The Goliath Protocol:

Chapter Forty-Nine:

In Pieces

Silver Lake, Montana

Jill retreated almost daily.

She disappeared down by the lake. She disappeared to the training ground. She hid. She avoided. She stayed away.

When Chris found her one day flipping around in the bones of Leon's graveyard, he grunted, "This place is fucking depressing."

Jill stopped rolling and gained her feet. She faced him in the early morning light and tossed her sweaty hair back from her face. "I would've thought you'd like it."

He met her eyes and held her look. No softness here, she thought; Leon was trying so hard. He handled dinner with Claire like a man with nothing to lose. He cooked. He made jokes. He put on shows with Logan and forced everyone to participate or watch. He was trying.

Once a man who'd tried like hell to run, he was a man who was trying like hell to hold on. For the first real-time, he was the anchor holding her down, so she didn't float away.

Jill stayed on the outside like a wallflower at the prom. She lingered, she watched, but she didn't engage.

Chris studied her now as a man who'd known her most of their lives. As she huffed and held his look levelly, he told her, "You're fucking this up."

She gave him wide eyes. "...excuse me?"

"You heard me." He blew out a curl of smoke, "You're fucking this up. You've fought so hard to get here, Jill; why are you running again? You think it'll help?"

Jill gave him a killer look, "Oh...this is rich. Are you telling me how to stick around? Like you'd even know-how, you hypocrite."

He laughed a little, "I am. I'm also an asshole. And mostly always wrong. You wanna be like me? You almost were once; before you went out that window, you were almost as dark as me. Almost as lost in the fight."

Jill gave him a sad look, "No, I wasn't. I was just done. I went out that window because I was done, Chris. Done. Fighting. Losing. Running. I was done. I saved your life because you weren't. And you let me because we both know it made things easier on you when I went."

His brows winged up, and she laughed angrily, "Yeah. I went out the window, and I was gone. You didn't have to try to love me anymore. You didn't have to pretend you could. You got to avenge me...and that always suited you better anyway."

He studied her until he finally answered, "Fair enough. You didn't love me, Jill." When she scoffed, he added, "I know you think you did. I know it's easier to remember it that way. But we never quite worked, did we? Always just a little something that didn't click. I was too hard. You were too demanding. I was too devoted to the fight, and you wanted more."

Jill shook her head, "I'd have tried- you idiot- if you'd even pretended it's what you wanted."

"...I know that." He acknowledged and watched the anger on her face collapse into careful consideration, "I didn't want more. Not then. Not now. Not from you."

Now the insult on her made him laugh a little. "It's not you. You're incredible. You always were. Too good for me."

When she flicked her gaze over his face, he nodded, "Oh, yeah. Too good. Soft somehow, Jill, you were soft. You wanted something else. A life. A real life. And there was no hope of that for me. Never. Not the second we set foot in that mansion."

When she kept looking at him, he explained, "I was ready to retire and hand over the whole thing to Piers. I was ready. I'd lost enough time, enough life, enough blood to the battle. I was ready...and then he died."

When she tilted her head, Chris added, "He died...like you had. He died to save me...and I figured it out. There's no end for me. I can't. I cannot stop. I can't make those sacrifices be for nothing, Jill. It has to matter what I do. It has to change something...or what the hell am I fighting for?"

Jill took two steps toward him. He let her, eyes on her face, quiet - resolute- and tired. She saw tired on him as she did on Leon. Tired. Wounded. Waiting. But Chris wore it like he was made for it. It didn't irritate where it touched. He wasn't Leon. He wasn't angry about it. He was just determined.

He told her, "If you can...get out. Get out with Kennedy. Get out and live. Raise that kid and laugh and find your fucking happiness. I will keep fighting to make sure that happens for you. I will do what I can. It's all I can give you."

Jill held his eyes and whispered, "You had this device made to save me."

He shrugged a shoulder, "I had that device made to give you a chance. It's all I got. I'm not made to be a father, husband, or rancher. But Kennedy is."

When they held clashing eyes, he nodded, "Yeah. He is. So stop running from him. Stop. Whatever time you've got here...however this boils out...give it everything you've got. He's not perfect...god knows he's messier than a Jackson Pollock painting when you get too close...but he tried to kill me for you. That means something. And he loves that kid."

When Jill softened, Chris affirmed, "Yeah. He loves the kid. He loves you...though he won't ever say it because he's also an idiot. So, let him. Love him back. And just...stop running."

Jill whispered, "I'm so afraid."

Chris softened too and nodded, "I know you are. I would be too. But you can't give up. Not now. Not when it matters more than anything. You gotta hang on. And you gotta get up."

Jill rolled her lower lip in and confessed, "What if I fail him?"

"The kid? Or Leon?"

Broken, she gushed, "Both. They're both so good, Chris. What if I fail them?"

"Then you fail. And you keep fucking trying. Again, again, again...until you stop failing." When her face collapsed with pain, he took a step, stopped, and took another. Damnit. He needed Claire. He didn't know what to do here.

Where was Claire!?

Jill whimpered sadly, "What if I can't? Isn't it better if I just...get away before I fail? Isn't it better to just...save them by running away?"

Chris swallowed past the lump in his throat. "That's what I'd do."

Her face collapsed again as she whispered, "...is it the right thing to do?"

"Hell, no." His jaw flexed, "It's what a coward would do. So, I'd do it. Because I'm a fucking coward."

Jill shook her head, "You're not. You're the first person in the fight and the last to leave it."

"You're right. Bullets and blood and B.O.W.S, I got that covered. But when it's over and the day is saved or lost? I run. Because if I don't...I have to start thinking about what happens next. I have to look at who's waiting...and that's the thing, Jill. I made damn sure that no one was waiting."

Jill whispered, "Claire was...and me. I was...I was waiting. You stupid man. I was waiting for you."

Chris gave her a sad look. "I know that. I knew that. But you were waiting for the wrong guy, Valentine. The one you need? He's in that house with your son wearing a mop for a hat and singing. If you can't...then you go in there and say goodbye. But do it fast, don't let it linger...or you end up a lonely old guy with no one waiting."

Jill lifted her hands in surrender and stated, "He deserves better."

"Does he? He's a drunk with a chip on his shoulder as wide as big as a cannon aimed at his face just waiting to blow him away."

Jill gave him a stern look until Chris added, "You think I don't see the change in him? He's not drinking. He's not hiding. He's here. And I keep thinking about Claire in Antarctica."

When Jill tilted her head, he told her, "She was nothing to him. Not really. Just some girl he'd survived a shitty night with. But I knew."

Jill breathed softly, adding, "I knew what he'd done, what he'd traded for her freedom. I saw it. She didn't. Claire is...sweet. She's kind. She's somehow the best of me even though I never gave her that softness."

Jill simply said, "You're not giving yourself enough credit."

And now he laughed, "I'm giving myself none. Because Claire didn't think of what happened to Leon after that night, she didn't. She believed he'd do right by Sherry, and she came barreling after me like a brave girl with a big brother who didn't deserve her."

Jill held his eyes as he added, "Like a partner who jumped out a window to save a fool."

When the tension crackled, he finally said, "I didn't deserve that devotion from either of you. But he did. Kennedy did. Every fucking time he has a choice, that dumbass chooses someone else. I don't have to like it to see it. And I'm not a man who denies the truth of it. My sister, you, that kid in there...all of you are here because of Leon Kennedy. Not me."

Jill denied that with a snap, "You know that's not true. Any of it. Don't turn your back on what you've done, Chris. You think he's better than you?"

Without missing a beat, Chris laughed, "Oh, he is. That jealousy drove me on when we were young. Kennedy had the right connections, the right ears, the right allies, and that stupid charm that made women giggle around him. After a while, I realized that it was based on an elementary truth...he's a fucking hero."

Jill laughed angrily, "You're not?"

"I'm not. I'm just a guy who tries like hell to do the right thing. But Kennedy? He sees beyond the moment. He sees the big picture. He sees the world as it could be. Not like it is. He crouches around everybody and protects them. Even if it costs him everything."

Jill gave him a look of total exasperation, "You don't?"

"Not like that. Never. Because I only had one thing in the whole damn world to protect...and I failed her too."

Jill shook her head as he laughed, "Oh, yeah. A phone call - just one- and I could have spared her a trip to a dying city. A phone call - just one- and I could have saved her a race across the world to try to find me. I didn't. So...thank god for Leon Kennedy."

Her face softened as he added, "Yep. I said it. If you say it to him, I'll deny it with my dying breath...but he shows up when you need him, Jill. He sticks. He fights. He holds on. And he stands between what matters and the rest of the world. I don't have to like how he does it; I don't even have to agree, to respect it...and him."

Softly, with wonder, Jill breathed, "You like him."

Chris laughed, "I didn't say that. I wouldn't ever say that. But I like how he looks at you. I like how he fights for you. I like how he tries like hell when it's so bad that you can't see anything but shadows and blood."

When she tilted her head, he added, "He's an American flag on the moon, Jill. It shouldn't exist...but there it is. Because Leon Kennedy...believes in impossible things. And, god help me, it works."

She smiled sadly, "You think you don't?"

Chris shrugged, "I think I brought you back because he found you. And he sent me to Claire to save her too. I think I'm the nail...but Kennedy...he's the hammer. And he knows just how to hit it, so everything holds together...for a little longer."

Jill breathed, "That's why he deserves better."

"I'm not seeing any better here, Valentine. And love? It don't give a damn what's better. He picked you. So go get him. And hang on. For as long as you can. Otherwise? You're just a coward alone in the blood."

Jill shook her head and breathed, "...you're not alone."

When Chris smiled sadly, she told him, "You're not alone, Chris. Look around you...you're not alone. You're just too busy fighting to see it."

"That's what I do, Valentine. I just keep fighting. You wanna end up like me? You can. But you gotta make your choice. And make your peace with it. You've made your choice, Jill. Stick to your guns and finish it. And give me something to fight for."

Jill held his eyes and accused, "...you're a big squish under the crunchy shell, Redfield."

Chris laughed a little. "Don't tell the other guys, would ya? They'll never let me live it down."

Jill felt her eyes well as she told him, "...I've missed you."

He shifted and took a step. She echoed it. He laughed and shook his head, "...friendship chicken...who wins? Or does everybody lose?"

Jill's laugh was wet and gentle as she closed the distance and wrapped her arms around him. He chuckled and squeezed, holding her like he held Claire. Like you held family. She put her face in his neck, and he buried his nose behind her ear as she whispered, "...thank you, Chris...for bringing me back."

Jesus.

He gruffed, "...I'm so fucking sorry, Jill. For everything. It's not enough. I know that. I kn-"

She slapped a hand over his mouth and stated, "Shut up. We did the best we could, right? No regrets, Redfield. Not anymore. We just...deal with it."

He nodded. He squeezed her until they both let go. And she Jill breathed, "...you're too fat to hug now, you know that, right?"

He laughed. He teased, "The ass is good though, right? It claps when I walk."

And sometimes it was just that easy, Jill thought; sometimes it was just a joke when you were hurting and a hug after years of division. Sometimes...it was just forgiveness - for yourself and each other and all the time gone by.

Sometimes...it was just letting go and finding something worth fighting for.

On a rainy morning, Kevin showed up to complete their band of merry men living in that giant house.

Leon wasn't sure how it came to be that most of the heroes of bioterror existed under his roof in his once empty estate, but there they were. A ragtag group of survivors just finding something worth protecting.

Kevin worked like a charm to add some more humor to the gloom. He made fart jokes. He made actual farts that had Logan laughing. He joined in during freeze tag.

He brought video games and set up a console in the living room. Everybody played. Everybody lost. Everybody shouted and teased and joked. During a terrible game of Halo, Leon complained, "Who keeps using that goddamn sticky gun!?"

Logan giggled, and he mused, "...I got my ass kicked by a toddler."

To which Chris returned, "Not the first time, won't be the last."

Kevin wondered, "You familiar with the ass-kicking of midgets, Redfield?"

And Rebecca queried, "Is a midget technically a toddler?"

Leon snorted, "Salazar wasn't a toddler...he was a man."

Kevin added, "Was he? Press X to doubt, Kennedy. We only have your word on that. I'm voting for the toddler. You nearly got gutted by a toddler."

Chris added, "And you just did again."

Leon shouted, "Logan! That's my car!"

"You don't need it," Logan remarked cheekily, "You'd just wreck it anyway."

Everybody laughed. It was good. Wherever it went later, here, now...it was good. And it felt like friendship in a way all of them had been avoiding for years.

Jill didn't play. But she didn't leave either. She leaned against the wall and watched.

When Claire stepped close to her side, she accepted the hand the redhead slid into hers.

Friends, Jill thought, apparently this time - she wasn't alone. Nobody ran. Nobody panicked. Nobody left her alone to fight her battles.

Maybe this was how you found your way home.

When Jill went wandering one evening, Kevin gave Leon a look that sent the other man after her.

Leon found her down by the water and joined her at its edge, watching the moon on the steady glass surface. She spoke first, surprising him, "I like swimming."

He glanced at her profile, and she added, "I used to do it to keep the pounds off, ya know? Nothing better for the body. It works you from head to toe."

She stepped down, and the cool water touched the toes of her boots. "But floating in that water...I felt so at peace. When Wesker would let me, I'd spend hours in the water just...floating."

Leon remarked quietly, "There's nothing quite like it here. No influx of ocean, right? Just calm. Just still."

Jill nodded a little, "I want that for you."

He arched a brow, and she breathed, "I want the calm for you, Leon. Because you've spent so long just living among the ripples. I want you to just...be still. Stand still. Float. Exist."

When he said nothing, she glanced at him in the moonlight and confessed, "What if you never get that with me?"

They stood there for so long she thought maybe his brain had burst in his head because he just kept looking at her. When she blinked finally, he shrugged. He reached down and took off his boots.

Confused, Jill watched him stuff his socks in them. The metallic whoosh of his zipper had her brows arching as he just divested himself of his clothes and stood naked and incredible in the shadows of the trees and the silver flicker of the watching face of the moon.

He went into the water while she stood on the shore watching him. He dove under and came up on his back, floating.

When she just stood there studying him, he called, "You comin? It's the perfect temperature."

Jill shed her clothes and went into the water. It was warm. It was soothing. She floated out on her back until their shoulders bumped, and he told her, "Nice night. Summer is just hanging on. You never really know around here if it will. But it's trying."

Jill said nothing until he added, "All you can ever really do is try, Jill. You try. Sometimes you fail. Sometimes you win. But you try."

Jill echoed him when he floated upright until they faced each other in the water.

He didn't touch her. She didn't touch him either.

The water streamed down her face and his, making his perfect hair look like a drowned mess. They floated, watching each other until she whispered, "...you ever wonder how we got here?"

Leon tilted his head, hearing the echo of that conversation they'd had so long ago, "A lot of steps, I think. And a lot of choices."

Jill shook her head, "Maybe for you. I don't remember the last time I had a choice."

He simply said, "You have one now. And you've had them more than you think. You put your hands on me that first time, Jill. Remember?"

She held his eyes and answered, "I remember."

"Why?" He tilted his head. "I never asked. Then, it didn't matter. But why?"

Jill licked her dry lips and admitted, "I wanted to feel alive."

Leon let out a soft laugh. "And fucking me makes you feel alive?"

She shook her head a little. "At that moment, it did because you were nothing to me, Leon. Nobody. Not really. Just some dude with a rockin body and a good sense of humor. Just...a guy who looked almost as lost as me. Sex was easy. It was simple. For a handful of minutes, I was just the woman above you with her hands on your ass. I wasn't anything but that."

"Just a woman."

She smiled sadly. "Just a woman...and I hadn't been a woman like that in a long time."

He floated and encouraged softly, "And now?"

Jill laughed darkly. "Now I'm the anchor weighing down your world. And you're the guy who saved me and kept saving me, and I just...forced my way into your life like cancer...killing you a little at a time until you'll simply rot away to nothing."

His lips curled a little as he returned, "I looked weighed down to you?"

When she said nothing, he added, "I'm just floating, Jill—just floating. Maybe at some point, I sink. Maybe that happens. But not yet. Not here. And not now."

When she gave him a sad look, he invited, "Float with me. I don't see an anchor in this water...but I see a woman. A beautiful woman with so much baggage that I'm surprised she's still floating. But she is. She's here. So, float."

After a moment, an owl hooted somewhere, and Jill confessed, "I'm so afraid this ends with you dead."

The amusement on his face flickered. He almost masked it - old habits and innate responses. He almost hid it. But he let her see the pain of that statement instead. He was learning. And he was a faster learner. To hold on, sometimes you had to let go.

So, he let go of the instinct to protect and just went with honesty. "I'm not afraid to die."

She laughed lightly, and he shook his head, "I'm not, Jill. It happens. It'll happen. One day - eventually - it'll happen. Maybe tomorrow. But not tonight. Not here."

When she looked at him so steadily, it centered him as he finished, "You forced your way into my life? Is that how you see it?"

She lifted her hands in a gesture of capitulation. "You see it differently?"

Leon laughed softly. "Nope. That's what happened. You kept showing up. You kept coming around. I didn't find you or follow you or seek you out. You just...popped up."

Her look was droll as he added, "I honestly don't know what would have happened if you hadn't. The day you showed up here? That day you finally stopped waiting and just...forced your way in?"

Jill waited for him to say whatever was there in his eyes. She waited for him to drop the armor and finally, completely, give her some kind of truth she'd been waiting for all this time. So, he gave her what he could. "I was three steps from the edge."

He ducked under the water. He emerged again, and the water had forced all that hair out of his face. She had that moment when he was free of its frame where she thought - goddamn, that's a face carved by angels...or demons. And it was. It was a face meant to haunt. And it did. It haunted. Because the fire and fight behind the perfect hair and goddamn buttchin was the stuff that made girls chase it and hope like hell they could keep it.

But the honesty on it now? It was the most haunting thing of all. No masks here - Jill thought - just...truth. "I don't know if I would have come back."

She tilted her head, "You don't believe that."

"I..." He blew out a breath, "I don't know what I believe. I know I wasn't handling any of it very well. Not Eva. Not you. Not the pressure. I was buckling. I was alone...and for the first time in my life, I was so tired of being alone."

Jill murmured, "So...any girl would have worked at that moment. Any person, really. It didn't have to be me."

He gave her a stern look. "It was always you. I could usually drink you away...but I couldn't then. I could usually push you out, but I couldn't then. The whole thing began, and I just...I let you sink into my veins...I let you in. I saw it all - eight steps ahead, right?"

Jill held his eyes as he confessed, "I saw what happened if I sent you away. I knew...you'd find Kevin in the ashes of that and be happy. I knew. I knew you'd go on. You'd live. You'd thrive without me."

Jill shook her head, and he demanded, "Just wait...let me do this and wait."

She said nothing, floating in that water, looking at him like he'd grown a second head. "Eventually...you'd stop thinking about me. You'd stop wondering about me. You'd stop wanting me. I'd turned aside every fucking woman in my life that way. But you wouldn't go...you wouldn't go away."

Jill laughed a little. "Like a parasite."

"Like a woman with nothing to lose."

They held eyes, and he told her, "I don't know when I realized it had to be you, but there it was. You think I saved you, Jill?"

Her heart smacked in her ribs as he finished, "You saved me. Because I can't remember the last time anyone, anywhere...gave a shit if I cried in my fucking kitchen or took a drink or slept. You just listened. You listened, and you kept listening. At some point, I knew...you heard me. And you cared what I said. And if I let you go...if I did the right thing and let you go away...I'd never have that again."

Jill gave him a defeated look. "Leon...do you think I'd have left and forgotten you?"

He shrugged a little and admitted, "Why not? What's worth remembering, Jill? A big dick? A good face? A four-minute fuck in a back room of a bad bar? I tried like hell to make it that. I did. Because then I wouldn't have to think about what happened if I just...let you in."

Softly, Jill told him, "It's a nice dick."

He laughed, "Nice is a polite way of saying it's small."

She gave him a shimmering expression. "I will never forget you. You made damn sure of that the first time you held a stupid crying mess in that bathroom. You could have run then, Leon. You didn't run. Why?"

He shrugged again, "You needed me. I...like being needed."

"And at the bonfire? When you just stood there? Why then?"

Say it, she thought wildly, say it.

Because then? Then I needed you.

"Because you didn't need a hero, Jill. You needed a friend...and for the first time ever? I wanted to be that friend."

Not exactly right, Jill thought, but close. For him? Close.

She floated and whispered, "What are you saying here?"

"I'm saying if you want me...if you really want me...I'm yours. I'm yours, and you're mine. Don't know when it happened, but it's done."

She whimpered softly.

I'm yours, he said. So casually. Like it was nothing.

When it was everything.

I don't want anything here, Jill. I don't date.

And he didn't. He didn't date. He just laid claim and walked away. Her head shook. Her breathing was soft even as she rubbed her sternum to feel the slap of her heart back there, telling her she liked it. She wanted the gentle possession.

Had anyone, anywhere, ever said it to her? You're mine.

What did it mean to be his?

Time would tell.

Softly, she breathed, "I will be the thing that gets you killed."

His head tilted, "Sometimes it's a matter of what's worth dying for. I'm not afraid to die...but I was afraid to live."

When she floated, and he moved toward her, she didn't retreat. She waited. He caught her face and tilted it up to him, "Live with me, Jill. Right here and now. Just breathe...and live...and float...the rest of it? It's later."

A tricky request. Live with him. They were all kind of doing that already. They were living in an odd hodge-podge of community. But he didn't mean take up residence with him. She was sure of that. He meant - at this moment- to just live.

She took one of his hands and laid it flat against the device on her chest. "And if this is there for the rest of that life?"

He echoed her and put one of hers against his. "Then so is this. What do you want, Jill?"

Love. It's what she wanted. Love. But she wouldn't ask. She'd never ask for that. So, she gave him the other thing weighing around her heart like a stone. Desperate honesty.

She felt the tears prick her eyes as she almost begged, "...freedom."

"I will get you freedom. I will never fucking stop...but I need you to promise me...that you won't either."

Quietly, she answered that simple request. "...I won't stop."

"Good. Right now? We just float...and let it all go."

They rolled to their backs. They floated in the moonlight.

When he took her hand, she let him.

There was no time for it. No time for romance or friendship or floating. No time. They were wasting it here, on this ranch, floating in the warm water side by side.

But they just kept on floating.

And it was time well wasted.

In the house, Claire glanced at Kevin, where he stood looking out the window. She elbowed him gently and drew his eyes to her face. In the living room, Chris let out a shout, "Somebody cheated!"

Rebecca taunted, "Oh? It's Left 4 Dead! You got left, brutha."

Logan giggled. Chris muttered, "Bullshit. Who leaves the tank behind!?"

Logan answered, "Tanks are too heavy sometimes. They get left. Sometimes, it helps to be small."

There was a squeal as Chris demanded, "Was that a fat joke!?"

Rebecca mused, "Well, you are the size of a mountain. Objectively speaking. Your proportions are better based in professional wrestling, I think."

"You want me in front of you when the monsters start shooting, princess? Or Kennedy's skinny ass?"

Rebecca laughed, "You, definitely. You make a much better human shield...but if we're running? I'd vote for Leon."

Everybody laughed, and Chris lamented, "...women."

Kevin chuckled as Claire mused, "You ok?"

He laughed a little. "I'm great. You know me - roll with the punches, right?"

Claire gave him a look that had his brows arching. "What?"

"Is it Jill...or the idea of Jill, I wonder?"

He snorted. "You think I'm carrying a torch from one date a thousand years before you were born?"

Claire rolled her eyes. "Why not? I carried one for Leon for years."

Surprised, Kevin met her calm gaze, and she added, "Oh, yeah. Big time. I mean...look at him. Big hero. Handsome. Charming. But he never stopped fighting to see it. And it was easier, I think, to put it away."

When he kept looking at her, she smiled, and dimples appeared on her cheeks. "The idea of Leon was so much better than the truth. He wasn't for me. Maybe...if there'd never been a Raccoon City, it might have been something. But it happened. And here we are."

Kevin laughed a little. "Here we are."

"So, maybe we make the most of that. You can hold onto an idea, or you can go out there and find something real."

When he tilted his head at her, she shrugged, "Life's a gamble, Ryman. And always was. Maybe it's time to hedge your bets."

She left him standing there and went into the living room. Kevin watched her go, mouth twitching. A gamble, he thought, if you were a betting man - he'd have laid money on anyone but him.

But the smile she tossed over her shoulder said maybe...he'd have lost that bet.

Kennedy was betting on him. He was hedging his bets that his best guy would rise to the occasion. He was laying odds that it would all work out.

It was a dangerous gamble.

But what did they have to lose?

Maybe it was time to gamble and see who won.