Disclaimer- I don't own these Character's they belong to Kurt Sutter

Sorry for the delay, I have been too busy to get into this chapter. I am hoping to have this story done or at least mostly done before the next season so I am going to try to update a lot quicker. Thanks for sticking with me!

I got up the next morning and stretched hoping to see Jax instead I just got the normal bout of nausea. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I heard Jax come in and prayed that he was asleep enough to not put it together.

"Are you ok, Tara?"

"Yeah, I just had an uh…a bad dream and I woke up sick is all."

"Oh ok, do you need to talk about it or..."

"No, I actually and just going to shower and head to the hospital."

I took some deep breathes once I was in the shower to calm my stomach. Once I got out I knew I was alone in the house. I took my time dressing and then I drove slowly to St. Thomas. I checked on Gemma first and then I went to the NICU to see if I was needed. I had just checked on a little girl when Jax found me.

I knew that what he was asking me could end up costing me my license but I had to help Jax. It was part of the problem with our relationship; we would do anything for the other, no matter the cost to ourselves. So against my better judgment I set up an appointment and went to tell the nurses I was leaving for a while.

We rode in silence and barely spoke once we got to the clinic; but finally after the deal was done he broke the silence.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I am sorry I had to ask this of you, if I could have kept you out of it I would have."

"I know, Jax. But you also know I would do anything to help you."

Of course to that he had nothing to say. He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as I got out of the van and then left. I went back to my robotic routine and tried not to think on the past few days. It was a nice break to be back at work; just helping patients and doing paperwork.

I decided to sit in my office and finish filling out charts and that's where I was when Jax walked in looking very upset. I barely kept my calm when he said he was done and then he kissed me, what the hell is that. You don't kiss someone you just broke up with, especially not with the love that kiss had. I sat there stunned before it hit me. Jax left me and that was the straw that broke me and I lost it. I sat and sobbed for a long time.

I finally calmed down enough to drive home and noticed that Jax's bike wasn't here. I was really hoping that he would have come home and we could talk about this. I made myself something to eat and went to bed thinking of what a mess my life has turned into. Since Jax didn't occupy the nursery I went in and walked around running my hands over all of Abel's things. The room was still a bit of a mess since I destroyed it; so I decided to clean it up. I knew Jax would be heading to Belfast soon and this room needed to be ready for Abel. I spent hours trying to put everything back in order and cleaning it in general. Once I was satisfied and exhausted I went to lay back down alone as usual.

The next morning I got up, showered and got dressed. This is my family and the life I chose and there was no way Jax was going to push me out of it. I drove to the clubhouse knowing where he would be. I saw that there was a lot of people here but I walked in barely looking at anyone but once Opie tried to stop me I knew this wasn't going to go like I hoped. I could tell Opie was lying about him not being there, he never could lie to me well. I stormed into the apartment and saw Jax on the bed then noticed the Black stilettos and bra on the floor. I looked back to Jax and saw him look upset, just then that porn slut came out of the bathroom in one of Jax's SMACRO shirts. I gave Jax one last look before slamming the door. I have to get out of here as fast as possible. I barely heard Opie's apology before I got to fresh air. As I pulled out I saw Ima come out of the clubhouse, just what I thought Jax used her to give me the final push out of his life. I wanted to hit her with the car but knew I wouldn't do my unborn child any favors so I kept going but I couldn't believe I just saw Lyla bitch slap her. Wow, that was unexpected.

I went to the Cemetery as soon as I left the clubhouse. I visited my mom first, and then went to Kips and David's fresh graves. I couldn't help my next stop usually I don't see my dad's but I couldn't help it. I thought once I left his abuse behind I wouldn't let myself get hurt again but here I was getting my heart stomped on my a man who claimed to love me. I sat at his grave for a long time just examining my life. Jax had been a life saver thru high school and all the nights I had to hide from my dad but now he was the one I needed to hide from.

I finally stood up and started toward my car and stopped. There was one other person I should visit, John. I made my way to John's grave and noticed a ring; it was the SO from his SONS rings. I picked it up and held onto it. That meant Jax had been here recently and might come back so I didn't stay long. I put the ring back and stood up.

Jax's Point of View

When Juice had called and told me that Tara was at the cemetery I don't know why I got right on my bike and rode over there but I did. I parked somewhere I knew she wouldn't see the bike and walked to where I knew she would be, her mom's grave. I watched as she went to Half Sack's and then David's graves. I followed her to her dad's grave but couldn't believe she was there let alone how long she stayed. I saw her head to the car and was about to head back to my bike when I saw her take off in another direction. I watched her go to my dad's grave and couldn't believe it. I saw her crying as she ran her hand over his name. It took everything I had not to go hold her and beg for her forgiveness but I knew she deserved so much more than what my life was giving her. Part of me wanted to believe Opie when he said it would take more than this to keep Tara away but I knew there had been a lot more than this piled on her in the past few weeks and I just didn't think he was right and the other half who wants her safe hopes that is the case.

TARA's

I had a feeling I was being watched but was too upset to think much of it. I knew I needed to go talk to Gemma. I left her room to go get a bag together for her to take. I was able to find some clothes at the house of Gemma's and had started getting shampoo and make up together when I heard Jax pull in, shit I really wanted to be gone before he got back. He walked to the bathroom and stood in the entrance looking at me. Great, another fight just what I wanted; I just left bag in hand. I didn't want to go back to hospital yet so I called Opie.

"Hey Opie, are you with Lyla?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I need a favor, can you see if she will me at the new club on Grove Street."

"She said sure, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I just need to blow off some steam"

Tara was sitting at a table when Lyla showed up.

"Hey Tara, I was surprised you wanted to meet me."

"I like you Lyla, I'm sorry I was so mean to you to start with, you really are nice. Besides after seeing you slap Ima you are at the top of my list." I smiled at her. "Let's dance."

I had an alarm on my phone so I knew I wouldn't miss the plan so I just let go. I just wanted to forget everything so I just concentrated on the music. I knew people were dancing around me but I didn't pay them any attention. When the song "I wanna be bad" came on I really let loose. I was dancing all over and barely noticed when Lyla walked away. I saw Opie walk in and knew that's why she left but I kept dancing. I felt someone come up and put their hands on my hips so I moved away but they seemed to follow me. So I decided to walk to Lyla and Opie but I felt someone grab my arm.

"Hey baby, don't go let's go somewhere private."

"No thanks." I relied and I tried to walk away but he wouldn't let me go. About that time I caught a glimpse of leather approaching. Thank you Lyla for calling Opie, I silently thanked her. When the guy got pushed away I was surprised to see Jax standing in front of me.

"Back off, she is spoken for."

He can't be doing this not after this morning, I can only take so much. I take off for the door and I hear Jax coming after me.

"Tara!" I keep going "Tara, stop!"

I turned to look at him. "What Jax? You got another girl you want me to see you with because I got your drift with the first one."

"Tara, I said I was sorry about this morning. What were you thinking coming here; you had to have known guys would be all over you."

"Why, Jax? Why are you doing this to me?" I wouldn't cry in front of him again, so I took a calming breath. "Jax, what is it you want from me? You wanted me gone and you finally got your way, I'm done. I can't keep being the only person fighting for us and you quit the night Abel was taken. You win; you can bail but DON'T keep telling me it's for my own good Jackson. This is about your wants and needs so have fun with whoever you want."

I got in the cutlass and torn out of the parking lot just as my alarm went off… It's show time.

I was sitting at the police station answering questions when the question I had been waiting on came out.

"Dr. Knowles, you are dating Gemma's son why should we believe you didn't just let her go."

"Because, I'm not with Jax anymore. We broke up and if you don't believe me ask Ima, she's a porn star with Cara Cara and Jax spent the night with her last night."

After that they seemed to believe me and let me go. I went back to Jax's and sat in the nursery thinking of everything I lost and trying to figure out what to do with my current pregnancy.

Jax's Point of View

I can't believe Tara risked everything to get mom on this trip after everything I put her thru. I saw mom coming toward me.

"Jackson, we need to talk. What are you doing with Tara?"

"Stay out of it mom, Tara is too good for me and this life."

"You're right, she is too good for you because unlike you she hasn't given up on your love. Jax, you're my son and I would do anything for you but you are in the wrong on this. She loves Abel and has needed you to help her thru this and instead you have bailed on her and now this. When we get back you damn well better fix things with her or I promise you, you will regret it."

"Mom, I'm already missing her but she needs to be free to get a better life than this."

"Yeah well your sons…son needs his mother and father together, and I'm not talking about Wendy."

Authors note- I know I added stuff and don't count on much from Jax's point of view this will stay mostly Tara's point of view.