Bouncing off the Walls

I hate nightmares.

They always mix the truth and the lies together. My fears and my worries all clashed together along with my pains and my regrets

Of course that wasn't how it happened…not exactly.

When I woke up a thin layer of sweat is drench all over me and I'm breathing like I've run the longest track marathon in the world. Which of course I wouldn't do.

I would fly it.

My white tank top is messed up and the front is sort of thrown off to the side. The cups of my bra are sticking out. When I run my hand through my hair it is wet and easy to push back from my face.

Afraid to be in the bed any longer, I throw the mostly pushed aside blankets off of me. My black shorts have ridden up so when I stand I pull them down. Then, I close my eyes and reached my arms up and over my shoulders. I stand on my toes and stretch longer.

I shake out my wings, feeling the movement of each feather. My heart begins to calm. I try to tell myself that nightmare was a year ago. I'm fine now. No one can hurt me.

And that's when I realize, he's standing in the doorway.

His arms are crossed and he leaning against the framing. He had on just boxers and I could see his chest covered with scars. His chest made them shift along his tan skin.

His dark eyes tracing over me, lingering at my chest when I realize in horror that I had fixed my tank top. But what does it matter, so what?

It's just a bra. He can get over it.

"Go ahead and take your picture." And hang it up so you can tear me down.

I place my hands on my hips and wait for an explanation.

"You were screaming again," maybe I just wanted to hear the pain in his voice but I couldn't deny it was still there.

He stepped forward into the room, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. "You haven't had nightmares in awhile."

Two months isn't awhile.

Over a year, what happened between us, now that was a long time.

Without my consent, he reached his calloused hand up to press it against my forehead. His skin was so cool that I leaned into his touch just to relax. He peeked at me past the long darks strands of his hair.

His mouth twitched as if he was going to smile.

If he had, I would've hit him.

I scolded myself for looking like a fool again.

For some reason, his hand moved down to my cheek and his thumb traced my lips for just a second before cupping my neck.

I backed away just as he leaned in and shut my eyes. I crossed my arms over my chest and folded my wings up tighter against my back. The feathers made my burning back hotter but I had to pull myself in tighter.

I had nothing left to lose. My heart was bouncing off the walls and I had to grab it and shut it up.

I shook my head and was scared of what he might say. So, instead I filled the silence with my words, knowing that if anyone should get hurt, it deserved to be him.

He hurt me, so it was only fair.

But life's unfair Maximum.

What the heck Voice? Leave me alone!

I'm just trying to help.

Of course, the Voice wasn't helping though.

Fang's lips part for a moment. He was close to saying something. He hated the silence between us just as much as I did. I felt the new light peaking through the windows, the sun would be rising soon and then we'd have to go to school. I would be with Bobby and Fang could be with whoever he wanted. Which was never me in the end.

"With all the years I've wasted on you," I whispered, trying not to bite my lip to show I was lying, I averted my eyes to the ground. "I'm finally free of that."

"Just leave me alone Fang."

Then, the door slammed shut and I was all alone again.

Just as I asked.

So why I wasn't I happy?

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Song is "Bouncing off the Walls" by Sugarcult

I've decided to include the next chapter because this one was so short.

And I lucked out on this one because the lyrics are perfect (for 23)

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23

Fang hated her. He hated her so much for doing this to him. He hated her for turning her back on the flock because she thought she was a monster. He hated her for being beautiful and amazing and unattainable.

He hated he had ever left her.

When he watched her go last night to hang out with that boy, he couldn't do anything to stop it. He was the reason she was moving on. He had broken it off because at the time it was for the best.

He went to his room. The bed perfectly made. He couldn't sleep, not while knowing she was screaming.

He was sorry every day.

Hadn't he suffered enough?

Apparently not…in Max's mind.

I won't always love what I'll never have, he told himself because eventually, he would have Max. She'd come around eventually.

He forced himself into a pair of jeans and a black tee shirt. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. His dark eyes were too cold. His lips always in a harsh frown. His hair was too shaggy and too dark. The dark circles under his eyes were completely noticeable. His cheeks seemed to sink in. His chin stuck out.

He shoved his hands in his pockets thinking of all the things he should've said.

He should've told Max that he would always be there for her.

He probably shouldn't have broken them apart with such cold words, lying to himself and her for the best.

When he closed his eyes, he still had the dreams of watching her face crumble into a hurt. No one else knew these lonely dreams. He couldn't face or explain the pain in Max's face with the expression I thought you loved me.

Fang's eyes glared at his reflection.

So ugly in his mind.

No wonder Max could never love him.

But should he explain that he knew everything?

He knew her pain.

He knew her happiness.

They didn't need abilities.

Max was everything about him that was good.

She would laugh it off or cut him off.

She would be hurt if he pulled her aside right now and said the words on his mine.

"I'm here. I'm now. I'm ready. Holding on tight to you because Max, you're the only one."

That would make her cry.

She wouldn't understand.

If only he could explain.

He broke up with her

Not because he didn't love her

But because he had to

For the best.

He never, would never,

Stop loving her.

As much as Fang had led Max to believe that over a year ago.

What was he hoping for?

That she'd forget he had cause her the worst hurt in the world.

No, but he was hoping she could love him once more.

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Song is "23" by Jimmy Eat World