Walk Away

It hurts me to look into the mirror at myself. So, I shut myself in the hospital room bathroom and sat on the floor. I heard them all talking, my wings weren't agreeable with the smock things they make you wear made of papers.

At least I still had my underwear on.

As for my dignity, my sanity, all of that was gone pretty much.

Tear streaked cheeks as the doctors voice explained what I already knew was happening.

"Mental breakdown, it's a result of pressure and trauma. Dr. Martinez, Max is suffering from depression."

A broke heart, doc, that's what I'm suffering from.

"She'll need time but the normal life is best for Max and there's not much for you to do. You say she refuses to take pills based off of past experiences so this is time."

I closed my eyes. It's so hard to do and so easy to say.

I pulled my legs up against my chest trying to call my breathing. Eventually, the smock ripped so I just pulled it off. My side wound had healed by I still saw the long jagged scar from the battle.

You'll be fine Max, the Voice told me.

"Go away," I whimpered, "You're dead too Ari." I could still see it now. Watching as he told me to go on, that the world was more important than saving than him.

We buried him along side Jeb. Father and Son together towards the afterlife…if it was real.

I wiped away the tears and hated myself. I still heard the doctor, "She's dealing with a lot of regret. The only thing you can do is be there for her. Good day." Then he left. I heard thick heavy cries and whimpers. Total was always one for the dramatics.

Angel and Nudge would be silent. I was so glad Angel couldn't read my mind anymore. Sometimes I forget that I wasn't the only one who had changed. Iggy was with Ella, I knew that. And he would be holding a vendetta against me until she was healed although, luckily, she didn't have a serious head wound.

I heard the leaky sink…drip…drip…drip. They say time will make all this go away.

Well time has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays.

"Max," it was my mom, trying to love the messed up daughter that I was. I bet she was wishing she had some crack-addict child before she ever had me. I should've come with a note. WARNING- MORE DEFECTIVE THAN MOST TEENS!

"Just walk away," I screamed, my voice cracking. "Turn and head for the door!" I was bawling. There was no control button. Calm, collected, could handle anything Max was gone.

I guess you grow up sometimes and it's not for the best.

With my super hearing I heard my mom whisper, "We'll check on Ella. Why don't you talk to her?" The silent response told me who she was talking too. Anyone but him. Give me the blabbering dog, at least he cared.

I stood up shaking and went to the sink. I turned it on knowing I didn't want them to hear my crying. I heard my mom coax them all out of the room telling them I was all right.

He didn't knock and didn't warn me. He just opened the door and stared at my figure. My wings covered me mostly anyways but it didn't matter if he could see. I'm sure he saw the scars on my back, the ones I constantly felt were burning.

I peered over my shoulder hoping and praying to see something. But I never got that from Fang. So, instead, I just started crying all over. Suddenly, a good minute passed before I felt warm blanket touch my skin. He draped the fabric over me without having to touch me.

"Fang," I murmured his name with a thousand questions perched on the tip of my tongue.

Why am I going crazy now?

Why is almost everyone dead?

Why does saving the world hurt?

Why can't I be wingless?

Why can't you love me anymore?

Why did I have to realize now that it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else?

"I'll leave." I told him, staring at his reflection through the mirror. I couldn't actually turn him to face him. I tend to break down around him. "The flock would be better off with this new, screwed up me. And you can not feel guilty about moving on."

He narrowed his eyes at me and used his hands to turn me around. "Max- you aren't screwed up?" I rolled my eyes. Sure- the girl talking to dead people, dressed in only her underwear and a blanket, and about to lose her eyes to crying- she wasn't crazy at all.

He ran his hand against my hair and observed me. I couldn't be surprised by him anymore. I knew him better than I knew myself at that moment. I backed away from him and hit my back against the sink. "Don't come pretending that you care just because I'm broken Fang."

"For awhile, I always thought, with so many people to love in my life, why do I worry about one?" I walked around him and headed towards the room. "It's because I thought you loved me too but you're only around when I'm upset or a total wreck. You want me when I'm hurt, in pain."

Fang shoved his hands in his pockets just like usual. He eyes traced me. "Until I find proof otherwise Fang, just stay the fuck away from me." Then I went into the room hoping he wouldn't follow.

He didn't…and my heart crumbled to its final pieces.

It will probably take me years to put it back together.

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Song is "Walk Away" by Ben Harper.

Next Song is "Anyone Else but You" Version by Michael Cera & Ellen Page

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Anyone Else But You

That night Fang watched Max slump into her room. Ella went to hers followed by Iggy for comfort.

He hated not being able to be there for her.

He smashed his hand into his pillow a few times. He hated lying to her. He hated that he couldn't bring her into his arms. He hated that she hated him. He hated that he had hurt her more than anyone else.

He went through his dresser trying to find the paper that made him stop being there for her. There it lay, on the back of an old receipt that crushed his heart almost as much as watching Max kiss Bobby Greene, who may also be a traitor in his mind.

He grabbed it, from days and months of crumpling up in his hands, it refused to rip as if grease made it super strong.

She was always trying to keep it real. Her cries echoed through his wall. He wouldn't ever admit that he had heard her that day talking to Ella, admitting that they had once been together…in that way.

He laid on the bed and stared out his partially opened window. Why he chose the room next to hers after he had to separate himself from her, he could only think of one reason.

He had to be with her in some way.

But it got harder over the months, to hear those pains, which he had some part of. At the hospital, staring at her in her underwear and bawling after she had asked why he didn't love her anymore. Max was losing herself and he had done that to her.

He stared at the fancy, scribbles that haunted him. He could've shown Max but there were things she didn't tell him and vice versa.

I will tell her your secret.

I know what you did at that School.

I will kill her.

I know where you are hiding.

Stay away from Maximum Ride.

Or you will regret who you are.

Be afraid that I know all.

He pressed it against his chest. He wanted to explain to Max why he broke her heart. He feared her life. He rather have a Max that hated him than lose her forever. He would find who had threatened Max and kill them.

Then, he would explain everything to Max and show her the note. Maybe he would tell her his secrets of the School. Maybe she would understand his silence. For that he might have to have a few beers but still, it made more sense than holding the secrets anymore.

Then he would whisper to her while she cried for all the hurt that she didn't have to go through because it was false, "I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you."

Or maybe Max would move on and be happy.

Fang shut his eyes going through all those memories he held close to his heart. They were all of her. The only girl he could ever love. The only girl that made him ever think that love was possible.

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This last chapter is for those who couldn't wait to see why Fang hasn't been fighting for her love and why he broke it up.

More to come, I promise. ;)