Chapter 5

Mariah couldn't sleep that night at Craig's apartment all she could think about was Craig and his offer to have her live with him. She could still see the smile on his face clearly. She smiled life without Krista and Ashley, it would be perfect, she wouldn't have to put up with the pain and abuse anymore, she knew Craig loved her and cared about her, not near as much as Ava and Carl but he saw an opportunity to be her parent and make up for the years he wasn't there. She smiled at that thought; she then remembered Craig's father's words "face it your just like me, with your short patience, she would make you mad, you would beat her in a minute."

I then remembered when he shook me it must have been his bipolar disorder acting up.

Flashback

"Mariah. She hasn't beat you has she?. You wouldn't lie to me about that will you?" he yelled at me as he began to shake me. I then freaked out and backed up and yelled "Craig you're scaring me!" he shook me just because he got worked up.

Then I remembered the fight with Craig and his father, it was burned into my brain he hit me and I passed out, I could hear Craig yelling at him, I could hear the punches, then I heard the car's horn blow and by my understanding by then his father was dead. I was conscience enough to hear it all, but not enough to wake up and do something about it.

It was clear, Craig was not fully over his disorder, and as long as things are calm he could control it, but when something makes him mad or upset he breaks loose, the question came to my mind would it be good for either of us for me to move in, could Craig really handle this change? What if his father was right, when he would get stressed or upset, would he take it out on me? Would he hit me or hurt me? It's not just my happiness I have to worry about, it's my safety. Those thoughts and questions ran through my head. Sure I know I don't deserve the misery back home, but am I going to risk him hurting me? I took a breath as I put my covers back on and drifted off to sleep.

I could hear the light be turned on as someone was shaking me I opened my eyes and leaned up putting my hair up in a clip as I saw Craig smiling at me "rise and shine Mariah, get dressed we have a big day ahead of us!" he said grinning at me.

I looked at him, and arched my eye brow "what do you mean?"

"Were going back to Toronto, to get your stuff, your moving here with me, where you should have been all along." He said excited.

I got up and looked up at him "I haven't even made my decision; this is a big deal Craig."

He then put his hands on my shoulders "you're not going back there Mariah, I'm not letting you get beat, you deserve better so much better," Craig screamed.

I shook my head" I don't want to go back there either."

"Then you're moving in, it's the only other option, your my daughter you need your father, and I need you in my life…I love you Mariah, my love for you as a parent never died I still worried and wondered about you, you know I want what's best for you."

I took a breath "Craig, you have your own life now, you're an artist living your dream, if it wasn't for me being gone, you wouldn't be where you are, do you really want to risk ruining that part of your life?"

Craig smiled " I would take it all back to have you here, Manny made the decision to give you away, not me I wanted to keep you Mariah," he said hugging me.

I backed away "Craig, things are moving too quickly, I just met you and you need to expect me jump up and move in with you, clearly your bi polar, you can't handle change well all of a sudden having someone to take care of when you're adjusted to being on your own and having no responsibilities what if you…" I then whispered "slip up like you did with your dad?"

Craig started to breathe deeply as he clinched his fist "I would never hit you Mariah I am nothing like him!" he screamed knocking over a glass.

"Can't you see Craig, right then it was a glass, next it could be me," I screamed.

Ellie then ran into Mariah's room " I heard something break, what's going on?"

I then grabbed my stuff " I don't think its best that I live here, he has problems to deal with himself before he can have me live here."

Craig shook his head "no please, my life is coming together because your back in it you can't leave," he pleaded.

I then walked towards the door and stopped as she turned around "I'm sorry Craig, I can't do this" she then walked out as she shut the door she turned around and saw none other than Manny Santos.

Manny looked at me "I have been trying for five minutes to bring myself to ring that doorbell..i understand if you don't want to, but can we talk?"

I put on a fake smile "sure let's talk."

We began to walk down the street and we sat down on a bench "you have the right to know why I acted the way I did it's not because I don't love you Mariah it's because I do love you."

Her heart began to ache as she started to tell the story "your father and I didn't have the best relationship and we were both young I was fourteen he was fifteen my mother didn't even want me to have you, but Craig had been through a lot his mother died, his father was abusive, he didn't have a family, he wanted to keep you because you were his own."

"I was thinking of myself of having a career and doing what I want in my life, I knew two teenage parents were not the best for you, neither of us were stable, it would only make your life miserable, I honestly thought I could give you up easily..."

"Until I had you, and saw your beautiful face when I held you..." her voice then began to crack "I didn't want to let you go."

"Then I met Ava and Carl and heard their story, they were wonderful people I knew I couldn't ask for you my daughter to go to anyone better, but it doesn't mean that it didn't hurt me."

"All I did was think about you, where you were? Did Ava and Carl treat you well? Were you happy? I would stay up all night curled up in a ball shaking and crying because I missed you, and wanted you there with me, I got attached to you."

" I emailed Ava telling her how I felt, she sent back pictures in every one your smiling laughing and happy ensuring me that you were okay and I could tell you made them happy, for months after I got pictures of you and videos and then I got to the point to where I finally accepted that you had your own life and I let you live your life, the emails kept coming but I quit looking at them I knew you were no longer mine, I was never going to see you again so I lived my life."

"Then I saw you yesterday for the first time in fifteen years, yesterday that hurt and attachment came rushing back the second I looked into your eyes, the flashback of me giving you up kept playing in my head, I knew if I tried to build a relationship with you not even a parental relationship even just you being in my life, I was scared I would end up hurting you especially cause you couldn't stay forever and eventually you will have to go back to your home, that's why I acted like I did if I didn't let myself get attached by having nothing to do with you, you could go home and be happy without worrying about me, I knew if I got close to you, I wouldn't let you go this time, and I would only hurt us all if I did that."

"It hurt me Manny.. you acted like you hated me or were ashamed of me," I whispered

She pulled me into a hug "never it just hurt me that I had to let you go, believe me I am so proud of you and who you have become I love you so much Mariah but I hate it that I can't call you mine, I gave up all rights to you and I can never get them back.

I stood up and looked at her "Craig wants me to live with him," I whispered.

Manny shook her head "legally you can't, your underage and you're not even supposed to have contact with us, that was part of our agreement when we gave you up."

I nodded "I know Manny but Craig had his heart sat on me living with him but I see how easily he gets violent and I can't risk that."

Tears started falling down her eyes "Mariah, I would love for you to live with me but I'd have to fight with your parents and Ava and Carl are such great people I couldn't do it."

Tears began to fall down my eyes "mom and dad died a long time ago, I live with my dad's girlfriend Krista."

Manny then looked as she noticed the bruises on her "Mariah, where are those from?"

"Krista she beats me, but it's no big deal."

Manny shook her head "then you don't need to be there."

I shook my head "then where can I go?"

Manny put her hand on her shoulder "I wont stop until I find somewhere for you to live, because…" she then took a breath "no daughter of mine is going to get beat."

TO BE CONTINUED!

Sorry it took so long, my computer has been messed up and I just got it fixed. Thank you guys so much for the support and being so patient, College is going to begin soon so please be patient Review please let me know what you think good or bad.

Love you guys, Countrygirl19