Note: There seems to a growing dis-interest in this story. Does it matter if I finish it?

Chapter Sixty-one: No Strings Attached

The nightmares kept at him, chewing away the hours of the night until he was afraid to go to sleep. He would walk to the bedroom door, the room bathed in the glow of light, and stare at his bed with longing. Mite, always eager for a little love, would bound into the room and curl up on the bed, waiting for a snuggle that eventually stopped coming. He'd only end up shutting off the light and turning his back on his bedroom. In his nightmares he relived the horror of that day in the jewelry store. Or he was back in the lab on the day of the shooting, running through hallways to find that all of his friends had been murdered in cold blood. He hated closing his eyes and letting the power of sleep dragging him into the murky darkness. He would sit on the couch watching late night shows but not really paying attention to the television. As does happen he would drift off to sleep, Mite curling up beside him on the sofa, and miraculously the nightmares would not come. For a while he thought about sleeping on the couch permanently, dragging out a blanket and pillow, making himself comfortable. But for some reason he felt that was admitting defeat, thus making him reluctant to take that step.

Oddly enough his lack of sleep seemed to go unnoticed at work. Perhaps because he was able to do his job just as if he'd slept the whole night through. He worked with the trace evidence, produced results. Even managed to teach Ryan a thing or two that the younger investigator hadn't yet known. Unfortunately, despite their hard work they drew no closer to finding out who murdered that family. They did put to rest an old cold case and solve two robberies; one of which turned out to be a count of fraud by the home owner instead of an actual robbery. All in all the week went by fast and without any problems at work. None of his friends badgered him with unwanted questions. They weren't asking him how he was feeling every time they happened to pass in the hallway. He began to think that perhaps things were getting back to normal.

With the exception of the nightmares.

Everything seemed okay otherwise. They were laughing and joking, making unnecessary comments on the job. Dare he think that things were even beginning to smooth between him and Delko. His friend no longer brought up questions about their friendship, or his feelings about wanting to turn it into a relationship. There was no mention of the kiss a few nights ago. No mention of the events that took place before he ran away months back. It did bother him when he realized that Delko forgot to do something that was routine on the job. But Calleigh spoke to him in a hushed voice with an understanding smile that helped him to see things for what they really were. And he let it slide, keeping an eye on Delko but not going out of his way to correct his friend.

Everything was going famously.

Until a few minutes ago.

Now he was sitting in the locker room with the all too familiar pain in his chest and his hands clenched into fists. It all started falling apart when he realized that he'd allowed himself a false sense of security. That was all the last days happened to be. Nothing had really changed, not in the way he'd been thinking that it had. He could still see the level of guilt in Horatio's eyes when they talked. The worry in Calleigh's words and the way that Ryan tried not to talk about shooting victims while they processed evidence. Despite all his hard work, his belief that things had gotten better, he realized nothing had. He was fooling himself. Perhaps he wanted things to get better so badly that he envisioned how it would be when the time came.

But a false sense of security did him no good.

He sat there, cursing himself under his breath. How could he have been so dumb, such an idiot to allow something like this to happen? He should have known better. And why did he friends let it happen?

The door to the locker room opened and Delko walked in. A smile appeared on his lips when he saw. "Hey, hiding from your work?"

------------------------

He had been busy downstairs talking with Tripp about the return of Hagen, who was set to come back on desk duty the beginning of next week. Finally things were returning to some semblance of normal around the lab. All those injured in the shooting a few months back were back hard at work, bandages gone. A few had decided to move on to other careers or retire; which he understood fully. Sometimes he thought about retirement but then he'd get a call taking him to another crime scene and the job would suck him in again. How could he retire when there were criminals to be put behind bars? He still had a lot of good years left.

As he walked down the hallway toward his office he saw Speed hard at work in the Trace Lab. Velera was conversing with Ryan and Calleigh, no doubt about the results of a DNA test that she'd run. He heard the sound of a video recording from the AV room where Cooper did what he was good at. All in all there was nothing he could complain about. There were still bits and pieces that needed to be put back into the picture but in time, even they would move back in and finish the picture. He opened the door to his office and faltered in his step to see that Delko sat waiting for him. Recovering quickly he closed the door and went to sit behind his desk.

"Something wrong?" he asked his friend. He settled in his chair.

"You need to talk to Speed," Delko told him.

Horatio's heart sank. He thought things were going well so of course the smooth road would acquire a sudden pothole. "Why? Is he having trouble?"

"He offered to sleep with me," confessed Delko without a trace of embarrassment. "Something about no strings attached. That doesn't exactly sound like normal conversation. Especially when he just blurts it out while I'm talking about crime scene photos."

"You turned him down?"

Delko look at Horatio as if he had three heads all of sudden. "Of course I did. I may want a relationship with him, H, but I don't want it because he's feeling insecure or something else along those lines. I want it to happen because he feels the same way."

There was more to it Horatio knew, and he even knew exactly what it was but he wanted to hear the words from Delko. He wanted someone else to confirm his troubling through. "And why are you bringing this to my attention?"

"Because I'm afraid that Speed might get reckless."