Disclaimer- I don't own these Character's they belong to Kurt Sutter

When I stepped out of the shower, I quickly got dressed and went looking for my boys; I had to hurry and grab the camera because Jax had fallen asleep in the nursery with Abel on his chest. I didn't want to wake them so I went and got ready. Once I was ready and had the diaper bag packed, I went to strap in the car seat base again. I had to stop and get my emotions in check, damn pregnancy hormones. I had my head on the car when I felt arms go around my waist and I immediately started to fight and scream.

"Tara, It's me, TARA! It's just me."

He spun me around to see his face and I let out a breath and then I smacked him across the face.

"Fuck babe, was that necessary?"

"Oh Jax, I'm sorry you just scared me so badly. I'm sorry; I guess I'm just jumpy after everything. Are you ok?"

He wrapped me in a hug, "I'm fine. I'm sorry too, I just wasn't thinking. Besides it's not the first time you've slapped me and unfortunately, it probably won't be the last."

I only smiled and leaned in, resting my head on his chest.

"What are you doing out here anyway, Tara?"

"Well I was putting the base back in the car and loading up, so when I went in to get you guys up, we would be ready to go."

"Tara, you are amazing, you know that?"

"No, I just do my best. Come on, let's get our boy and go get breakfast. I'm starving!"

"Oh well, we better hurry." He paused to put his hands on my belly "I wouldn't want my son to be hungry."

I shook my head and let him lead me into the house. I let Jax drive to the clubhouse and as we pulled up I saw everyone milling around, and I felt complete. This may not be an ideal life but it is our life and with all this family at least my kids will be loved like no other.

Once Jax parked we both got out, I grabbed the diaper bag and Jax took Abel. He quickly came over to me and put his arm around my shoulder. We walked towards the clubhouse getting stopped the whole time with people congratulating us on having Abel back. We finally made it inside the clubhouse only to be surrounded and applauded.

"Well…?" Bobby asked.

"Well what?"

"How are you, Tara?"

"I'm fine thanks, Bobby."

"Babe, I think he is asking about this." Jax pulled out my ultrasound picture and held it up. "The baby is healthy and due in about 7 months."

We got engulfed with hugs and well wishes. After everyone had hugged us and was looking at the ultrasound, I stepped back.

"You guys look all you want but I am hungry, so I'm eating."

"Yes, Get over here and feed my grandson." Gemma called out.

Once I had my plate, I grabbed Abel so Jax could get some food and as soon as he got his plate, he took Abel back.

"Now you eat. I will hold him and eat."

I did just that and we kept getting more people stopping by and they all just kept making me laugh. It was like the stress of the past month just never existed. When Lyla and Opie announced their engagement, it just re-energized everyone more. Everyone took turns holding Abel, which gave Jax and me some time to ourselves.

"How are you doing, Tara?"

"I'm good, Jax. Finally, I feel good and content. I really missed all this. Its times like now that I understand your draw to the club."

He wrapped me in a hug. "I love you, Tara."

"I love you, Jax."

Our wonderful moment was interrupted by our new bundle of joy reminding me it was there and I had to run through the guys and throw up. I felt Jax come up behind me and hold my hair again. We sat back there for a few minutes to make sure my stomach had settled before leaving the apartment. We walked back hand in hand and got Abel. I heard Jax telling Abel that he was going to have a little brother.

"You Teller's sure are confident it's a boy."

"I already told you; I have a feeling."

"Yeah, yeah." I shook my head but had to smile at his confidence.

As breakfast wrapped up, I went to Lyla.

"Hey, Lyla. Do you and the kids want to come to my house?"

"I would really like that, Tara. Thank you!"

I loaded Abel up and got ready to head home while Jax and the rest of SAMCRO got ready to head out as well. Jax walked us to the car and I paused before climbing in.

"What's going on, Jax? Everyone seems extra tense."

"It's just the bail hearing coming up and we are all getting ready to go inside."

I kissed him goodbye and drove home followed by Lyla. When I got to the house I noticed Neeta was already there. We were all laughing and having a good time when my cell phone rang; Gemma was calling from jail and freaking out about Clay and Jax. I decided to go straight to the source and drove to the clubhouse leaving Abel with Neeta and Lyla.

I only got to talk to Jax for a minute before he had to get back into the clubhouse to tell them about Chucky's counterfeit bills. I went home with a horrible feeling, something big and dangerous was going on and the boys were leaving all the old ladies in the dark. I think Lyla and Neeta knew I had a lot on my mind and they let me just sit in the chair holding Abel. A little while later my cell phone rang, this time a hesitant Jax came on the line.

"Tara, we need some help."

"Ok, I will be there shortly."

"Baby, this isn't some patch up job we, what we need help with is dangerous…but we need some help."

"Ok, I will be there shortly." I repeated.

I drove to the clubhouse wondering what I was getting myself into. When I got there Opie was waiting for me.

JAX'S POV

That was one of the worst phone calls I have ever had to make. I didn't want Tara anywhere near the Russians; I wanted her safe and sound at our house with Abel. I know she is the only one who could do what we needed but that didn't change my feelings. I went in to talk to Clay, maybe we can throw one of the prospects in her car or something.

I walked in and watched as my brothers all packed away money, guns and strapped on bullet proof vests. When I got handed one, I knew it was Tara's because it was extra-long to cover more. I was glad she would be relatively safe; but the thought that I would be putting this on Tara, and my unborn kid, was heartbreaking.

As I walked over to her and Opie, I saw how brave she was being. I stared at her trying to memorize everything I could about her, I knew this would be my last chance to hold Tara before we went in and so when I hugged and kissed her; I put all my feelings into it. Most people wouldn't be able to see how nervous she was but years of loving this woman told me she was scared to death and my desperate kissing didn't help. I watched as my life drove out of the parking lot before walking over to Clay and Unser.

I said goodbye to all the guys who would be lucky enough to not be joining us in prison and who controlled my future in their hands. Opie and I had talked earlier at breakfast.

"Opie, I need you man."

"Jax, you have nothing to worry about we will all make sure everything goes as planned. We want you guys back as quick as possible too."

"No Opie, I have no worries about that. I need you to help Tara. Man, I am leaving her with a baby and pregnant. Ma's gonna be on house arrest since she had to be in Ireland, so I am sure Tara, will start being relied on more and I am not going to be around to help."

"Jax, I love you both, brother. When I was locked up Donna told me how much you helped and I plan on returning the favor. You have nothing to worry about; Tara is probably the most loved old lady here."

"Opie, don't let Ma hear you say that."

"She would be ok, she is the most feared Old Lady and she likes it that way. Your mom and Tara are alike in some ways but your mom kills us with fear and love but Tara, she kills with kindness."

"That's my girl." I looked over to see Chibbs chatting with her making her laugh and rubbing her belly. I couldn't help but smile, who would have thought the Doctor and the Biker would make it; maybe they could change the club for the better.

"Hey Opie, one last thing. Make sure all the guys keep their hands to themselves."

Opie just laughed, patted me on the back and walked to Lyla and I went to Tara.

I got on my bike and took off to the meeting with the Russians. As we came down the hill and I saw Tara, standing there, I felt huge relief and fear at the same time.

Tara's POV

I drove to the meeting spot and waited. I sat in the Cutlass for what seemed like forever, waiting on the guys. I sat there thinking about everything in the past few weeks that had led to this point. I couldn't believe the 180 my life had taken after Abel was taken and all the work it had taken to get back to this point. I knew most people would think I took Jax back too easily, but I didn't care. Jax and I have been in love since we were 16 years old. We may have our ups and down but he is my family, always has been always will be and now we would have two children to add to our family. I got sick of sitting there so I went to get out and realized I had the bullet proof vest on and that would look crazy to anyone passing by, so I found one of Jax's hoodies and slipped it on and stood by the front of the car. I couldn't help but think about the poor woman who got killed on her way home from work by Salazar. Lucky for me, I heard the bikes coming and saw their approach and began moving to the back of the car. Seeing Jax again filled me with so much relief.

I drove back to the clubhouse the long way, as I had been told, in silence with the prospects riding along. I pulled into the shop and stepped out taking deep breaths.

"Are you ok?"

I looked at the prospects and nodded. "Yeah, can you just give me a minute?"

I looked around for something to attack the scumbag in my trunk. Anyone who uses an innocent baby deserves to die. I found a long screwdriver and went to the trunk but I couldn't bring myself to open the trunk. Something told me to leave it, not to mention I'm a healer not a killer. I heard a roar in my ears and felt my stomach roll. I ran to the first trash can, threw up and began crying.

I never heard anyone come in but I swung with the screwdriver when someone tapped my shoulder, luckily Tig was quick enough to avoid a hit.

"Jeez, Doc."

"Oh, Tig! I'm so sorry!"

"Hey no biggie, are you ok? And why in the hell do you have a screwdriver?"

I dropped it and looked at him and somehow this man knew what I had planned and took the screwdriver and put it away and wrapped me in a hug.

"Tara, I know this piece of shit would deserve anything you could do to him. Without him, Abel would have been back quickly, you never would have been taken and things wouldn't have gotten so messed up but trust me that is not who you are and you never will be, as long as we are around. I would never want you to have the same guilt I face due to my choices. Tara, you are a good person and you should never change and I know Jax will do anything to keep you from that."

"Tig, I am like that. I killed someone. I let Abel get kidnapped; I killed someone and because I did that Salazar killed an innocent woman on her way home from work. How do I live with that?"

I felt Tig wrap me in a bigger hug but heard Juice speak

"Tara, you have always done the right thing. You killing the girl was self-defense and you had nothing to do with the other girl and without you telling us, we would have had no idea where to look for Abel and we probably never would have found him. You want to know how to live with it, you look at Abel and you think about your unborn child and you think about what they would do without you."

I couldn't believe Juice was so sensitive; I put my hand on my stomach and looked up as Bobby came and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Doc, without you I don't know where this club would be. Jax's head isn't all there when you are not here. We need you, so you do what you need to do to deal with it but you can't dwell on anything that has happened. You did what you had to do."

"Well, isn't this a sweet sight. You all know Jax would kill you for having your hands on her, right?" Clay smiled at them. "Ok, everyone out."

I gave Tig hug before turning to Bobby and Juice. "Thank you all, I needed to hear that."

I turned and took a deep breath and got ready to leave when Clay cleared his throat.

"Tara, I know we haven't been close and when you first came back Gemma and I didn't treat you well and to be honest I was never happy about that. I always knew you and Jax would end up together again. You had to get out or you would have ended up hating Jax and Jax needed to learn how good you were for him. You were always meant to be a doctor, just as he was always meant to take over this club. He needs a strong woman by his side. There isn't anyone I trust more with my son's heart, my grandchildren's lives and my club. When we go inside and Gemma is on house arrest, this club will need you."

"You can count on me, Clay. And thank you. I appreciate your confidence in me."

He gave me a hug then led me from the shop. Within 15 minutes, I saw Jax pull in and I started toward him but then I noticed the car and van following him and my steps slowed. I stood beside Gemma and heard Stahl peg Jax as a rat. There was no way Jax would do that but when he admitted it, the breath left my lungs. I watched as all those guys, who had just calmed me, and told me they needed me told Jax he was dead. How could they do that, didn't they know the kids and I needed him. I became numb and could move until I saw them leading Jax away and I knew this was my last chance to see him so I ran and hugged him as tight as I could and hoped he knew I loved him because I certainly couldn't talk.

I watched as the love of my life left with half of my family, and they left with the plans of killing him. I followed the van as it left and I caught Jax's eyes briefly before the van was out of sight. I glared as Stahl left the parking lot smiling. If I ever catch the bitch alone in a dark alley she would pay for ruining my family. I took a few breaths before turning back to Gemma and Lyla. I walked slowly back and Gemma rushed to meet me and wrapped me in a hug and all my strength left me and I started sobbing. I felt Lyla come from behind and wrap me in a hug. I vaguely heard Gemma tell me she was leaving and to bring Abel over but I just couldn't focus.

I sat on the picnic table alone for a while before I decided to head out and get back to Abel. Right before I stood up I saw the remaining SAMCRO guys heading in; so I got up and headed to the Cutlass. Jax wouldn't make it through the night and was no longer part of SAMCRO so neither was I. I felt my heart start to break again. I stopped and picked up some of the duct tape that had been on Jimmy and I saw the tear fall on it and run onto the ground.

Lyla came up to me, I think she had been close the whole time I just didn't realize it, and she put her arm around me.

"Tara, let me drive you home and then take Abel to Gemma's and then you can have some time alone."

"How am I supposed to go on, Lyla?"

"I don't know; just take it day by day I guess."

"I would appreciate a ride, thank you."

I got in her car and barely saw the remaining SAMCRO, all watching me. Once home, I ran to Abel and wrapped him in a huge hug. I didn't want to let him go but I knew it would be good for Abel to be with Gemma while I calmed down and she would want to be near Abel.

I stayed by the door until Lyla disappeared then went to sit down. I couldn't hold still so I started cleaning and that's when I found the letters. I had finished one and was processing it when I heard the knock and went to answer it. It was the prospects with a letter from Jax but before I got the door shut I heard another bike and even though I knew it couldn't be, my heart started beating hoping to see Jax. Instead I saw Opie, so I stayed by the door to let him in.

"What do you need, Opie?"

"I came to check on you but I see you just got the letter. So I am just going to sit and wait until you read what Jax says and then talk."

I opened the letter and began reading it.

Tara,

I want to start this letter by reminding you how much I love you and how sorry I am to have hurt you in all the ways I have lately. I know this is just one more thing that will hurt you but you had to be kept in the dark. I promise when I get out of jail I will not lie to you anymore but you couldn't know our plans, I couldn't let you become an accessory to murder. Since you are reading this it means the threat to our family in Agent Stahl and Jimmy O are gone. I would never turn my back on my family and never turn on the club. All of the threats were just for show, I swear to you I am still a member of SAMCRO and we will watch each other's backs. I am sorry I will be missing out on so much of Abel and our new son's lives but there is NO ONE I trust to raise my children other than you. I will be getting with the lawyers about starting adoption papers for Abel, expect to hear from Rosen soon. I hope you won't be too mad at me to call and write. I will be in here for 14 months but it's better than it could have been. Start a countdown and I will see you soon.

I love you Tara, and I will miss you and the kids every day.

Love,

Jax

I looked at Opie and he nodded.

"Yes Tara, he is safe. This was all about protecting you and the club. Jax thought of it and it was the only thing we could think of."

"I have been going through hell for the past couple hours and it was for no reason."

"Yeah but.."

I slapped him across the face before he could finish.

"You bunch of ASSHOLES!"

I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. After a couple minutes, I looked up again.

"I'm sorry Opie, it's just I was so upset and then to find out it was all just a rouse…I shouldn't have slapped you. Forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive, actually you won Jax and I some cash. We both said you would slap any member here when you read it and everyone said not if it was me but Jax and I know you."

I had to laugh, that's my guys betting on violence.

Authors' note- I think I will continue this for a little bit. It won't go like my last story but we will see where the story takes us before the next season.

Can't wait to hear your thoughts.