"Oh, great," Maryse complained, clutching her head and lower back. "My headache is back. And what's worse is that my back hurts just as bad." Her, along with Eve and Natalya were about a mile or two from the Wal-Mart wreckage and the pain they felt when they hit the ground as a result of the explosion remained intact.
"Just be lucky we're still alive," Natalya said. "The explosion could've burned all three of us alive. This pain is nothing."
"I agree with Nattie on this," Eve agreed, clutching her left shoulder in pain. "I can handle a little aching as long as I don't wind up dead. It could've been a lot worse. That being said, I can barely move my arm right now. And blood is literally flowing out of it."
"I see your pain, Eve," Nattie said, raising her bloody forearm.
"You two hit the ground really hard, didn't you?" Maryse asked. They actually hit the ground more than hard seeing as Eve's shoulder landed on a blade of glass and Natalya forearm slide hard against the ground.
"The answer is obvious," Natalya sighed. "The point is: this is what warriors are made of."
"It's also what projectile vomiting is caused by" Maryse joked, covering her mouth with her arm and trying to look away from the bruise on Nattie's arm. "How are you gonna take care of that?"
Before Nattie could answer the question, Eve tapped Nattie on the shoulder. "Hey, look, there's a grocery store. Maybe they have bandages or people or something."
"As long as it doesn't have another exploding index card, I say we check it out," Natalya said. The three ladies then walked to the store – simply titled "Store" – hoping to find some kind of salvation from the craziness happening to them now. When they got in, a HUGE gust of air could be felt from all directions. The place definitely had a mass amount of air conditioning. It was really small, almost similar in interior appearance to a Walgreens.
The ladies dispersed into separate portions of the store with Eve and Natalya looking for something to heal their injuries. Maryse disappeared and went off to read some tabloids.
"So, do you have any guesses as to what could be going on?" Eve asked Nattie, scaling the shelves lined with bandages boxes and other medical products.
"Eh, much like a kid with a chemistry exam, I'm just as confused as you are," Nattie said as she took care of her bruise with a jar of Vaseline and a huge bandage from a box found at the end of the aisle. "But, hey, I didn't have time to read the note before it exploded. I'm assuming you did."
"Yeah, I did. Apparently, including you, Maryse and I were supposed to find three other Divas and save the other Divas and the division as a whole. I personally think it may be the Bellas playing a trick on us again."
"Impossible. Not even they could come up with the idea of exploding index cards." Eve nodded in agreement. "So someone wants to sabotage our division. 'Why?' is the question." Just then, Maryse came running toward them with the latest issue of People in hand open to page 7.
"I hope I'm still as sexy as Jennifer Aniston is when I'm her age," she said, leaning in to show Eve a picture of the A-Lister. "See how gorgeous she is?"
"Oh, she can rock a swimsuit," Eve said. Natalya wasn't interested in seeing how Jennifer Aniston can stand out on a beach. She still wanted to know who was trying to sabotage them. "Are you gonna buy this issue or something?"
"I dunno," Maryse answered. "Is anyone at the register?"
"I dunno," Eve said. "I haven't seen anyone but us since we've been in here. If someone is supposed to be at the register, they're either on break or on strike." Eve told Nattie that she and Maryse will be back as they went to find other people.
It was like Zombieland: no one was around.
No one was behind the counter, either. "Wow. No one is here." Maryse said before spinning her eyes in all directions curiously. "So basically…everything in here is ours for the taking!" Immediately, Maryse decided to grab a bag from the back of the store and fill it with any items she found that she desired. Meanwhile, Eve went back to spill the news to Nattie.
"I saw that coming," was Nattie's response. "I came to the conclusion that no one else is around about 5 minutes ago. Where'd Maryse go?"
Eve shrugged. "The hell if I know. Probably on a shopping spree seeing as everything in here is basically free seeing as no one is around."
Suddenly, they heard the sound of a gun cock. "So I guess I count as no one?" Eve and Nattie turned around to see a tall brunette woman in a pair of shorts and a blue jean jacket that exposed a strapless black bra. She had on a pair of boots the length of the ones Maryse wore to the ring. And she also had her gun pointed in Eve and Nattie's direction. "How did you get here?"
Nattie and Eve's faces told stories of fear. "The front door," Eve answered, heart beating rapidly.
"That's not what I meant," the brunette screamed. But upon looking at them, she instantly recognized them. "Wait. I know you two. Eve and Natalya."
"You know us?" Nattie asked.
"Why, yes, I do. You two are WWE Divas," she responded. "Which is actually sad news for you, because…" she then cocked the gun again. "I'm gonna have to destroy the two of you" Eve and Nattie's mouths hung wide open in terror that these could be their last seconds. However, out of nowhere, Maryse came around the corner and accidentally knocked the woman down, causing her to accidentally pull the trigger and miss her target. As the weapon dropped to the floor, the bullet shot a nearby mirror instead. The woman then kicked Maryse in the stomach for her miscalculation and ran to retrieve her weapon. But before she could, Eve jumped in and grabbed the gun instead, running and tossing it into the next aisle afterwards.
"NO!" the woman screamed. Infuriated, she took a swing at the Diva, but missed. The two then went back and forth, meaning that a 3-on-1 battle was greatly ahead of them. The exchange ended, though, when Eve connected to the woman with a kick to the gut.
"You just made a huge mistake," she said, clutching her stomach from the kick. "Ladies, get out here!" From the back of the store, two blonde ladies – similar in height to the brunette – emerged. One of the girl's hair was shorter shoulder length while the other one's hair went down to her back. They looked like something out of a Victoria's Secret magazine. They were seemingly ready to fight.
"You gotta be kidding me," Eve said. "Who are these two?"
"It doesn't matter!" the brunette villainess yelled. "Just know that we're gonna be responsible for your demise." The ladies then got into a fight stance. Meanwhile, across from them, Natalya and Maryse join Eve and the three formed a fight stance of their own. The fight was on.
The perfect mood music aired over the store speakers, too as the latest Paramore song came on as the Divas picked which lady to take on. Natalya took on the leader, shoving her over a counter of magazines.
Maryse took on the short-haired blonde who was wearing black spandex tights and a bra. Her midriff was exposed, revealing 3 tattoos on her torso. Meanwhile, Eve took on a woman with the long blonde hair and hazel eyes, wearing a full red spandex suit reminiscent of Britney Spears' "Oops, I Did It Again" video.
Maryse seemed to get an early advantage over her opponent as she opened fire on her midsection with a barrage of kicks. However, her opponent was able to grab her leg during a kick attempt; she then elbowed her in the knee and then again in the face. She then slammed Maryse's head against a shelf of children's fragile dollar-store toys.
In Eve's fight, her opponent had caught her in a sleeperhold, but Eve was able to toss her over her shoulder and attempt an armbreaker. It was reversed when her opponent rolled her up into a schoolgirl pin attempt, but let go because this wasn't actually a match. When the ladies got back to their feet, Eve went for a right hand, but her opponent ducked and then kicked her into the back, driving her into the counter. She then banged her head against the counter, rendering Eve dazed.
Natalya's seemed to have no problem with her fight until her opponent sprayed an unknown liquid into Nattie's eyes and was then tossed into the racks of candy lined against the aisle they had been in. The back of Nattie's head hit one of the racks hard, but nothing too severe. She then saw her opponent trying to get away, but she was able to tackle her to the ground before she could make a getaway. However, she struggled out and made her way to the magazine aisle of the store.
Meanwhile, in the rear of the store, Maryse's opponent had begun to fight as dirty as Maryse usually did in the ring, grabbing a nearby baseball bat and taking direct aim at Maryse's long legs. After five brutal shots, Maryse landed hard on the floor, but was able to avoid getting wacked in the face with the bat by rolling out of the way and grabbing a bat of her own.
Eve's fight had spilled all the way to the frozen food aisle, where the blondie attempted to stab the Diva with whatever kitchen utensil she could find, but failed with every attempt. Eve was even more fortunate to toss her opponent into a glass door in the frozen food aisle. Her mistake, however, was going over to finish her off. As she grabbed the hurting blonde by the hair, she received a headbutt, followed by a kick to the gut, sending her tumbling backward into a stack of Cinnamon Toast Crunch boxes.
Natalya's fight had spilled all the way into the magazine aisle, where her opponent foolishly tossed magazine after magazine to the floor, hoping to slip up the pink-donning Diva. Alas, she failed with that plan and resorted to a rather ridiculous Plan B when Natalya came toward her. "Stand back! Don't make me use this!" she threatened, holding out a J-14. "I'm serious. I will give you papercuts for days!"
Natalya couldn't help but to silently laugh at her for it was literally the stupidest threat she had ever received in her entire life. It was even dumber than when the Bella Twins threatened to make her cat, Gizmo, listen to "Friday" by Rebecca Black on repeat if she didn't attend their birthday party. "Seriously," she said, hands on her hips. "That's the best you can do?" The leader was clearly showing fear as she was all out of ideas and the chances of her getting her gun back wasn't looking good.
"Oh, yeah," she said, literally quaking in her leather boots. "Well…I'd like to see you do better…"
Nattie gleamed a pretty smile. "Oh, don't mind if I do!" With that, she extended a fist and punched the woman square in the nose before dropping her for a Sharpshooter. Natalya automatically considered this woman to be a very weak leader as she heard her scream in pain from the Sharpshooter like a little kid who desperately craves a lollipop.
Maryse and her opponent were using their bats like swords, and even though Maryse wasn't much of a swordsmith, she was holding her own in the fight. However, her all wasn't enough as her opponent flung Maryse's bat away before elbowing her in the face, sending her to the floor once again. "And now, it's time for me to end you," she declared, standing over her. "For the good of the league!" She then lifted her bat over her head, signaling the end for the Diva. But luckily for Maryse, that was not what happened as another baseball bat intercepted the attack. And she was very happy to see the person who had saved her: another WWE Diva.
"Oh, I don't think so," a voice chimed. Who did the voice belong to? Maryse instantly recognized it to belong to…Melina. She was able to swat the blondie's bat away, as well as pull off one of her trademark slaps to the face before tossing her from shelf to shelf, leading them to the counter in the front of the store, where she then sent her flying over.
Meanwhile, Eve almost suffered the same fate that Maryse almost suffered. Luckily, she was able to hit her opponent in the face twice and muster enough strength to roll her over and off of her. She then grabbed a nearby wet floor sign – which must've been conveniently placed because the floor wasn't wet at all – and hit the woman in the head with it. She then proceeded to bring her opponent over to the counter and toss her over into her comrade.
"Take that!" she gloated. "That's what happens when you mess with Eve Torres: An Eve-alicious ass-kicking…I should trademark that." Her celebration was awkwardly cut short, however, when she noticed Melina standing next to her. "Melina? Oh, my god, where'd you come from?"
Before Melina could answer, Natalya came running at full force, clutching the leader's long brown locks and tossing her over the counter with the other two girls. "Yeah, baby!" she yelled, feeling a huge moment of glory; in fact so huge that she decided to do a celebratory dance. She then looked around to see if anyone had seen her burst of joy; ultimately, Eve and Melina did. "Sorry you had to hear that."
Eve and Melina assured her it was alright as they had both gloated about their actions as well. "Thank goodness." So, Melina, where'd you come from?"
Melina placed her left hand on her hip. "Well, I'm not really sure how, but I actually woke up on the roof of this place." Eve and Nattie looked up as Melina pointed a finger to the ceiling. "I was too scared to scale the walls down this place. I'm not SpiderWoman. So I got down through the ventilation system.
"And I'm guessing that you're the second Diva we were supposed to find," Eve said, walking closer to Melina while kicking a pack of fallen Carmex to the side.
"What?" a puzzled Melina asked. Eve completely forgot they hadn't told Melina about the events back in the Wal-Mart, so she and Nattie filled her in on the entire story. "Wow. How did you girls remember all of that?"
"That's not important right now," Natalya said. "We gotta figure out who the fifth Diva is who – wait a minute. Have either of you seen Maryse anywhere?"
"She's always disappearing," Eve remarked, looking around or her.
"Did somebody call my name?" From behind a pyramid of Bounty paper towels, Maryse emerged holding her jaw from the elbow to the face. She was stumbling a little as well as a result of the bat shots taken to the knee. "Sorry, I would've been here sooner, but stumbling over spilled boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch is not easy. By the way, thank you, Melina.
Melina nodded a "you're welcome" to Maryse, who wanted to know what happened to the girls they'd been fighting. "They're over the counter right now," Melina pointed to the yellow-and–blue store counter as Natalya and Eve took a brief walk to a nearby aisle to get something.
When they came back, they both had thick, brown ropes in their hands. "Let's tie us up some bitches!" they said in unison. "And that's exactly what they did. With Melina and Maryse, they climbed over the counter and tied the three still-unnamed villainesses up together, tying them in knots that were harder to figure out than Inception.
"And this is why you girls should really join me when I go camping with my boyfriend," Melina said. "Cause then you learn how to tie knots like a boss!"
"Actually, Melina, for me, this is where a once prestigious summer of an internship at a hair salon comes in handy," Eve said, tying knot after complicated knot as if braiding hair. "You can learn a number of braiding and tying tips from an experience like that."
The ladies seemed very pleased with their work. "I don't think they'll be getting out of there anytime soon," Natalya said, rubbing her hands together. "We done good, Divas."
The villainesses, on the other hand, didn't seem to think so, as they tried to wrestle their way out of the knots, which were tight and inescapable. "You'll never get away with this! The A.D.A. will end you! You just…"Finally, Maryse had heard enough and shoved a bag of Harry Potter jellybeans into the leader's mouth and duct taped her lips shut.
"UGH! She's more annoying than myself on a good day!" Maryse blurted, stunning the other girls. They'd never heard her say anything even slightly negative about herself. "What? At least I can laugh at myself, OK?" The other Divas shrugged in agreement.
"Don't worry, Maryse," Eve said, touching Maryse's shoulder. "We still love you like the sister we never really asked for, but are glad to know anyway." It made Maryse's day to hear that.
"OK, back to business," said Natalya as the Divas climbed back over the counter. "We're in some deep trouuble here. We don't know our way around this town, there's likely not another soul within miles from here, we have no idea who the next Diva is we're supposed to find OR who's messing with us, and what's worse is that I think I have a slight wedgie from being in these tights so long." She could feel her undergarments giving her derriere a hard time.
"I understand how you feel there," Melina, who also wore tights as ring gear, started pulling at the rear of her tights, something she and none of the other Divas never did, not even in private, but this situation was clearly giving them a struggle. "I seriously hate these things right now."
Eve and Maryse, who were fortunate enough to compete in shorts rather than tights, just looked at them, not really sure how to respond, but since they respected Melina and Natalya, they didn't laugh or say anything. Maryse just went to grab the backpack she starting gathering stuff in and left with the rest of the girls out of the store, where immediately…an arrow almost shot Melina in the face. She luckily moved out of he way and suffered no damage.
The arrow had a note attached to it. "I'm not ready any more notes today," Eve threw her arms in the air. "It's someone else's turn this time." Natalya and Melina didn't volunteer, meaning that Melina would have to be the one to unhook the note from the arrow and read the message.
Melina tried to read it, but couldn't. "I can't understand this. Do any of you speak…is this Chinese or Japanese?" The other girls didn't know either ;anguage as well as she did. Melina flipped he page over and saw English writing on it. "Look up," she read. "What in the world does that even mean?"
All four Divas did as the note instructed and looked up…and the question was answered for them.