into his shirt came from the torn skin, the wound reopened. They worried that previously healed tissue re-damaged would lead to a long list of complications.
They sent Speed home after keeping him in the hospital for a short time with strict guidelines that he was to spend most of his day, three fourths in fact, in bed. Delko knew that in two days Speed would be back in the hospital for a follow-up exam, he hoped that it remained nothing more than a follow-up.
And now, as he stood there in Horatio's kitchen looking at the battered love of his life he felt a numbing ache in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't even begin to imagine the amount of pain that Speed was in. He wanted to take it all away, make everything better. It didn't seem fair to him that Speed should have to go through this pain once again. Had he not just spent months cooped up in his apartment as he healed from a bullet that should have ended his life?
"Let go of me, Eric," he said. "I don't need you to hold me. I don't need you guys to baby me."
Delko frowned, wondering where the sudden anger came from. "Excuse me for being concerned. I care about you."
"Tell me something I don't know," remarked Speed. Despite his protests to be let go he made not attempt to free himself from Delko's grip. Something inside of Delko seemed to snap or maybe it clicked but for once, without fear, he found himself leaning toward Speed, into him. He brought their lips together and felt another rush of heat, this time starting in his toes and quickly working its way up his entire body until he felt he was going to be consumed by the fire inside. A second later Speed broke the kiss by turning his face to the side. He couldn't bring himself to look up. "Don't…just…don't."
When Speed turned to go Delko made no attempt to stop him, watching as the man he loved shuffled painfully back to the solitary comfort of Horatio's guest bedroom. The next thing he knew he was sitting on the floor, his back pressed up against the cabinets. Mite came over and laid his head in Delko's lap with a soft whimper.