Leah woke suddenly to see that the room was only lit by candle light, there was no sign of Loki. She slowly and stiffly got out of bed still feeling tired. She just rubbed her face looking into the mirror, she saw how pale she looked in the mirror in front of her. She frankly looked ill, it was a little concerning but she just put it down to the what had happened the pass few days. She had not eaten properly and had felt like she had the weight of the world upon her shoulders it would had surely taken its toll on her body and possibly the child. She removed the rest of the pins that held her hair in place from the celebration days ago. Most of her hair had fallen out but she had been given no time to taken the pins and golden strands out. She brushed her hair allowing the long curls to hang on their own accord, she ran herself a bath waiting for Loki's return. As she sat in the warm water her mind drifted back to the dream she had, she remember many of her and Clint's evenings in. Where they actually spent time as brother and sister together when they weren't working. It was times like those she actually never really appreciated, it use to be something to do out of habit. Then the habit slowly got less and less as they got busier and busier. She hardly saw him before Loki's attack on earth and then afterwards everyone went there separate ways to recover. To be fair she was not particularly in the most of sociable moods afterwards as people only seemed to have questions about why Loki had taken her. That was the one things she regretted the most now, was not spending the time she had with him more often. She eventually got out of the bath tub as the water had began to cool with still no sigh of Loki she changed into a nightdress as her body protested being up and about.
She sat on the bed for a while rubbing her round stomach, she had hardly felt the baby move the pass couple of days since the braxton Hicks episode she went though. Not she was complaining, it meant there were no bruises for Loki to worry about. She found it strange that he was not here with her now, she knew that he was probably still trying to find out more from Thor or Helena about what happened on Earth. She looked about the room for a moment thinking before realizing that she had hardly anything of her own brought to Loki's chambers. Not that she had even asked them to be moved, everything seemed to be happening so fast now, she had hardly had time to even think about it. She knew that was all back in her own chambers waiting to be moved here on her request. She knew what she wanted to see to make sure she did in fact bring it, she let out a sighed wrapping a blanket around her before leaving the chambers. She padded bare foot down to her old room, it had been a while since she had been there. She went around the room lighting a few of the candles so there was ample light to find what she wanted. She slowly pulled her bag apart finding what she was looking for, letting out a sigh of relief once it was within her hands. She pulled out the envelope and looked at the collection of photos she had brought to Asgard with her. They were mainly ones of her and Clint, but there were the odd ones of Nat, Steve, Phil even one of Mathew and Penny's wedding. She looked through them quickly smiling at the memories of when each photo was taken came back to her, all of these photos were now so precious to her. Something that she would now treasure forever, considering it was all she had left to remind her of home. It was all she had to remind her of the people who she classed as family, who were now gone from her life.
She pulled the blanket closer around herself as a draft of cold air moved through the room, there was no fire lit in the room and she guessed no one had really been in here since she had moved to Loki's room. She pulled herself off the floor feeling uncomfortable, she got herself onto the bench by one of the windows wrapping herself up before studying the photos with greater detail. The guilt had started to properly set in, she had abandoned her brother in his time of need. He never got to see or hear her, only a letter which said everything and then again other people's version of what happened could influence what he thought. It was not the way she wanted this to happen at all, she just wanted to be able to explain what happened face to face.
She knew when she had been captured by the terrorists and taken to Budapest, she never gave up hope that her brother would find her. She in fact hung onto that thought so tightly it was the only thing that got her through the ordeal and pain she went through. Clint never gave up on her then, she didn't really expect him to now either, it didn't really surprise her that he looked for her. She knew she should have left a message with some one to stop him from doing it but there was really much time. She however had now been forced to give up on him, not being able to see him on her own terms at her. She had to leave Clint lying alone in a hospital bed, she was unable to see him again and how he was about to be told the way she chose to leave. She had abandoned him completely that was what caused her the most upset, that she was forced to leave him forever to make that choice.
It was not that she regretted her decision at all, she knew she had made the right choice there and then. She loved Loki with all her heart, soul and would give him everything she had, she could not see her life with out him in it now. He was definitely her future, the man who she wanted to spend the rest of her life however short or long that would be with. Then there was their baby, it needed its father and mother, both of them to teach it the value of life and its heritage. This was what she truly wanted in her life her and Loki, mother and father raising their child together. However happy that thought was it didn't fully help dull out the pain she still felt and it didn't make the guilt go away knew that this was going to take time, a lot of it for the pain to fade but it was never going to go anywhere. She let out a long sigh as all the thoughts she had flooded her tired mind. She just continued to look at each photo carefully as the evening came.
She must have fallen back to sleep as she woke in the morning with a jolt, she let out a gasp. Something had stirred her from her sleep, she was disoriented for a moment till she remembered when she was. The morning light had only just began to rise, she didn't know how long she had been here for or if Loki knew where she was, she knew if he thought she was missing he would only worry about her. She let out a long sigh still feeling a tired and lousy as she felt the night before, not really sure why considering how much she had slept the pass day.
She got up feeling the cramping between her legs and lower back, nothing painful just a little uncomfortable, she just groaned and stretched it out. She moved slightly feeling a dampness. Her hand went flying to her skirt, she grabbed it feeling the dampness on the material. Slowly she pulled her hands back looking at them to see that they were dripping with crimson blood. Her heart suddenly stopped this was not good at all. She slowly looked down to see her skirt was covered in blood, she turned to glance at the bench to see that had blood on it too. She felt the panic rise within her, this was not meant to happen.
"Oh god." She gasped as fear took over she just stood frozen to the spot before knowing that she needed to find Loki immediately.
She picked up on of her old cloaks wrapping around herself hiding the blood before moving as fast as she could back to Loki and her chambers. The pain got worse as she moved and she felt her bodies energy decrease, she knew something terrible was happening. She felt weaker with every step she took, it was harder to stay upright as she used the wall to support her as she continued to move. Finally getting to Loki's chambers she leaned against the wall outside their door, out of breath and her body feeling to heavy to raise a hand to open the door. She tried to call out but she was breathless and her body wouldn't allow it, she closed her eyes before sliding down and slumping against the wall falling into a state of unconsciousness.
Her eyes fluttered open, she couldn't move, her body frozen and still not her own. She squinted from the blinding golden light seeing shadows moving around above her. She couldn't focus properly upon them, she heard mumbling around her, a lot of people talking but not being able to focus on one voice. She felt completely disoriented and confused about what was happening to her. She could feel her body's powers keeping her barely alive, all the other times she had to regenerate it had never felt like this. It was like something was willing her to continue living, like she was unable to let go.
"How is she?" She finally heard the familiar voice, making her want to look up.
She tried to turn her head to see him but she couldn't, she couldn't even say anything. She tried her hardest but nothing happened she was trapped in her own mind. She just stayed where she was listening intently to see if the voice she loved said any more.
"If she dies brother, while I was in that box." She heard Loki growled dangerously, the anger just seeped through his voice. "If anything should happen to either of them I will kill you for what you have done."
She felt a wave of panic set over her not about talk of her death but she had heard that tone with Loki once before and she knew that danger it possessed. She prayed that this was only the moment talking, she did not want him doing anything which could cause him pain or suffering. Slowly her eyes closed again, she was unable to keep them open any longer as she drifted off back into a state of unconsciousness.