Sorry this took so long to get out. I had major writers-block. But comparing my updating times to other peoples' updating times, I'm doing superb. Three months is not my thing. XD This chapter is dedicated to Rosa, who recently came back and pummeled me with her much-missed dirtiness. And it is also dedicated to Michelle for helping me out a lot closer to the end, and pummeling me for getting it done faster.

Okay, a message to invisibleme1835: YES. That sounds awesome, and ditto. But you seem to have PM's blocked, so I wasn't able to reply. You can unblock that and sand me a review or another PM or something. :D Thanks!

oOo

Though I missed Peeta immediately after I left, most pining thoughts faded a bit when I got to Mothers' house. She had the day off today, so it was her and not Primrose when the door was answered. She looked exhausted from working so much, but her eyes twinkled with motherly love when she saw me standing there.

"Katniss." She held out her arm, pulled me into a one-armed hug, and planted a kiss on my cheek. "How are you? I haven't actually seen you in quite some time."

"I'm good. I have some…news to share, and this time much more time to share it with." I still felt strung-out and happy from last night, so it was near impossible fighting off the smile threatening to spread across my face.

"Well, don't burst, now." Mother laughed and we walked inside.

I sighed at the familiarity of the house when I walked in. The memorable aroma of fresh flowers wafted around the living room, accompanied with the soapy scent I always associated with my mother. Primrose was sitting on the couch in a pretty yellow dress, brushing her fluffy orange cat. Even though she was turning fifteen soon, she was still as childlike as she was years ago. I felt my heart reached out to my little sister. Stay young as long as possible, I wanted to tell her. We have time.

When she heard me come in, Prim looked up. "Katniss!" With an annoyed meow, Buttercup thumped to the ground.

I got bombarded with hugs from my family. As I coughed blond hair out of my mouth, I couldn't help but squeeze them back. "I'm only a feet yards away from you. You could visit every once and a while, if you really miss me this much."

"Of course not." Primrose spoke in a tone suggesting it was utterly out of the question. "You and Peeta need your quiet time without us. It's your house after all."

I made a scoffing noise, and let them pull away from me with adoring eyes, but Primrose kept hold of my left hand. "We're all a family in this. You don't need to hesitate visiting." Though, as I said it, I imagined how catastrophic it would have been to have Mother and Prim take a lovely visit to our house last night. I grimaced inwardly. "Well…knock first."

They both laughed, and Mother brushed off the front of her apron. She was…cleaning? Cooking? "So, you said you have some news."

Swallowing down nervousness and fear of reject, I held up the hand Primrose was holding so my pearl glowed dully in the florescent lighting. It took a split-second for their expectant faces to latch onto my finger. When they did, Mothers' face puckered gleefully in surprise, and Prim squealed.

"He didn't! He did!"

"Ooh, he proposed! Ooh!"

"And the ring, it's your pearl!

"AAH! When did he do it?"

"This is so GREAT!"

"I'm so excited!"

My family bounced around me, beaming and glowing and congratulating me. Prim gripped my arms.

"When is the wedding?" She was glowing bright red with excitement.

Through all the hubbub, I found myself grinning too. "I-I don't know, we didn't talk about it. Too many questions!"

Mother, who had her worn hands clapped to her worn cheeks, seemed to be crying.

"What?" My smile faltered just a tiny bit. Mother noticed.

"No, no, no!" She said frantically and put her skinny arms around my shoulders. "I'm crying because I'm happy for you, Katniss."

"Oh." Feeling slightly dumb, I hugged my mother back, inwardly thinking I don't get nearly enough time with her.

Mother, with tears still on her face, drew back and held the hand with my ring on it. "When we got back here I thought you'd never be happy. And I was so worried that the depression would go deeper, and-and I didn't want that." She was bawling with happiness now, and all I could do was watch as she wiped fat tears away. "He's made you so happy, Katniss, and I could never ask any more of him."

Now I felt tears prick my eyes. "Mother…"

"Where is he now?" She was making a furious attempt to scrub the wetness from her eyes as she searched around the room for a jacket. "We must go and congratulate him."

"Ah—he's…" I bit my lip, not knowing for certain. But I had a faint idea. "I-I think he's back in the bakery. I'm not sure. But we can visit him another time…"

No one caught on to my subtle hints. Really subtle hints.

"Nonsense!" Mother pulled a jacket over her petite figure and Prim did the same, garmenting her lovely yellow dress with a green cover. She looked like a pretty little flower herself. "Something like this shouldn't get put off."

I had no choice but to follow.

Mother stopped at the door, however, with more tears in her eyes. She reached up to wipe them. "Time sure has gone by."

"Mother."

"Okay, okay!" With a flustered wave of her hand, she waved me and Prim outside, and followed after.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course, something like this happens, my family has to be in the loop. There's screaming, congratulating, and of course, rushing to everyone else involved and more screaming. It was funny, the way they worked, but it didn't bother me. It just made me a bit squirmy to see how Peeta'll react. There's no doubt he's still…jittery, but I would have imagined something quieter than a store-ful of my screaming family would make him ecstatic.

The bakery was a ten-minute walk from Mothers' house, and sure enough, it was open. Glowing yellow lit up the inside of the shop, and the smell of baking bread wafted in our noses when we walked in. Though the bakery had been closed for a little over a month, it was obvious no time was being wasted starting again.

Peeta was not behind the counter like I had expected. The wide door to the back kitchen was slightly ajar, all the delicious smells coming from there. Dill, cinnamon, fluffy butter, baking raisins…I was able to pick out most of the flavors I could taste, but that moment didn't last too long.

My lovely little sister, who noticed Peeta's absence too, glanced around once, then without any notice, opened the back door and skipped in. Mother, still happily flustered, followed after.

"N—!" I was about to protest, then sighed. There was no stopping them.

And, sure enough, three seconds later I heard the squeals of my family as they embraced Peeta as well. There was no escaping the moment I stepped into the bakery, Primrose clung to my waist.

"I can't believe you're…you're…" She beamed, blue eyes that were identical to Mothers' shining.

Feelings self-conscious, I hugged her back, knowing full-well Peeta was watching my reaction. "You're…making too big of deal out of it." I didn't mention how we already got married once. This time is was just way more real and special.

I looked up from my little sisters' hair and saw Peeta staring at me. His eyes were crinkled into a familiar look. It told me he doesn't mind my family barreling towards him like bulls and inviting themselves into his bakery to hop up and down and scream. He doesn't mind because it was for a good cause. I felt a small blush creep onto my cheeks.

"No, we're not making too big of deal about it!" Prim insisted, letting go of me. "This is a big deal. Ooh I can't wait until the wedding." She giggled and scooted over by Mother to giggle some more.

What was with my family today?

"Is that what's this is about?" Peeta, being humorous and good-natured as always, wiped his hands off on his apron to relieve them of flour (or what hadn't gotten rubbed off on Mother and Prim). He glanced up at me and shot off one, very inconspicuous, wink. I felt another blush spread aross my cheeks.

"Katniss showed us the ring." Primrose took my hand and pulled it up at eye level so the ring could be seen by all. "It's so gorgeous! And it's the actual pearl, isn't it? The one from the Quell?"

Peeta, who was temporarily preoccupied with a loaf of bread that announced itself done from the oven, looked back up. "Of course."

"You saved it after all those years?" Prim was about to explode with excitement, I was sure of it. "That's so…so sweet."

This time, he spared a grin, but didn't say anything.

Prim was still holding my hand up, but at the weird angel twisted, she got a glimpse of the other side of the metal band. She did a double take and examined the ring closer. "It says something on it…"

Mother, who didn't know this was true, scurried in for a closer look as well. I was feel extremely self-conscious by then, so I took my hand back, not unkindly. "Back at the house. We interrupted Peeta during his baking."

"I'm fine, really!" Peeta insisted, and I knew that he was, but I insisted anyway.

Mother, understanding a little too late my intentions, she put her thin arm around her youngest daughter. "We'll be waiting outside."

And they frolicked off, barely hiding their giggles with fists stuffed in their mouths.

Sighing a little sigh, I turned back to face Peeta. "Sorry they crashed into your kitchen unannounced."

Peeta looked at me with an exasperated, humored look. But instead of defending whatever his viewpoint was, he put his arms on my shoulders and rested his forehead against mine. "You don't know how hard it is to be away from you after last night. It was very nearly impossible."

"We should have done this tomorrow." I breathed in the scent of his closeness and wanted to go back out and wave my family to go on without me. "Now that I came in, it's not going to be easy leaving."

Peeta brushed his lips against my neck. "Tell me about it…"

I had to suck in my breath to not laugh. "Don't do that! They're probably listening in right now."

He didn't respond to that part, but obediently pulled his mouth away from my neck. "What were you doing in town?"

"Nothing, actually." It was the truth for the most part. "Except see you. I went to their house, told them the news, and they tackled me first. But no way they'd forget you. You're part of the family, now, too."

He smiled at the thought, and shifted his hands so where they were curled around my lower waist. His thumbs just barely grazed my stomach, and for a second, I saw something flash behind his eyes. Peeta looked back down at me, a barely inconspicuous smile spreading across his lips. I knew what he was thinking. I couldn't help but think of that, too.

"Do you think…?" The end of my sentence hung in the air, and I bit my lower lip.

With his hands, Peeta pulled me closer and kissed me once, gently. "I do think."

That made something in my chest tug closer to him, and I kissed him again. The awareness of my family waiting for me faded. They can wait… The pounding of both our hearts seemed to be the only sound in this kitchen, and the room before me was spinning as we clutched each other in our arms. I fed off this like a drug. Previous thoughts of Mother and Prim at all vanished. Just vanished.

With a kick of adrenaline, I felt the tip of Peeta's tongue press slightly against my top lip. My heart skipped a beat (or fifty) and it was all I could do not to moan and pull him down to the floor. This is a bakery, I reminded myself. Not our house. I had to pull away, extremely reluctantly. My stomach was still twitching with the feeling of Peeta's mouth on mine.

"I-I should probably…" I was winded, and knew my face was bright red. But I didn't want to do anything except stay here with Peeta.

He was panting too, and looked elated. "Aw, do you have to?"

I was feeling the same way. My eyes flicked over to the nearly-closed door, and I felt suddenly embarrassed. What if someone came in while we were…? "Yeah, I think I do. But um…" My mind was still painfully foggy, and the fact that Peeta kept giving me little kisses every few seconds was difficult as well. "Yeah…"

Peeta grinned, obviously humored with the reaction my brain had every time he kissed me. "I should probably get back to work, too."

I had to admit, somewhere deep inside of me wished he would have said, 'no, Katniss, stay here with me. Who cares about your Mother and Prim waiting for us outside?' But he didn't, so I had to reluctantly detach myself from him. "So…no later than ten, right?"

He seemed to consider this. "I'll give you half an hour, how's that?"

I laughed. "I'll be back before ten. Now get some work done." A slight aroma of nearly-burnt bread seemed to touch my nose, but I could have been just imaging it. I may have been expecting a little much out of him, but there was no way I was getting out of there without being tugged into yet another kiss with a wide sweep of his arm. A noise of surprised bubbled from my mouth, muffled against his.

"Okay." Peeta pulled away, satisfied. "You can go now, but…" His eyes raked the room for an unknown something. They fell on a tray of cooling cookies that were on a shelf a few feet away. Peeta grabbed those and shoved them into a bag. "Take these. As an excuse for taking so long."

"Thanks." I peered inside and my mouth began to water. I forced myself to look up again. "These should work just fine, thank you. I should be off now." I was as reluctant as ever.

"I'll see you soon."

His eyes were twinkling when I turned around and left.

The cookies worked. Mother, Prim and I wandered the town, me captured in between the demanding arms of my family. It was okay, though, because I loved them more than anything, and I was too happy to care. We browsed a variety of shops, occasionally swapping words, but I could feel it when Primrose lingered for a split-second longer than usual at the door of the dress shop. Most of the dresses in there were for an exorbitant amount of money, but they were beautiful to look at. Like the cakes in the bakery window.

A few times the topic of weddings crossed my mind, forcing me to think about it. I didn't necessarily want to have a big wedding, but this was quite an event from other peoples' eyes. The Mockingjay was finally getting married to the boy who confessed his love so many years ago, then unrequited. People would want to come, which means I would probably have to make a speech of some sort, and even worse, I'd have to wear clothing. Pretty dresses and smiles and talking to people. Not my thing exactly. Ugh. I'd have to bring it up with Peeta tonight, I suppose.

It was apparent Mother needed to pick up some of her normal household supplies, because we picked up a bit of everything as we strolled around town; yarn, wax, a few spare dishcloths. She even bought a few pounds of food from the butcher, and I turned my head, ridden with guilt. They were burdened with the extra expense of meat, not having me hunting for them anymore.

It wasn't like I didn't feel like it or anything. Being out in the woods alone, hearing the babbling of the spring and the muted rustle of forest animals…it all reminded me of Gale too much, and the happy hours we spent together hunting and fishing. I missed the security of him watching my back, and it was gone. I knew I was able to hunt alone, that wasn't the problem. Grief overtook me every time, sending me into yet another awful wave of depression that hurt Peeta as much as me.

It got to be five at night, and we finally trudged home, tired and hungry. Mother fixed a delicious, thick cheesy soup that was accompanied with a type of crunchy bread. Though we were too busy stuffing our faces to talk, there was a good hour-long period of which we sat around the table talking and laughing. Finally, it turned eight o'clock, and Primrose yawned.

"I think it's time for us to hit the sack, Katniss." Mother smiled tiredly, and added with a grimace, "More work tomorrow."

"Am I coming?" Primrose looked excited, despite her previous tired manner.

"Yes, dear. Tuesday and Thursday."

"Yay!" My little sister did a slight cheer, but the reality of my departure dawning on her, she slumped. "It's a shame you've moved in with Peeta, Katniss. I miss having you sleep right next to me."

Aw. "Me too, Primrose. But I'm an adult now." Eighteen was hardly an adult, and I would have previously argued that, but it was my best excuse.

"And you're getting married to him." She added brightly. "That's so sweet. I can't wait."

"Neither can I." It was true, and I stood up, stretching a crick out of my back. After yawning, I hugged Prim. "I should get going."

"Okay." Unlike the hugs she gave me this morning, Prim was actually aware of this one. She pulled back, ready to say something, and frowned, eyes trained on the collar of my shirt. "What's grass doing on your shirt?"

My stomach fell in embarrassment. "Ah…"

Prim reached up and plucked a small twig of brown grass from my clothing. She eyed it suspiciously. "Have you been rolling around in the grass lately?" Part of her voice was teasing, but as soon as she said it, a knowing glint appeared in her eyes and she peered at me. "What were you doing last night, Katniss Everdeen?"

I opened my mouth to spout any protest that came to mind first, but Mother scolded her youngest child.

"Primrose, that's none of your business!" She said, placing the dishes in the sink. But I could tell in her eyes she was thinking the exact same thing.

"We were just laying out in his backyard. Nothing more." Okay, that might have been a bit of his fib, but it was no concern of theirs what I do on the night I get engaged. If they really knew…

"Suuurrre…" But Prim left it at that.

I got my coat on and hugged both of them. "I'll see you tomorrow, I think."

"Okay. Love you, Katniss." Mother gave me a motherly kiss on my cheek, and Prim followed suit.

"Be good." She brushed out her yellow dress while eyeing me knowingly.

With a final wave, I opened the door and left.

It was a very short walk back to Peeta's house and in no time at all, I was walking into the front door. The living room was empty, as was the kitchen so, assuming he was up in the room, I just invited myself right up into his room.

I was immediately confused when there was no Peeta in the room, and no shower noise from the bathroom. But that was solved in about six seconds, when the door opened and he came out shaking his wet hair, in only a towel wrapped around his waist. I let out an embarrassed squeak, startling Peeta.

"I-I'm sorry!" I said automatically, and backed away a step.

Now aware of me being there, Peeta regained his normal face. He grinned, not nearly as embarrassed as I felt. "That was more than half an hour, young lady. I'm ashamed."

Feeling a tiny more relaxed by his easy nature, I allowed myself a small smile as well. "It was before ten."

"Yeah, yeah…" He pulled a pair of his pajama pants from the wardrobe.

I was only allowed a split-second to register his ideas, before Peeta took off the towel and just pulled on the pjs, not even caring I was standing there. When he shook out his hair for a second time, his blue eyes met mine, amused. "Don't look so scarred, Madonna." His little nickname amused me not. "Might as well getting used to this, because if last night didn't break your uneasiness seeing me naked, I don't know what will."

Though I knew full well my face was burning brighter than the sun, it was hard wiping the smile off. "Yeah, I know." I let myself be folded into the familiarity of Peeta's arms. But I reminded myself, before I got too wound up in him (quite literally), I needed to shower and put on some more comfortable clothes. With a fond pat on the chest I pulled away from Peeta. "Shower, then talk." And other such things that do not include talking…

Peeta seemed to catch my drift, and gave an uncharacteristic wink, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Okay, then. I'm going to go down and get a snack. Don't take long." He leaned over and gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek, knowing full well I would blush again.

I took as short of time as possible in the shower, hastily washing away only the thinnest layer of dirt I'd accumulated today, and stepped out. I toweled off using my favorite green towel (it smelled like Peeta, don't judge, okay?), then pulled one of my soft nightdresses over my head. It fell to my knees and, to my surprise, this particular one belled out at my arms. I frowned. This was not one of my usual nightgowns. Oh well.

Before stepping out, I took brief moment to comb out my straggly wet hair. Braiding it after washing only made it wavy, which I thought looked awful. But strangely enough, Peeta wasn't in there when I went back into our room. I blinked once, and then decided to wait for him.

It was a clear night out tonight; no clouds hung in the sky, sending a dull black to cover up the stars. I leaned forwards of the window sill, drinking in the moonlight splashing onto my face. It was a brilliant cream quality, rare and beautiful. As it rained down upon me, I let my gaze wander lazily to the silhouettes of my forest, waving in the slight breeze.

I had once traveled those, silent and innocent as far as most were concerned. I had pressed my back up against the trees and stood with them for a while, but times were different. I couldn't curl on top of the mossy mounds any more, feeling the body heat of my partner next to me. He wasn't there anymore.

Feeling miniscule tears prick the corners of my eyes, I turned back up to the spray of stars, glittering like fireflies in the blanket of black. One of those, somewhere way up there, was Gale. Even though he was no longer by my side, watching the sun fade with me, I could feel him. I could feel that perhaps, somewhere, he is sitting on a scuffed rock, looking over a forest as I was. Minus the rock part, obviously.

Shifting my weight onto the other elbow, I squinted my eyes and picked out a star. About a thumbnail's length below the North Star, and half to the right. A tiny, somewhat insignificant glow winked hello to me from the Heavens. That right there, that was my Gale.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, wanting more than anything to see him just one more time. I'm sorry for not realizing sooner, I'm sorry for being so thick, I'm sorry, I'm sorry… I never meant to hurt you. But I did anyways. You gave me your heart, and I threw it down and stomped on it. You gave me more than I could ever want; undying loyalty, a best friend to lean on, someone to call mine while everything was happening. Something I could rely on when everything else went kaput. Except it took your death to make me realize it. If I could change things, I would, I promise. I'd love you. But I can't and wouldn't, and you know that. I chose Peeta, and I'm not sorry for that. I'm only sorry I didn't get another chance to say sorry, to say goodbye.

If you're not to upset at me, I want another chance. I need another chance. The only thing I missed about being the crazy wards was that I could see you. Insane, I know, but true. I felt that maybe I could fix things somewhat. So maybe…if you are that tiny, insignificant star up there, do me a favor and give me just one more chance. I'm not going to beg to come back, because I know you want. Just some comfort in knowing you don't hate my guts and maybe, just maybe you're happier up there without me breaking your heart every chance I get.

Suddenly, my face felt hot and I turned my eyes away from the night sky. I felt foolish. It wasn't Gale. It was a stupid star. Just as I begun seriously hating what I just did, Peeta appeared next to me. Upon seeing my distressed face, his arm automatically went around my shoulder.

"I brought you a cookie." He innocently held up a giant peanut butter cookie, an adorable smile spreading across his lips.

Just what I needed. My man and a cookie. I set the treat down on the window sill and turned to Peeta, one arm outstretched to squeeze around him. But before I got any farther than that, his eyes widened and an idea popped into his head.

"No, no, no! Hold still! Right there!" Peeta readjusted my other hand back onto the sill and my head looking out the window. He was smiling. "Perfect."

I didn't have time to ask him what for, because he dashed over to the wardrobe and pulled out a tin of charcoal sticks and a sketchbook. He seated himself on the edge of the bed and began drawing me, peeking through the heavy blond curtain of eyelashes as the charcoal skidded across the paper. I was used to being drawn, so I just held still and let him do it. But not three seconds later, the scratching paused, and I spared a glimpse over at him.

The paper and charcoal was down on his lap, and his eyes were fixed on my face in wonder.

I grew shifty and uncomfortable under that stare. "What's the matter?"

He stood up, still staring. Okay, now I was really uncomfortable, but somehow, that all melted away when he put his finger to my cheek.

"The lighting is just right…" He murmured, drinking in every shadow on my face. Now his other hand had reached up to cup my face, and I felt his fingers trail along my jaw and neck, up to my cheekbones. A crease appeared between his eyebrows and a smile on his lips. "You're so beautiful."

At his words, I felt myself blush and I looked down, knowing full well I had on some type of idiotic smile on. What could I say to that? Sure, he said it often, but really… He's so good at making me smile, it's shocking.

"I'm serious." Peeta put his forehead to mine, so the very tips of our noses were just brushing. "You're beautiful." His eyes opened to stare into mine. The moonlight made a sliver of a shadow on the brilliant blue, contrasting it so…so…perfectly. "And you're mine."

I couldn't say 'thank you' for calling me beautiful (that would be just weird), and adding that to my usual ineloquence, I was quite literally speechless.

With one hand, he lightly ran fingers through the side of my hair, letting the damp strand fall backwards behind my back. I felt them bump chillingly against the bare skin of my back that the gown didn't cover. An inevitable shiver ran up my spine.

"Are you cold?" Peeta asked, again using a low tone, not moving anything but his lips.

I shook my head. "It's just my hair." But then I felt kind of foolish saying that. He doesn't really care about my hair. He just asked if I was cold or not.

But he seemed to think nothing of this. Instead, Peeta wound all of my hair once around his finger and draped it over my shoulder, so it wouldn't touch my bare skin. It felt a bit better, but when the lock of hair got replaced with Peeta's soft hands, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Is that better?" He asked, looking down at me through his eyelashes once again.

Plucking up some courage, I bit my bottom lip and shook my head.

The twinkle in his eyes told me caught on. Peeta stepped an inch closer. I could just barely feel his lean body, and his mouth was just a centimeter away from mine.

"How's this?" I could feel his breath tickling my lips.

Now my heart was pounding in my chest, so loud that surely he could hear it. "Not quite."

Peeta grinned, a flash of white illuminated by the moonlight. "Greedy thing." But there was no time for me to do anything else but close my eyes. One of his hands slid up from my back to under my chin. For a second our lips met, but only a second. Peeta pulled away to look me in the eyes again. "Was that close enough for you?"

I knew a few different way I could answer that question. It depended on what I wanted to happen afterwards. Sadly enough, though, my thoughts were all slurred by the close proximity of Peeta to think straight. So instead of saying anything, I just wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into me. Peeta smiled against my mouth, and pulled away, but only to say, "I love you."

But to my dismay, something inside of me tugged and I felt a tiny tear run down my cheekbone. Our lips broke apart, and I was upset at myself for stopping him. "I'm sorry…" I mumbled, rubbing at my eyes. Though, to my surprise, Peeta didn't ask what was wrong. He just guided me over to the bed where I sat. Just sat. He seated himself at my side, but noted my mood.

With a desperate sigh, I put my head in one of my hands, the other laying limp at my side. But it remained empty for not very long. Fingers twined with mine and our laced hands were brought up to Peeta's lap where he held them. I lifted my face up and looked at him. Really looked at him.

Something in my mind rustled, like the stirring of thick bed covers, and in my mind, he was no longer Peeta. Well, he was Peeta, but we were back in the Games. He was the frightened, yet determined boy sitting next to me in the cave. His soft blue eyes were edgy, nervous, constantly flicking towards the entrance for anything that could harm me. Again, my mind shifted and I was back home.

Peeta was looking at me as well. But…he wasn't the same Peeta. Sure, everyone changes after the kind of heck we've been through, but… The baby fat was gone, cheekbones and jaw more defined. There was a way he held himself, the set of his light-colored eyebrows above tenacious, yet soft, sky-blue eyes. He was taller and leaner, well-developed. But nothing in him suggested he was the same timid boy that confessed his love to me those few years ago.

My eyes searched his face, his body, for anything that told me he was real; he was still the same Peeta. I searched him up and down, wanting to understand what this was. And finally—finally I found it. In wonderment, I let my gaze fall onto our hands. He was still holding mine, and…it was still the same way he had held them two years ago. Still careful, still gentle, still completely Peeta. Completely…

Peeta reached over and put his hand to cup my face. He didn't lean in or anything; just let his thumb brush the edge of my jaw bone. "What's that look for?"

I let my head cock slightly to the left, gently brushing off Peeta's hand. He sat there, legs straight in front of him, looking politely puzzled. I don't know what made me do it. In a type of…trance, I shifted myself onto his lap, facing him, legs on either side of his hips. It wasn't for any bad reason, though. I meant nothing more than to hold his face in my fingers and absorb every inch of it with my eyes.

His lips were parted slightly, in half-expectation, half-bewilderment. With a tiny smile, I leaned forward to brush my mouth on his. I don't know why, I don't even know what was running through my head. Nothing, probably. Just the memory of him sitting there on the cave floor, compared to now, him sitting sprawled on the bed, looking innocent and confused. It just made me want to be as close to him as possible.

Peeta, still captured in the hesitancy of the moment, didn't lift his arms to put them around me. Just let me sit there on his lap, pressed up against him for body warmth and memories. For a teenage boy, he has astounding self-control. It made me want to lose all mine. But I didn't.

Our faces remained just millimeters apart for a few more seconds, and then I drew back, a blush tickling my cheeks. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry…" Peeta's voice was low, but he didn't try to stop me from inching off his lap. Instead, those familiar blue eyes followed me, and latched on the second I settled back down next to him. "That was very sweet and unprovoked. What was on your mind just then?"

I considered greatly mumbling 'nothing' and turning my head away from him, but I shrugged uncomfortably and told him anyways. There was a pause, and I lifted my eyes up to stare into his. "I could find it in you, Peeta, what made you still you. What remained the same even after these years. But me…" I trailed off and shook my head. "I don't think I'm even Katniss anymore."

"Of course you are." He said tenaciously.

I shook my head a second time. "Don't be so quick to say that. I can't think of a single thing about me that has stayed intact through the time I was reaped to now. And even from the time we were rescued from the Quell. I've had a baby, I've watched her die; I made things horrible with Gale, and watched him die; I've blown myself up, I've gone in and out of depression, I've attempted suicide, I've been rescued by you, I find myself barely ever scowling. This isn't me, Peeta. I'm not myself."

"How can you say that?" Peeta seemed a tiny bit offended that I even suggested I wasn't Katniss Everdeen. "I fell in love with the eleven-year-old girl who picked a dandelion from the playground lawn, and I'm still with her right now, right here, still feeling the same way I did. I can't see how you don't think you're yourself. People change, Katniss. I still love you, even though you've changed."

"Stop." I ordered, feeling upset and miserable that I'm even arguing with him, but I couldn't stop. He had to see… "Just stop. You don't understand; you never have. Living in a perfect, rounded lifestyle of a town boy, you don't get what I'm saying. Thinking you're so perfect. I am messed up. I will always be messed up, and you're an idiot for ignoring my flaws. Because one day, one day they're going to come back around and bite you in the butt. You deserve someone better than this, someone whole." Tears began pricking my eyes.

"Why do you argue about this stuff, Katniss?" Peeta appeared to be getting worked up, whether over the idea I don't deserve him, or over the fact I insisted on bickering. "I chose you, and whatever flaws you have I've chosen to live with, they're my problem. I think of all the supposed 'flaws' you have, and it's a pretty cheap price, considering the girl I get with them."

A moment passed before a choked sob came from my lungs, burning like acid. "Don't—just, stop being so-so perfect for once! I—" But my words were rudely interrupted by Peeta. He gripped my arms, right above the elbow, and pulled me into him, kissing me so abruptly it shocked me into silence.

His mouth worked on mine, slowly, acting as type of crazy anesthesia that numbed my entire body. A whirlwind of colors flashed behind my eyelids and there were no thoughts of how unfair he was being; he was never fair. This was just a happy little agreement we came to, making me shut up. Peeta's lips parted, forcing mine to do that as well, and for a moment, he allowed the very tip of his tongue to run along my bottom lip. It was near impossible not to burst into yet another fit of giggles, but I didn't.

For a few minutes, or hours it seemed, Peeta had my body pinned to the headboard, unyielding in the sense of not letting either of us pause so I wouldn't have a chance to fight again. But finally, my lungs were screaming at me to give them some air, and so I finally had to pull away from him. Air swept willingly into my lungs and for a split-second, red dots blurred my vision. Then Peeta's face focused into view. He was biting his tongue, a mischievous smile on his lips.

Part of me way back in my skull wanted to tell him off for not letting me win (as usual), but my head was still full of his scent, his taste, the feeling of his smooth skin. I ran my palm along the wiry muscles of his abdomen, while looking down through my lashes. "You're skin is so soft…"

Peeta brushed his mouth on my forehead, eyes closed. "I'd say the same, but I don't get to feel your skin very often."

"What are you implying, Mr. Mellark?" I felt a smile come on.

If I'd thought he'd be as innocent as ever, and perhaps shrug and say nothing, I was very much wrong. Peeta brought his mouth down close to my ear and spoke in the quietest of whispers. "I'm implying you should wear less clothes more often."

I froze, unsure whether to be shocked and offended, or giggle and not say anything, or be completely un-Katniss-ish and go along with it and have a repeat of last night. That didn't sound too bad, though. I could definitely put last night on my top ten best nights of my life.

"Katniss?" Peeta, who had pulled away from my ear, looked puzzled.

"I'm fine." I assured him, patting his bare shoulder. "It just surprised me, no matter how true."

"Now, what are you insinuating?" This all seemed like a fun little game to him.

In a range of exactly .744 seconds, I made up my mind. I closed my eyes and pulled him a tiny bit closer to me. "That's for you to decide."

oOo

Okay, okay, okay. I'm 100% positive, that after you read those last few paragraphs, reviews will be flooding in, saying stuff like "OMG did they do IT again?" But as a favor to me, don't ask that, because I assure you, it'll all be explained in the next chapter.

Now what that's out of the way, on to the good stuff.

HOLY BANANAS THAT CHAPTER WAS LONG. Wowie-zowie. I could split it into THREE chapters! But I'm not going to. I figured I owed it to you guys, after waiting a week to get this out. :DDD

PS: earlier back it had a reference to Madonna. The Madonna I'm talking about is the virgin Madonna from the ancient times, like Virgin Mary. Not the creepy 45-year-old American singer who thinks she still has the moves she did back in her twenties. Just to clear that up.

LOVE YOU ALL, and don't forget to review or I will turn into a monster and eat all your grandmothers' hats. Yes, even that lovely one with the goose feather. REVIEW! Have a happy rest-of-the-week!