A/N: FTW, in all definitions of the acronym. I'm so happy I've gotten this far and even if I don't get as many reviews as the others, this still is epic to write and I have fun with it. It is only my first serious fic, so, I have time to improve. Thank you so much to all who read, enjoy and support. Here, I present to you, chapter eleven.
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.
The bell sounded, signaling the end of recess for the school's students. Dib sighed and wiped his face on his sleeve and made his way back to class, his mind a wreck. He didn't concentrate much in class while Miss Bitters muttered, ranted and screamed her insensate falsehoods. While others took notes, Dib was busy scribbling, doodling, watching the world outside. What a detestable sight it was, he thought disgustedly. He'd never noticed it much before, but now that he'd been focused more on Zim, and not saving the world from Zim, he saw it's ugliness more clearly. He was being dragged to the opposing side of the war, and he found himself reluctantly allowing it. It was better than being with his own kind who never truly and deeply understood his brain or just he as a person. They labeled him crazy for his theories, they pitied or abused him. They were all unintelligent people with no real hope but what they saw before them. Blinded by food and television, was the human race. Dib's mind raced with thoughts so pulsing, so rapid and raucous that he hadn't heard or seen anyone leave until Miss Bitters screeched in his face to leave school grounds.
On his lonesome walk home, he thought he saw and heard metallic wailing, green glimpses of flesh, maniacal laughter or bright red eyes. All were in his imagination.
Gaz ignored him as he walked in the door and headed upstairs to his room. He didn't even care to watch Mysterious Mysteries, which Gaz found slightly cool and slightly alarming at the same time. However, not alarming enough to confront him with her worries for her brother. Something serious had to happen before she would ever allow that to happen. And since her brother had really nothing to really become alarmed about, Gaz found it pointless to even be pondering about him in the first place. Her stupid, whiny, wimpy, useless, insane, lump of a brother, she thought with seething hatred and underlying love.
Dib's head was pounding with all the thinking he was doing. It was rare for him to get headaches before, but wither he'd taken a break from thinking insane amounts everyday, or he'd doubled or was reaching maximum thought process everyday and every night. He wondered what Zim was doing. He wondered what might be happening to poor Gir while he wasn't around. He wondered what Zim was plotting underground that he wouldn't allow him to worry about. Dib wondered...why he was wondering. Why was he taking all of these little details into consideration in the first place? Thinking back on the day, at recess when all those kids had sang and danced and followed him, encouraging his love, the answer should be obvious to even him with his large cranium, capable of pretty much any thought imaginable. So then why was he racking his brain to no avail; with no logical answer? It wasn't like him at all, and he wondered if he might have caught something, or if Zim had infused him with some alien, mutant disease while he slept. It wouldn't be the first time Zim had tried to kill him, and he wasn't below biological warfare.
Dib now hated the urge to walk. He used to love night strolls when he couldn't sleep or just to help him keep thinking. Now it was like a death sentence. It was almost like Zim was drawing him nearer without ever actually saying or doing anything. Love was a bitch and a pain in the ass. All those love songs were right on the dot when they said that love was a powerful emotion. Especially when you're not even aware it has you in its grip. Dib cursed his ignorance of love.
Putting on his boots and zipping up his jacket, he murmured to Gaz that he'd be out for a walk and not to wait up for him. Gaz grunted in response. Dib stepped out into the chilled night air and took a deep breath. Relaxing. He looked around and started walking, knowing exactly where his feet would lead him.
Dib sat down at the usual spot, hidden from view of the public and Zim, and listened to the song playing form within. It was soft, and slow, clashing harshly to the beat of his heart and mind.
"I hate the way you walk
Hate the way you talk
Hate the way you look at me
I hate the way you smile
Hate those big brown eyes
Cause I know they're not for me
Cause we can never be
More than friends
And it hurts me
Every time I close my eyes
All I see is you
(Chorus)
And this crazy love
Crazy love
Oh, this crazy love
Crazy love
I hate thinkin' of you
cause every time i do
I just keep on missing you
and I hate the way I feel
every time your near
cause its feels like time is standing still
but we can never be
More than friends
And it hurts me
Every time I close my eyes
All I see is you
(Chorus)
and this crazy love
crazy love
oh this crazy love
crazy love
I hate it when you're blue
And how I cared for you
Hate the way my heart desires
And I hate those sleepless nights
And the pain I kept inside
But I keep on
Pretending it's alright
but we can never be
more than friends
and it hurts me
every time i close my eyes
all I see is you
(chorus)
And this crazy love
Crazy love
Oh, this crazy love
Crazy love
I don't know what to do
Hate me for loving you
Cause I know it's wrong for
Me to say....
I love you..."
Dib had to wipe away a tear as he listened. It suited his mood perfectly. How was it that Zim could read him like no one else could? Why was his sworn enemy his best and only friend? Why was fate so screwed up? Dib might never fully understand and that was fine by him. All he knew was that he needed Zim in his life, for without that green invader, he might have really gone insane and lost his will long ago. That's right.....Zim was...really his only reason for living. That thought brought even more tears to his eyes and made his heart race even faster.
Now the question was, did he go and confront Zim with these feelings, or should he wait? What should he do, he was too confused and weakened by these emotions and by all of his thinking, that he couldn't even move. It was late now, and he should be heading back home. Even when he was able to move and had control of his whole body once again, he couldn't seem to summon the will to stand up and walk away from Zim's oddly-shaped house. The wind blew especially harshly after awhile, and that was enough to get Dib to stand and look back at the house. It seemed empty enough; only the light of the television Gir was probably staring at lit the room and leaked luminance to the darkened outside world.
Was Zim aware of his presence? Was he laughing? That thought made Dib frown and doubt himself for a moment. "Probably." He mumbled softly before looking at the sidewalk beneath his feet. A wolf howled somewhere off in the distance. He sighed and kicked a pebble. He'd give it some more thought. With that decided, he ran quickly back home, for it was quite late and quite cold outside.
With Zim, he sat on the couch, watching the reflection of Dib's glasses as he stood close enough to the street light to be given away, but not realizing it. One of the smartest humans he'd ever come to encounter, and yet one of the most simple and easy to read. Also, the most tender-hearted and insecure. It pained his heart to watch him go, but he had to keep his word, or Dib would surely abandon him forever. Zim did not like the cold, for that was the reason he did this. To end the cold and find the warmth that others had. Yes, one could say that Zim was jealous; very jealous. Without realizing it, though, he had been suckered into this love, just as Dib was now. He had no clue in the world until it was too late. Thanks to this wonderful heart of his and this newly discovered emotion, she had decided to come forward and help him on his mission.
Yes...she was the one. She was why this was going so well, Zim had to credit her. Zim didn't like it, but if it weren't for her, he admitted mentally, Dib would still be as clueless as he was in the first place and Zim would still be as angry and as brash....as stupid and miscalculating. Zim could most definitely say that she was the reason for his success as an invader and for his maturing.
Why, you're asking then, is she not the object of Zim's heart molested affection?
Because she is a demon.
This, she -in theory-, was Zim's worst enemy. Dib had been, but once that role had changed and she had come up to bat, she knocked both Dib and Tak both out of the water. But they say that the best of friends are made under the worst circumstances. She was, in fact Zim's best friend and worst enemy. She had what he was looking for in a companion, except one vital thing. This, will be brought up better, for it is not, readers, important at this time in our plot.
However, what is important, is the origins of this, "she," and why she is such an important piece to his game. She, was a scientist and knew all the background on everyone, all the invaders, even the Tallests. She worked undercover, she worked behind the scenes and had all the stage directions. She followed orders, but from whom will remain unclear until further on.
She was powerful, and that's why Zim liked her and that's why, she was helping him. There was also something to be gained from her aiding Zim in his quest of romance. Oh yes, a very large reward to be gained from this. One she desperately wanted. Zim would be willing to give it to her, and then it would be her problem, and then....well, then they could start anew all by themselves. Dib wouldn't appreciate it....but after all was said and done, everyone would have what they wanted, no one would be hurt, and no one would need to know about anything.
Yes, that would be a good start. Imagined and in dreams, it would become reality, Zim would...yes....he would...
It will all fall together. That's what Zim was determined to have happen. He would fight anything that prevented and hinder him from reaching that goal. That one goal...for the greater good. Ironic, that our antagonist of the old story would be striving for something good. Usually, that would be Dib's line. But things had changed. Numerous minute details had been altered to change the bigger picture.
"Ama me fideliter,
fidem meam nota,
de corde totaliter
et ex mente tota,
sum presentialiter
alens in remota;
quisquis amat taliter,
volvitur in rota."*
Sun rises and birds chirp, rising the world from its slumber, and with it, the sorrows and realities of the harsh, cruel day. Night was what he loved and he refused to wake up to the bright piercing sound in his ear. Persistent, it was, and so he was forced to awaken and face it all. Dib was pissed.
Slowly rising from his bed, he walked to the bathroom and washed his face. He sighed and put his glasses on. Dressed and prepared for school in under ten minutes, he slipped down to the table to eat breakfast with his sister. Gaz eyed him carefully before concluding that her brother had taken on a less optimistic outlook on life today. That was alarming, and she decided to voice her concern in the best way she knew how.
"What is wrong with you today?"
Dib looked over at his sister, who munched away on her cereal and not even looking at him. He shrugged and shoved cereal into his own mouth. Swallowing, he opened his mouth again to respond. "Just not feeling like me today, Gaz. I've been thinking recently." She scoffed at the answer, almost laughing. When was her idiot brother ever not thinking. Dib smiled, "just about things with Zim and how it's been quite for awhile now. I know he's up to something." He said characteristically. Gaz's lip twitched into somewhat of a half smirk before it died away.
"So why don't you just go confront him about it? Make a lot of stupid noise and make up a plan like you always do. Idiot."
Dib's smile broadened as his little sister's concern stung him in the eyes. He realized what she meant. She was one of the few people who could understand him, even if she played she didn't or didn't want to. He could read her, and understand her better than even their own father. Sure, she was scary as hell all the time, but he still loved his little sister, just like she loved her older brother. It was hard to understand at a glance, but if you looked and study them enough, it was clear as day. It was a, 'duh,' situation. Spending all that time together? Living alone together with an almost negligent parent? Yes, they were indeed close, there was no question.
Gaz finished and got down from her chair, shoving Dib's face into his cereal. "Don't rush, stupid. Come on, we're gonna be late for school." Dib sputtered and sighed. Good old Gaz. Contradictory and evil as always.
After cleaning up and putting the dishes in the sink, he met her outside and they walked to school like always, as if nothing had changed at all.
SQUEE! I hope I did well enough. I tried to bring Gaz to light and I hope she was in character enough. I hate doing OOC but it's important for Zim's part. Is Dib being better? I hope so.
And, yes, Zim can speak Latin. FTW in all meanings of the acronym, huh? I thought it would be intriguing, so I allowed it. Please, let me know what you think. Much love, Yaoiholic28. And the song is, Crazy Love by Kim Chiu. Translation of the poem is written below.
*Love me faithfully,
Taking heed of my loyalty,
With all your heart,
With all your mind.
I am closest to you
When I am far away;
Whoever loves like this
Rides on the wheel (of Fortune).
From Carmina Burana (Omnia sol temperat)